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Ask HN: Why don't I see gold at the end of the remote working rainbow?
468 points by samuel_backend on Oct 19, 2022 | hide | past | favorite | 787 comments
Saying the following feels like heresy and whenever I say it, fellow software engineers look at me as if I just asked them if there are GOTOs in Javascript.

I used to love going to the office. Discussing our team's latest Python problems over a coffee. Looking over at their screen and then asking them why they look like they want to beat someone over the head with their keyboard repeatedly. Guessing people's emotions in a heated Retro from their body language. Grabbing dinner with a few colleagues after a long workshop meeting in the evening and then realizing that, aside from all the differences we might have about static typing in programming languages, we all like the same exotic progressive metal bands.

Many of these things that made my job much more than slaving at a digital conveyor belt seem to be gone these days. And the worst thing for me is that I feel few people relate. On the contrary, many are screaming in outrage if asked to come to the office even for a single day a week and threaten to quit.

To provide a bit of context, I have been working in the Berlin Tech Startup scene for almost a decade. I remember thinking after the first few weeks on my entry-level job that this couldn't possible be the horrible "working world" I have seen relatives complain about all their lives. It was fun, gratifying and stimulating to learn new things, meet new people and all the while be payed for doing so and building a career.

Now, I am fully aware that there's a low of people for whom the horror of commute doesn't make up for the gains of socializing and others that just abhor having to talk to real-life people. Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary. But are those really the majority? I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do. Mostly, because it takes so much grit and persistence to get good at it that most people wouldn't succeed unless they see something in it beyond putting food on the table.

Have I been under some weird form of Stockholm Syndrom where I actually enjoyed something that was pure torture to most? Have a lot of people realized they don't actually like being among other people, apart from their closest friends and family?

And finally, I feel no one else is realizing that they are happily hacking away at the amazingly well-paid branch they're sitting on. As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

All in all, there is a gnawing feeling in me that Covid made a significant dent on the once fun (Berlin Startup) tech working culture for good. And worse, I suspect there is gonna be more consequences down the road for the tech job market at large that few people seem to see.

I know that "the office" is a bad place for a lot of people. There may be product managers that ignore the noise-cancelling headphone stop-sign and make you lose your stack of thoughts just to ask if the dev app URL is still the same it was yesterday. There can be bad managers and unpleasant situations all around. But shouldn't we rather work on fixing those things instead of making them bearable by just turning off a camera in a Zoom meeting?

From talking to friends, I feel this is a very controversial opinion to have and I don't really get why. Any help to make me understand would be greatly appreciated! And just to be clear, I absolutely do get that for some people (fresh parents, people living at home to take care of their parents etc.) remote work is a real blessing. I am just wondering if that is really the case for the majority or what it is that I'm missing.




Before the pandemic and surge of remote work, a lot of us complained not just about going to the office, but that the office itself was pretty crappy. The open plan creates an environment of high distraction, low privacy, and physical discomfort. Whether or not people wanted to listen to music or anything for hours at a time, they were pushed to do it just to drown out a constant background noise of words that are highly salient in your problem domain. You're probably constrained to the desk or chair set up that your office manager picked. The bottom line is you're spending a lot of time in an environment about which you may have zero input or control.

At home, I can work in silence if I want. If I want background noise, I can play music on a stereo or turn on the TV in the next room. When my back hurts, I can lie down on the sofa, or stretch and foam roll in a way which would be conspicuous in the office. I can be barefoot all day if I want. I can snack on the food that I like enough to buy, without broadcasting the pretention of bringing my own food to the micro kitchen. I can eat healthier lunches than the office catered food. Even without considering commuting, or the amount of time spent in synchronous interactions, just being able to control my own space is sooo much more comfortable. I injured my back this year, and taking care of it has been so much easier at home than it would have been in open plan hell.

A bunch of that stuff is nominally compatible with being "in the office" -- just give me a private office, with real walls, the ability to buy my own furniture, etc. But tech long ago decided that engineers get cubicles or open plan desks, that the way you know we're working is seeing that we're looking at screens rather than seeing our actual output, that a clean modern spaceship aesthetic is more important than workers being able to control or customize their workspace. Is it that we don't value the office, or that the office has been created by people who don't value us?


Or I guess to make it slightly more explicit:

- prior to the pandemic and the surge in remote work, people were already talking about how offices are set up in a way which can be unnecessarily miserable, but crams more people in the same space, minimizing real estate cost per head.

- but even though in my city, there's now a giant glut of vacant commercial office space, I've yet to see a single company make the pitch: we'll give you a private office if you come in to work face to face.

- things become clearer if we frame this using a term with some history: working conditions. White-collar workers that have never unionized are now pushing for greater control of their working conditions. A partial list of grievances has been a subject of public discussion for years. Some employers are willing to deal with remote work as a bundled solution to multiple issues, but so far I've seen no employers who are willing to meaningfully compromise on what the office looks like.


The place I am working at has an online booking system for all the desks available the entire office building (~14 floors) and while there are no private one person rooms, the offices are 4-8 seats and there is enough vacancies to find a quiet spot. Plus you get to know people from different departments by sitting in different areas of the building.

Works pretty well. On top, my team could decide to only have a presence day every two weeks and we have that as a meetings day where there is no expectation to write code or do focused work but socialize.

I found that this I am in favor of a hybrid setup like this. For the reasons stated in the post, I really do like coming together in person and at the same time I am a parent that appreciates the time saved when working remote from home most days.


Exactly this. My last in-office job was an open floorplan where I had over fifty colleagues in my direct line-of-sight. The only conversations that took place in the open office were about sports or Game of Thrones—real work conversations happened in conference rooms (when they were available). One team decided to turn a small open area near my desk into their own "conference room", but the rollable whiteboards they used as "walls" didn't block any sound, especially from their speakerphone.


Our team has decided to go in one day a week, and one day a week I am reminded why open work environments are awful. Mostly-remote work actually made it worse because there are multiple people near me who are now in wall-to-wall virtual meetings all day and just take them at their desk!


Indeed. I noticed my hearing was getting worse since in office I kept increasing music volume in (futile) attempts to block out chatterboxes at the next desk. Destroying your health is not worth whatever faster promotions in-office work promises.


Noise canceling headphones?


Noise canceling headphones don't do anything against human voices, which is the noise problem in open offices.


I have a pair of Sony wh-1000xm3 and wh-1000xm5 and they definitely block out human voices, for me at least.


they may reduce it to some extent, but not completely block it.


As it was a statement of my experience, I will reiterate it to make it clearer--they do block outside voices for me, completely.


Get some of the muffler things for building sites. One of my previous workspaces had a couple of these siting around.


A colleague of mine used them at a previous job.

I started wearing them too because they work well but also as a passive aggressive FU to whoever designed these open office floor plans (the ear protectors are usually bright colors like yellow so there is no mistaking them for headphones)

We’re treated like assembly line workers in more and more companies anyway so why not also start wearing the PPE that goes with it?


That's not really something I'd consider to be a perk of that office...


Some earplug and chuck white noise on top is what I did once. My issue is it is uncomfortable.


I've spent so much time wearing headphones in offices that I find headphones to be physically uncomfortable.


Well summarized. I think a lot of people forget how anti-productive many working environments were before the pandemic.

My employer at the time had us working in a retrofitted warehouse as software developers. Huge sprawling floor plans with cubicle farms thrown in. The sound acoustics of the building, lighting (sky lights mixed with arrays of fluorescent lights), and the shear amount of people walking around my desk made it nearly impossible to stay focused for any reasonable amount of time. This forced nearly all of us to use noise cancelling headphones which in turn killed any sort of social aspect of being in office.


Open Office, 1 hour commute each way in crappy transportation. No thank you.


I find communication over messenger apps at least as distracting as the office.


There are usually ways for you as a user to customize these apps and make them less distracting (e.g. "Settings -> Notifications", etc).


Plus that lazy category of people who seek help without even trying can be ignored for a few hours, and when you reply its usually "oh yeah i figured it out"


If you wonder why an argument might be controversial, it can helpful to imagine how it would sound like in mirror world:

Assume for a moment that working remotly and a flexible workday would have been always the default. And now some companies decide: Hey let's contractually enforce a 9 hour continuous workday where all our workers will be locked in a big ugly building that we build just for that purpose (Btw. at least one of the 9 hours will be unpaid because this is where people will have lunch. Also we won't reimburse anyone for their traveling expenses or their time spent during the commute).

Now read again the arguments you wrote to support this new idea.


Disclaimer: I support fully remote work and will likely never be returning to office in my lifetime if I can help it.

Here I play devil's advocate. Even though it is a hypothetical world you've constructed, you still framed it from the perspective of this world.

I can do the same thing you did with a different bias.

Imagine a world where everyone is socially isolated, forced to work 8 hours a day from their living space where they're supposed to be able to retreat from work. They're not allowed to have social in-person contact with any of their peers, but they must login to show activity on their computer every 15 minutes or else be fired.

Then along comes the "office". An amazing centralized place where you can take frequent breaks to have social interaction with your peers. You no longer have to wait for everyone to join the Zoom call and turn on their cameras and ask "Can you see my screen?" — you all can just look at the same whiteboard in the same room! Need to get in touch with Bill? Just stroll over to his desk. No need to ping him and wait for a response. We'll even feed you for free, and you can play ping-pong on your breaks! You won't have to bother furnishing your home office with a standing desk and complicated technology setups. We handle all of that for you, and even have in-house IT staff to fix any issues that pop up.

It all doesn't sound so bad when you frame it differently (which is what the middle managers try to do). Again, I don't really believe these arguments, I'm just pointing out that the way you framed yours can easily be done by someone with a competing view.


> Need to get in touch with Bill? Just stroll over to his desk.

Sorry to be flippant, but to me this is one of the worst parts of office life summed up in one statement. The bar for other people to carelessly interrupt you can be unbelievably low sometimes.


Agreed.

I am a fairly high level engineer. People would come over to my desk all the time to either discuss work or shoot the shit.

However I still have my own work to do. Most of the questions they came to me for are a short slack message. I’d often literally have a queue at my desk of people. I’d also be constantly running between meetings.

Having me work from home is better for everyone who deals with me.

I’m more reachable all the time. That queue of people no longer waste their time waiting on my time.

I’m insanely more productive because I am great at multi tasking when I’m not having to simultaneously hold a discussion in person.

It’s not hyperbole on my part to say that having me shift to working from home has been a force multiplier for everyone who depends on me for something.


> People would come over to my desk all the time to either discuss work or shoot the shit.

> I'm more reachable all the time

Does not compute.

You complain of people interrupting you, but you argue that WFH enabled you to be interrupted more, all the time.


It does make some sense to me! It's a lot easier to manage several slack messages simultaneously than several in person conversations (although the image of an engineer helping a bunch of juniors like Magnus Carlson playing a bunch of chess tables in a line is funny!)

I also like to move conversations to group channels so that even more people benefit from the conversation. It really is a force multiplier.


It's not surprising that people who would do this happen to be the people who want to return to the office.


In my opinion, it's the employers that are pushing us to view these as two opposing extremes. I suspect this is because for so long (as long as I can remember) they've had all of the power and control.

Clearly something more personal is the best solution, there's likely also an age component here as well. I know that with a child it's much more convenient to be at home most of the time.

Now that employers have given up some control, I bet it seems risky to a lot of people to start talking about going back to the office even one day a week. In my own experience, that small concession could easily lead to my employer pushing harder and before I know it, I'm looking at commuting for 90 minutes each day and sitting at a desk Monday through Friday: back where I started.

If employers want to retain talent and get some people to spend more time in the office, I think they should make some concessions to make that attractive. Putting some dollars in to offset the commute (and not just gas, maybe just pay people as if they were at work). Maybe throw away the old mid-height cube system and put something in that's taller and more like an individual office, etc. I'm sure other people have ideas out there, but just asking us to "go back" isn't reasonable.


> I suspect this is because for so long (as long as I can remember) they've had all of the power and control.

We are heading into a recession (if not there already). As the strong labour market deteriorates, this power imbalance will shift back to managers.


My thoughts exactly. Even if software devs still maintain a better than average negotiating position, companies continue to have the upper hand and it's just going to get worse for a while.

I think inside of five years 9 out of 10 people who work from home today will be back in the office. Against their will or not. The company just doesn't need most of us more than we need it, and that won't change. I think a lot of people in the IT field right now just haven't been around long enough, so they think the current employment environment will continue indefinitely. The last 15-20 years have been pretty good, but they are almost certainly the exception.


I'm not sure the specific labor markets we are talking about will deteriorate substantially.


There’s already layoffs and downsizing announced weekly. Even pausing growth will have an effect.


There are more jobs in tech than people to fill them, places are always hiring even if FAANG is laying off. One day that dynamic will change, it hasn't yet.


> It all doesn't sound so bad when you frame it differently

I disagree, it still sounds bad.

It sounds like elementary school for adults.


> It sounds like elementary school for adults.

I think that sounds pretty amazing.


To people that loved their school days the current office culture is probably already great. To people that did not, the office is just as bad. Except it is worse, because it feels like something you inflict on yourself.


Sign me up, so long as there's nap time and recess.


My last couple of employers did, in fact, provide nap rooms for employees to use and they saw fairly frequent use.


do we get snacks and naps? I'm in.


So... a WeWork then?


I'm in a WeWork building currently, and I do kinda like it, maybe it's the novelty, but seeing so many other little start-ups and various micro-businesses doing their thing, often in shared spaces, is curiously inspiring and various other perks do make coming into the office attractive enough that I do it more than I technically need to or are even expected to (it helps that it's only a very easy 15-min bike ride away!). Plus for the team I work with, I generally do find it easier to get (and provide) help when in the same physical space, and it's rarely distracting.


Now throw in the fact that the workers may also have family (spouse + a little kid) living with them and present inside the house during the working hours. Suddenly, the idea to have a physically distinct place dedicated (almost) exclusively to work sounds very attractive and very sensible.

Of course, one could have a dedicated "study"/"office" room with a lock and sound proofing but that costs.


Now throw in minimum 0.5h + 0.5h commute or more realistically at least 1.5h total commuting time and suddenly you leave for work before your kids wake up and arrive back home 2-3h before they go to sleep.

Who do you want to spend more time during the day, your coworker Bill the senior Java guy or your child Charlie, who has just learned to walk but you were not there to see their first steps? I mean, Bill's a great guy, but I didn't marry the company.


> Now throw in minimum 0.5h + 0.5h commute

Minimum half hour commute? Definitely not a minimum. I've had a <15min commute practically my entire career. My current commute is 15 minutes by bicycle, 5 minutes by car, and my kid's daycare is on the way.

Minimum commute is more like 5 minutes. Sure, maybe average commute is a good bit higher, but then say average not minimum.


Thats lucky for you but you must be aware of how uncharacteristic that is. When you get a new job that commute disappears unless the new job is close to the old job or you up and move.


It might be a bit uncharacteristic, but it still doesn't change the fact saying commutes have to be a minimum of 30 minutes isn't true. Its not entirely out of the ordinary to have a <30min commute. Most people in my office have a <15min commute, with a few having a similar commute as mine (~5min by car). My wife's commute is 12-15min. Most of my friends have a 15-20min commute.

Many people have commutes much less than 30 minutes. Maybe 30 minutes is an average, I'd probably agree average commutes are close to 45 minutes, but that's an average not a minimum. Those words have two very different meanings.


This probably depends on your local traffic environment in your city. Depending on the time of day and exact routing, 7 miles in southern california can take you 45 minutes or more. If you take the bus like I do you are in for closer to an hour.


Sure, commutes in Southern California seem to be a nightmare. But most office workers don't live in Southern California, so using that as a global minimum of commute times is probably extremely biasing it.

> Now throw in minimum 0.5h + 0.5h commute or more realistically at least 1.5h total commuting time

This is what I'm responding to here. ihateolives is suggesting all commutes are a minimum of 0.5h each way, with 1.5h being a realistic figure. They make no mention about Southern California, they're talking about WFO in general. Would you agree that 1.5h commutes in general are realistic, or do you think that's pretty big hyperbole?

To me, 1.5h commutes are insane and are a massive outlier, and I live in one of the most sprawled out metro areas in the US.


You are wrong. Look up what average commute time is in US. 40+ minute commutes are uncharacteristic, except for a small fraction of Americans who live in a handful of metros.


> Look up what average commute time is in US. 40+ minute commutes are uncharacteristic

Emphasis mine. Average is not minimum. Those are two entirely different concepts.

I'm not wrong about my commute time, it's legitimately roughly 5 minutes. Since nobody is suggesting a lower commute time for WFO, I'd say that's probably a minimum. I totally agree the average is closer to 40ish minutes, but minimum is not average.


The commute is counted from the moment you exit your home door. It’s 5 minutes only if you work across the street.


My home door is the garage door, so I'm already in my car "door to door". The distance is <3mi. Assuming an average speed of 32mph (almost 1/3 of that <3mi is at 55mph, most is 40mph, I get that average speed often according to my car's computer) that's 0.5333 miles/minute. So that's then 5.625 minutes.

Sorry, I guess I was wrong, its 5 minutes and 38 seconds.


Next time use your watch and see how much time passes between going out of your door and entering your office. And your door is not the garage door, but the one you use to enter the garage.


I've looked at the clock before, it's been about 5 minutes. That's how I arrived at that value originally, as before needing to drop off my child at daycare I budgeted about 5 minutes to get to the office and was usually just about right. As mentioned, it's less than 3 miles on streets with 40+mph speeds. Sure, sometimes I get stopped on the by one of the two stop lights and it adds another minute and a half to my journey.

And ok, instead of my garage door it's my living room door 15 feet from my car door. Why not make it my bedroom door or shower door while we're at it.


Said space can also be rented in a dedicated co-working space (close to home or close to other place of interest) providing both the benefits of a space dedicated to work and the benefits of no commute, rent flexibility (you can choose a more preferable housing opportunity since proximity to work is not a factor), social mobility (you can choose to live in a different city) and personal security (a lot harder for physical harassment in a power imbalance context to happen when you are remote, a lot more likely for other forms of harassment to be recorded).

The fundamental drive of WFH is the opposition towards lords attempting to dictate how people live their lives. If a subset of workers want to work from the company office, good for them. If a subset prefer to work from co-working spaces, good for them. If some free spirits prefer to work from a tent in the mountains with a satellite connection and solar panels, good for them. If some prefer to switch environments, good for them.

This is the same as installing (side loading) apps on iOS. One group desires freedom (to install whatever from wherever) and does not care what others do (use only the official store). The other group (those who like the walled garden) prefers that all others do as they do (only use the official store and nothing else ever, preferably making it impossible or illegal).

I will actually express this in even harsher terms.

Mandatory WFO is a communist notion, it is fundamentally undemocratic and fundamentally un-American. It values uniformity the same way communism does. WFH values freedom and autonomy. So going forward, I will call all those who want to enforce WFO when it is not necessary: Commie-Bastards.


Do you get breaks to play pingpong and catered food at your offices? I've never worked anywhere that actually paid for food, honestly, and while a few places have had pingpong tables it's hard to justify leaving my desk to go use them when there's tasks I could be getting done.

A minor point, but I've always wondered if you're ever actually allowed to use the nice benefits like that, or if they're just something startups show off to investors to try and look more friendly to their workers.


> Do you get breaks to play pingpong and catered food at your offices?

Oh yeah, it was great ( billiards,pinball,foosball,restaurant catered lunches,beer fridays ). It never lasts, usually a company gets purchased and all those niceties are the first to go. This has happened to me three times.

It made for a fun workplace, those were definitely my favorite jobs.


Not gonna lie, the lack of free food in the companies I've worked for has left a chip on my shoulder, and this is after working at a place which pays slightly better than Amazon with the express purpose of poaching Amazon engineers.

I know it comes out to less than 10K per year, but I don't care I don't feel like an elite engineer until I get the damn free food!


> Imagine a world where everyone is socially isolated, forced to work 8 hours a day from their living space

Advocates of WFH rarely care if people want to work in an office if they want to, as long as they don't have to.

So that'd be "Imagine a world where everyone is socially isolated, able to work 8 hours a day from their living space or an office if they'd prefer"


Imagine a world where people work from home but aren’t socially isolated because they spend time with their families, friends, and local communities rather than whoever they happen to be working with at the time.


If the office was so amazing you wouldn't need to force people to come in.


The only relevant difference is in which part you use the word "force" in the description of the hypothetical world.

In the real world, however, no one is usally forced to WFH. But we were forced to WFO.


You make some good points, but...

> They're not allowed to have social in-person contact with any of their peers

I don't think any companies with remote work policies enforce a 'no in-person contact' policy.

> they must login to show activity on their computer every 15 minutes or else be fired

I don't think most companies have this policy.

> An amazing centralized place where you can take frequent breaks to have social interaction with your peers.

Those companies with strict policies on activity monitoring for home workers are unlikely to allow 'frequent' breaks. The few short breaks you have are mostly spent in the toilet, or queuing to buy coffee.

> Need to get in touch with Bill? Just stroll over to his desk.

Have we asked Bill how he feels about this :D

> We'll even feed you for free, and you can play ping-pong on your breaks, [and we'll give you a] standing desk!

Relatively few companies do this.

Your framing is heavily subjective and seems to contrast the best, employee-friendly companies' in-person benefits with the worst micromanaging companies' remote work drawbacks.

OP's framing is less subjective. Although the number of hours, the paid vs. unpaid lunch break, and the ugliness of the building do vary, the principles are broadly more objective.


If remote work was all 8 hours a day with 15 minute checks, you'd be right. But that happens in offices too, so it isn't the key difference.


> Need to get in touch with Bill? Just stroll over to his desk

Yeah, this is part of the problem most WFH folks have with most WFO folks. We fucking hate this.


I'm genuinely wondering if this is satire. No offense. I was just under the impression that the ping pong table has been the subject of enough startup-culture critique in popular opinion to put the idea that employees will actually see it as a meaningful perk to rest. Also interesting is the assertion that having to ask "can you see my screen" is enough of a problem for someone that it rivals waking up an hour earlier for a grueling commute...


I found that the sweet spot is somewhere in between these two extremes.

After a week of working from home, sometimes I found that I hadn’t left the house for anything other than groceries.

In the mornings, I get up and get the kids ready. Then work. Then the kids come home. Family time, dinner and so on. Time to sleep. Rinse, repeat.

So yeah, I find going to the office from time to time refreshing. It helps that my team agreed that office days are for socializing and focused work is not expected.


>they must login to show activity on their computer every 15 minutes or else be fired.

This is the stupidest thing, I think - I don't care if you're at your computer all the time I am at my computer, I care if you get shit done


it gets a bit tricky when you ask urgent question to colleague and he is not responding to you for 30 minutes.


> it gets a bit tricky when you ask urgent question to colleague and he is not responding to you for 30 minutes.

This type of interruption culture is very harmful both directly to productivity (it takes a long time to get back to focus from being interrupted) and also to mental health from the pressure of being constantly interruped and expected to jump at every slack message.

There should be no question that is so urgent that it can't be answered tomorrow. Do a full day of work and check & answer your messages once a day, morning or evening.

The exception is people on call who of course do need to respond to things within minutes but that's why being on call is so exceptionally stressful. Rotate that so nobody is subject to such stress very often.


What question is so urgent? What’s the consequence of waiting 30 minutes, or until tomorrow, for an answer?


That’s not at all helpful and in fact it’s confusing.

Going to a place of work is the status quo with one of the exceptions being bubbles in IT. Some offices are nice, some not. Some are within walking distance, others are not.

You are not locked in to your office unless you work in a literal sweatshop. The lunch hour is a legal right in Europe.

It’s your task to check that you have a reasonable commute before accepting a contract. Why should a company care that you picked a job on the other end of the city?

Jesus, I can’t believe how spoiled and entitled so many people are. But that will resolve itself once remote developers start getting replaced with cheaper workers which can develop apps or websites just as well.


>Jesus, I can’t believe how spoiled and entitled so many people are

The entitlement is called workers rights. People fought quite hard to get the ones we have right now. E.g. my grandfather was still working 6 days and 48h a week (same country as OP). Back then people also called the workers "entitled" who dared to ask for more than one free day per week.

As I see it, this movement will only be succesfully completed once people can rent your skills without also owning your body during that time.


I love this style of reasoning. Status quo bias is a severely strong psychological effect on some people in some cases. This is a nice way to "bust the cache" ;)

There's a really cool philosophy paper "The reversal test: Eliminating status quo bias in applied ethics" - using a reversal like the one you describe (imagine a world where the opposite was true). But then the authors also do a double-reversal (imagine the world is identical to ours, but there's a policy about to be implemented which will make it into "mirror world" and we have the option to do nothing and let it happen, or act and prevent the reversal). Great thinking tool!

https://philpapers.org/rec/BOSTRT

full paper PDF: https://nickbostrom.com/ethics/statusquo.pdf


> I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do.

You do confuse "loving what they do" with "being at the office" and "socializing during slack time". I do love my job but I do hate socializing with people, which is definitely not my job. That is why I'm working in IT, I don't have to socialize beyond the bare minimum to be successful. I think IT attracts introverts like me, and I do suspect we are the majority (but I have only anecdata for that).

> I know that "the office" is a bad place for a lot of people. [...] But shouldn't we rather work on fixing those things instead of making them bearable by just turning off a camera in a Zoom meeting?

Things have gotten worse and worse around the office. Small one- or few-person offices gave way to cubicles, which gave way to open-plan offices, which gave way to open-plan seat-lottery not-even-your-own-desk offices. No amount of pushback changed this direction in the slightest. Meanwhile noise and interruptions got worse and worse, where in my private office people knocked politely before entering or were kept out by the DND sign, nowadays the seat lottery puts me next to a loudmouthed marketing phone-drone, who when not screaming into the mic drones on about his awesome sales statistics and his new yacht. At least the boss can't easily walk over anymore and breathe down my neck because the seat lottery put him somewhere else usually. Any and all things that have been tried to fix this are band-aids and lip-service. It only got worse and worse.

WFH is great, finally a step in the right direction. I do have no sympathy for the extroverts, because they got us into the aforementioned mess.


While a bit snarky, this points in the right direction. OP simply seems to be more extroverted, enjoying personal interaction with colleagues more than their introverted peers. At least from my experience at work + university, IT attracts substantially more introverts.

In addition, family life/ living situation can make a huge dent. Think being single + living in a shared flat in the center vs being married living in a house 1h+ commute away from the office.


Honestly, I feel this is a bit of a black-and-white view that grossly oversimplifies things. And I am downright insulted by the last sentence to be frank.

Blaming shitty management on extroverted techies. Are you sure about that?


Sorry you see it this way. I agree with a lot of what the parent said. The post started the black-and-white framing - the current situation is bad, and we need to fix it.

A popular three wishes joke goes: "Three men are stranded on a desert island, when a bottle washes up on the shore. When they uncork the bottle, a genie appears and offers three wishes. The first wishes to be taken to Paris. The genie snaps his fingers, and the man suddenly finds himself standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. The second man wishes that he were in Hollywood, and with a snap of the genie's fingers, he finds himself on a Tinseltown movie set. The third man, now alone on the island, looks around and says, "I wish my friends were back."[1]

If you looking for different points of view, I would urge you to look past the trigger words.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_wishes_joke


I've never seen anything that so perfectly encapsulates my feelings about this whole return to office thing.


Yes, I am sure that extroverts are to blame. But not only extroverted techies. Management is almost 100% extroverts. Extroverted techies went along, repeating the party line of "watercooler talk makes us cooperate more", "I like the new open floorplan, so social" and "interruptions aren't that bad, learn to multitask and get some headphones". For examples, just read some HN about open floorplans. The introverted techs, being introverts, were less heard and mostly had no say anyways. Extroverted management and techs lacked any interest and necessary empathy to understand them. Whats more, snark and derision for the introverts, not only behind closed doors. HR and management slides praised the new culture of constant social interaction and suggested the rest should just socialize more and learn to multitask and be outgoing. Be more extroverted like us, less like you. Same from the extroverted techies, e.g. here on HN. Introverts just weren't accepted and were not heard.

So yes, I think snark is warranted and the last sentence is fair play. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, where extroverts don't like WFH, I do only treat extroverts with the same contempt I was treated with.


You're demanding we waste our lives and energy to entertain you in the office. What did you expect?


> a black-and-white view that grossly oversimplifies things

Seems like a perfect response to your original post, then.


Haha, I really tried to make it clear that the post just is my opinion and I don't claim to be "right" about any of those things. The reason it's so obscenely long is just that, I wanted to elaborate on how these things appear to me. I really tried not to fall into "WFH is shit and everyone who likes it is wrong". I mean even the title basically asks for input.

And yes sure, in one or two places I phrased things bluntly but always tried to make it clear that it's how it seems to me and not reproaching anyone for their preferences.


It was harsh but anyone attached to the status quo shouldn’t be sensitive to snark from the fringe that doesn’t like it. People attached to the status quo always win.


Well said, I completely agree.


It sounds like you preferred the social aspect of being in the office. Not everybody does. The movie Office Space really hit on some key points: A mind-numbing commute, that wastes hours of "your time" that you don't get paid for. "Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking" Egomaniac of a boss/manager hovering over your shoulder telling you that you are typing wrong, and YOU need to work overtime while he buys a new sports-car. etc...

There is nothing that will pull me out of 'the zone' quicker then hearing distractions in the office. People talking, laughing, standing in front of your desk talking about shit that has nothing to do with you.

I would often go work IN THE SERVER ROOM, just to get away from the noise and distractions that existed in the office. [Open Office layouts need to be destroyed]

So WFH means I get 2 more hours a day of ME time. I sleep in later. I have more freedom of WHEN I work. If I get a flash of inspiration to solve a problem at 1am, I can jump in and fix it.

Being able to lean back and ask my co-worker: "Hey Bob, what was thing called in NGinx that we used last week?" is much less formal then trying to articulate in a slack/teams message.

BUT, I hated being interrupted by others asking things like "..what was thing called in NGinx that we used last week?" when I could have just been asked in Teams/Slack.

So to simplify these points; If you are pro-social: WFO is better If you are anti-social: WFH is better


> If you are pro-social: WFO is better If you are anti-social: WFH is better

I understand the characterization, WFO benefits social interaction around work.

But I’m not a very social person, and I prefer working in the office. Work serves as a dedicated space where I’m in contact with people with something in common. I get a lot of my social interaction from work.

I’m not disagreeing, just adding some nuance. I think the “extroverts work in the office and introverts work from home” is overly simplistic.


Some extra nuance is that there exists people who's entire lives revolve around work. These people's whole life schedule revolves around work and their social networks revolve around work people because they have no hobbies or other avenues of socialization. These are the type of people who live solely to climb the corporate ladder and only talk shop and office politics. Despite being quite a social person, I can't stand working with these types of people and would rather be isolated at home than be subjected to these types. At least this has been my experience working in large enterprise corporations in Silicon Valley.


What if I am pro-social person but I don't like people I have to meet with to be picked by my employer.

WFH is also better if you are pro-social - you have more time to pick up friends that you want to meet - not ones that you have to meet.


There's nothing wrong with that, and I have many friends that like the social upsides of having an office.

But I think it will become increasingly common to divide social life and work in the future. Imagine the following: You have a few good friends in Berlin and each of you work for different companies. But you all work remotely. You could rent a small office space with your friends everyone could work from there, but on different things. You can grab coffee together and talk about metal bands, you can grab lunch together, and you can get a drink after work.

I for one, would prefer this setup, then being force into a location and social life that I don't want to be part of. Sure, you can be lucky and meet great friends at work, but often times this is also temporary - people leave teams, people leave companies etc.


Every time that this topic comes up it goes the same way. I wish that we could all collectively agree that this is a PREFERENCE. One way is not objectively better than the other. They both have trade-offs. We could actually make some progress if we focusing on having WFO and WFH people better able to collaborate together.

One anecdote: I've been working fully remote for the last year. I prefer WFO but such is the world today. It is been going okay for the most part. Everyone is pretty good on Zoom and Slack.

Recently we all came in to the remote office to meet each other for the first time and do some planning for future features. It was an absolute disaster. Everyone has forgotten how to have a meeting outside of Zoom. 5 conversations at once, constant interruptions, etc. We also had some people calling in to a Zoom that the in-person people were on. This is also usually a complete disaster. The remote people have almost no ability to break into the in-person conversation.

IMO, this is the thing that needs to get solved. What process/tools can we add to a hybrid Zoom call to make it productive? What process/tools can we use to help WFH people adjust to in-person meetings? What process/tools can we change/use writ large, so that the WFO vs WFH choice can truly be an employee preference and not a mandate BUT still be a productive endeavour?


> I wish that we could all collectively agree that this is a PREFERENCE

If you read my comment, that's also what I'm saying in the first sentence. I think the issue is that living that preference within one company is really hard. A remote-first culture is usually very different from an office-first culture. I would never want to work remotely when most of my team is sitting in the same room every day (done that, been there).

So, what will happen is that will be an increasing number of remote-first companies, and people who like to work remotely, will work there. This way, the preferences can be shown.

What will the remote-first companies' share be of total companies? Who knows...


Crazy that it turned into a disaster. Ours went so well that we wanted more of it even after the in-person event. We only had one person on Zoom though. I don't know your situation at all, but it sounds like people felt the need for multiple conversations that may have been pent up like a dam til that meeting.


> But I think it will become increasingly common to divide social life and work in the future.

I am pretty sure that is a already the case in most of the world. The exception really is Asian and US work cultures (and perhaps specific worspaces like Academia or Startups).


> And finally, I feel no one else is realizing that they are happily hacking away at the amazingly well-paid branch they're sitting on. As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

Funny. If I was a person from the east or south, my answer would be: Great, bring it on, share the wealth! Why should Berlin get all the best jobs?

Edit:

Incidentally, there was a now-deleted reply to my comment that made mention of the danger of a race to the bottom, and I'd add the following in response to that:

Eh, I have a less pessimistic view. For at least 30 years now we've been frightened by the spectre of outsourcing, and in the end, those fears never really materialized. Certainly a lot of work moved to India, Southeast Asia, Eastern Europe, and so forth, but it certainly hasn't come at the expense of tech in more expensive markets.

The reality is a) there's more than enough tech work to go around, and b) outsourcing is incredibly complicated for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with the physical location of labour. There's no shortage of factors for this--regulatory differences, labour quality differences, cultural differences, communication barriers, timezone issues, etc--and Zoom hasn't magically fixed them.


You're conflating not wanting to be in an office with being mediocre at their job, and that's simply not true. Some of the best developers I've met were remote long before COVID, and I'm certain it's because they were so good at what they did, they could just command such a work benefit.

Now that such a benefit is widespread, the majority of people get to design their own lifestyle for the first time ever, and they really enjoy it, instead of designing their lives around the needs of their employer (or your needs). It's not just commuting, it's moving closer to the office; its time away from family; it's cost saving conveniences because they're short on time; it's expensive lunches when they forget their brown bag; and feeling obligated to hang out with people they really just have a business relationship with (and maybe one they don't want). And yes, a lot of people's mission in life is their family, but that doesn't make them 'less than' you.

Remote workers aren't enough to outsource, outsourcing is not a new thing, it's been around for a very long time. There are a number of reasons why a company might not outsource such as tax incentives, cultural clashes, work style clashes, and logistical challenges.

I would encourage you to do some introspection as to why you think you need the office in the first place. Why do you need the social aspect of it? is something missing from your outside-of-work social life? Design your life around your own needs. Co-working spaces are still a thing, and I even go to them sometimes.


>Remote workers aren't enough to outsource, outsourcing is not a new thing, it's been around for a very long time.

Outsourcing is not new, but the covid WFH was basically a manhattan project to sand down it's rough edges. The fact of the matter is that there are a lot of very smart people around the world who are willing to work for a fraction of first world wages, and are proficient enough in english that timezones are the last remaining barrier. Outsourcing won't leave us unemployed but I do believe that it will slowly drain the 'potential energy' of the current massive income inequality both within countries (bay area vs south) and without (usa vs elsewhere)


I'm skeptical of this to be honest.

The global employment market is a free market (of sorts), and so people will happily pay more for employee they perceive to be better whether they are or not. People still buy Rolexes, iPhones, and Teslas despite there being cheaper alternatives that do exact same things. So companies will hire employees they perceive to be better simply because they share a nationality. While I don't think it'll prevent every job from outsourcing, the high earners will flee to the unequal income areas to spend their wealth. If we see more equitable income in both countries (so to speak), it'll be far in the future if at all. Boots on the ground says internet connectivity in service-based economies remains unrivaled compared to the agricultural and industrial economies often touted as the outsourcing alternatives.


> I used to love going to the office. Discussing our team's latest Python problems over a coffee. Looking over at their screen and then asking them why they look like they want to beat someone over the head with their keyboard repeatedly. Guessing people's emotions in a heated Retro from their body language. Grabbing dinner with a few colleagues after a long workshop meeting in the evening and then realizing that, aside from all the differences we might have about static typing in programming languages, we all like the same exotic progressive metal bands.

This sounds like hell to me and a way to keep someone at the office longer so work becomes more ingrained in their day to day life. I don't want work and my life so connected that I'm going to dinner with co workers.

Discussing issues? Lets do that over a video call. Works really well.

Want to socialize? Thats what my friends are for. Guess what? Since many of us work from home we can actually walk to the local coffee shop or lunch place and talk about something other than work.

Want to get dinner? I'll go with my wife and because I don't have to commute home I might able be able to get a table before 8pm.

Everything you are describing sounds like it could be solved with having friends instead of only co workers.

EXCEPT for the hiring cheaper labor in x country. But that has already been happening. It will always happen. Sometimes more, sometimes less. There are massive dev and qa outsourcing teams located across the globe. Why doesnt everyone do it? Well there are a ton of reasons but if its been happening since the 90s its incredibly unlikely that in y or yy years it become exclusively the norm.


I don't want to be friends with my coworkers, but I do want to have a relationship with them. WFH has meant that we're basically all just doing our thing, occasionally talking on slack/jira but mostly just blissfully unaware of the interesting challenges others are facing, especially on other teams. Imo collaboration is much more difficult with people you have no relationship with, and video calls absolutely do not work as well as in person whiteboarding,


Then thats on you. Our team collaborates with three time zones. There was never full work from the office. Yet we still collaborate fine and share these things when we meet over zoom. Maybe your group should have a regular meeting where if people want to sign up and share what they’ve been working on they may do so. We were doing that even when our side of the group was in person because thats about the only way to get the full scope of someones work: a 45 min end to end presentation where you can ask questions, not chitchat in the hallway.


That's fair, and maybe my company just sucks at WFH, but it's not getting any better, so I think we need to go back to in person.


Thanks, that is my point exactly! I was expecting the good ol' "Get some friends and stop complaining" argument here and it's completely besides the point. I am talking about group identity of teams and understanding social dynamics. It greatly increases my intrinsic motivation working for a team I identify with on a personal and social level instead of "for the company"


My biggest frustration with the WFH discussion has been that the vast majority of people say that the #1 (and sometimes only) reason they prefer WFH is to save time on the commute. But this has not led to any discussions on how we can actually improve the commute, improve housing policy so people can live closer to work, etc.

Instead, people have simply decided that theh will WFH instead, an option which isn’t available to the majority of workers, who are generally not as privileged as the people who can WFH.

The next step will be all the WFH people who are almost certainly significantly higher earners complaining about having to pay taxes towards improving commutes and public transit which they don’t even use, so gradually public transit will get worse and/or more expensive at the turnstile, making life even worse for the largely underprivileged who don’t have the option to WFH.

The push for WFH has been approached entirely from an individual perspective, which will result in further separation between the privileged and the rest, a further rise in inequality, a further increase in social disunity and a further destruction in community.

It didn’t have to be this way. We could have approached WFH in a much more community oriented way, having people WFH but simultaneously investing in making the lives of those who don’t/cannot WFH easier as well, through investing in better public transport, etc.


> But this has not led to any discussions on how we can actually improve the commute, improve housing policy so people can live closer to work, etc.

Letting most office workers not commute is the fastest way to improve the commute of those who must.

Letting most office workers not live next to their company's headquarters is the fastest way to free up housing space near company headquarters.

Making marginal improvements to the commute of 100% of workers pales in comparison to ending commutes altogether for 20% of workers. It doesn't matter if a lot of people still have to go to work, the ecological and economic benefits of getting that many people off the roads are massive, especially for those who still have to drive to work.


On the other hand, allowing those who can WFH to do so clears up road space so that people who must WFO don't have as much traffic to deal with. When you live in a society like the USA that has already created a car-dominated dystopia, and those cars don't scale for everyone to commute at the same time without massive traffic problems... it does take some of the pressure off the system, and ought to help some of those WFO people's commutes.

I think you're right that public transit won't fare well with WFH. But it was already so bad in the USA I'm not sure it can death spiral much more.


I don't want to live downtown! I want separation between my neighbors so I don't have to hear them, and so they don't have to hear me. I lived in apartments for nearly 15 years... never again.

We also have the cost of housing. I can't afford to live anywhere close to the places that tech places typically pick, and they like picking downtown because it's cool, hip, and trendy. Thanks to investors, people moving from the west coast to my city, and the significant lack of affordable housing being built, I had to move even further away from downtown to afford a house.


> improve housing policy so people can live closer to work

Or, improve labor policy so work becomes a much smaller part of most people's lives.


Come on... people work far less than they ever did before, that should be pretty obvious if you just think about it.

Further, tons of "work" is done with zero physical strain, lots of those "work" hours are the in-between stuff -- travel, meetings, calls, lunches -- meaning that actual hours laboring are even less.

https://ourworldindata.org/working-hours


Have you heard about 4DWW - Four Day Work Week? This is arguably the biggest and most-needed improvement in labor / worker rights in at least a few decades.

I can't wait until it is implemented across the whole world. England, Portugal, and other countries are at the forefront already.


Hey, I like the idea of working less too. But why is this needed? If 4 becomes the law, how long until people will demand 3? And we have already experienced shortages of goods recently, how will things get made or shipped or fixed if people are working 20% less?


All the efficiencies and productivity gains we've seen in the last 30 years have not resulted in increasing wages, but instead resulted in higher incomes of the executives and owners.

Perhaps more importantly, the 4DWW isn't a pie-in-the-sky proposal, there are numerous companies that have switched over and have found the productivity gains offset the lesser hours.

As for "how long until people will demand 3?" - we'll see. When AI starts pumping out the same quality of work as humans do, should all humans starve? Or should all humans work fewer hours and capture the benefits?


Wages have increased, but they've also been distributed to places like China, India, Vietnam, as business owners naturally seek low wage costs (and demanding 4-day work weeks will only accelerate the exportation of labor).

Although many first-world countries' median wage hasn't increased much (despite wage growth all around in warehousing, fast-food, etc), the number of high-paying jobs in tech, finance, law, healthcare, media and more has certainly increased. How many software engineers were making $150-250k annually in 1997?


> people work far less than they ever did before

Sure, if you look at the last 150 years, but the data you linked is basically flat since 1980: over the last 30 years in the United States, working hours are down 2%.


Yeah, if anything that chart highlights how workers in the US are getting screwed compared to countries like Germany on number of hours worked. They're working only about 77% as many hours, on average.


Yea, really screwed. Choosing the top country by least hours worked is not appropriate as a baseline. Look at Mexico, or any Asian country besides Japan. They work their asses off compared to Americans.

Meanwhile software engineers in the U.S. make more than twice their German counterparts' salary: https://www.google.com/amp/s/codesubmit.io/blog/software-eng...

Of course, not everyone is a software engineer. But it doesn't seem surprising there would be a correlation between fewer hours worked and lower salaries, likely because employers who are able to pick countries to hire from will avoid those where individual workers do the least amount of work.


It's not 1:1 for other reasons either besides just pay, like you don't have to pay anything for college tuition in Germany and they have universal healthcare, so you pay a ton less for healthcare expenses also, so that helps close the gap for lesser pay (also, you're working 30% less hours on average, so you have more free time to pursue other things, including a part time job if you really need to).

$400/month of my take home pay for over a decade was just in student loan payments, and I got off easy compared to a lot of Americans there. My wife, for example, is still paying about $1000/month, and that's after knocking it down by about $30k recently thanks to a couple windfalls. And she's been paying hers for almost 10 years at this point as well.

They also pay about 80% of your prior salary in unemployment, whereas here it's a hard cap at a really small amount (I think last time I was on it I was getting about a third of my previous salary, and my salary was a lot lower then).


You seem like a rational person. Why haven't you moved to Germany?


I don't know German, I don't think it's in the best location for geographic and geopolitical reasons (see Russian invasion of Ukraine, energy crisis, climate change), my family and friends are here and I value that a lot (also why I haven't moved to Silicon Valley despite living in the US), I already own a house where I'm at and it would be a pain to move, I've never visited and I don't tend to move to a place I haven't at least visited first (I had an opportunity to go in 2019 to volunteer to work a booth for a friend's company at the Essen board game convention, but got too busy), etc.

Personally Canada appeals to me more and I might move there at some point (or at least closer to the Canadian border), but I can still acknowledge there being good things about Germany while having reasons not to move there myself. I do think I should probably move somewhere with universal healthcare before I get too old as I will probably have enough health problems that would either bankrupt me or wipe out my retirement if I stayed in the US, like has happened to several of my family and friends.


We're definitely heading in the right direction. I don't think we're there yet though.


If my time isn't free to use as I will it's work. I don't care if it involves zero physical strain or if I'm on a call or in a meeting. Being in a meeting is obviously work.

Your company is trying to get you to work as many hours as possible for as little money as possible, as a working person you should strive for the opposite. As a worker you are selling your labor (of which you possess a limited amount) and any rational actor in a capitalist society should attempt to maximize the gains on what they have to sell by charging the buyer as much as they can for as little as they can. I don't expect a large corporation to strive for less profit because they're "already making more than they did before".

To be clear I don't _like_ this state of affairs but so long as these are the rules ignoring them only deprives yourself and helps your company.


You are ranting, but not addressing the point that was made. The post above mine wanted work to become a "much smaller part of most people's lives."

I'm all for maximizing the earnings I make while working, and to be honest, sure, I'd like to build platforms and methods to earn passive income while I am not working. But I don't think it is necessary or required to somehow normalize a 20 or 30 hour work week. Further, I recognize that if my workday allows me to sit in a chair all day, as opposed to hard physical labor in harsh weather, then the moment my work ends, I'm physically capable of whatever leisure activity I want to enjoy. You might technically "work" by sitting in meetings for the same number of hours as people whose bodies are broken down by 40 due to backbreaking labor, but obviously you haven't "sold" your labor to the same extent.


Hot take this is the right line of thought. Restructure society so we work less, not so that we can work more.


But doesn’t this drive home OP’s point further? For people who work in service jobs - healthcare, schools, shopping, and restaurants/cafes, for example - how would you approach working less? People want to go out and eat and places are already struggling to hire. Parents want in person learning for their young kids.


Pay people more, hire more employees. The market will decide which businesses remain viable. I am honestly hopeful demand for places like restaurants decreases or the market becomes less viable because of the labor shortage, simply because that industry has mistreated its employees for so long and many have moved on the bigger and better things for themselves.


The only places struggling to hire are places not paying enough.


Pay people more. Wages have been flat for 50 years for these positions.


Its not just the commute but the other things around the house you can parallelize e.g. during a zoom meeting and save time. Doing the dishes, laundry, working out, running errands midday without traffic, not having to go to the dmv on saturday. That really opens up a lot more time than just the commute. Its really an entire paradigm shift of changing work from a block of time removed from the day, to just a series of tasks in your job queue that has some home chore tasks as well that can be taken care of when its actually convenient. You basically become an hpc job scheduler. Thats way more efficient than the blocks of time approach with going into the office and not being able to do these things.


This privilege (which is really just code for $$$) you mention existed in the same exact way prior to mass WFH, except that it resulted in more air pollution, more wasteful traffic, etc. Individuals rationally take a small scale solution to a direct problem instead of potentially solving a huge problem in 50+ years. The post in general is like ranting about not collectively curing cancer when someone asks for a bandage for a small wound.


I actually enjoy my commute. About 30-35 minutes each way. Gives me time to listen to a podcast and mentally separate my work and home lives.


As an individual I have essentially no ability to improve housing policy, etc.

I can however apply for and work at WFH jobs.


There's nothing controversial.

You like working in an office. Cool. Go work in an office.

I don't like working in an office. Cool. I work from home.

The only thing that's changed is that we have more choice now. Like when I finally landed the first job where I didn't have to wear a tie anymore.


The problem for us office advocates is that you travel into an empty office and sit on Zoom calls anyway.

Of course we shouldn't drag you into the office just to appease us, but the experience of working together is effectively not available right now.


This is why it’s controversial.

For someone working remotely, a meeting with someone remote or in an office is irrelevant.

For someone working in an office, it makes their “in the office” experience irrelevant and meaningless.

It is not controversial because of the people who like working remotely; it’s controversial because of the people who dont, because they force their choice on other people.

You know how many people have to work remotely before it has to be a zoom meeting to be inclusive?

1.

So, in order for you in office preference to be meaningful, it has to apply to everyone.

No one likes having their choice overridden by someone else’s preference.

Thus; controversial.

When you say “I want that old school in office experience…” what it means is “I want you not to have that flexibility”, “what I want is more important than what you want”.

That might not be the intent, but let’s be blunt and realistic:

The blue sky dream of that in office experience doesn’t exist any more.

It can only exist if everyone is in the office at the same time.

Personally, I think the cat is out of the bag now. What are the chances that everyone will go back into the office full time? Not big.

That means the blue sky dream of the in office experience is probably gone forever.

It’s probably time to start trying to figure out an alternative set of practices and social outlets for people who like in office work.


I even said in the second line of my two line post that it’s not fair or realistic to expect everyone to come back to the office.

My point was that the 2019 style office experience is not available (or much harder to find) even if we want it.


>You know how many people have to work remotely before it has to be a zoom meeting to be inclusive?

>1.

People on site are together in conf room with lap on table so remote person can hear?


Only if you work with all people who highly value remote work. My office always has people there. And we have the option to work fully remote. Some people have never been to the office.

Finding the right company culture for you is often overlooked in favor of things like the right tech stack.


Yeah, our office now seems to always have at least 30 people at it, maybe as many as 75. Hard to tell for sure, I've never been, just judging by pictures people have taken at company meetings and the cacophony of chatter and office noise I hear when someone on my team hops on a meeting when they went into the office (only one person on my team does, and even they don't seem to go in more than 1-2 times a week).

But there's still plenty of people WFH, and plenty of people who couldn't come into the office if it was suddenly mandated (which it hasn't been yet, just encouraged), because they live several states away.

I'm almost certainly giving up a better bonus and performance review by not going into the office regularly and playing office politics, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I shouldn't have to make that sacrifice, but I never really played the office politics game even when I did go into the office every day, so not a big change there.

But 30+ people should be enough to get that "in-office watercooler" experience for those who like to work in the office.


An elegant solution to this has already been proposed: go and share an office with like-minded people from the same or across different companies.


Actually something I am doing at the moment. It's definitely a huge improvement.

Regardless, having a good brainstorming session in person and actually building a strong sense of community and shared responsibility with a team you're on is so much better in real-life than remote for me.

Another thing is that finding an office space was really hard and we got extremely lucky. Try finding a payable office space in a capital city is not an "easy alternative" for the regular Joe I would say.


Heh, finding office space in a capital city is much easier now.

But you're ignoring your own responses too, if office space in a CapCit was so expensive and impossible for you, what do you think a business is spending per year on it. You could have an office, or 5 more virtual employees.

Software companies having offices in big cities make as much sense as a manufacturing company having a production building downtown. Maybe it made sense in 1850s but doesn't make sense in the 2020s.


This is what I currently do, and it is not a solution in the slightest. Most of what I enjoy about working in office is face-to-face collaborative work. I cannot do that with folks from other companies. I cannot do that if every meeting I take is forced to be a video call.

There is no solution for the office crowd except an office based org. It's time for us as an industry to acknowledge that, and to have remote orgs and office orgs separate.


> an empty office and sit on Zoom calls anyway

For at least 15 years leading up to covid I worked in satellite branches of large corporations and had to spend the day on zoom calls with coworkers in remote offices anyway.


But that’s for you, people attached to 2019 didn’t have that office experience. People who like the status quo grow to believe they deserve to get what they want. Then when workers win some flexibility or supply chains kink up… it’s unheard of.


For those of us with multiple offices, that's what it already was, except you'd fight over a call booth, be communicating over narrowband voice.

But the upsides, coffee, lunch, dinner random conversations can be achieved if you work out of any co-working space or a park bench.


You could join a company that is in person first. I've joined a company that is remote first for their tech team and in person first for their non tech teams.

It works great. If I wanted to work in person I know a dozen companies that want that are willing to offer than. Just like I know a dozen companies that offer a slew of other factors I may or may not care for.


What you did here?

Listing 3-5 things in positive tone about going to the office.

Listing 3-5 things in negative tone about working remote.

It is just a point of view. Let's see how I fare:

I love not to see people wanting to bash others in the face, not having heated discussions but calm and easy to control meetings that are up to point because you cannot just speak louder over people on a remote call. Love to provide actual value instead of hanging around coffee machine and bike shedding.

I am fully aware that there are people who rather go drink beers or have coffee with their coworkers than spend time with their family or neglect house pets they got because they felt lonely even if they live in a small flat in Berlin.

Hiring people from outside EU is not that easy/cheap - you either go via intermediary that will rip you off or you will spend time/resources on finding good people. Screening/hiring people from your own country is much easier, handling any issues that may arise after you hire them is also much easier.


I think a lot of people that get into computers have something where they enjoy interacting with computers more than real people.

Granted, even on the internet I enjoy interacting with people, by reading and writing comments like this.

But real time conversations are not always enjoyable. They can be enjoyable in the right place and time, but the company office is often not that place or time.

Also you don't get to choose your office mates, and it's not uncommon to have some sort of overbearingly loud/chatty office mates who just enjoy torturing you with their stories even if you are not interested.


I can't help but feel these takes come from a lack of empathy; I'm the exact opposite, but I fully accept people have your view. What strikes me as odd is the incapability for the pro-in-office crew to see that they're seeking participation for what they want, for what I now see as a considerable personal cost (commute time, comfort, simply not seeing the work place as a social venture), the participation from the WFH clan is much lesser (putting up with video meetings etc.).

My social life exists outside of work, and I see "work" as an exchange of money for my time and expertise.


I empathize with the shitty commutes of kitchen and janitorial staff who aren't paid enough to live closer. My fellow SWEs are paid more than enough to live comfortably in the city. Some of them choose to trade off commute time for other goods; that's up to them.

I disagree that coming into the office is such a burden or that Zoom is so benign.


It’s not just about how you view work, it’s how you prefer to work.

When you pick up the phone do you start by asking someone how are they doing or wake it clear idgaf?

When I changed jobs I realized what a game changer it was that people turned on webcams during meetings. That’s not negotiable for me. I had a really good colleague who only wanted to communicate through Slack messages. He left. So a job is just money for me to, but I want it to be driven with the warmth of human interaction kindness and not between robots. YMMV.


Maybe they think people who WFH are getting more value from WFH than they are contributing ans employees. yhey fearmonger about outsourcing rather than admitting (understandably) that they want to be on the winning end of the deal again.


I think a lot of this boils down to kids vs no kids.

I really enjoyed working in the office when I didn't have kids. Hanging out with coworkers after work was pretty normal, and sometimes my wife would come along too. We're still good friends with a lot of my old coworkers. In fact, those are the people we hang out with now.

But now that I have kids I'd rather spend time with them or on my hobbies with them or hanging out with other people with kids while the kids do kid's stuff.

It's true, I don't know my current coworkers nearly as well as I did my old ones, and that's been a bit of a problem. We have occasional in person events and it's always a good time.

But that's because it's infrequent. Giving up my flexibility of working from home is something I will never do. But I totally sympathize with people who don't have kids and their social circle is their coworkers (that was me!).


FWIW, I have kids and strongly prefer going into the office. Keeps my home life and work life separate and when I am home it is easier to be in the mental space of being with the family. When I worked from home for the first 18 months of the pandemic, I lost that separation and it was stressful.


Yes, Very hard to solve that bug with a toddler throwing tantrum to gnaw on a raw eggplant.


Nah I don't have kids I am way happier working from home. I can spend more time with my partner, and when she and I both have a quiet moment we can make tea/coffee together and have a short break in our work day. I can do things like fold or hang laundry during meetings. I save money and so much time and energy by not commuting. I like going into the office occasionally for a change of environment and to have access to some of the things in the city after work, but I want that maybe one day out of every two weeks


Pretty much yep. I'd also say it boils down to age which tends to correlate with having a family and also better WFH conditions. When I was young, single, living in a small apartment going into a nice office was great. Nowadays I'm older, have a wife, a kid, a house with a nice garden office. I still love and enthusiastic about what i do but thanks to the internet i can do it from the comfort of my own place.


As an aside, I've worked from home my whole career and that time you spent after work with coworkers, I spent with my friends. So I never really needed to use work as a social outlet.

Most of my friends I see in person come from my high school days or online gaming.


I think remote work is here to stay. There are too many people who insist on it, and will move jobs for it. The downsides you mention are valid, but rampant offshoring will be mitigated because of reasons pertaining to culture, language, and timezone. Office work is not going anywhere, though. Many of us do enjoy it for the same reasons you do.

I think the value of removing commuters from the road is an enormous win. Cities can be re-fashioned at the scale of pedestrians, and urban cores can be built around residential and recreational uses.


> commute doesn't make up for the gains of socializing

You've put your finger on the problem. It's about how people socialize.

From your text, it's clear that you've done a lot of your socializing in your job.

Many people don't. In fact, many put on a fake smile and just get on with the day.

The extra hours a day allow me to socialize with people I really like in my actual life. I've rebuild friendships that were on life support and rekindled with my partner.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the occasional team building exercise. I also value workplace relationships and do my best to make sure people are okay with their mental health. But I'm not out to make friends. In fact, I've always been annoyed by people who used work and the office as a way to hold their colleagues hostage in office "friendships." I'm not saying you do that.

Now everyone is free to do what they want. In our case, the office is open and the 5-10 people who were leading the office social life still go there. It's how they enjoy their workday and it's absolutely valid to do so.

All the other people who were just friendly for the sake of professionalism no longer go in and interact with others except for professional reasons.

If we lived in a world where we had complete control of our workspace (as long as we were physically present in the office) I would work in a private office with a door that locks. I would walk in every morning, work without talking to anyone, and leave in the afternoon. It would be identical to WFH except with an added commute.

For me, it's a dream.


First, they'll send your work home, then, they'll send your work abroad.

People are too drunk on work from home having experienced it for the first time.

I have done it for years. It has its pros and cons. I agree a huge reckoning is coming for white collar work writ large. (1) It can be more easily outsourced. (2) It's easier to fire someone you don't see every working day.


This is happening already. Have you seen how many people Big Tech is hiring in India while laying off folks in the Western world?

Working from the office is not a solution to cheaper software talent in the developing world. In fact, I expect what happened to blue collar workers in the West is now coming for Tech employees.


Spare me the concern trolling. If your job can be outsourced, it will be outsourced. People were happily working in offices in the 90s and it didn't do much to keep their jobs from being outsourced. I don't see any correlation between WFH and outsourcing.


There are institutions which never in a million years dreamt of work from home being viable. You're right, software has dealt with this for years... But what about other industries historically averse to work from home like finance and healthcare?

Also English speaking abroad has far improved since the 90s.


I see this as a strong reason for:

(1) becoming a domain expert who is fine at coding rather than a coding wizard who doesn't know much about the business/ domain.

(2) working at a small company with little process/ few middle managers rather than at a larger corps with many departments and clear role separation between feature requirements and engineering.

Don't want to jinx it, but even if my employer were to move some engineering to eastern Europe, odds are pretty low that I'd be affected. I might code less and spend more time Jira more, though.


As if it hasn’t been the norm for companies to outsource white collar jobs and fire people at the drop of the hat for decades now. I don’t see WFH as enabling anything that wasn’t already enabled from that perspective.


> First, they'll send your work home, then, they'll send your work abroad.

They've been trying to do this as hard as possible for years now. If they could, they would have.


> then, they'll send your work abroad

They've been trying for at least 25 years now. If they can, they will - and whether I'm sitting in an office or at home when it happens, it won't factor into their decision.


I don't even think you're wrong - at some point I actually enjoyed many of those things you list. But either it's being 5-15 years older now or enjoying that I don't have the flu several times per year or saving 60-90 minutes of commute every single day... between all these things I don't miss my coworkers enough that I want to go back to this. This may sound unfair to my current coworkers, but some gigs are somehow special and you make friends that you want to meet in the evening twice a week, and sometimes you just don't.

I see advantages and disadvantages for both, and if we could completely ignore covid I guess I'd still hold my stance of "if the office is not too far and I see a worth in being there in person, I'd like a 2-3 or 1-4 split every week". Depends on your job I guess, with the way my team works 5 days in the office would be actively detrimental as we're basically on zoom calls with different people of the team a lot (we don't have one project/product, but several small ones).


Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Connection is one of our core emotional needs [1], and wanting to interact with other humans and feel like you belong is a very healthy desire.

At my company, I can work fully remote if I so desired, but I go to the office most days of the week precisely because I want to interact with other humans. Sitting alone in my room hacking at a keyboard isn't exactly emotionally fulfilling.

That said, I appreciate the flexibility. Today I didn't go because it was raining (and here I am browsing HN, haha), naturally, I feel lonely, because I have a need for that connection with others. I've had more than enough loneliness during college years.

[1] https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/what-are-your-emotional-...


Oh my - I've been waiting to hear this since forever, and you couldn't have said it better. I feel exactly the same way, and I feel like specially the younger tech workers are losing a big chunk of what it means to build work relationships (which are some of the best), and to connect with people. I don't know how to fix it as like you said, most people will scream when you mention work from office/


> younger tech workers are losing a big chunk of what it means to build work relationships (which are some of the best)

I dont want to judge but its really hard not to if you see work relationships as some of the best relationships available.

They are absolutely relationships that are formed from forced repeated interaction. Maybe I have had a few co workers who I would have naturally become friends with outside of work in the past but I can count those on one hand. If the only reason I am friends with someone is because we are both forced to see each other multiple times a day five times a week then its not a good relationship. Maybe this is a young person thing? A type A person thing?

Actual friends, family, sig others, hell even casual acquaintances that I see around town that can develop into actual friendships are all more valuable than work friends.


Repeated, unplanned interaction is the basic formula for all friendship development. Most people don't "naturally" become friends with strangers they brush past in public one time.

Work is not the only place that can provide repeated, unplanned interaction but once out of school it is the big one.


When I WFH it opens up time to have repeated, unplanned interaction with other people than those chosen by whoever is employing me at the moment.


Why would you struggle not to judge someone who had developed some of their best relationships from work?

Studies have shown that the best way to develop friendships is repeated, unplanned interaction.

I certainly didn’t make friends with everyone I worked with, but out of that pool, there have been some great ones I wouldn’t have otherwise met. I certainly empathize with the feelings of the parent.

Would you feel the same if the parent commenter had some of their best relationships from school, and seeing the same people in class everyday? Or the military? I don’t think the location of these interactions matters.


Also, apparently one advice that keeps showing up from successful entrepreneurs is to build a strong friends network from different places you've worked in. Changes are those people, apart from just being your friends, will probably help you on your next adventure and forward. School is definitely another big one, but once you're out, it's over. Now, if you're stuck at home, it becomes a bit harder to build that bond.


That's... how people make friends.

Did you have friends in school? Same thing.

Neighbors? Same thing.

Soldiers that fought together and keep in touch after the war? Same thing.

Befriend someone you run into at the gym? Same thing.

Something has to bring you together. Might as well be work.


depends on where you live, I guess. I don't know what has been your experience. I've lived in various places of the US, Latin America, and London. I found that the best friends I've made have been from school and work. Not sure I made any good friends "around town"


Second this. After working fully remote for 2+ years and now back to the office, for me it's really great to have an office.


Generally speaking people on HN are well established in their career and have families of their own, so work is less of a priority for them. I'm 21 and actually prefer being in the office because I live with family and hate having to use my bedroom as an office. I like seeing people and being able to swing my chair around to look at a problem together. I want a dedicated work space to enter 'work mode' in. But my commute is an hour at the minimum and about £13 for a round trip.

If housing in the city was more affordable and people could live a few minutes from the office, maybe they'd be more inclined to go in. Thanks to vampiric landlords who want to suck every penny out of tenants, the young people who do want to go in can only afford to live an uncommutable distance away.


Be careful what you wish for, or you might end up with less expensive housing near your workplace because they moved into a suburban office park.


> As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

This has already happened and has resulted in unification of salaries across region (and is probably why the German salaries stayed relatively low in the past decade). In Berlin, a lot of seniors are still making no more than 70k euros a year. People of similar caliber will easily make 60k euros a year in Poland, while having incomparably lower taxes and costs of living.


If that is the case, why are dev salaries in, for example, Dublin so much higher than Berlin (€115,000 vs €86,000 if Levels.fyi is to be believed)? Both are EU capitals with excellent, well-educated workforces.


Ireland is a special case because its economy revolves around tax avoidance. As a multinational you credit your Irish division with all your European profits in your financials and claim the German operation is making a big loss - moving your tax burden to Ireland where it can be taxed cheaply or moved to tax havens.

This relies on doing certain finishing work in Ireland so that all the companies IP and operations can be credited there. You need your servers there, or shadow managers to sign off sales and investments made in Germany so that the sale can be credited to Ireland. So you need to hire in Dublin specifically.

e.g. but not the totality: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leprechaun_economics

"in 2019, the IMF estimated 60 per cent of Irish foreign direct investment was "phantom"

My main point here is that you can't use it as an example for this discussion as it is a special case.


You absolutely can use Dublin as an example, because the vast majority of software development jobs are not "finishing work" for engineering performed elsewhere. That's a myopic and absurd claim. Dublin is in itself an engineering hub.

Ireland is certainly a low-tax haven for companies operating in the EU, but that isn't the sole reason there are 50,000 developer roles in the city. Your sources do not support your claim.


Sure, a lot of foreign investment in Ireland has to do with tax loopholes, but you're not answering the question fully here. Tech companies also like Ireland because it has a large, highly-educated fluent English speaking workforce. We also have a high cost of living here, which contributes to the higher salaries. Ireland is not really a special case - London doesn't have the same tax implications yet it has similar (if not higher) tech salaries compared to Dublin.


Because of the additional cost that the employer is imposed on by the state in Germany.

I bet that the total cost per employee is pretty close.


You need to give the actual numbers, otherwise I don't believe it.

The cost is not close when you consider US tech employees who earn almost double what EU and UK employees earn. Corporate taxes in the UK have traditionally been lower than the US and UK companies don't pay for medical insurance. It's simpler and cheaper to launch a startup in the UK compared to the US.

I doubt the situation is much different between US and German or German and Irish companies. It's rare in my experience that companies can explain away salary differences by showing cost differences. Which should shock no one. Most companies seek to minimize labor costs and at best pay close to local market rates. Or even hire in foreign markets to reduce labor costs. If instead they were seeking to share profits you might see the result you're describing.


> Because of the additional cost that the employer is imposed on by the state in Germany.

There are similar employer taxes (at somewhat lower rates, topping out at ~11% vs ~18%), but the total cost of employment in Dublin is much higher than Berlin.


Is it though? https://blog.eurodev.com/costs-of-hiring-european-employees

Also, in Germany you have a lot of holiday (20 minimum, most companies pffer 30), 3 month notice period, 3 years parental leave (per child), pricing these in, I would always expect lower salary in Germany.


With respect, minimum paid leave in Ireland is 30 days (20 days + 10 public holidays). While paid parental leave is not a legal right, all the developer jobs offer sick leave, generous parental leave, notice periods, vesting, etc.

Commercial property, services, etc are far cheaper in Berlin. Hence why it's common to move start-up dev teams from Dublin to Berlin to save money. My own experience is that Berlin is significantly cheaper to employ developers in particular.


Neither your source nor your list come close to justifying a €30k salary difference. And your source already includes your list.


Maybe unrelated but Dublin has an insane housing crisis. You need to offer large incentives for people to come to try to find housing.

I know a company who agreed to pay €5,000/mo for an aparthotel while they find somewhere. The person came from far edges of Europe, not a specialised or very senior role at all


A friend of mine had an offer to move to Dublin. After looking at housing situation and calculating the costs to bring wife and kids (daycare, babysitter etc) along he declined, because his would be salary wouldn't have outweighed comfortable living costs that much.


I don't have direct experience, but IIRC it's much more difficult to fire someone in Germany than in Ireland. Having a concept of at-will employment that is closer to the US version would be a good reason to pay more in Ireland than Germany.


Not sure where you picked up this information, but it's also very difficult to fire an employee in Ireland. About the same level of difficulty as in Germany (once past your probation period, that is).


I know when the Fortune 500 US company I worked for opened their European office they

1) chose Dublin 2) Flew over multiple well paid engineers and paid for them to live there to train the new Dublin team.

So I think because of some of the tax strategies mentioned by others US companies choose Dublin which strongly influences the salaries paid there.


Taxes and access. I believe Dublin is one of the closest EU airports to the eastern seaboard. There is even an Irish airport (not Dublin, Sh... something) with a USA passport check on Irish soil, so once you step on the plane you're officially in the US and once you land it's like taking a Boston-NYC shuttle.


Shannon, in the west.


I listened to an interesting podcast about how the first every Duty Free shop was started in Shannon airport.

https://www.npr.org/2018/05/18/612441091/a-look-at-where-tho...


Dublin also has-preclearance. A live-saver when I was doing a weekly DUB-SFO commute.


They are not "that" high (ok, maybe in total compensation but still)

It's for two main reasons:

- Because American companies have a better sense of what the employees are worth (especially FAANG competition)

- Because Dublin COL is crazy

But outside of FAANG those salaries are not that high


Irish cost of living is much, much higher than Berlin though, so I think overall the Berlin dev would be coming out ahead, at least this was the case until 2021 when everything exploded in terms of cost of living.


I don’t think these salaries are normal in Dublin maybe senior level at Meta would go up to €115k max (I recently talked to a recruiter about a job there and that was the level)

Personally I’m on around €80k and senior but not in Dublin.


6 figures salaries for senior devs in Berlin are quite common, even since a couple years ago.


I am in the same boat as you. I like to work from the office as it feels lot more social and productive too. Brainstorming or white boarding is not the same for me when I am remote.

I have made so many good friends at work because we were meeting everyday. While I have made some good friends in remote setup too, I haven't met them outside work (working hours) ever.

However, there are people, who don't like interruptions, don't want to commute, don't want to get up early to get ready for work and I respect that. There are some valid reasons for some to work from home, it may be more productive and be able to get into the "flow" / "zone".

Future is remote, more transactional work relations and lonely. (I know, people would jump on me for saying this :)


Work relations have always been transactional. The idea of everyone being buddy-buddy at work is pushed by a company right up until the moment they lay you off because it is in their best financial interest to do so.

For many of us, we are happy to trade less time spent socializing these forced, thin relationships, for more time with the meaningful relationships we’ve created with friends and family.


>> Work relations have always been transactional. It's a function of where one works. I've had examples in my past work life where I have made wonderful friends at work and I am still meet them even after leaving the company. I am not even an extrovert types. And it's not just about making friends but being able to meet diverse set of intelligent people and having interesting conversations over lunch or a tea.

How does one make their first set of friends? school, neighbourhood where we live, college? These all social places give us opportunity to meet new people, and only those who we feel more comfortable with, become our friends.

Would we want kids to just learn from home using Zoom and not go to school? I would not, because I want them to learn social skills and make new friends.

For me, workplace is also one of such social places which provides opportunity to meet new people. But that does not mean I'm not meeting my other friends or losing touch with the family.

I don't want to extrapolate my experiences over others' and I am generally very empathetic to those who prefer to work from home and want to maintain transactional relation with people at work.


It sounds like you're an extrovert. The tech scene tends to have more introverts, hence why this is a controversial opinion for your friend circle.

I think of it like this - extroverts gain energy from social interaction, introverts lose energy from social interaction. Working in an office environment with all extroverts is great so long as the company's work doesn't require more introverts than it has available.

But if introverts work alongside extroverts, the introverts are essentially paying a subsidy to the extroverts in the form of their own Lebenskraft. When people got sent home, extroverts lost this subsidy while introverts stopped having to pay it. Of course, they don't want to start paying it again. Who 'wins' this power struggle is essentially a question of who has more leverage, and extroverts of course have more social capital (because gaining it is a self-renewing function for them). However, because they dislike interruptions introverts tend to do more 'deep work'[1] which makes them harder to replace in an industry like tech.

Regarding your point about attacking the branch we're on, that's valid, but I would point out that almost everyone says they want an equal playing field for the global village, and leaving 'but not if it impacts my personal standard of living in any way' unsaid at the end doesn't go over well if you do have to say it aloud. For myself, I can only say that if I can't stay competitive in the global marketplace given the advantages I'll retain in such a marketplace, I probably need to rethink my strategy.

For your personal situation - can't you find a co-working space to work alongside other extroverts in? I would imagine Berlin doesn't have a shortage of them.

[1]http://www.paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html


I'm an introvert who treasures deep work. I'm not a monk. Going several days between IRL contacts is as distressing as going several days without solitude.

I think it's more nuanced than the introvert/extrovert duality. One needs a mix of socialization and stimulation levels. And ideally, control over that mix. Cycling between social and private spaces throughout the day was a way to achieve that. Now there's only one space. Either it's got other people in it, and there's no escape from them, or it doesn't, and you'll only ever see people by explicitly scheduled plans. Both of those are bad.

The open office wasn't a particularly good equilibrium, since you were stuck in a highly stimulating environment the whole workday. What I'd really like is what I had in college: access to a private room, shared but silent workspaces, and social/lounge settings. No one's going to pull you out of deep focus if that's where you want to be. But when you want to come up for air, you can wander over to a more social space and there's probably a few people there.


"The quiet guy who just likes listening to intelligent conversations and chiming in when they can" also misses the social interactions that happen by default in an office.

Overhearing conversations about other tech stacks/problems, conversations about vacations or plans, conversations about random political/education/local/global events - and learning something from those conversations is what's missing for me.

Switching from a vibrant office built around a family doctor's practice, with people who'd worked there for 15 years - to working from home where the only regular conversations with your wife are about her manual labor job or the details of what needs to be done around the house - has been super frustrating.

I don't want to go back to spending 30 minutes each way in the car, and going into some random office at a new job seems painful. The office building I was at was closed and the team's mostly disbanded, so that life is gone.

I miss the intellectual stimulation and I'm not sure how to get it back, the loneliness of not having someone with the same interests as you is killing me.


Try coworking spaces?

I'm 50/50 type of person, I want to be left alone when I need to concentrate, but I need someone to chat with once in a while. The best job I've ever had had flexible schedule, I could clock in and out at any time or not come in at all, just had to let the team know about my plans. But the best part of that job was that I could walk to the office. 0.5h walk is so different from 0.5h sitting in a car that I wouldn't even call it commuting, it's just hanging out in the city on my way to work. It was the best and cheapest way to improve my mental well being each day.


Ya, there aren't any local to me without driving 20 minutes and finding parking, and I'm too cheap to join one anyways.

Running group has helped, just hanging out with adults and overhearing conversations is nice - they're mostly running focused though.

My commute time was nice to just veg and listen to podcasts; it's weird how you have the same time in a day but don't ever just go sit in a chair and listen to a podcast for 30 minutes when that's what you did regularly for years.


This part: <<However, because they dislike interruptions introverts tend to do more 'deep work'[1] which makes them harder to replace in an industry like tech.>>

I see this a lot on HN. There is an explicit bias here for introverts and deep work. This view overlooks the more extroverted roles usually held by direct managers and product managers. (Introverted sales doesn't even make sense in most cases; so ignore that side.) I have seen too many introverts who think they are doing genius-level work, but hardly talk to their teammates. The worst reinvent the wheel over and over again. (Proof reading this post, I thought of one more strange pattern that I observe: More extroverted people tend to write more documentation than introverted people. It's like a 'technical performance'. The introverts just keep it all inside. Sure there are exceptions, but that is an odd pattern that I observe!)

To be clear: I'm not for or against any side, but I can and do see the benefits of both on a daily basis. Also, I acknowledge the continuum between sides and inherent dynamism (people can temporarily "shape-shift" between sides).

Another thing that never gets talked about here: What about people are more extroverted than average, but still do plenty of deep work? It describes me very well. (Please do not read that description as humble bragging / uber-genius. I am an average developer. Also, I am neither a direct manager nor product manager.) As an example, if I go too long on deep work mode, I frequently stall with "analysis paralysis". My extroversion allows me to step back (heh, sometimes!) and ask for help. If the advice is unsatisfying, or "go away, I am busy", then I try someone else. In my daily work, I try to form a rough sin() wave between 80% deep work and 80% highly collaborative tasks.


If more people saw the benefits of having both on a daily basis I imagine this conversation would look rather different. Speaking only for myself, I was told from a very young age that being introverted was a disadvantage I'd have to overcome, and that the world was built for extroverts - in the case of office culture, I wouldn't even disagree with the latter. A bit of a backlash as introverts assert our own value is probably to be expected. And a lot of that assertion just comes in the form of insisting that no, we don't want what our extroverted colleagues want, and the fact that we skew towards the quiet side doesn't mean we skew towards wanting it less.

That said, I also don't want my extroverted colleagues to lack the option to all work under one roof, if that's what they prefer. Because most working groups benefit from having both on the team, the question has to be how to make an environment that benefits both. Frankly, the employer is in a relatively good position since it makes no sense to overpay workers who have moved to a low-cost-of-living area or maintain office space in an expensive city. But attracting top talent is definitely more complex post covid, given that different kinds of talent has different needs and wants.


Working next to people who aren’t working on a similar system as you gives you nothing to talk about. It’s about the manner of work not just having people around.


So many words to say you are lonely. You are lonely and that is perfectly understandable. For most of my corporate employment experience even being at the office felt distant lonely. So for me it isn’t so much the distance between employees but the culture imposed by leadership. I actually feel less lonely at home where my cats and dogs are in constant need of affection.


I was kind of expecting this argument. And honestly, I don't think this is it. I see friends almost every day after work and most days during lunch.

My main point was that work used to be much more than 8 hours of screen time for me before. And since it's a third of my waking time, I feel I lost something significant.


Are you accomplishing anything during those 8 hours or do you sit in meetings all day listening to people qualify their existence? I changed employers because of this and sacrificed compensation to do so. That resulted in a quality of life improvement for me.


Definitely, and I absolutely love what I am doing. It's only that I really miss the whole communal and social aspect around it and feel few other people do.


Honestly, your work seems like it's a huge part of your life, and it's not anywhere near that for the vast majority of other devs, working remotely or not. People generally spend their "absolute love" points on their kids, spouses, pets, friends, etc. and leave work to be a transaction involving time and money. And why shouldn't they? If someone absolutely loves Wells Fargo, GE, Microsoft, Amazon, or whatever, that company is not going to "love" them back.


Nah, you're wrong there. I actually only work 4 days / week for most of the year. It's not that I am requiring my working time to fill my life with meaning, it's more that I feel the almost third of my life I spent working has significantly lost in fun and meaning for me personally. The whole point of the post was to see how others felt about it and get some insights into different (and similar) perspectives.


Even so, this meaning was never really there at the scale you might be thinking of. I understand its significance for you, but not many people are shedding tears over not having to commute 1 hour or more 5 days per week to be around people they don't really like in an environment filled with distractions, later coming home to a house they can barely afford on 2 full time salaries. To understand the change that has happened, you have to consider the greater context.

If you're a hotshot, you should honestly consider gathering some like-minded people in your area and launching a startup.


OPs post resonates with me, even though my wife is often WFH at the same times I am. In an office it’s nice to be able to go for a walk with someone while you talk, or grab a coffee and sit with it. With WFH all interaction is through a screen, it feels subpar to me.


Cats and dogs cannot understand your frustration with a tech stack or share a similar experience. I have plenty of people around ready to talk to me (sometimes actively trying), but all I can discuss with them barely overlaps with my true interests and situations.


Tech stack frustrations exist regardless. Some people need things to be easy and thus expect some framework to do their job for them. I would rather write the lowest level universal solution possible. Being in the office never resolved these conflicts. The only solution occurs when somebody makes a firm decision. I have always attempted to make my case in writing and in my career it seems many developers are hesitant to put anything in writing.


At least for me, my primary hangup for going back to the office is that COVID -isn't over-! Since I can do my job just as well from home as from the office, I'd far prefer to stay in an environment where I have control over my level of risk. (I realize not everybody has this at home, but I live alone)

For this reason, when I hear corporate taking advantage of the between-wave lull to trumpet going back to the office, it smacks to me as corporate deciding their need to see butts in seats is more important than my desire to not get sick. Long COVID is a scary thing and AFAIK we don't know any predictors for it!

If it weren't for COVID I would likely prefer to be in the office for the reasons OP lays out. (though now that COVID has happened, I think I'd try to make my commute shorter than it is now)


At this point COVID is about as over as it will ever be. So do you plan to continue living as you are for the rest of your life?


Depends on where on the covid-panic-scale your local government is. In Germany there is still talk about waves, mask mandates and possible restrictions.


I dunno, that seems reasonable. If you're were already on the fence about working in the office, and there's a new risk of getting terribly sick for 2 weeks, that could swing the chances. One of my biggest pre-pandemic office frustrations was how often I got sick from the train ride and from obnoxious coworkers who would hover over me with audible congestion.


You can pick and choose what you want to be exposed to, and how often. Like I'm willing to risk being exposed with a few friends once a week to play board games, dine indoors every once in a while, preferably during a time when they're not too busy, meet up with family once every month or so, shop in some stores sometimes, depending on how widespread it is currently, how long it's been since I've been vaccinated, etc (I just got the new booster so I'm a bit less strict recently), etc.

If I have to go into the office every day it's extremely difficult to manage that, especially since I know most of those people aren't going to be taking it very seriously.

Also there's been so many 'Covid exposure' emails from my workplace it's been ridiculous. They stopped bothering to report it a while back, but it was already in the double digits.


Downvoted for implied reckless disregard for others’ lives


do plan to continue living without chronic fatigue?


I'm going to add... since I stopped going into the office, I stopped getting the flu.

I have a crappy immune system, and some auto-immune disorder stuff. I would get the flu for about a week, three to five times, every year. Given I'm in the U.S., that also means I would usually need to get furloughed for any kind of Christmas holiday.

Now... I get to not be sick (inevitably from a co-worker coming in sick, saying 'I'm fine, I can push through', then coughing all over the open floor plan) and I get my vacation time for vacations.


> I know that "the office" is a bad place for a lot of people.

There's certainly a number of us where 'work from office' (WFO) really means share a vast open plan area with people and all their annoying habits.

That's why I don't want to go back. And that's why others don't want to go back. I believe the whole "I'm an introvert" thing to be mostly false for a lot of people for the reason above.

I don't mind socialising at lunch time, or in the office kitchen. But I'm paid to work, and work is code, and code is thinking. Thinking is done silently and without distraction.

But if employers want me in the office. Give me an actual office.

Where I can close the door and don't have to listen to someone eating at their desk, or some other annoying personal tic.


A lot of other people have the opposite problem: even an open-plan office is significantly quieter and easier to think in than in your own apartment with your kids around.


Agreed. I'm fortunate that I have a room that I can work in and close the door.


I miss working in the office.

But I don't miss having to live hundreds of miles away from my friends and family, who live in a rural area with no tech jobs.

I am sure Berlin is loads of fun. But I'd rather be here with the mountains and the sea and the people I love.


Outsourcing existed before covid, it's swings and roundabouts. Most orgs are trapped in a way by their IT dept. Could they really pull off a total outsourcing gig without a business ending walkout / strike action or just dirty tricks from angry employee's who's motivation falls through the floor.

I would worry less about this, keep coding, get more exercise and consider seeing about scheduling meetings at equidistantly located cafe's with your team for a bit of fun.


Speaking from a purely tech perspective: Outsourcing is one of those things that a fresh MBA suggests because it cuts initial costs so dramatically.

Of course, you get what you pay for. And the most talented labor is paid highly for a reason. Replacing one talented (and expensive) engineer with 3-5 less talented engineers can be a recipe for disaster. Outsourcing usually starts when a company has an opening that they can't find a good domestic candidate for. So they outsource the role to a company in a foreign nation that promises the same quality of work for less money.

It's actually pretty rare that the initial goal is to replace the best engineers with cheaper copies. It most often starts from the inability to find a single candidate that meets the needs of the position.

Lot's of folks talk about outsourcing with the implied assumption that you can find the same quality of labor for a cheaper price. But this is very rarely the case.


Those MBA's dont' know, and their bosses sometimes forget, that long term cheap stable employee's who keep the magic happening are in a way an like an appreciating asset. As long as what they know is in use, they are relevant and probably to costly to replace. Cheaper to buy a new MBA and get a different suggestion.


But will the best talent continue to be geographically clustered? Geography historically dictated educational and professional opportunities so there was clustering and then, arguably an amplification effect from the top professionals being physically proximate and collaborating.

You can argue how much of this geographic advantage erodes with the move to remote, but it seems hard to dispute that at least some of it will go away.


There's a certain % of people who prefer WFH, a % who prefer WFO, and a % who want hybrid. The same person could change preferences over time as well.

People will sort themselves into the teams who share their preference over the next 5 years.

Just like how not everyone wants to work 100 hour weeks at an investment bank, but a certain group of people want to take that deal. You self select for it.

I think this debate gaining the fervor of a religious war stems from people not wanting to have to leave their current job to obtain their WFH / WFO preference? The re-shuffling will take a few years, but if you prefer something different than the pre-COVID status quo then you should be happy the shuffling is happening.

Thinking about it more, the WFO crowd grouping themselves only with people who actually want to be there is probably better for them too. The great re-shuffling benefits all! Don't go all Spanish Inquisition on those who don't share your work arrangement preference.


I don't like WFH, but I hate WFO more. Actually, what I like is WAFO: "Work Away From the Office".

I usually prefer cowork spaces, or coffee shops as a fallback. In such environments, socializing is possible, but opt-in. People around are not (usually) your colleagues. But they're still people, so if you're looking to make friends over coffee or lunch, it's available.

You also have expectation of privacy. No one looking over your shoulders and drawing conclusions. Whether your screen is filled with code for 10 straight hours (which often goes unnoticed in the office), or decide to spend your time watching YouTube clips (which may raise some eyebrows in the office), in a cowork, no one cares. It's your process, you're the adult.

> But shouldn't we rather work on fixing those things instead of...

People will be people. You can't fix that. The social dynamics are too complex. The challenge is akin to not thinking of a pink elephant.


I'm a WFH guy. All the stuff you talked about for yourself is valuable, it's valuable for me too! It's just not worth the trade offs.

The stuff you said for WFH people is largely a bad take.

I'm doing some volunteer work at my kid's school which would be a major hassle if working at the office. Her teacher said most years she gets 3, maybe 4 volunteers signing up. This year she got 14.


In my experience, I've developed closer chemistry and more socialization with my team while we've been fully remote, than when we were in person. There is a generation right behind you that is raised on socializing online, that may find it more rewarding than you're willing to.


This experience relies on there being other people of your age or others who have the same attitudes to online socialisation. I am the only person in my department younger than thirty and we all work fully remote; I feel a distinct genrational barrier when talking to colleagues online that is not at all present in person.


you call it chemistry and socialisation. What I call chemistry and socialisation are actual sensory inputs like smell, touch, sound and real eye contact. I can't bypass real human contact with a flat screen.


> I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do. Mostly, because it takes so much grit and persistence to get good at it that most people wouldn't succeed unless they see something in it beyond putting food on the table.

I went into tech because I fell in love with programming as a pre-teen. I love building things. I love the everyday magic of typing incantations and seeing the response on the screen.

I'm also a world-class introvert. If I never had to interact with anyone in person besides my wife and kids, I'd be a happy man.

You're conflating "I don't want to be in the office" with "I don't love my job", when in fact the exact opposite is true. I love my job more than ever now that all the parts of it that I disliked (such as my boss wandering in and starting a conversation in the middle of my flow state) are gone. And I don't think I'm alone here—most people I've met have been programming since they were kids are also extremely introverted. Whether it's cause or effect, there's a strong correlation.

People like me don't want to avoid the office because we dislike our job, we don't go into the office because it allows us to spend more time on the parts we've always loved.


I work remote and prefer to do so, and yet I sympathize with this so much. Why does everyone feel like we have to split into pro-remote and pro-office camps; it's obvious to me that each has its pros and cons.

Although I LOVE working remote, I sorely miss those interactions that happen at the office. I find they make me happier (being a socialite), help me build relationships that lubricate work interactions, and often are a much needed break.

However I count myself extremely lucky: my company will pay for me to fly in to HQ several times a year and put me up in a hotel and I take them up on this. I spend 1 week in the office, I plan on getting ZERO sprint work done, and I simply use that time to reconnect with my colleagues (who try to fly/drive in that same week), do group activities, planning meetings, eating out at night. It's simultaneously energizing AND exhausting.

After that week is over, I feel so much better and I fly back to my home office and find that I have a renewed sense of energy and creativity and am also much more productive with my "real" sprint work.

So I guess I get the best of both worlds! If you can get your company to do something like this, I highly recommend it. Although I know it is quite expensive.


> So I guess I get the best of both worlds!

You get fully remote work with periodic retreats, that's vastly different from "You need to come in X days a week" which is what OP is asking for.


> Now, I am fully aware that there's a low of people for whom the horror of commute doesn't make up for the gains of socializing and others that just abhor having to talk to real-life people. Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary. But are those really the majority? I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do. Mostly, because it takes so much grit and persistence to get good at it that most people wouldn't succeed unless they see something in it beyond putting food on the table.

I work as a software engineer. I love my career. I also love to work (100%) from home. It's not an imcompatible setup.

> Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary. But are those really the majority?

I work mainly to get paid. I do read all tech books that land on my desk as well on my free time. I couldn't care less to play office politics. I love writing Go programs on my free time. I couldn't care less about discussing REST vs Graphql, Rust vs Go with office colleagues. Again, it's not incompatible.


> And just to be clear, I absolutely do get that for some people (fresh parents, people living at home to take care of their parents etc.) remote work is a real blessing.

All the fresh parents I work were the first people who wanted to get back to the office, because they have too many distractions at home. Meanwhile, I know many childless folks who have peace and quiet at home and are much more reluctant to go to an office.


Maybe fresh dads. I imagine majority of fresh moms like WFH due to the ease of breastfeeding. Assuming they are in a country without 1 year of parental leave.


For what it is worth, I agree with you. If I were younger and single, I would be dying right now. Begging to go back to the office, most likely. Switching jobs to Nike, if I could, since they are back in the office part time at least. I never could handle so much alone time in my own house, it drove me stir crazy. I need humans, I've always had coworkers I enjoyed being around, I loved going out for beers afterward with current & former coworkers & friends. The pandemic killed all of that, and (at least in my area) it probably isn't coming back, at least not soon.

The only way I survive remote work is because I now have a family. Wife, two kids, dog, couple cats. Plenty of stuff always needing to be done around the house, I can always find something to occupy me. There is always someone to talk to if I want to (the kids go to school, but my wife works from home too).

So I feel your pain. And I think there are more of us than you think, we are just not particularly outspoken. It's just not cool to have such thoughts these days, as you have noted.


> It's just not cool to have such thoughts these days, as you have noted.

Yup. The pendulum will swing back though. Just give it time.

Hype and cargo cults are the bedrock of our industry. Always has been.

This too shall pass.


> why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south?

Because if they are worth anything, those people will find somebody else willing to pay German wages.

Pay peanuts, get monkeys.


I'm pretty sympathetic to your view. I have friends I still keep up with from old jobs. I've worked at places where I pretty much hated everyone, but overall I've always managed to connect to someone there, and that was nice. Now it's stilted zoom meetings, Slack gifs, not much else. That's a bummer. I just came back from a 3 day work summit and it was actually great to see people I work with, to get to know them, to read their little mannerisms and find out their quirks. I'm a pretty shy person, and I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed it.

But work is a site of control. I think this is the source of controversy you've discovered. Even if you enjoy your work and the people you work with, it's still an obligation. It took 18+ years of conditioning to get you used to this life. Finally, workers (granted, members of the laptop class like us, already a pretty well-off group) get a bit of a say, a tad bit more control over their lives. You don't have to sit in traffic, or on a train, while your brain rots with stress. You don't have some petty asshole looking over your shoulder. You can see your family more. You can sleep more. It's quite liberating to have that choice.

From where I'm sitting, I see a big push to return to the office in the media. I get the feeling, totally unsubstantiated by evidence, that this is coming from the top. Insecure leaders who need to see their underlings typing. People who genuinely hate that they've lost some control, demanding that the serfs come in under their eye. This is neither nuanced nor totally fair, but I'm trying to evoke some feelings here, to maybe get at why this is controversial.

For me personally, if I could wave a wand, I'd choose a very short commute and 2-3 days in the office. But I also bristle at the back to the office push.


> I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do

That used to be true, before smartphones arrived and before DevOps became a thing.

Now it is what it is - a lot of (mediocre or worse) people working on something they don't particularly like, in order to get by. And that's ok.

The romantic days of IT are over, there are no more heated discussions and geeky hobbies we all used to love.

I thought working from home would be great. But after I did it for 12 months, I became sick of it. What I think now is that hybrid model works for me - I can go to the office when I want to, but if it's raining outside or I feel really bad - I can stay and WFH.

For some people, full remote works. For some - full on premises works. For some - hybrid is good.

I guess this falls into de gustibus non disputandum est category, but my unpopular opinion is that IT is full of impostors and that a huge number of impostors uses work from home as incompetence disguise - because it's so easy to hide incompetence while you're away from anyone who can spot you.


One of the reasons I have been pushing hard for full work from home at my company is purely economical. Having to work from the office is actively degrading my quality of life, my wife and I have a child on the way and we are stuck in a 1 bedroom apartment because we simply cannot afford to buy a home anywhere in the city which my office is located. My pay would have to at a minimum double to even qualify for a mortgage in the city I am in.

It is not that I do not like going to the office (on occasion), its that going to the office degrades my life outside of the office.


Interestingly, I've had the opposite experience. Working from home full-time means an office, which is an extra room. One per person, if you have a partner (open office is acceptable at the office, not at home!) and this means a couple or family who could get by with a 2br apartment now needs a 3br one.

The caveat is of course that I wanted to stay in the same city, or any city generally. I would get cheaper housing in a village, but I don't want to live in a village. Suburbs? Around Berlin where I live, they are not cheap.


Economically speaking, does your job not pay enough for you to afford a 2-3 bedroom apartment?


>From talking to friends, I feel this is a very controversial opinion to have and I don't really get why. Any help to make me understand would be greatly appreciated

Answering with only my perspectives:

Working from the office is a tilt in favor of the employer because they dictate the location. WFO is the historical norm, so until WFH is equally normalized, calls to WFO feel troubling. Given the two points, any employee support (perhaps rightly) can and has been used by employers to justify returns to office and limitations on WFH.

But ultimately, these conversations are good to have.


"Looking over at their screen and then asking them why they look like they want to beat someone over the head with their keyboard repeatedly."

You sound like exactly the co-workers I want to get away from. Leave me alone, I'm working and thinking. WFH might not be fore you.That's fine. It is for me. Leave me out of your glorious vision.


The issue is that working from the office no longer exists.

I am aware of precisely zero software development companies in London that work from the office in the normal way that almost everyone did in 2019.

I can either do Zoom calls from home, or Zoom calls from the office. Barely anyone is there.

That's not WFO. That's just a waste of time, worst of both worlds.


After being remote 100% for the past 6 years I personally don't think I could endure an office again, at least not full-time. Part of it is a realization of how distracting most office plans were to me. Another part is having developed an unfortunate "allergy" to office visits, which makes itself reminded each time I visit company premises for kick-offs or important biannual meetings and such.


Going into the office reminds me that I’m part of a team, working on something important, and gives me a space where I can focus and get things done. Also helps me build deeper relationships with people. I have very rarely gotten into an impromptu conversation about someone’s kids remotely. Stuff like that happens every time I go in.

Working from home gives me flexibility and uninterrupted heads down time (in theory) but I’m generally much more distracted.

I think people (myself included) overestimate their ability to get stuff done at home. There’s an adverse incentive, because being honest with yourself about that means you might have to go in more. But people vary. Some people are very disciplined working from home.

Hybrid is the way.


Communities are born, they live, they change, and sometimes they die. The community that you are in which is changing, the Berlin Startup scene, will either experience a rebirth or dissolve into other communities.

For me, WFH is all about saving 2-3 hours per day by not having to commute. Additional benefits include access to better food during the day and fewer interactions with assholes.


> I used to love going to the office.

I hated going to office (and that's why I stopped doing it like 20 years ago).

But it's not a case of one of us being right and the other wrong, it's just that some people are more extrovert, and some are more introvert, and we simply don't enjoy the same things.

Now, being introvert doesn't mean I hate other people. I actually enjoy in daily interactions with my colleagues, and with many of them (current and ex) I'm a close friend, we (and our families) socialize outside the work regularly - but we don't need to be locked for 8h in the same building for that. Being able to do it on our own time and terms is actually much more rewarding for everyone.


> But it's not a case of one of us being right and the other wrong, it's just that some people are more extrovert, and some are more introvert, and we simply don't enjoy the same things.

I don't think the separation is across the intro/extra-version line. I'm an introvert and I strongly prefer the office over remote.


Interesting, can you elaborate on the pros/cons of the office for you?


Most people's living conditions are not right for remote work. Living in tiny apartmetns without a garden and neighbours to talk is suited to factory workers, not knowledge workers. Living situation becomes the most important thing with remote work


Most of my distaste for WFO comes from two places:

- the USA's failure to provide even a single city that's pleasant to live in and travel around without a car

- tech company insistence on open office layouts that are not conducive to deep work

The first one sounds like a commute problem... but it manifests in more ways than you think. When you have to travel around in a car, everything is expensive. Parking is a pain. There's a certain amount of effort required to hop in a car, leave the parking garage for work, find a parking space near a lunch spot, etc. It's a huge financial burden in maintenance and feeding with gasoline or electricity. The economics of cars also impact how much space cities can devote to housing, how dense we can make downtowns, etc -- which has knock-on effects on housing prices and rent.

Open offices make me never want to come into the office because I can't concentrate. They're always the wrong temperature. I can't personalize my desk or my space into something that best suits me. I can't leave stuff out on my desk, or even in unlocked drawers overnight because apparently the janitor might steal Kafka secrets and sell them to competitors.

I actually like the idea of walking or biking to an office (with an actual office for me) where I can collaborate with coworkers in person. But modern society and tech companies have externalized so many costs -- car ownership, commuting time, comfort, rent -- onto workers that I'd rather just work from home. The last city I lived in had massive car theft and crime problems at night; it's not like I'd "hang out" with my coworkers for dinner downtown even if we all showed up.


You've described Brooklyn and NYC at large... if you're anti-car then consider the city. Boston is a good second choice. I've lived in both.

NYC comes with the normal downsides of the biggest city in the US: expenses, limited space, crowding, and noise. But this is true of all large cities in the world: Paris, London, Tokyo, etc.

But it comes with the immense upsides of a functioning metropolitan transit system, which covers the majority of the living spaces, at an affordable price, and doesn't require Uber or car to go the "last mile".

Additionally there are countless flex offices, coworking spaces, etc. Everyone I've met in tech in the city has some sort of WFH/WFO at this point in the pandemic.

City life isn't for everyone but if you're looking for a good transit system in the US there are two or three (Chicago too)

Best of luck with your journey


What if I can't fit in a shoebox and can't afford anything larger? What if I have a dog and want them to have a yard that doesn't require me to leash them every time they want to go outside? I don't mind sharing a yard with neighbors, heck I would even share a kitchen space if I knew it would be maintained well and available when I need it. But none of that is even an option.

I don't buy the idea that only hyper-dense cities can be walkable. The fact that NYC, Boston, Chicago, etc. are the closest thing we have to anti-car living speaks directly to OP's point about the US not prioritizing building comfortable communities.


DC does a pretty good job of being a middle ground. Very walkable in most parts, a high number of single-family homes, lots of park space where you can take your dog off leash. Houses have gotten pretty expensive over the last 10 or so years though


You can't have walkable if each person has a lot of space.


Elevators are fast.


Not everyone can have a yard if you build up


Live in Queens or Jersey? Take the train in from outside the city? Not all of the city is Manhattan.


Awesome username :D


Except in NYC/Brooklyn, the crime rate and filth are both high. Not to mention the rude behavior that takes over anyone who spent more than a year there. Something like Tokyo, Singapore in terms of lawfulness and politeness is whats desperately needed in the US. Any city in the US is far from that.


As always, NYC is one of the safer US cities in the nation across basically any metric you can find, and sometimes one of the safest.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_cities_b...

We leave our trash in the streets, and I'm an asshole. So I can concede those points! But most city dwellers in the US live somewhere less safe than NYC.


Per capita is useless metric when you spend most of the time in the most crime ridden areas (the busiest places in NYC). Crime/area is more relevant metric.

I have been beaten up bad by teenagers and cops did jack shit (across the river in jersey). A friend of mine got robbed at midnight on 5th avenue (it was busy), cops again did nothing. Gun shots in washington square park and a faculty member was robbed there. These are anecdotes from years ago, its much worse now. You've to be on guard every second when you're out (especially at night). This is not a healthy life, and no wonder people become rude, 0 trust society will do that. Traveling in subways are essentially playing Russian roulette with a few more empty chambers. You can't pay me enough to even visit that place again.


But most city dwellers in the US live somewhere less safe than NYC.

The link you provided says NYC is the 67th most dangerous by crime rate. That is for the city as a whole, not for any particular borough or neighborhood. It also doesn't take into account other non-crime related danger. It also lists over 20 million people living in cities with a lower crime rate, even though it doesn't include hundreds of other cities because it is a list of the top 100 cities by crime rate.


Haven’t 4 or 6 people literally died on the NYC subway in the last 6 weeks?

NYC needs more law & order


It has the highest police budget and the subway budget in the nation and still can't handle crime due to politics. Law, order and thousand other things have to improve there.


Boston/Cambridge and NYC come to mind as cities where one can avoid having a car. Are there others that save sufficient public transport, housing and support buildings that should be considered. In Canada, Montreal fits that description. I’ve not lived in or talked to enough people from Toronto or Vancouver to know how liveable they are on foot.

Open offices are a plague. Any company using them is interested in reduced real estate costs and having a younger staff. They’re not interested in productivity or quality of work.


Also open offices are the norm in many places -- so any company wanting a non-open office has to face going counter culture alone; apart from having to figure out logistics involved in setting up cubicles and offices. Some of us don't even know what non-open office looks like. Closest I have seen is the rooms of high ranking execs, doctors and professors lol.


Err, this sorta proves my point re: a younger staff...


Yep I was adding to your point. People who wfh are building nicer and nicer home offices also -- or at least fantasizing about it haha. And such an office is nearly impossible in a conventional work office building.


> - the USA's failure to provide even a single city that's pleasant to live in and travel around without a car

New York, for good reason, is considered one of the most desirable cities there is. I've spent lots of time in cities all over the world, when you have the means and the network, I found none of them held a candle to NYC.


I've tried living in NYC. Wasn't a fan. Too many cars, too much trash all over the place, too hard & expensive to get out of the city on the weekend.

Right now I live in a small New England town, which suits my hobbies and walkability desire pretty well. The biggest con, of course, is the difficulty finding other young folks with similar interests... but I found that tough in NYC, too.

What made NYC "one of the most desirable cities" to you? I suspect you're more interested in night life, museums, theatre, etc. than me. If you're not interested in that stuff (I mostly just want places to hike, bike, run, and good food/craft beer)... NYC's value:cost ratio really falls apart. But I understand that different people have different preferences.

Sidenote: if anyone reads this and knows of a moderate size town that's walkable, bikeable, close to nature (preferably by bike), has good food and beer, low crime, where I don't have to deal with huge volumes of cars on a daily basis... I'd love to hear about it! Right now Fort Collins, CO and Montpelier, VT are high on my list.


This is basically how my company works. We're sort of remote-first in that we have plenty of foreign employees around the world, but we also have a coworking space that people in that city are free to work from. Nobody is forced to work in the office and we have bookable rooms for meetings so nobody is disrupted. It's open plan/hot desks, so I tend to do my coding work from home, but I'm <10 mins from the building so I'll pop in for in person meetings (and the Rocket espresso machine in the kitchen). We also have flexible rules around working abroad eg if you want to visit family and work in another country for a week, that's OK. The tax situation is your problem, but eg I work abroad but I can remote work legally in the UK for 2 weeks a year without affecting my tax liability.


Would you mind sharing the company name? That sounds like a lovely model of employment. After getting used to my own espresso setup at home, I don't think I could work at an office without at least a decent machine (about as first-world a problem as it gets, I know).


Pleasant includes mostly crime free in my opinion, which makes it very hard for the US to attain. Probably ever.


Check out Boston/Brookline, I have a car to go see family / go north for nature but rarely use it!


When I've visited Boston, I found it to be a pretty car-dependent city, both in Cambridge and in the city center. To the point where crossing the street at corners in Cambridge was uncomfortable because cars are parked way way too close to the corner, impeding visibility. Is Brookline significantly different? Personally I wish I could live in a community with no street parking and only essential car traffic, but keep my car in a garage within biking/walking distance for longer trips.


Hush, the city is unaffordable enough already without a surge of VC valley types.


I love my midwest city. It doesn't have a lot of flashy tourist traps, but man the walks are great. I can get to local grocery, hardware and entertainment in a few minutes. Tons of great parks close by and really friendly people all around. Cost of living is so cheap that we can easily afford to travel whenever and wherever we want.


I strongly agree with you. Before the pandemic began I switched jobs from a remote position to an in person position and it was such a positive change for me. And then about 6 months later my company went permanently remote. I mean, yes, there are plenty of points that people have made about open plan being very distracting and stressful, and commutes being long, and so on. But I felt some really strong isolation working from home, and even when I tried working in a coworking space. Yes, I have friends. Yes, I see them regularly, but definitely not every day - I am in my late 30s and it's hard enough finding time when everyone is free. I am married and have a dog. But yet, I miss my commute that took 1.5h each way, because I got some quiet time on the train where I didn't have any obligation to do anything, and a nice walk to and from the train station. I looked forward to my husband picking me up at the train station and my dog excited to see me. I seem to have just as many distractions at home as I did at the office, if not more, because the delineation between work and home isn't as clear, despite having a dedicated office space at home. I sorely miss being able to talk or pair in person on a problem, and I dread having yet another Meet or Tuple call. The strange part is that I've always considered myself to be a strong introvert. But I greatly miss the in person interaction I used to have. I haven't changed jobs because other than the WFH situation I like my job a lot, and besides that, I'm not certain that the same WFO experience even exists anymore. I'm not sure that a WFO setup would be worth a potentially less enjoyable job. So I put up with it.


> But shouldn't we rather work on fixing those things instead of making them bearable by just turning off a camera in a Zoom meeting?

Yeah. Is it going to happen? Doubtful, because it's not necessarily good for business. Most people don't go to a job because they enjoy it, but because their salary outweighs the level of suck at that job. To make things more conventionally pleasant at a job may actually make a person's job suck more overall if it means shifting focus from getting work done to appearing social.

There is definitely something to be missed from the social opportunities at working in a physical office, but the movie Office Space is a classic for a reason. If a sequel was made taking place at a remote company, somehow I don't think it would be nearly as funny. COVID may have pushed remote work along, but said remote work is still a response to even more problematic corporate culture.

> All in all, there is a gnawing feeling in me that Covid made a significant dent on the once fun (Berlin Startup) tech working culture for good. And worse, I suspect there is gonna be more consequences down the road for the tech job market at large that few people seem to see.

I've seen the same thing happen to the Los Angeles tech scene. Absolutely dead. Sure, there's a teeny tiny bit, but trust me, there used to be more going on. This will have consequences because it's much harder to network with random people than it once was.


I don't hate talking to real-life people.

I hate having practically no input on WHICH people I have to associate with. I hate the culture and vibe that proliferates in offices, it's like the worst aspects of a library and a cafeteria all at once. I'm tired of people acting like I have no emotional intelligence just because it's not my job to talk. I hate acting like a potted plant all day and feeling the body pains that come from sitting still and being quiet for an unnatural amount of time.

The office is not real life.


I like working from home for one major reason: my life is more significant than this job for my boss. I get about two hours back from not commuting that I can do whatever with, and I am not paid for commuting either. I can choose what my work environment looks like, be it at home or a buzzy cafe or a silent library or park with birds singing. I can actually take some time during the day to run errands while there is zero traffic, go to the dmv during the week instead of on saturday along with half the city, versus having to get these things done after work in rush hour traffic or burn a weekend day just to catch up on chores and errands. I can multitask in zoom meetings, by doing stuff like folding clothes or working out or just bringing the laptop out to work in my garden. I have also been able to spend a lot more time getting to know my neighbors thanks to all this available time we all have from not commuting and having more flexible schedules. If anything I feel like I am socializing with friends a lot more than if I had to come home late from the office and leave early for the office in the morning. We still have social events with the coworkers in town so I am not missing any interaction from them. I have no desire to ever commute again when I have gained so much thus far by avoiding it.


You can like whatever you want. It's not controverisal - it's personal. People won't necessarily agree on what is good and that's fine.


You are not alone. The move to almost full WFH has decimated my enjoyment of the industry. I just cannot get motivated in a job or even my own business based around Zoom and Slack.

I am sure that the bad economy will drive more back to office, but then we will have to contend with all that a bed economy entails.

I am taking this period as a sabbatical from the industry, but hope it will come back with a better balance when the economy starts to turn upwards.


When I was younger and didn’t have a family to look after: I really enjoyed working at a small (30 person) startup with some folks I had been to university with, and some really amazing programming mentors I wouldn’t have met in a BigCo.

Working late occasionally, or more often just spending time with colleagues I was also friends with after work; and hacking away in close collaboration with them during working hours, taking long lunches and talking through tech problems. It was a really thrilling and enjoyable part of my life!

But everything (even sweet things) comes to an end. The CEO was a sales guy and eventually tech debt languished under the weight of one-off features, and one of my closer mentors took off to start his own startup. I got married and stopped coming in to the office as frequently, eventually I found a new job. Full time remote (though we offsite 4 times a year together).

I’ve been happy the entire time. Working at that small startup was great in the office. Working at this larger and more mature tech company with an incredible fully remote culture has also been great.

As is the answer for so many tech questions: “it depends”.


I enjoy the flexibility to work from home some of the time, but I also find real value in working in the office.

A lot of us work as part of a team. It's nice for a teammate to be able to work anywhere they want, anytime they want, but when I am dependent on work from them to complete mine and they are unavailable that's a problem. For WFH to truly be successful there need to be team agreements about how to handle this. Me being able to just walk up and destroy their flow is no worse than me not being able to proceed if they aren't available.

Some of us (myself included) would like to have some amount of separation between work life and home life. The first few months of COVID confinement felt freeing, but over time I got annoyed that the room I went to to have fun on my computer was my "work" location, and every night when I went to go to bed I walked by "work" and on the weekend, I walked by "work" all the time or used my computer at "work". I, for one, would like this not to be every single day I'm at "work"


> why should they pa[y] a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

I don't know if you're aware, but good devs in Poland, Ukraine or Romania are practically being paid western EU wages by now.

And when it comes to people who are outside EU: There's definitely talented people but experience from my 10y+ of working is that shared cultural understanding is as important. That's why hiring devs from several timezones away doesn't often work, even if they're talented and cheaper.

BTW. On my side, living in France, I doubled my salary by starting to work remotely. Quite likely you can also find better paying jobs than your current one that are full remote. (Now, France outside of Paris is generally severely underpaying, and probably in Berlin wages are higher; but still there are companies paying higher than std Berlin wage on full remote).


There's only one constant in life and that's change.

It's not controversial to have an opinion. If you prefer to work in an office with a lively social atmosphere and your current work environment has changed to the point where that isn't realistic, then what prevents you from finding a new place where that is valued?

You have to find the room or virtual room you want to be in.


>"On the contrary, many are screaming in outrage if asked to come to the office even for a single day a week and threaten to quit."

Because for them it is nothing but useless waste of their time.

>"Have a lot of people realized they don't actually like being among other people, apart from their closest friends and family?"

I like being around friends (not necessarily closest) but on my own terms, when I feel like it and they're in a mood as well. Liking it because you have no option but be there from 9 to 5 - sorry, I have better things to do with my life. I suspect that there are enough people that have the same feeling.

>"horror of commute doesn't make up for the gains of socializing"

Socializing can and is being perfectly achievable outside of the office. If one can't find people to talk to outside of work - it indicates a bigger problem I think. I am not against having coworker friends but in my view it is just an extra, usually I prefer to find people elsewhere.


The company “office” is a left over concept from the factory - industrialized labor in a shared space. The work-from-home benefits to individuals and society far outweigh the work-from-office benefits to individuals and companies. If you need companions to work, then companies could readily support work groups with shared desires.


Let’s also not forget that making everyone work from home was a choice by our employers. It was the pro-business alternative to giving paid time off to people who had family to take care of. It wasn’t easy and we shouldn’t forget it didn’t have to be like that.

After enduring that, if we managed to keep the business alive, we now invite the rest of you to play office wherever you want.


It may be a (over?)reaction to the generally poor working conditions in an office that suddenly do not exist when working at home. No manager passing by and disrupting your focus, no commute nightmare, no open space with distractions all around, no being physically captive when you are out of juice,... At home you are less constrained, and some people will value this freedom higher than the loss of social bond.

I'm in the hybrid camp: most of the time at home, then one or two days at the office to catch up, attend the important meetings/workshops in person, and debate about the new tech du jour. These days at the office feel much more like an offsite than a regular day at work and I look forward to seeing my colleagues. Obviously, the daily productivity takes a hit but I'm certain that the weekly productivity is better than either full remote or full office.


[flagged]


"Please don't fulminate."

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

You did that more than once in this thread. No matter how annoying other people or you feel they are, it's not what the site is for and just makes the threads worse


Why is this an either/or scenario?

Wanting to be around other people is normal. Wanting to work from home is also normal. Wanting to occasionally flip between the two is normal.

Employers can and should enable both.


It seems to be there aren't enough people who want to work in the office to make the office people happy.


The 24/7 office people won't be happy until we're collaborating at hot desks with no headphones 100% of the time. Otherwise they might have to wait to ask a question.


This post and the “parenting” post should join together.

Have a kid, then you’ll be happy you work remotely and won’t miss other people.


I have a kid. They're older now, but working at the office was the only way I could get a solid 8 hours of uninterrupted work done. Plus meeting and talking to other adults about Not Kids is very nice.


what? Hell no. I have kids and working remotely with kids around is impossible. Work / family needs to be separated for me, my mental health greatly depends on it.


Other than the large exception of taking care of small children and the timing of getting them from school, I have heard it is nice for people to have an outlet from home life.


Maybe you should have thought of that before having children? Some people aren't cut out to be parents, and that's OK.


Sorry, what? :D


Could age be a factor?

Once people get older and have families, I feel like they prioritize that over the social aspect of work. So they like remote.

Whereas younger people kind of want to do more socializing at work. So they may prefer going in (and commuting doesn’t feel so bad when you haven’t been doing it for years or decades)


> There may be product managers that ignore the noise-cancelling headphone stop-sign and make you lose your stack of thoughts

You know what is even better than wearing noise-cancelling headphones and not being interrupted? Not having to wear them at all because there simply is no noise nor any source of interruption.


> Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary. But are those really the majority? I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do. Mostly, because it takes so much grit and persistence to get good at it that most people wouldn't succeed unless they see something in it beyond putting food on the table.

This seems to be the take of most people that want to go to the office. It's an insulting take. No wonder I don't want to see your face in the office if that's what you think of people that prefer working from home.

To me it seems like all the things you like about the office that you listed above are things you are supposed to get out of having friends. Have you tried that?


I've been working from home for over 8 years now, and I agree with you. I really miss in person social interaction, and I even miss the 3-6 times a year I used to go into the office before covid. I also shudder at the idea of having a commute again, and having to share a bathroom every day. I really miss the options for lunch in the city, but I don't want to give up the ability to take a nap in my own bed instead of eating. I think we will see companies outsource to other countries, have moderate success, then over-do it. Which will have them bring most of it back in house. I also think we're going to see many people really feel the loneliness of working from home at around 3-4 years of doing it. At least that is when it first started to bother me.


> As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south

Based on my understanding, there aren't a plethora of opportunities to outsource work cheaper than good German devs.

I say this having worked for a German company with some excellent developers. Hiring a good developer from India would actually cost a German company more than hiring one from Germany (even if it's a remote job).

This question is definitely relevant to U.S. workers though, but I think the U.S.-based companies preferring workers in their own time zones prevents cheaper off-shore remote alternatives from being hired en masse.


I personally enjoy WFH - but I also enjoy the self-organized "office day" me and my team hold once a week, to get together with everyone, having coffee together in the morning, and sometimes a beer after work.

I think it's important to keep personally connected to your team - and while I feel that should be possible with WFH as well, it seems like the online tools we use aren't really up for it though. We tried having coffee together using video chat... but there's always friction.

Even on the rare occasion where nobody drops out of the call, has their voice go all robotic, lags horrifically or turns into a mush of compression artifacts - you still just sit in front of a grid of floating faces... there must be ways to improve that!


Just hang on Roblox


I don't depend on work for my social life and never really did. If I want to hang out with people I do so with my close non-work friends, or go to an event or something else. I enjoy the people I work with but I don't aim for them to be my close friends.


Why does the WFH crowd always assume the those who prefer WFO are relying on work for a social life? Does it make them feel better about being anti-social shut-ins?


I merely responded to OP who multiple times said that the WFH crowd are anti-social and people hating. Moreover they asked what they're not understanding about the WFH crowd from a socializing perspective and I responded.


> And finally, I feel no one else is realizing that they are happily hacking away at the amazingly well-paid branch they're sitting on. As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

So, it's because of people like you that we cannot have nice things. You see, a decent company will pay the same salary regardless of location. The only thing that matters: skills.


If you really want companies to just pay for "skills", then unfortunately that's going to mean a considerable drop in the average salary of a developer in the US and Europe. Globally the average salary of a skilled developer is not what folks are making in the valley.


It's like America's racial desegregation in the 1960s. Life of white workers did not become worse since colored workers joined the professional workforce.

I am in the US. Let it drop then, I will adapt by becoming a digital nomad. Maybe I will move to Mexico or Argentina for the better life there. You can buy much more life quality with half the funds.

I already know some Spanish, it's easy to pick up once I live there. If time zone doesn't matter I can also move to Southwestern China or Thailand.

Rise of wages in developing regions will also create much growth that I can invest into.

We cannot have real social democracy if there is still cheap labor on the planet to outsource to. Closing the pay gap will definitely brew global labor movement that will eventually make life better for everyone.


> I am in the US. Let it drop then, I will adapt by becoming a digital nomad. Maybe I will move to Mexico or Argentina for the better life there.

This is the high technology equivalent of what middle class America has been going through for the last couple decades. Imagine telling a machine operator in Ohio, "sure, we're going to lose all the manufacturing jobs to China. You just need to move there and you'll live like a king!" I suppose it sounds great if you're 26 years old and follow #vanlife on Instagram, but for most of us it's a little more complicated than that.


I know a retired American factory worker who did exactly what you said for his manufacturing career -- relocating to Philippines for introducing American machinery and management practices.

He was a line manager in his late 20s(like a mcdonalds store manager, the bottom level salaried position managing dozens of shift employees) before he went to Philippines. Moved with his wife and kids, and later his parents. His father fought WW2 in Philippines so there is some emotional link.

He ended up making millions(USD) from bonus, investments and sidejobs during 1980-1990s. He said it's impossible to make this much without first hand information of what actually happens in overseas manufacturing.

#vanlife? no, he lived in decent homes and apartments since day 1.

and this is just Philippines, to which China industrialized later but reached much higher levels. I am sure your factory worker relocating to China will have more and better opportunities than him.


I hope you know that the salary of a skilled developer in the valley could afford hundred acre palace estates in parts of the US....

Those salaries can afford to come down.


> So [...] we cannot have nice things

Repeat after me. Corporations do not exist to give you nice things. They exist to enhance shareholder value.

Anything that helps with that is "fair game" from the PoV of a corporation, be it offshoring maintainance work or support, laying off folks, establishing HQs in tax havens.


An entire class of corporations has a name -- "lifestyle business" -- where the value to the shareholders (owners, or owner-employees) is the lifestyle it enables rather than some potential IPO pop.

Such things exist, and do employ people who then enjoy those benefits as well.


I did not see coming how I could offend someone this hard with that sentence. I hope it was clear that I was not speaking from my personal opinion but from the perspective (tech-) companies inevitably take.

But then again, what do you think the consensus among developers in high-wage countries is? Do you think most people gladly see their salary drop by double percentage points because "someone else is just as good who gets paid that amount"? If you extrapolate from your thinking, what do you think would happen eventually?


The same thing that happens when Aldi in Germany tried to sell apples for 2 euro each and Lidl sells for 1 euro each.

If the Aldi apple is so good, then people will buy for 2 euros. If the Aldi apple is not so much better, then Aldi will have to lower the price or find something else to sell.

But no one commiserates with Aldi when they have to do that.


What if you businesses can now find those same skills in a cheaper location?

I'm sure they exist, but it would be a rare business that chooses to pay San Francisco, London or even Berlin wages to someone with the same skills in a much cheaper location.


I said "decent" companies. We all know most of the companies out there are not "decent".


The vast, vast majority of companies in the world would not pay massively over market rates to their staff.

To minimise costs and maximise profits (without exploiting anyone of course) is the raison d'etre for a business, and is in no way unethrical.


I don't disagree with you but I think we may have differing definitions of "exploitation."

To generate more value for a company than you receive in wage is to be exploited, in my book, and is subsequently unethical.

The way out of this situation is unclear but to pretend that this is not the case helps neither man nor beast.


In order for employment to be stable over the long-run, the productive employee has to create more value for the employer than they receive. (Employers have all kinds of overheads, unproductive employees, and friction/loss that has to be covered in order for the employer to not run out of money.)

I hope (and work to ensure) that my employer gets an over-unity multiple of value from me and my team’s work. That keeps everyone happy over the long run.


Oh yeah for sure I am not disputing that this is the way that the system works - the whole thing rests on the compromise point between the employer's margin and the employee's wage. Both need each other to some degree and so a compromise is reached which is the market value of labour.

That said, other models of system are available - worker coops and other models of employee-owned business can and do exist. They have their own merits and flaws though - nothing in this world is perfect.


Make it a worker-owned coop; the productive worker still has to create more value than they get paid unless someone else is continually putting money into the coop.


I agree with you in some ways and disagree in others. In yet more ways, I am undecided. However, I am convinced that this is probably not the best setting for a discussion like this that will achieve anything more than raising people's blood pressure - I hope you'll agree with me on that.


I am using the investors’ assets to amplify the value of my work, and they are bearing all the risk for me. It would be unethical not to compensate them.


> most of the companies out there are not "decent"

So you've defeated your own point. If most companies are willing to outsource then the majority of jobs will be outsourced. Maybe you'll be fine if you happen to work for a decent company but this still means the majority of people will be screwed.


Yes, they’ll pay the same. There’s no reason to think for most companies that that “same” will be the current Silicon Valley or even Western Europe rate.


> a decent company will […]

Having worked for a bunch of decent companies in the past, the only consistent pattern I’ve seen is “A decent company will be put out of business by a similar but more-willing-to-cut-corners company”. Thanks, capitalism ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


As a veteran of ten startups and three larger companies, I don't think this is necessarily true. Companies that fail to provide a good work environment often pay a penalty in lost knowledge, hiring/training costs, internal dissension, etc. Continuity and familiarity can bring tangible benefits in addition to just feeling good. It might well be true that the benefits of being decent are outweighed by other factors, but it doesn't mean they're absent or negative.

Also, the portrayal of hiring workers from cheaper locales as an unqualified negative is quite flawed. Bad for the incumbents, perhaps, but good for the new entrants. Many might say that increasing the role of merit vs. accidents of birth in hiring is a good thing. Who's to say that the "decent" company is the one perpetuating global inequity?


I also work in Berlin and are making it a habit to go back to the office more. Yesterday was a specially good day because of some incentives our office was half full again. It was such an awesome change from working away on your own at home with perfect silence to a more buzzing and clicky workspace. I could speak to people about issues directly by simply nudging them and have answers right away (I dislike video calls and calls in general and in our team we generally try to solve problems on our own first). Both is not healthy yes but it was a great experience. Coming from a person that generally dislikes social contacts because these are very hard for me.


> I could speak to people about issues directly by simply nudging them

Who would do such a nasty thing? When in the office I usually do not just enjoy the cubicles scenery and meditate to keyboard clicks. I am in the middle of something and getting to that middle requires some diving and concentration.

Send an email.


People will probably eventually learn to integrate things like video chat, multiplayer 2d environments or AR/VR etc. into a work collaboration system.

It's weird that so many assume that it's either physically in the office yucking it up or just completely disconnected and not using any internet communication tool at all.

Why not suggest something like a Discord server with a voice channel? Or try the new Meta Quest Pro for like a fifteen minute meeting every day. Or any of the various projects related to making remote work more social.

Or set up a weekly real life meeting at a coffee shop. Or playing some game online like Rainbow Six Siege. Or anything.


There’s absolutely nothing that I need less when working than to be surrounded by a bunch of other people. If we know one another and are friendly, it’s worse. If they’re loud, you may as well write off the entire day.


I am 100% with you. I like the office, a LOT. It's important to note that most of the common complaints don't apply to me. My commute is short (on a bus or on foot), the office is open plan but people do their talking in meeting rooms and respect your flow, there's food on site, and I have a young child are home so the office is far less distracting. But more than that I like working with people in the same room - I'm an introvert so it's tiring, yeah, but plenty of things that are inspiring and worthwhile are tiring. Long live the office!


I think what we're discovering is that there is a fundamental difference between some people. One set of terminology might be 'introverts vs extroverts'.

We are operating in a legacy mode of operation where those people were mixed up because it didn't matter - there was only one way of working so the fact that it was worse to some people than others was irrelevant.

I think the 'mixed' mode we're in now is probably a transition phase. Companies will move towards being more one or the other and employees will gravitate to companies whose ethos matches their own.


I'm with you, Sam. I loved going to my office, loved my commute (by bicycle or by train and walking), loved separating home from work life. And now I recognize that is probably gone forever.

My guess is that we are giving up more than we realize by losing the actual human interaction. Same way that being glued to our phones keeps us from interacting with people. Not sure how this ends, but guessing "not well".

I'm 50 years old and my career is very much winding down. And I'm extra-glad about that given what tech work has become.


<<And finally, I feel no one else is realizing that they are happily hacking away at the amazingly well-paid branch they're sitting on.

Kinda? I think it is the nature of the beast. I don't want to deal with mind-numbing, soul crushing data entry silliness. I want to be challenged if only to see if I am good enough to be there. I recently started a new position and as the lowest guy on the totem pole was given the most manual task they had. I just proposed automating it and, uhh, lets say it didn't go as well as I had hoped.

Send it remote ( even though I will admit, I am mildly concerned about my "price" dropping as a result ). Frankly, it would make more sense financially. I genuinely don't understand why it makes fiscal sense for me to do data entry than just about anything else. I can. And I do what is asked of me, but it can be done better.. and this is where a person like me should fit.

My only way to defend this practice is that the manual process is a weird hazing process and they ( team or manager ) want to keep it there for that purpose.

Sorry for the rambling. I think it is coffee time.

edit:

<<I used to love going to the office.

I begrudgingly obliged for a long time knowing that I currently have no leverage to say 'give me remote or I am walking'. I personally envy people, who love socializing and office life. I do like my team. Frankly, I have more in common with every single one of them than any of my previous teams, but that social circle is just not a priority for me and there are no appropriate words in the English vocabulary to describe the pure, unadulterated anger towards anyone having any kinda hand in making me get up early to commute. Younger me would have chided myself saying that I need to play the corporate game, but something changed in me after kids. And the weirdest thing is that when I tell people for any other reason than remote "no, cuz kids", no one questions that.

I hate the office. I understand it serves a purpose. But that purpose no longer serves me.

And this is why we are at a crossroads. Management can bitch and moan, but that is the new reality ( ours made a show of the recent marketwatch article ). Some of us just said "fuck it".


I think your perspective might change once you have kids (forgive me for assuming you don't yet).

That additional hour or two a day that you can spend with your family might end up being worth more to you than the prospects of social life and building a carreer with other like-minded people.

I really agree with the sibling comment about people having different perspectives and priorities. Perhaps you could find what you're missing somewhere else instead of trying to convince your colleagues to come back to the office?


It's a valid assumption and you are absolutely right :D I have a stable circle of friends I see very regularly and several hobbies I follow after work. And here is the thing: I want to have discussion with co-workers and this "involvement" in the tech community, but honestly I want to do it during the third of my day that is already dedicated for work. I love my job, but gosh darn it if 8 hours a day is not enough. I want to spend the rest doing completely different things. That's why the "just go to meetups" argument doesn't cut it for me.


OP, just join or start a work from office-only company. The WFH people can have their companies, and you can have yours.

Sorry, I think most likely your old in-person workplace really is gone for good.


As SWEs, we're generally privileged enough to experience "work as an aesthetic choice", which is to say we can choose the way we want to work from a lot of different companies. This isn't always true though, some parameters dramatically shrink your pool (you want to make > $300k yr total comp, there's maybe a dozen companies like that, for example).

It sounds like you just need to find a company that's a bunch of extroverts who like working together. I get that part of your point is that it seems like a lot of those companies suddenly went remote and introverted, but, I don't think there's a lot to be done about that.

Alternatively, you could look for this kind of camaraderie outside of work, maybe at dev meetups, hackerspaces, or local volunteering.

---

The WFH/WFO debate reminds me a lot of code style debates where the choices are deeply personal and no one choice will make enough people happy to really "win". In these kinds of situations, I think we need to take a step back and let people choose what works for them. In the case of code style debates, that's running your own personally-configured code formatter on your local machine whenever you check something out, and having pre-commit hooks to format it in the "company" style whenever you commit something.

In the WFH/WFO debate, it sounds like the best thing to do is let people find the kind of working environment that works for them. Trying to convince people that your way is objectively best is a losing proposition.


It's very simple: you can still participate in the local startup scene, it has nothing to do with work. At work I work. When I want to talk about tech stuff, I got to tech meetups.


You've got to turn off the conveyor belt flow. Many teams will do this at first and then they'll release in that vacuum and frustrate people with surprise (we should have talked about x). It's possible in office and work from home to work non collaboratively. Team members have to ask questions, in grooming, in stand or slackups to leave that conveyor belt. "how can I help", "will you share your screen as we talk through this", on a code review, "oh this is a different way to do it, but here is how I had imagined it", in a meeting "let's connect as one blocker gets out of the way of the other"

> Grabbing dinner with a few colleagues after a long workshop meeting in the evening

You can still do this! If you're close to any coworkers, leave the bubble of home and go out to eat. (Attendance will tell you how many people really wanted to be there) Alternatively, you can blend this with friends and partners along with coworkers.

> Discussing our team's latest Python problems over a coffee

You can still do this. Even over zoom. And hopefully not just talking about python.

> Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary.

You can try to hire people that are more candid - or just be the shining example of someone eager to listen. (This is also true of all environments)


You're not missing anything. People need and want different things.

I hate commuting. It's wasteful and pointless.

I have many sensitivities that are difficult to manage in a busy environment. Managing them is distracting and cuts down the amount of productive time I can use in a day. When I'm at home or in a small office I get more done and feel less stressed out at the end of the day.

I don't spend as much time and effort making social connections through work as other people do. I'm past the point in my life where I need to make connections and instead prefer to focus on those I have and matter most to me: my children, my partner, my life-long friends and neighbours and my extended family.

Not commuting means I don't have to be exhausted and lose hours of my life each day waiting to get somewhere else.

Not being in an office means I don't have to wear noise-cancelling headphones, feel the stress of sitting under florescent lights, and all of the chaos from all of the scents. I can be in an environment that is conducive to me and feel "normal."

Not being in an office means I can work in my yard, surrounded by my garden, and listen to the birds. I can take a break and read a book with my cat. I can go for a walk to my local cafe and hear the latest gossip from the barista. I can drop my kids off at school in the morning. I don't have to own a gas-powered vehicle. I can just live where I am and not be pressured to be anywhere. That's a very nice thing to have and it has made my life 1000x better.


My experience in Seattle is that the majority of my coworkers have more free time and less stress as a result of WFH. I enjoy going to the office and having a feeling of community, but I'm in the minority, at least at my former employer.

Over time I'm hoping the workforce will redistribute somewhat so that more office folks join the same pro office companies. For myself I'd prefer to join a company that has some office community even if it's a hybrid company.


> I remember thinking after the first few weeks on my entry-level job that this couldn't possible be the horrible "working world" I have seen relatives complain about all their lives.

I really don't think any job in the honeymoon phase is going to be soul crushing like most people that complain are complaining about. It's when you are at that job for years and you are one or more of the following: underpaid, undervalued, understimulated, hostile work politics, no promotion path, no ownership, micromanaging, irresponsible deadlines, herculean deadlines because of mismanagement, underworked, overworked, etc.

pick your poison but it's almost never apparent when you are a few weeks in what is lacking at said job(if any). I do enjoy going into the office but it does also grind on you when you have to commute every day for a substantial part of it, and you have the monotony of it all.

of course not every job is like that but the ones that are exhibit those traits imo.


I want to know as little as possible about the people I work with. Because I have to work with them to make money.

Its a job, not a social club and if I could do anything else I would.


Exactly. I don't know why they are trying to push WFO so bad.


> the horror of commute doesn't make up for the gains of socializing and others that just abhor having to talk to real-life people. Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary. But are those really the majority? I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do. Mostly, because it takes so much grit and persistence to get good at it that most people wouldn't succeed unless they see something in it beyond putting food on the table.

Tech also attracts a disproportionate number of introverts who would rather work by themselves then interact with other people. Have you considered that maybe people want to work from home because it allows them to focus on their work better? That they do love what they do, but the social interaction and noises in the office distract them from that?

> Have I been under some weird form of Stockholm Syndrom where I actually enjoyed something that was pure torture to most?

No, of course not. But just because something is enjoyable to you doesn't mean it isn't torture for someone else.

> Have a lot of people realized they don't actually like being among other people, apart from their closest friends and family?

Yes. There are a lot of people like that. It's called being an introvert. And for many, including myself, it isn't some sudden realization, we have just had to endure going to the office because that is the way the world worked. But the normalization of WFH finally allowed us to work in an environment that is better for us.


I've been working remote for a year and a half now at a company that has never had an office. First off, I will say that I really love remote work. Despite that, I do miss the social interactions that you get with your coworkers.

When your social interaction is limited to time before meetings start, you lose a lot of what you had in an office. I personally have never worked a job where I didn't like at least a few of my coworkers, and I always felt like it made my days a bit more fun when I could stop by Chris's desk to chat before we grab a cup of coffee.

Remote work attempts to emulate that, but a video call can have one real speaker at a time, where a physical room can have multiple side conversations that don't interrupt each other. We've done off sites and those are a blast since I finally get to talk to my coworkers in person, but those are obviously temporary.

All that said, I love remote work. I love that I can move back to my home town with low cost of living and be paid the same as I do working in a higher COL area. I love having no commute, and I love slipping out to do async tasks like laundry.

I feel like the social fix I'm looking for can be answered another way, but I don't know how.


There are actually many startups making software for online shared spaces for remote work with side conversations, etc. Or 3d shared working environments for VR or the desktop. There is also Discord which has text, video and voice chat which is really convenient (like two clicks).

The Meta Quest Pro should be much better for AR/VR meetings. Also it's great for realistic table tennis and Demeo (kind of like D&D).

It's fairly trivial to set up a way for a webrtc video call duo to split off from a group. I assume there is already a startup doing that.

There are also co-working places in most cities now.


Managers have been saying "this" since the early 2000. (I am bascially remote only for more than 14 years of my carreer total).

Don't take it the wrong way: it's you. You are looking for friends.

You dont have to "slave at the digital conveyor belt" you are there to work. You are not there to substitute your private live.

Now what im not saying is that during your 8 work hours your arms and feet should form a rotating disc, but you know -its work-

And further more, ESPECIALLY IN BERLIN, people dont like remote workers too much and i have a list of startups in my linkedin, who would like it very much that i would be there in person.

Most of us are extremely happy that we can work from home that we DO NOT have to endulge the Self centered manager who after working 10 hours straight, would like you to have dinner with them because they are bored(and you agree because of social protocol and future potential maybe promotions).

Remote working is not dodging the commute, that is only really tiny part of it. Remote working is cutting out all the bullshit and focusing, you know, on the work.

While freelancing you go through a lot of clients over the years and would you like to know when we waste the most time? In the onboarding phase where a (middle) manger is checking out if you have actually not fallen on your head as a child.

Finally adressing the "face on the screen that can be replaced" imagery: you can be replaced as a person too. Just because you phsycially hang around somewhere does not mean you are any safer if you do not perform.

There is no gold at the end of your remote working rainbow, because you are actually looking for friends, which naturally works better in person.


For me (I hate working in an office -- it has a very serious negative impact on my mental health) I think you listed the exact reasons I hate it (there are many more):

- "Discussing our team's latest Python problems over a coffee" -- the problems I have to work on at work I am not at all interested in talking about. They are boring.

- "Looking over at their screen and then asking them why they look like they want to beat someone over the head with their keyboard repeatedly." -- I'm sure you are a lovely person, but I would find that very annoying. I am socially anxious and don't like attention being drawn to me in an open office

- "Grabbing dinner with a few colleagues after a long workshop meeting in the evening" -- holy shit, workshop meetings suck. I don't want to be stuck in a tiny, smelly, windowless room with 5 other guys for 3 hours, and then also spend my free evening time with them.

- "Have a lot of people realized they don't actually like being among other people" -- for 8+ hours a day, in an open office with no respite from them? YES!


A few of my friends run a bunch of venture-backed startups.

Some are in-office, some are remote. As far as I can see, all of them seem roughly as happy and roughly as successful.

To be honest, I prefer the office. At my company we all work from the office. So it looks like people self-select into these categories and so it's all for the best.

In-office people work with in-office people. Flexible work people work with flexible work people.


> And finally, I feel no one else is realizing that they are happily hacking away at the amazingly well-paid branch they're sitting on. As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

Any company that thinks this way is a company I don't want to work for because they are incredibly short sighted. Assuming "1 developer" = "1 developer" is so incredibly stupid. Developers (all humans for that matter) are not interchangeable cogs in /any/ industry (and yes, I'm including factory workers). Some jobs might be able to slot in a different person with less disruption but there is always disruption, for a developer this is massive. Even if bean counters think it doesn't matter, reality will slap them upside the head (or more realistically the company since these short sighted thinkers often hop away before the consequences come back to bite them).

Shared language/culture/understanding/rapport is so important that I would hire a "1x" dev over a "2x" dev if I got along better with the "1x" dev. The argument that I'm replaceable by someone in a cheaper country has never held water for me, I've seen first-hand outsourcing fail miserably time after time. The top-tier talent in those "cheaper countries" demands top-tier rates but for businesses who think "1 developer" = "1 developer" will also hire the bottom of the barrel talent then act surprised when productivity falls of a cliff once what was already in the pipeline runs out.


People who think this isn't happening aren't getting "how" it's happening.

BigAnnoyingCo isn't going to lay your whole team off and hire an entire new team in Elbonia.

They're going to not replace "B" or "C" players when they leave, or lay off 1 or 2 people here or there. And they are going to hire 1, 2, 3 "A" Players that happen to live in Elbonia along the way.

Pretty soon your team is completely geographically distributed.. you'll have a bunch of "A" Players that are scattered around the world. At that point it becomes a question does the superior talent level of the players negate any advantage it would have to have a group of employees in one part of the world.


Yeah, but the thing is that “A” players command “A” level salaries, be it Elbonia or not. Because a company that doesn’t have a clear, understandable, and fair salary policy is a major red flag that “A” players won’t work at. Sure, there may be some discount due to lower living expenses in Elbonia, but it would also apply to Richland people willing to move to sunny Mayland, and it won’t be a multiple.


I hate commuting, I don't much care for my coworkers, I'm fairly antisocial in general, and I love hanging out at home. Remote work seems to have solved a number of work-life balance and accessibility problems.

So while I can't quite buy any sunny version of the act of "going to work," I do feel like something is missing. Maybe the miserable aspects were "character-building." The whole thing reminds me of recent high school graduates who are disoriented by the realization that their formerly rich social life was unnatural and enforced.

I think remote work is here to stay and I'm personally glad for it. But perhaps your opinions would sound less "controversial" if you framed what you feel you're missing out on as a mysterious je ne sais quoi of workplace life. I would never say, "Yeah, I miss seeing my coworkers every day," but I probably would say, "Yeah, sometimes I have an odd sense of Stockholm Syndrome for those freaks." And maybe creating a space to talk about that feeling is important.


Working in person with other people is a joy sometimes. I miss the energy of the office. It also sucks other times when you want heads down focus. I think it really does depend on your role and current projects. It also depends on your life situation. I always walked to the office or moved so I had an easy commute. But this doesnt work for everyone either if you have roots in a community for instance.

To me at the end of the day people are optimizing for time and money. If we make offices more convenient and cheaper than working from home people will pick that option. But right now if you move to a cheap city and work from home that is the cheapest option with least commute by far. i hear a lot of chatter from vcs who think startups that work in person have an advantage, but in big companies maybe the calculus is different.

In the end remote work is here to stay, but companies will make the best business decision in the end whether that means seeing better results by paying people more to stay in office or getting outcompeted by companies that hire globally and remotely.


I totally get you and am very confused about all the comments here labeling you as a hardcore WFO nazi. I guess you really hit a sensitive spot here.

I'm always very torn between WFH and WFO because both have immense upsides and downsides and I can't really tell which I'm rooting more for. I also don't want to discuss these because it'll lead to nowhere.

> But are those really the majority? I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do. Mostly, because it takes so much grit and persistence to get good at it that most people wouldn't succeed unless they see something in it beyond putting food on the table.

Just wanted to comment that I somehow feel the same (also a fellow German) if I would've to spend 8 hours a day as a big part of my life with something I don't care about or have some kind of passion I would get depressed and immediately change profession or look for the things I enjoy and try to earn money that way.


Contest matter as I have learnt. I held a similar opinion to yours sometime back. But like most things in life it’s all about trade offs.

My previous role had a hybrid policy WFH 3 days and then from the office. To a large extent it really didn’t matter where you worked, so long as work got done. I however rarely WFH. My office was about a 15 minute walk from my where I lived, that commute was never a challenge for me. I even used different routes sometimes just to walk a bit more. I did enjoy the occasional developer discussions as well, I was almost always in the office.

Fast forward working for new company now and I hated commuting to work. Having to sit through traffic is a complete waste of my time imo. After a few weeks I had renegotiate my schedule with my employer. If WFO becomes a hustle in doesn’t benefit any party.

Getting work done should be more important than being at work. Employers should be able to trust that employees will execute. Also always being at the office wouldn’t save my bum if my employer wants me gone. People should have the peace of mind needed to work.


I agree but meeting your team is really important, not only for you but for the team itself. People tend to care a lot less about the team or the company when they are not on site to socialize with coworkers. It means people may not think twice about getting another job, a remote job is only seen as a source of income, at least that was my case. So in the company's PoV, I would not hire full time people but hybrid seems fine, or at least people who come to the office one full week many times a year.


Perhaps a solution to the problem of people not caring as much about the team and company is not implementing a WFO policy, I wouldn’t be surprised if it works in the opposite direction.

In the current market, employees really want to have a flexible schedule. Keep in mind you’re competing with other companies for these talents. If you’re bent on having people in the office, chances are you might have to hire fresh talents or probably beneath the standards you want. And hope they don’t jump train when they build some experience.

Then again people resign from full remote roles also. It’s really in the control of the employee to continue the contract if they so wish

Just maybe it’s the Employer’s responsibility to ensure employees are productive even when they only care about their task, imo that should be enough if the company knows what they’re about. Also a job is primarily a source of income before anything else.


Many people realized during covid that life has completely different meaning for them than being a cog in some corporation and sitting on their asses whole day, every day, in some soulless office far away, making money for somebody else.

You clearly have no close family, otherwise we wouldn't have this thread at all, simple as that. I've become parent of 2, 1 right before covid, 1 during. It took over my whole world and some (significantly some) more. I used to do tons of adrenaline/adventure sports in the mountains, now I do practically 0. I don't complain, life is about priorities.

Even if I didn't have kids, I wouldn't waste more time in the office than necessary (which is now 2 days/week). I would be enjoying life proper, which definitely doesn't happen in front of screen and on meetings. I've met people like you, but you are truly a tiny minority, most folks do IT for money and the fact they can't do any white collar profession outside it, and money are too good. Stop paying them, 0% will ever come again. Would you?


I think the sentence "I've met people like you" has never not been part of a shitty argument


Well, once you reach certain age you may notice things, people, their issues and everything else keeps repeating with just small variations. Its like playing a game - you have certain paths and choices, but at the end (almost) everything and everybody falls into certain category already shared with similar cases, with similar behavior, side effects and outcomes. Then very few matters will surprise you, and you may notice there are actually just few paths to true, long term life paths to life satisfaction and happiness.

You may reach that age and knowledge too, or not, what do I know.


I don't think your opinion is controversial.

I've been working strictly remotely for 15+ years, and it takes a toll on you. When you couldn't socialise even with your close circle during the pandemic, it really burnt me out.

I do feel like hybrid is the sweet spot, or, at the very least, fully remote with 3-4 actual real-life meetups every year! That's when I enjoyed remote work the most, and if I had a local office to go to with a couple of other friends, that was even sweeter. All of that with the caveat that people do differ, and commute times need to be <15 minutes for them to be bearable (if we are talking hybrid; doesn't matter for 3-4 meetings a year).

I do think you are off on one point:

> why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south?

Assuming you mean "pay" instead of "page", remote IT jobs have seen equalisation of compensation like no other field. This has raised salaries locally as well. I don't know exactly about the countries you refer to (I guess Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia are the ones you hint at), but in Serbia, which has a lower average salary than those countries, I've recently mostly worked for a yearly gross salary around 100k €, which is relatively high even for Germany AFAICT. This has also led to increase in local salaries (because software engineers have an option of working remotely for significantly more if local salaries don't follow suit), where local net monthly salaries of €5k are not unheard of (which is probably like €9k before taxes). "IT professionals" are, on average, paid better than any other profession in Serbia, including managers and financial sector workers.


One of the managers started to really push the come back to the office. He even made some arrangements for our project to have a separate place in the building where only people who work for this particular project can sit. We have about 20 people working for the same client. Sound like a good idea, doesn't it?

Nope. We're all scattered over multiple teams where most of the people in that team are working directly for the client. A client that is stationed in a completely different country. Out of all the people the manager wants to see in the office only one person is someone I directly work with. The rest of the people from my team I will most likely never see in person, since they live abroad.

So, the value proposition for coming to the office is something like:

1) Lose an hour of sleep

2) Waste nearly two hours trying to commute using public transportation OR half of my daily wage by using taxi/Uber to save an hour of commute time

3) Sit in the open space office for 8 hours having no privacy whatsoever and being distracted by people who I do not even work with

4) Do all my work with a team who is stationed in an another country anyway, so I need to constantly use MS Teams or something similar to communicate

5) Spend significantly more on food (can't really cook for myself in the office) or have to go through the mess of packaging my own food (and never really have it as fresh as I want)

If I agree to come to the office on the regular I will do the same stuff I do at home, except I will spend more of my own time and money to do so. And all of that for what, some random conversations over coffee? Spending time with people I am not sure I want to be friends with? Pretending I will collaborate with that one other person more effectively? It makes no sense.

If they want me in the office they better give me a really good reason to do so. Reimbursement of time and money lost commuting would be a good start.


I feel exactly the same. The work I do seem to matter less to me when my whole interaction of my team is online.I used to extract so much personal satisfaction from work and now it's just a little bit. I am locked in this situation, though, because there is no way I am finding in Brazil a WFO job that pays as good as a remote job from a US company.


Its good to not derive all your satisfaction from work and to seek it out from things that are more pertinent to your life, versus your bosses. It will probably make retirement feel more fulfilling instead of empty.


I don't care about my boss, I care about doing things I enjoy with people I like.


I'm looking for a new position and the thing I dread most is the inevitable "how many days will you be in the office?" question. I get more done at home, I actually gasp like my spouse and appreciate the time to have lunch or start dinner while on a meeting, and generally feeling like life matters more than just the company I work for.

I'll admit I miss the camaraderie, but when I look back on places I've worked, how many of those were my actual friends and not just people I've worked with? I look at remote work as a way to acknowledge in my own life what really matters, and it's more the time I have with people I love. Not until the past two years did I really understand the execs who "made it" and then quit to just be a ski bum or open a coffee shop... but being one of the execs who "made it" absolutely makes me just want to quit and be a ski bum or coffee shop.


Sounds like you get your socialization needs met through work. It's a you problem. Join some tech meetups to talk about tech.


> why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south?

Friendly reminder that wages east of Berlin aren't really that bad anymore. Senior engineers in eastern Europe can count on ~€65k annually at current exchange rates.


Give me my own, nice, decently-sized, windowed office, and I will come to work every day. That is the office I have at home. I like going to the office, as long as the office is nice. Many are not nice.


I think a lot of people have genuinely just forgotten what they liked about office-based work.

We returned to the office part-time recently, and the sentiment of ‘I’d forgotten how great it was just seeing everyone in person!’ is often expressed. I’ve certainly felt it.

Would be interested to hear if that’s a common thought amongst folks here who’ve also returned.


It really depends how good your company's office is. Every time I fly in to my company's main office, it's hell. There is quite literally no way to get productive work done until everyone else leaves the office. I found out my junior coworkers had been doing exactly that pre-pandemic.


It sounds exactly like Stockholm Syndrome.

You should try having fun and making friends outside of work. I suppose you can connect with IT people in meetups for example for OSS.

> As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south?

I personally wouldn't want to be paid for being "A German physically present" - I prefer it if my skills are valued at my job. If your job is just showing up in the daily and spewing out some code from a ticket, then maybe you should take perspective on that. I think most of the positions that are like that, are already filled by foreign workers. There is so much more to a developers job than that, and mostly everything can be done remotely with a minimum of effort.


This crap from the WFH crowd is really annoying.

“You should try making friends outside of work!”

I prefer WFO and have plenty of friends outside of work, thank you. Maybe WFH should try being less anti-social with the people they work with.


What I take issue with is failing to distinguish between

1. I am passionate about my work, both the process and the product, I'm an essential contributor, I care about my coworkers personally, and I do everything in my power to help my team succeed.

2. I come into the office every day.

In my opinion, these things just have no connection to each other. The company doesn't need me in the office. My coworkers don't need me in the office. My manager doesn't need me in the office. If any of these people or organizations think they need me in the office, they should explain why. Then I will tell them why they are wrong, because they are wrong. They can fill whatever hole my absence from the office left with other things, and they can do so much more easily than I can waste 2 hours a day commuting that is better spent on my family.


WFH equates to more flexibility and freedom for most WFH proponents. Freedom to choose how to spend hours reclaimed from commute, flexibility regarding when exactly and how to work, depending on what works best for the individual. Freedom to choose where you live. Having the option to move to a place they may find more enjoyable for whatever reason. Move to the countryside, move closer to parents, whatever.

When you suggest having mandated WFO time, no matter how little, you suggest taking away some of their freedom. People tend to not like their freedoms being taken away.

And… Don’t worry about Eastern Europeans taking your job. In a WFH world they don’t have to settle for Berlin salaries.

EDIT: If you’re serious about social cohesion, do cool retreats and events. Having actual adventures make people bond more than water cooler chitchat.


I’m of two minds. I work remotely but miss the benefits of the office.

On one hand, I am getting paid over 2x what local companies would pay me, the convenience and flexibility are wonderful WFH, I get to spend more time with my family, etc.

On the other hand, I miss all the things you listed. Plus I’m an advocate of eXtreme Programming, which means pair programming all the time. Pair programming with people who have very different schedules, time zones, etc is difficult.

So for now I’m working from home and trying to recreate some of the things you’ve listed. I work from a friend’s house regularly. I get lunch with former coworkers once a week. I’m active in our local tech community and we have meetups once a month, local conferences, etc. I work from a coffee shop sometimes just to have a change of scenery. It isn’t perfect, but it’s better for me


This is my experience exactly. I live in an area with a small tech employer base (almost all consultancies or non-tech corporations) and a tradition of worker-hostile compensation and benefits. I'm able to make twice as much working remote, with unlimited PTO (and a culture that makes it work) and other benefits not available from local employers.

Frequent video collaboration with colleagues gets me 75% of the way to replicating the benefits of working in the office, and we also meet in person a few times per year. It's not perfect, but it's preferable to the alternatives. And it's nice to be present and available for my spouse and kids.

I've toyed with the idea of setting up another desk in the room next to my office for friends (or perhaps strangers) to come in and co-work if they want an occasional change of scenery. It is nice to work in the presence of other workers at times, even if they don't work for the same company.


I am in the same boat, and I recognize that my desire for office life requires others to also come into the office. Reading this thread, it seems that the vast majority of people in this industry prefer WFH, and people who prefer WFO may have to choose specific companies or reconsider this industry.


I mostly agree with you. I miss being in the office with my coworkers and I am starting to feel like it is a permanent change for the worse.

I would push back on your implication that "lonesome engineers just need to be forced to socialize" because that is not really the point and there is nothing wrong with have the preference and ability to work remotely.

I also think you are massively under-appreciating the value add of working in a walkable urban environment. I think we would all agree here that no matter how effective your home office setup is, you are essentially in a "bubble" that insulates you from interaction with the world. Leaving that bubble to commute to a slightly larger office-bubble is very different from leaving it for a good city.


With a typical London commute, and typical cost of it, my attitude while looking for a job lately - as I'm leaving my current one by end of the year (see my profile...) -, has been that if you want me in the office it will cost you 25% more.

My current salary accounts for competition from elsewhere. Could it be higher with no remote working? Yes. Might it be an issue for people in junior positions? Possibly.

For me, this is not hacking away at a well-paid branch because I've been in situations where we've had outsourced teams in low paid countries and my employer still opted to pay as much for me - 100% remote - as for a team of five in a lower paid country, and being close enough for the occasional in person meeting also serves as a barrier to outsource more.


Increasing I think there’s a fundamental divide between people who like working from an office and those who prefer remote work.

Instead of anyone trying to meet in the middle, it seems more optimal for companies (or teams/departments) to say, hey, this job position is going to be permanently remote/hybrid/in-person. Remote employees can work from the office if they want, but it won’t be expected. Similarly totally in-person people can work from home occasionally, with exceptions.

There just doesn’t seem to be any point in arguing that people who don’t like remote work should, or vice versa. A lot of these conversations turn into holy wars where people say there’s something inherently wrong with a preference one way or the other, and I don’t see why.


I share your thoughts on some level. Part of it might be just nostalgia as well. My first job was in the office, in 2018 - 2019, I really cherish those times now. Getting to meet and chat with so many cool people. I had some really close co-workers and we used to go to lunch together basically every day.

Of course the commute wasn't always fun, but it was the norm, there was really no notion of remote work at the company and many other companies either.

Every person is different, but so is also every company and every office. If you don't have that close co-workers or never go out after work or go to lunches, and/or the office is super noisy and large and annoying and from a long distance, obviously you would prefer remote work at that point.


>From talking to friends, I feel this is a very controversial opinion to have and I don't really get why.

For a lot of people, certainly in my case, the benefits of remote far outweigh the benefits of in person. At least in the US public transportation is either nonexistent or so bad it's not even worth using which means we have long commutes. Hours a day in some cases so moving to remote work immediately frees up dozens of hours of free time per month. Lots of folks in IT have ASD or something close to it and noisy chaotic offices make it impossible to do focused work.

In any case there are certainly plenty of Companies that are back to fully in person so why not just work for one of those? No one is forcing you to stay remote if you don't want it.


I like going to the office and talk with people but there are a few problems that make me hate it and chose WFH almost 100% of the time:

- the office is almost always in the middle of a larger city, no nature nearby

- the office is almost always an open office space that is depressing as hell

- the office is hard or expensive to go to due to it's central location

- I am not allowed to bring my dog to the office

- the screens at the office has low resolutions and my desk is most likely located in a depressing part of the office and not by a window with a view

- the commute sucks and I have to go up 1,5 hours earlier because that I need to look nice and fresh and I get no reward other than perhaps some colleagues to speak to during my 30 minute lunch break

That's why I chose remote every day and hate going to the modern office.


> others that just abhor having to talk to real-life people

No, buddy, just people like you.

If you really feel your job is slaving at a digital conveyor belt if you can't socialize with coworkers/friends, I just don't know what to say.

No offense, but you kinda sound like an asshole.


I personally like having the option. I've worked for fully remote for most my career even before covid - back when it was "cool" and people would have taken pay cuts to stay remote. I learned early on that fully remote jobs aren't all rainbows and sunshine, there are definite tradeoffs you make, but overall I'd probably rather a fully remote gig than a "You must be in the office 9-5 every day" gig. My ideal situation though is a hybrid one that doesn't force anything; I've found that I miss leaving the house to go to the office for a bit. Maybe it would be a bit different if I didn't have a wife at home that can take care of the dogs while I'm out.


For, as you say, context: next summer makes 25 years that I've been working as a software engineer. I've founded startups, worked at other people's, worked for established publicly and privately held companies, and also several stretches in government. I've never worked at a FAANG, never applied to one, and don't plan to ever do so.

I've never liked working at the office, and the pandemic is not the first time that I've worked remotely for years at a stretch.

I resent the idea that, after working 40 hours a week (when your employer is not pressuring you to work 60, 80, or more, which is a whole other story), I'm supposed to spend the remaining time voluntarily hanging out with my co-workers. After a "long workshop meeting in the evening" (puke and double puke), if you want me to stick around for dinner, you'd better have brought a gun. I do actually hang out with my co-workers--the ones I like. I don't need my work to set my social calendar for me.

"There may be product managers that ignore the noise-cancelling headphone stop-sign", in the sense that there may be water in the ocean. And it's not just PMs, there are plenty of coders who see nothing wrong with looking over at someone's screen and asking why "they want to beat someone over the head with their keyboard repeatedly". Please don't do this. At least not to me. If I'm that mad already the last thing I need is someone interrupting my train of thought.

I wouldn't worry too much about outsourcing. People have been freaking out about it for 20+ years, and there's still plenty of jobs to go around. US programmers don't have a lot of trouble finding work, even as high as salaries for devs are here. (Of course, you can't do completely equal salary comparisons between the US and other countries, because of health insurance).

Finally, on a side note:

> we all like the same exotic progressive metal bands

IDK if this is your idea of "exotic" but in case you hadn't heard, Opeth is playing the Admiralspalast next month.


Sounds to me like your work wasn't just your work, but also your hobby and your social life. I do think you genuinely enjoyed that, probably even living close to what you considered your 'life'. You didn't need to 'invest' anything, you love it and would probably aspire to do it if you had to pay for it ((before you roll your eyes, there are many, many rich kids playing startup with their parents money or trust funds). Been there done that, as ave many in our early years, even though for me it wasn't startups but research, a hunger for knowledge.

But not everybody likes these lifestyle choices. And most people have 'jobs' by necessity, to make 'a living' not just for themselves, but also their family and relatives. Unlike a hobby or play, this involves doing things under constraints they do not like and can't afford to just run away from.

This does not mean they must be obviously any less good or effective at their job. I've had strict 9-5'ers that were 10x'ers, and no-life office rats that loved the place but had near 0 net contribution. I does mean that they consider a significant, if not the most part of their 'life' to be outside of 'work' or 'the office'. That 'life' was always momentously impacted by 'the office' thing, even far beyond the dreaded commute unless you sacrificed your desired living place for 'living near the office'. Anything that otherwise takes a few minutes, taken a delivery, having maintenance done, getting the kids from school and fed, was made impossible by you being physically not near.

Technological roll-outs made remote possible. The pandemic drove widespread adoption. People discovered that 'the office' was no longer a necessary evil you just had to accept. After the pandemic, not just were they not keen to return, but they started to discover that they gained so much more social options thanks to non work time having significantly boosted. (ditching a 2 hour commute does nearly double your daily free time).

So it is very natural for this to be a very sensitive topic for most. If you truly want to work on 'fixing those things instead of making them bearable', compete on a level playing field and create an office people would pay for to work at, not force them through other means.

One last point: Your 'office' will not protect you from being de-localized. Even before tele-work, the offices used to move to the lower wages whenever they could. Your skill differentiation will have to be what saves you.


It really depends on the person. For me, I was already remote before covid. I realized commutes really impacted my performance on the job. When I did work from the office, there were nice snacks and parties and chances to socialize and I do miss that. However, I'm not young anymore and now my life is focused around my family. The benefits of being able to spend more time with my kids at home, and to live further from a big city are worth their weight in gold. If i miss out on a joke or two, or dont go out to thai food with co workers, oh well. I have a lot of friends and social engagements outside of work, the social side of the office isnt necessary.


WFH makes family things so much easier that WFO can't really compete. On top of that the office is noisy, uncomfortable and located at the end of a stressful, expensive commute.

For me one day a week in the office seems like a good balance.


I do understand that it's cheaper to get someone from abroad which is why I do not believe 'fully remote' will last.

Other than that my office experiences are nothing like this. Place feels designed mostly for social control with its open plan offices and daily status meetings. it feels pretty oppressive. It's not fun and I'd rather stay home. What you get instead is people, even those in leading positions, claiming to be sick when they're not. I believe that's appealing and demoralising behavior btw, but it's what happens.

Maybe if people were better than they are then it wouldn't be such a big issue.


I understand your point, I also enjoy a lot interactions with my colleagues ! I am quite surprised to hear that in the Berlin startup scene, home office is becoming the norm. I have been working (and still am) in startups in Lausanne (Switzerland) and home office has been very much reduced since the 'end' of Covid restrictions.

Most companies would allow for a day or 2 per week, but not much more. And I did not hear many complaints about it: my colleagues are also all happy to be here together. It was the same in my previous company.

Maybe it's heavily dependent on your company and I just got lucky (to our terms) where I was.


This debate boils down to personality, life stage, or life choice differences. High in trait extroversion, or living in a crowded roommate situation, or unattached and living close to the office and you’re more likely to want a return to the office. Lower in extroversion/an introvert, or have a nice house in the burbs with a long commute, or have kids etc and you’re more likely to opt to WFH. Every other argument is more or less a rationalization of one of those fundamental and intractable differences which is why this “debate” goes around and around without resolution.


> As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

Working from the office will not protect you from this. Quite the opoosite, having an office makes Germany much more expensive (and therefore more likely to be outsourced). Have you seen how crazy expensive real estate in large German cities are?


Yeah I have told recruiters no way I am moving to places like Munich unless I am getting a big jump at least 15-20% over my current salary. Housing is such an expensive mess in big German cities.


People are different. Some like remote more than office, some other way around.

Having said that, as someone who really enjoyed the startup scene + offices (in Tel Aviv) I now enjoy a lot more my work being remote. I feel I have enough social circles I need to maintain as of now, and I don't need more people to have deep connections with. I can now be effective at my work, while spending the extra time I have with the existing connections (family, close friends) instead of commuting, going to an office which binds me to new social circles which can be awesome, but it means less time for existing ones.


It's not just you, but it's not universal.

On business/project level:

Every project I've been on last 10-15 years had been geographically heterogeneous. I find such projects are working much better and more efficiently now. Instead of 2 classes of citizens, those who are in one of the main offices and those who are in satellite offices, we now all have to put in the effort and system to communicate, and we do. We're all first class citizens and all professionals who get work done and are aware of what's going on and what the process is. I dread going back to the hybrid office and the hated phrase "You guys on the phone won't see this, but we're sketching something on the whiteboard here", or when people ignore process or break stuff because 3 guys in a cubicle decided & did something and left other 100 people behind, etc.

On a personal level:

People come in variety of personalities, stages, circumstances, and preferences. You are not under stockholm syndrome for missing office any more than those who don't miss the office.

Personally, I don't miss the commute; I don't miss the inflexibility of hours; I don't miss the noise and distractions; and as per above, I don't miss the confusion that cliques in office can inadvertently create. I miss seeing some of the co-workers, but guess what - option to see them still remains. I spend a lot of time on video calls and phone, and feel I know and relate to my co-workers, with some of them even becoming friendly.

As for wages, sure... but there's no moral "right" I see to artificially inflate my salary due to made up benefits of being in an expensive office building. Either I bring something tangible to the table that's worth the money, or I don't. As well, I'm not convinced "body in the office" was ever any real benefit of local talent.

So, you're not alone by any stretch; and most executives for whatever reason are gung-ho on return to office. But for the project I'm currently on, I anticipate at least 20% drop in efficiency and effectiveness once that happens, and am planning mitigation strategies for my teams.

My 100 Croatian Lipa :)


I am all for wfh, but now as a part owner of a business which is growing fast enough so most customer facing staff cant keep up, I am considering a hybrid.

The knowledge just does not propagate and all the colab apps in the world will not help if you have 3 shifts. Virtual meetings with cams off or even on, you dont know if the people follow.

I dislike paying for an office but it seems unavoidable.

I dont think half the team is doing nothing , I know for sure, seen the dev commits etc. And if they do something, they do not do it right or efficiently, despite procedures written down to the t and many training.


> if you have 3 shifts

Unless all 3 shifts are occuring at the same time in the same place, which would be 1 shift, you have the exact same problem. Your different shifts are physically seperated and are not even online at the same time as each other - thus knowledge transfer etc must be done with a method that does not involve sitting next to the other person at the same time. Even mroe restrictive than wfo/wfh where workers are working physically seperated at the same time.

As for not working instead of working and not paying attention in meetings - that is a whole different problem (having been at in-person meetings where collegues have fallen asleep - it is by no means exclusive to wfh). Ultimately that is where the overpaid middle managers are meant to be earing their wages.


> the horror of commute

> the noise-cancelling headphone stop-sign

If the larger issues here were fixed maybe more people wouldn't be so dead set on never setting foot into an office.

Rip up most of the zoning laws and keep things dense with a lot of light rail to get people into the office and more people might find the commutes tolerable. Kill off the suburbia 45 minute single occupancy vehicle hell that most cities are build around these days in America.

Stop with the open office plans that for over a decade studies have been showing to do nothing more than increase distraction.


I am one of those that would love to come more to the office - but having kids & living in one of the best quality of life city in a affordable big appartement is not something I will give up. So the only thing I could land is beeing remote with some days a month to meet fave2face. It is clearly not my first choice but an economic balance: Relocate to higher cost area and lower quality of life OR keep flexibility/friends and nice apartment where I live and find a suitable job but remote.

PS: European as well


> I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do. Mostly, because it takes so much grit and persistence to get good at it that most people wouldn't succeed unless they see something in it beyond putting food on the table.

I feel the same way, and also see that lots of people see it as a means to an end and respect that. So if nothing else I feel a little better reading your post and seeing there are other people out there who live for this shit :).


> Now, I am fully aware that there's a low of people for whom the horror of commute doesn't make up for the gains of socializing and others that just abhor having to talk to real-life people. Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary.

There are people who hate commute, and at the same time do care, and "invest themselves beyond what it necessary". It just happens that they don't want to invest themselves in their commute.


I’ve got a life outside of work, working remotely tips the scales in my life’s favor. I can be whoever I wanna be, not just some dude getting bugged by my sandbagging coworker every 5 mins.


When it comes to remote work, WFH, and WFO, and realized that I do like working from an office, just not if it requires living in the Bay Area. It’s way, way too overpriced if you want to own a home here, and the marginally higher Bay Area compensation is washed away once you’re in the market to buy a house.

So my personal preference is (1) WFO for a Bay Area company in a non-Bay Area office to combine good comp and good quality of life, (2) WFH remotely, (3) WFO in the Bay Area, and lastly (4) WFH in the Bay Area.


unless you are rich, living in the bay area with a family is living in constant stress. Bay area is good in your 20's but i've noticed these days a-lot of people move out once they are in their 30's and ready to start a family. Why would i live in a third world slum dwelling for 1.5 million (and probably have to send my kids to private school), and live in a constant state of "if i lose my job, then i'm screwed", when i could make a bay area salary and live in a mid col city. The only advantage in terms of career was maybe working with and seeing your coworkers but most of them never even come in to the office.


Some of us WFH-favoring people do like the aspects of the office you mention, but simply don't think it's worth the incredible expense in time and money. It's a luxury good and not worth the price to a lot of us, the same way I'm sure I would love a $100,000 car but am nonetheless unlikely to ever buy one.

I like the office—well, some offices anyway—quite a bit better but I don't like it to the tune of 200-400 hours per year and thousands to tens of thousands of dollars.


My main gripe with working from the office was:

1. The daily commute, especially commuting with a large amount of people at the same time 2. Having to live in a city I don't want to live in with ridiculous rent 3. Having to be in the office when I don't need to be there and do busywork that was more tiring than real work

I think Hybrid is a decent model for most and very natural. I also think there's more space for satellite offices at major cities and interval-based offsites or informal work trips and syncs.


It seems to me that you indeed realised that majority of the people (in your bubble) have an opposite opinion on this issue than you have, but somehow you still think that they are wrong, and you listed why they are wrong (except the few that you can sympathise with, like parents, caregivers and so on)

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy office work as well, but I realise that I'm not the youngest anymore and the world is changing, and it's not driven by my generation any more. It sucks to be a minority.


The office can be great for socializing, but if you change your social circle every 1-3 years it makes them somewhat shallow or transitory. If they stay with you, given the current trends, they’re anywhere but the office you’re currently sitting in. My closest friends came from uni and have stuck with me. Longest, closest relationships and all that.

And this discussion assumes you live in a tech hub doing tech hub things. Specialize and you start moving to where the jobs are and uprooting to move sux.


> Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary.

I've been WFH for nearly a decade. I invest in myself by keeping my skills sharp working on personal projects and having a social circle that is made up of a wide range of people not just tech enthusiasts. I invest in myself by not making me only what I do for a living.

Do I work just to get paid? Hell yes. If I didn't need money I'd only work on my personal projects.


The number one reason I see is remote work enables the ability to travel and explore. And some prefer async work also. It can't be possible in an in-office work.


As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south?

Outsourcing was happening long before the pandemic. If a company wanted to outsource work to cheaper devs they've been able to for decades. There's nothing about WFH that changes that.


I felt exactly like this in my last remote working job. I was in my 20's and after 5 years of remote working I felt cut off from trends in the industry and had no one to casually talk to and build friendships with (especially when you've moved to the city for work and aren't a native to the area).

Now I'm in my 30's remote working is more of advantageous for my lifestyle (but not my waistline). I do miss the community aspect of the office.


>But are those really the majority?

Short answer: yeah, pretty much.

Or at least a large enough percentage to affect most companies’ retention.

I love remote working, but I also agree with you to some extent. Working in the office is awesome when you are working with genuinely smart and passionate people. It can be fun, very stimulating, and some extremely high quality work can get done.

Unfortunately, the benefits of WFH are just massive and they outweigh that in-person magic for most people.


This is where I'm at.

I loved the idea of allowing more remote work. It seems people on both sides of this debate don't want to admit there's a grey area. There's pros and cons to both. Not to mention, so much disingenuous discussion.

I live (moving ASAP) in Northern Virginia where a drive into DC could be between 30-1hr. That's 2 hrs a day on the road. 2 * 252 = ~500 hrs of just driving. Insanity to me (hence why I'm moving).


I'm completely on board with you. Work is an important social outlet and I have co-workers who share the same sentiment.

I will just add an anecdote that at my company (Google) the office life has returned back to something like normality and I find myself talking with my deskmates, going to lunch, etc quite often. Perhaps the issue is with the company you work for and the answer would be to move to a less-remote friendly company.


As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage

Hasn't this already been going on for years, even before COVID?


On the other hand, down south in South asia, thanks to the remote work boom, the packages being offered to developers have gone to insane levels. Good devs with 5 years of experience are being offered $80k in non equity compensation. We got beat at 3 recent offers because we could only offer $60k usd in non equity compensation.

I'm not sure how long the good days are going to last but I don't have a good feeling about this.


Especially if you are in 'X startup scene', when you are looking for your next position can you not just screen for companies which match your preferences?

People who like being exclusively in-office work for company x, people who want only remote company y, people who like hybrid company z, etc.? I feel like there are a million possible legit reasons to prefer different modes, and now there are more choices available.


I felt the same, I was working for a startup in a startups incubator, and I enjoyed being at the office, with other startups, different projects, sometimes helping each other and weekly after hours meetups. During COVID the whole building was empty and it was sad. Also, at the same time, we started hiring remote employees on another time-zone, all of this started to feel impersonal and dehumanizing, so I left.


Money.

Asking people to work from home was a significant raise for many people. All of the sudden, commute costs vanished, and people often gained another hour or more they could work.

It was also a huge savings for companies that could stop paying rent and other office costs (as mine did).

You want all the employees, and the company, to pay a massive tax so you can socialize and enjoy work more. You shouldn't be surprised there is resistance to this idea.


I don't mind talking to coworkers, or some lunch break discussions, but really hated the commute, and the forced hours(I have problems keeping a fixed schedule, and require at least 8 hours of sleep to function).

Also hated the often pointless meetings/standups where that one coworker who never shuts the hell up rambles on forever and the person in charge doesn't do a damn thing about it.


I think we are on a deadend track debating our values with each other.

Was it hard to find a quiet place to work at home? Yes. Did I eventually after setting up shop in a greenhouse, then at a family members house, then in a camper/rv. It’s possible.

Is in person interaction “good”. Sure. Is it better than the alternative. Nobody has proven that.

Corporations want control, and they are under the control of municipalities which was tax money for meals, coffees, parking tickets, the tailor, public transit, gas etc. I strongly believe that is what is driving talk of coming back. That and commercial real estate interests. Where does all that money go now? We decide, and we want to keep it that way.

Was open office layouts a crap show? Yes. Did it make us feel like our own voices weren’t heard (over others). Yes. We take that back now.

Do we want to waste time on commutes if we have a place in the country that’s comfy and doesn’t expose us to long commute times in subpar conditions, exposure to the flu and loud talkers and interrupt driven people? No.

Does in person help people who haven’t already done a 20 year slog of going into the office. Historically looking back sure maybe. But we evolve to the conditions.

There was zero reason why I couldn’t do my job remotely for the last 20 years. But management had their way.

Now the tables have turned, I’d say adapt, move away from the city, get some elbow room, and relax and enjoy. That’s what the rest of us are doing that approve of WFH.

Adapt, or lose out. Outsourcing isn’t replacing our jobs anytime soon. That’s a red herring.

Productivity is at an all time high, if you include work like balance into the picture.

Enjoy what Covid gifted us, finally the ability to push back on the crappy aspects in office life. Gave us a voice, the ability to make our own life choices. You can go back to the office, but many won’t be there. The world has changed and there is no undo button. Learn to find ways to turn a rainy day to your advantage. For example, I love skiing, so when it rains, it makes me happy. And I can actually pull off skiing on lunch breaks now so hey, my life is so much better without in office work.

Shareholders? Well, looks like they need to account for workers conditions, work life balance, and new measures, that they didn’t have to before.

Sorry, not sorry aboutcha!


I feel this strongly, I used to enjoy being in the office and working with my coworkers and these endless zoom calls suck. Maybe I'm a weirdo, maybe I had a good set up/team, or maybe just macroeconomic despair is hanging over things. Maybe the earlier part of the tech business cycle was just better and we're at the end of it and things seem just generally pessimistic. IDK.


'Why don't all the poor people have more money? I have plenty of money, I just don't understand why there are so many poor people.'

I love going to my office, but frankly most people's jobs suck and their office environment sucks. Or, to put it another way, has no inherent advantage from a pure productivity perspective than a well-stocked home office assuming you are doing office work.


I definitely understand the social aspects of WFO. I do miss it sometimes.

The tipping point for me though is the environmental cost. All those workers shlepping their body to and from work is a tremendous cost to the local and global environment.

I occasionally go into the office. But I regularly have 3-5 meetings with teams in different cities. Going into the office just to take video calls isn’t a great use of time.


You made your job your social life... I was the same when I was younger. That petered off once I had a family. Now 40 years in, my work and social circles barely intersect. Now, I find WFH to be more productive, easier to concentrate, and I have better equipment then I usually have at an office. I've been full time WFH for 20 years, and can't imagine going back...


I’ll say this every time this thread appears - if companies felt they could outsource/offshore their work they would have done it 10-20 years ago and you’d never have had this discussion. They tried. Some worked out, some didn’t and for the latter work came back.

It’s the herding cats problem re talent. What you can do with a “a few good people” can’t be done with a crowd. Read Brooks.


For anyone scratching their head, I suspect "Brooks" == Mythical Man-Month, The: Essays on Software Engineering by Frederick Brooks Jr.


>Have a lot of people realized they don't actually like being among other people,

A lot of people always knew this, but were forced to anyway.


i lived and worked in berlin, and then the bay for ~7 years.

If i still lived in berlin, i'd probably be going into the office. Transit is good, the city is cool/fun, and although its gotten a lot more expensive you can still afford to live in a decent place close to work on an engineers salary.

In SFO bay the equation is different - unless you're already rich (or young and want to share small apartments), you cant afford to live close to work, so commutes are long and terrible. The city isnt as fun after dark. I LIKE the bay, like being in person ,and commuted for years, but the tradeoff isnt worth the commute/lifestyle hit for me now. Upper management/exec are pushing RTO, because guess what, they're already rich enough to avoid the commute/lifestyle issues, so they are a bit blind to the reasons for RTO resistance.

We have offices in other cheaper cities - they have a higher % of voluntary WFO for similar reasons. The SFO office is lowest.


I enjoy WFH, but I do wonder what that does to tech industry compensation over the long term. It's one barrier to companies just shopping the global market. There are other barriers, of course.

But, whatever portion of us is employed by old stodgy companies seems more at risk now that most of them have figured out how to have productive WFH techies.


I'm in Berlin (moved from Seattle). Want to commiserate over beer/coffee? If anybody else wants to join just reply :-)


I'm in the same boat! my twitter handle is my HN name with an underscore in the end.


Moved to Berlin (from Milan) just 2 weeks ago, would gladly join and have nice drink :)


I feel like you, OP. If you want to commiserate over beers, my email is in my profile


Haha, yeah sure! How do we go about and do this?


Would love to join, my email is in my profile :)


I absolutely agree with you.

I would take a _significant_ pay cut to work in an office again. But around here, those jobs effectively don't exist anymore.


I love going in to the office. I willingly go 5 days a week despite the 45 min commute. The reason is I get separation from work and home, I can talk with people, get free lunch, etc. Also, I'm much more productive and in the face of an impending recession, I want to be as productive as possible so that I can keep my job.


> why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen

Because it's about a 3rd of what a San Francisco wage is.


> But shouldn't we rather work on fixing those things

How exactly would you propose that happen? In order for everyone to work on improving office culture, everyone would have to be at the office, right? Would the first step in this process be to force the people for whom the office is a bad place to go back to the office?


I'll start with the second part

> why should they page a German wage

I totally agree. In the U.S there is a lot of discussion about most companies introducing location based remote pay, based on the cost of living in your city. People thing this is ludicrous, and want to be paid SV wages in rural America.

On the other hand, they have no problem paying Indian engineers a fraction. They use a lot random reasons that don't end up making sense. Work hours, ability to vet the engineering quality from so far away.

But then when I ask - If your star amazing Indian H1B engineer wanted to move back closer to his family, and promised to work U.S hours, would you agree to pay them a SV wage? The answer is always no. So I think there is definitely a double standard here, and in the very long term this will change, and wages will balance out to a bit lower than what they were during peak 2021 tech

To the first part. You're completely ignoring people having to commute to the office, wake up an hour or 2 earlier, only see their child ~30 minutes a day, not being able to cook their own lunch or go to the restroom without seeing someones legs right next to yours. Even if people value solving problems face to face, they can also value the above more


Sometimes I get a bit of "abused victim" mentality from a lot of people who don't want to go back to the office. I think it makes sense that the ones who were more popular are more motivated to go back and vice versa. That being said, we all have our strengths and weaknesses.


Does anyone oppose just allowing companies to choose whatever WFO/WFH/hybrid policy they want? If they have a WFO policy and can't recruit, then they adjust or die.

Just seems reasonable that the industry, location, talent pool and local infrastructure are all factors that make it impossible to generalize.


I think OP is commenting on the fact that there is more noise, per person, from the pro-WFH side (see the top rated comments here), which might make you think there is more of a preference for it among tech workers. It makes some sense they'd be louder, though, as they are the ones who feel more threatened, as getting to work in their preferred way is new.


Go find some friends. I don't want to be dragged to the office to be your friend as you otherwise have none.


I recognize what you're saying and I miss that part of office life a bit too.

But not having the commute, and thus having over two hours per day that I can spend on more sleep, more time with my family and more time to work, that's just better.

And not having to deal with a noisy open plan office comes on top of that.


> ...Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary...

Certainly... but why are you conflating that with WFH?

Actually, you're conflating a bunch of things with WFH for some reason. If you sort some of that out you might not be so against it after all.


I'm sure there are plenty of meetup groups that could satisfy your longing for chatting about technical concepts and then getting a good meal together. Why not explore those?

Yes -- it's not the same as doing this with coworkers. But the world has moved on. Acceptance is part of the process.


"why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen"

The endgame will be $$/feature paid.


When the industry went Zoom I left it.

Working from home is pointless, zero intrinsic reward. A video game instead of life.


My perception is that the die hard WFH people have the most to PERSONALLY benefit from WFH, whereas the WFO people are either more focused on the collective outcomes for the company or have a low personal cost to WFO (I.e. have a short commute popping into the office is easy)


It might be an age thing. 20-35 ish might be more fun to be in the office, making friends, etc.

After that people have kids or just might want friends seperate from work.

So what seems great to you might be meh for other people, and then you pile on commute, office noise, no privacy etc.


I think it makes a difference where you live too. I live in a cramped apartment with noisy family and kids, the office gives me much more space and quiet. Other people have big suburban homes with a big dedicated office which is far superior to their work environment.


Personally a mixture of the two suits me best. I appreciate the time by myself, but every now and then I want to go into the office to reconnect with other people. It can also make rubber-ducking more efficient if said duck is sitting next to you.


The practical side of WFH is what gets me – you're right, given that you can work from anywhere, why would a company pay top-city dollar when the same job can be done in a similar timezone by someone else who is still ok, but charges half.


We've collectively decided that the old way is not good enough.

"I am altering the deal. Pray I do not alter it any further."

I'll come to the office if paid X times current wage to make it worthwhile, and the company wasn't willing to pay the premium.


> I feel no one else is realizing that they are happily hacking away at the amazingly well-paid branch they're sitting on.

I won't endure soul-crushing commute everyday out of fear of losing my job to third-world countries. I'll take my chances.


I miss the office. More work got done and less time was spent on stupid shit.

Sadly my company's office is being renovated, so I don't think I can go until next summer earliest, but I will be there as soon as possible.

Remote workers can go and pretend to work elsewhere.


> Remote workers can go and pretend to work elsewhere

Interesting coming from the camp that is both bemoaning the fact that they can’t spend hours of their day socializing at work, as well as the fact that they apparently can’t get work done without others holding their hands.

I suspect that the people claiming more productivity in office aren’t actually all that productive, and what productivity gains they have comes at the expense of the productivity of their coworkers.


I envy your perception. My office days were people coding for 20 minutes, then going to talk about fantasy football for another 40 minutes. Im proud to say I haven't heard any fantasy football discussion since spring of 2020

Meetings took 15 minutes to start because you had to physically look for people around the office and drag them in


People waste the same amount of time as they did before, but now they also run errands, do laundry, wash dishes, take care of kids, clean after their kids and pets and just in general browse more web and watch YouTube than at the office


It's a matter of freedom. You're free to miss the office. You're free to go back to the office. You're free to enjoy the office. I just want to be free to not do any of that.


The problem with RTO is that it is generally a crank that turns one way. Once WFH is gone, it’s gone and there’s no likelihood of getting it back. I’d rather have freedom and be confined indefinitely to a Zoom call than the alternative.


I sympathize with this a bit. I want to occasionally travel to work and have interesting conversations that only working together at a physical location bring. My problem is that there are not a lot of interesting jobs where I am at.


I’m holding out hope that remote work just isn’t fully figured out yet. I think there’s room for a bigger coworking movement for people like us who miss the community. If I had that, I wouldn’t complain about remote work at all


Big Picture:

There are no meaningfully accurate (which is to say, common) thing you can say about what "working in tech" is like. None.

It's so young and always shifting that literally every environment is very different.


Turns out I didn’t like hanging out with my coworkers as much as they thought


You're not alone. The remote work people are just very, very vocal here.


You seem far more sociable than myself or most of my peers!

This discrepancy makes sense but is by no means unusual. I think this line of work both draws introverted people, and encourages it through stress (deadlines, etc)


I feel for you. I loved WFH at first for the first year. Then I noticed how much less I got to socialize and much less fun I was having fun at work in general. Every day felt the exact same.

To my luck my company decided on a more office focused approach now. We only do 1 day a week remote, I don't even take that 1 day usually.

But that's just me. I don't have a wife or kids at home that maybe increase the benefits of working at home. Everyone has their own situation. Currently this is what works for me.

I would just recommend look for companies that encourage working from an office, if you want to work that way. You can't demand your workplace suddenly implements Rust everywhere either, you should probably switch jobs if that is so important to you.

Check my profile and email me if you like ;)


I like tech. I do not like talking to people, commuting, the perception of “you aren’t working unless your butt is in the seat”, having worse computer equipment at work than home, interruptions, etc.


I don't mind working at an office. I do mind getting to the office though. One of my first jobs involved a 1 hour and a half commute, and another one back. Insane I know.


We probably need a balance. Full remote is bunk for most fields because community is only built by showing up. There would be no class rings if everyone had online classes.


I think we are not sure how to work remotely and feel present, yet I have no issue feeling present in online video games.

How do we bring that feeling of presence from video games to remote work?


How about working from a common office with others that enjoy the company? I don't think forcing everyone else to hang out with you in the office is the way to go.


I wish breaking up all teams and reforming them based on who wants to work in the office and who doesn't was happening more. To me that would be the best solution.


I like meeting people, but I hate working in large open spaces along with tens of others. Give me a private office and I might enjoy coming there.


You are not alone. I hugely enjoyed my work at Microsoft years ago for all the same reasons you cite. Except Polyphia didn’t exist back then.


It looks like you have a problem, but your solution is not to make people go back to a damn office just because you cannot handle email/zoom


FWIW I feel for the OP in most of what s/he says.

Luckily there's a lot of hybrid arrangements now where you can have your cake and eat it so to speak.


> I used to love going to the office.

I think if this were true for all of us, we’d all be ready to get back to the office.


Generally the people I've seen who love the office only love it because their home life is complete shit.


Hybrid is the best solution. Best of both worlds: and having to do both makes you appreciate both more.


First, click here, as my comment has a theme song:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pt8VYOfr8To

I think what you are missing is that you’re in Germany.

So many people on this site are working for American companies or American offices. And let me tell you, compared to European office life, it sucks. It sucks so much!

In the McCountry, companies basically abuse you and the employees cry to be abused harder. Endless unpaid overtime, endless weekend crunches, endless peer pressure to not even use the meager time off you are given. Cities sprawled out for 100 km so that all commutes are hellish. A guillotine of health insurance and debt hanging over every neck. A legal environment that puts the company first and the employee last. It’s a hypercapitalist system designed to squeeze every last drop of blood before discarding the burned out husks that were once people. I tell friends in the EU my stories, and they gasp and say, “isn’t that illegal?!” My sweet summer children.

You cannot understand our aversion to the office without having spent some time in the juice press.

Enjoy your average of 28 vacation days and fewest yearly hours worked in the OECD, and please stop rubbing salt in our wound with your delightful office stories;)


That is actually a very fair point!


"now is the time on sprockets when we dance... wait... why am I the only one here?"


WRT to pay. I tend to have a very simple view. Employers will try to pay the lowest wage they can get away with for a given quality standard and employees will demand the highest wage they can get away with.

I think discussions about 'fairness' in the context of location based pay will get eaten alive by mid-term market pressure.


> Many of these things that made my job much more than slaving at a digital conveyor belt seem to be gone these days. And the worst thing for me is that I feel few people relate. On the contrary, many are screaming in outrage if asked to come to the office even for a single day a week and threaten to quit.

It seems like one facet of this might be that you're more extroverted and social in regards to doing your job, whereas others prefer to work in solace or on their own terms (e.g. with a cup of cocoa in their pajamas), something about which I previously wrote: https://blog.kronis.dev/articles/remote-working-and-the-elep...

I won't hide that I very much fall into the latter category: working in person was a worse experience for me, hands down. Now, if I don't feel like talking with someone and having them interrupt me while in the middle of solving some issue, I can just ignore messages for a bit.

If they want to ask some questions, they can just write those down, or share them in a group channel for someone to pick up on what they need and discuss it, in a format that remains searchable in the future. This should also encourage asking questions better and not wasting my (or others') time in calls as much: https://quick-answers.kronis.dev/

I also personally don't always enjoy the culture of the workplace and dissociating myself from some nitpicky code reviewer who loves wasting time on pointless minutea is also better - instead of long winded discussions, I can resolve review threads in one go, leaving comments for when additional discussion is needed, instead of being held hostage in an in person conversation (a bit of an extreme example/wording, I guess).

> Have I been under some weird form of Stockholm Syndrom where I actually enjoyed something that was pure torture to most? Have a lot of people realized they don't actually like being among other people, apart from their closest friends and family?

That said, how you feel is valid. You might have had a healthier workplace than I do, maybe a better attitude, possibly a personality that is better suited for working in person, as well as one that isn't as suitable for working remotely. People's circumstances are different.

> And finally, I feel no one else is realizing that they are happily hacking away at the amazingly well-paid branch they're sitting on. As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

This will probably displace some folks with varying results, however: outsourcing can lead to cheaper labor, but a plummet in code quality. Certain cultures have an expectation to say "Yes, we can do it" regardless of how feasible things are and deliver results, regardless of how bad they are, how insecure the code is, how unmaintainable it is and so on.

Of course, this will also be a net positive for some folks that would otherwise never make more than 2'000-3'000 euros per month after taxes in their own countries to escape being (comparatively) poor just because of where they live.

In situations where remote work isn't embraced, however, such initiatives (and remote working in general) would lead to pretty poor dynamics and having trouble getting things done. Some people incorrectly say that it's a problem with remote work, when in truth they have no idea how to do remote work well (and embrace async): https://about.gitlab.com/company/culture/all-remote/guide/

Throw in the fact that employers want more control over their employees (and sometimes to micromanage them) or perhaps make sure they're not working two jobs, or working on their own projects or whatever, or the employers wanting to underpay their workers with remote work being the scapegoat excuse and you have quite the multi faceted situation to deal with.

Personally, however, I like both the form of work, as well as no longer needing commute - right now I'm in the countryside, so I can get some fresh air, relax and play fetch with my dogs, as well as work in silent and comfortable conditions, instead of some open office.

Work events (e.g. going racing karts, playing laser tag, having a party or a boating event, some BBQ or something like that) are still very much welcome, as is occasionally showing up to office for some event/presentation/workshop.


perhaps OP should contact like-minded individuals in this very thread and start a company together! or maybe create a developer job site for companies that do not offer WFH options!


real talk: you get paid more to work remote. if i collected my faang salary and got to go to the office, i would do that in a heartbeat. no one in my city is paying $300k for an IC


Developer discovers he prefers socialising to programming.


I know this is a very orthogonal comment, but: Have you ever considered writing in a serious context? Like (tech) books or something? Your prose is really great imho.


> I know that "the office" is a bad place for a lot of people. There may be product managers that ignore the noise-cancelling headphone stop-sign and make you lose your stack of thoughts just to ask if the dev app URL is still the same it was yesterday. There can be bad managers and unpleasant situations all around. But shouldn't we rather work on fixing those things instead of making them bearable by just turning off a camera in a Zoom meeting?

Being in an office makes me borderline suicidal. I've been remote since before the pandemic and it seriously improved my life. I can turn off my zoom camera so I can sit back in my chair and listen/respond without the appearance of laziness. I can turn my camera on when I want someone to see my face, for example in an important meeting or a one-on-one. I can choose when and how I work and configure my environment exactly how I want it. I don't have people constantly at my desk, or work-issued hardware that is unacceptable, etc. Most importantly, I don't have to wake up early and commute to my personal version of hell where I am trapped with golden handcuffs. With remote work I can demonstrate my actual value without having to maintain appearances. I can go to the doctor, handle a quick errand, whatever, and as long as my work gets done that's all people can judge me on. It's beautiful. The meritocracy is beautiful. We spend way to many brain-cycles on the concept of appearances when work should be only measured by work.

If it wasn't for remote work I wouldn't be able to make a wage more than what my state offers. If it wasn't for remote work I wouldn't be able to take as many vacations, I wouldn't be able to go to school to pursue my passions, etc. It has actually empowered me to take care of myself first, as I should, in so many ways it really drives home the point that office work is slavery.

> I used to love going to the office. Discussing our team's latest Python problems over a coffee. Looking over at their screen and then asking them why they look like they want to beat someone over the head with their keyboard repeatedly. Guessing people's emotions in a heated Retro from their body language. Grabbing dinner with a few colleagues after a long workshop meeting in the evening and then realizing that, aside from all the differences we might have about static typing in programming languages, we all like the same exotic progressive metal bands.

You are probably generally a person who is energized by being around people. I am not, never have been, and never will be. People, in my opinion, are an unfortunately side effect of having to work in public. That's not to say I am anti-social, but rather introverted, and I prefer to control when and how I engage with people. Moreover, office politics in the "cancel era" made it so I didn't really want to talk to anyone anyway. At the height of this craze I wasn't even sure what non-obvious word would send me to HR. The office sucks, period.

> Many of these things that made my job much more than slaving at a digital conveyor belt seem to be gone these days

You were still a slave.

> I am just wondering if that is really the case for the majority or what it is that I'm missing.

Remote work benefiting people who take care of loved ones is a benefit to those in the relatively rare case of doing that. For most of us, remote work was removing the shackles of management and allowing true merit to shine through. If you can work effectively surrounded by your toys you can work effectively anywhere. Rather than playing politics and dealing with micromanagers I can just work. You can tell that a lot of people believe this because the amount of anti-remote propaganda coming out of major think tank companies is extremely high. If it didn't put the ball into the worker's court the propaganda simply wouldn't be necessary.

> . As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

Remote work didn't change this. This is a misunderstanding of the market. Since before remote work so-called "import labor" formed the backbone of most major companies. It's been 30 years since country-first labor in tech was a thing. Infosys and cognizant have been around for a very long time.

> All in all, there is a gnawing feeling in me that Covid made a significant dent on the once fun (Berlin Startup) tech working culture for good.

There are plenty of ways to meet like-minded people that don't involve having to follow office politics and rules. You aren't looking hard enough if you can't find them.


I'm not introvert but I don't care about WFO. I disconnect myself from work and, boom, I'm at home with my child.


It's really the case.


It is not necessarily being around other people that bothers me, it is the things that goes along with going into an arbitrarily chosen building.

If work starts at 8, I want to be able to sleep until approximately 7:55 and still be on time. I want to make the most use of time that I allot to things as is reasonably possible.

I don't want to feel self-conscious about how I look, what I'm wearing, or how my body or breath might smell - it's not that I don't manage those things, it's that I don't want to have to worry about those things.

I don't want to sit in a place that does not feel like my own. Sure, I can hang up funny cartoons or bring in my own mug or whatever, but if I want a better chair? Gotta get the company to buy it. Want a needlessly fancy desk? Too bad. Wish there was better lighting/less harsh lighting in your work area? Gotta go to facilities - they might do something about it, if they are allowed to do so.

There's also practical things like not having to worry about someone accidentally eating my food, or having to clean up the coffee area because someone else was in a rush, or didn't care.

It also seems like meetings are at least a little bit more purposeful. It's harder to setup meetings online than in person, so it seems like a little bit more thought is put into them, when they do come up. Having everything recorded also helps me refer to it later, if needed.

About the only significant change from working in-person is that I tended to get considerably less work done when I was in-person. I don't know if I would measure higher productivity from WFH as strictly a "good" thing. I think that socialization has its merits too. I always viewed things like birthday parties as a meaningless distraction, but, I also wasn't going to cry about getting paid to eat a small amount of candybread for a few hours. I didn't really enjoy those things, but I could appreciate that others enjoyed it.

I get the desire for comradery, I'm not saying it doesn't serve a purpose, however, I can't help but feel that office comradery is arbitrary and forced. A kind of "You are required to be friends with this person. NOW!" Most of the people I work with are people I would never choose to actively hang out with outside of work - nor would I want to do so. We don't share interests the majority of the time, and that is what I prefer. They are, in large part, a stranger. I do not wish to know more than that they are competent at their job, and do not do things to make my own job harder.

There are people I make a point of seeing in a social setting, and there are people I am required to interact with in a professional setting. I do not think it is appropriate to mix business and friendship. It isn't that I treat work-people like robots, but rather, I have a workplace decorum, and a social decorum. I do not reveal the unprofessional side to professional people, and vice versa. The environment of each calls for different sorts of interaction. I cannot respect a boss who I have seen weeping into a pitcher of beer. The idea of drinking with people I work with is something that I just find incredibly repulsive. Maybe that's not the right word for it, it puts a kind of sickness in my mouth I can't describe; it's like watching pornography with your parents.


>Discussing our team's latest Python problems over a coffee. Looking over at their screen and then asking them why they look like they want to beat someone over the head with their keyboard repeatedly.

Yes. People miss that.

> Guessing people's emotions in a heated Retro from their body language.

Noone misses this shit.

> Grabbing dinner with a few colleagues after a long workshop meeting in the evening and then realizing that, aside from all the differences we might have about static typing in programming languages, we all like the same exotic progressive metal bands.

Miss it.

> On the contrary, many are screaming in outrage if asked to come to the office even for a single day a week and threaten to quit.

Noone gives a shit if you go into the office or not - just like you shouldn't give a shit if they choose to stay home.

> Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary. But are those really the majority?

This has nothing to do with WFH. You mentioning it here almost makes it seem like you think WFHers don't give a shit. I hope that you are not of that opinion, because that's very short sighted and won't make people happy.

> Have I been under some weird form of Stockholm Syndrom where I actually enjoyed something that was pure torture to most? Have a lot of people realized they don't actually like being among other people, apart from their closest friends and family?

No. Most people like positive, in-person social interactions. But people on either side should still fight for choice. It reminds me of access to abortion rights. The team that is fighting for choice here is not saying that either everyone gets an abortion or noone does. Its that each person can choose how they want to work. People need to learn to respect others who make a different choice.

> And finally, I feel no one else is realizing that they are happily hacking away at the amazingly well-paid branch they're sitting on.

Outsourcing has been a thing for decades. People need to be good at their jobs. Don't treat your location as a competitive moat.

> All in all, there is a gnawing feeling in me that Covid made a significant dent on the once fun (Berlin Startup) tech working culture for good. And worse, I suspect there is gonna be more consequences down the road for the tech job market at large that few people seem to see.

Covid is a pandemic. There is also a war going on. The current cycle of cheap debt is coming to a close. These are not fun times.

> I know that "the office" is a bad place for a lot of people. There may be product managers that ignore the noise-cancelling headphone stop-sign and make you lose your stack of thoughts just to ask if the dev app URL is still the same it was yesterday. There can be bad managers and unpleasant situations all around. But shouldn't we rather work on fixing those things instead of making them bearable by just turning off a camera in a Zoom meeting?

The fix is simple: allow people to choose to work from wherever they want.


"Have I been under some weird form of Stockholm Syndrom where I actually enjoyed something that was pure torture to most"

Possibly?

I can't speak for others but I can say:

I find working for money incredibly alienating when I compare it to the many other places in my life where I work because I want a thing in itself.

When I compare the job I have taken to pay my rent to child rearing or the bands I play in, or the pro-bono things done to support organizations, or simple maintenance of my life, the job is profoundly alienating. I'm spending a big chunk of my life and trading it for the most-fungible-of-all-things.

When I was younger, I tried to compensate for that feeling by taking up jobs with which I could identify. I spent years teaching in universities and running recording studios and taking commercial video production gigs. All fun things, none paid well, but the pay was not the problem.

What I found was that no matter how much I tried to make that work, I never really fully could fully get that identification with the work going: I was never a good enough professor or engineer or technician, because there is always that other element of money as motivation.

What is worse, that identification with the work led me to have really bad boundaries with work: isn't a "good" professor researching literally -all the time-? Shouldn't a "good" programmer be constantly honing their skills and playing with code pens and new languages? Shouldn't a "good" small business owner be constantly on the grind and networking?

That is not a very sustainable view of work for me; while there are plenty of people who can do that for long periods of time, I suspect that constantly trying to make our personalities about things that we are essentially only doing for money is not a healthy mode of life.

As I have gotten older, I have found that while I want to have money for all the things that I do care about, that strategy of over-identifying with my job was more of a problem then a solution.

It's okay to say to myself: "I am just doing this for the money, they are getting XYZ and I am getting PQR and that is the end of it". I am not a bad programmer: I make the stuff and fix the stuff and do the tasks. But at the end of my work, I leave it and go play clarinet or trumpet or boulder or hike. Those are all good things, and I am not a good or bad person if I suck... they are simply things that are good to do in themselves.

Once I stopped trying to invest my self-peception into my job, it became much easier to setting appropriate boundaries on the work. I don't really care if I am a good software developer or not, I just care that I can do the tasks people ask me to do.

That leave a lot more time and room and energy to try and be a good parent or musician or caring member of a community.

So, no I think there are more fundamental issues at play than simply specifically bad managers or rude co-workers. I think there is a fundamental structural problem with over-identifying with our work, and in my experience creating greater boundaries (in the form of remote work or in the form of "leaving work at work") is the only long-term tenable solution I've found.


I also used to enjoy coming into the office. That shifted, though, when the company I was working for got bought out twice by two major companies. When it was just the folks from the original startup - we'd grown to about 190 people by the time of the first acquisition - we all pretty much knew each other well, enjoyed working with one another, and were able to focus on the things that not only moved the needle for the company, but that we found interesting. We also had stock and hope that we'd build in enough value to strike it well. That happened in the first buy out, but - as expected - the proceeds from that buy out weren't evenly distributed. Everyone on the team suddenly knew their relative value to the company based on how much they made from the sale, regardless of what they contributed. Some folks straight up quit and moved on to bigger and better, while many of us wound up having to stay with the acquiring company. I joined the company late so saw little to no proceeds from the initial sale, so I watched all this happen as a mostly passive observer. When we got sold - twice - it was like a baseball player being traded in the night to a new team.

What I'm getting at here is that, when you;re working with a team of people who are all committed to the same end, who enjoy working with one another, and who believe they will share in the proceeds, you tend to create a sense of harmony. Working in that office in the way you describe - hours at the desk, quick over the shoulder help sessions, after work drinks and dinners - comes from that sense of camaraderie and common purpose. Take that away, and you wind up with angry people who feel their time and their lives have been exploited for someone else's gain - which is true for every single hierarchically structured company on the planet, which is, like, 90% of them. The sense of camaraderie can hide that feeling of exploitation, providing a false sense of community that is further exploited to make the investors richer. When that veil is lifted, as it was during the pandemic when people were expected to work as normal in the face of existential uncertainty all in the name of supporting the economy instead of caring for people, you;re left with a whole bunch of folks who see the whole system as bunk. That's where we are right now.

I refuse to work full time for another company now that I've realized this. But I am eager to get back to that sense of working with like-minded people for a common cause - that's something I think most of us crave. My answer is to find a way to build a co-operative business that allows all members to share in the proceeds equally and have greater control over their lives while truly working together toward a common goal rather than just making some VCs and their investors richer. I already do something similar with a group of consultant friends, which is cool - we pull each other in on jobs and charge each person's going rate, occasionally pushing each other to charge more since we're terrible at that sort of thing. I want to try and start some kind of co-operative business in my town as well and start to experiment more with this model - a coffee shop or a restaurant, potentially something small at first.

If we own our work and enjoy the full proceeds of that work, we tend to be happy. That is simply not how the corporate world is structured, and I believe that;s the source of so much work unhappiness.


There are so many variables involved that no two people have the same office or remote experience.

One big factor, I believe, is age.

The younger you are, the more your colleagues may also be social partners. You're fresh out of university (or close enough that you remember the lifestyle), and having other people to do things with is a common need. But as you're spending most of your time in an office, the pool of potential partners (even potentially romantic) is essentially the people you work; you see them most days.

Also, when you're younger you tend to have fewer responsibilities. Most of us, once we have kids, find that all of our free time has vanished. And even if you spend 2-3 hours with your kid in the evening, you feel guilty that you're not giving enough time to them. That means you'll accept fewer of the after-work activity offers from your colleagues. That change will also affect the relationship dynamics with you and your colleagues, unless they all happen to be at about the same stage of life (in which case you may have playdates with them and everyone's kids).

And once you get old and your kids are grown, you typically have a million things you'd like to do or get done; so extra time at the office or with colleagues is very low priority.

Another big factor is type of company. Tech-first companies are probably more fun in general than "normal" companies. I would rank the companies in this order of fun-ness based on my personal experience: 1. computer game development shop. 2. wealthy finance company with big tech investment. 3. any gig where you work with other consultants who travel and get huge travel allowances to spend :). 4. all the rest - "typical companies".

In my almost 30 years of work, about half has been remote. Aside from the gamedev shop and the finance shop, the other office experiences were boring or horrible. Recently I got a very good offer from a bank to tech-lead a high profile project. But the second I walked in the door to do the interview, I felt that dread. Yeah the building was shiny, there were lots of glass walls, and I'm sure there was "free coffee". But there were also big open rooms, half height cubes, and a general feeling of The Office. I had to turn it down. And then I had to turn down the much-sweetened followup offer. They were offended, the recruiter was baffled, and I was relieved. I couldn't explain that such an environment made me hate life even before I had spent a full day there.

Location, climate, and commute also are big factors.

A nice 20min bike commute in good weather is lovely (and healthy!). But rainy windy cold weather means either an awful biking experience where you arrive sweaty and wet, or you fight everyone else with your car; or you take public transport and let two metros leave without you because you will not cram yourself in with everyone else who is dodging the weather.

Most people living and working in the US are stuck with cars as the only way to get to work. Years of driving 30-60 minutes each way to and from work, in heavy traffic, very negatively affects most people. You hate every motherfcker on the road with you, and you need half an hour to get over the simmering rage upon arrival. If you live in Texas, you also have to worry about that rdneck in the pickup... does he have a gun? If you take that little opportunity to get over, and it offends him, will he shoot you? Crap like this happens, even if you're driving politely. Many of the people around you are (also) very angry about the situation.

And if you live fairly far from the equator, winters mean very short days. You go into work while it's dark, and you come out of work while it's dark. I'm a happy night owl, but I also do need sunlight. You can't get that sunlight when there's barely any and you're trapped in an office. At least working from home, when that lucky moment of sun occurs, I can drop what I'm doing and go outside.

Freedom is the thing I value most about remote working now. I work from wherever I want, whenever I want (to a degree of course). If I want to dodge the crappy winter and work from an island in southeast Asia, I do. I get a nice breakfast with excellent fresh fruits delivered to me each morning, I sip my coffee on the deck just before the beach and ocean, and I get a massage at lunch if I want. I work a few hours here and there when my mind is ready, and I go enjoy life the rest of the time.

I'm not rich, and I earn a lot less than probably a lot of HN readers... for sure WAY less than the MAANG people. But it's enough to be happy and free and not burn money on overpriced housing and car gas to commute.

All that said, I do get that a lot of people _need_ a good amount of direct social contact more than they need the things I care about. So an office environment is great for people who really need that. But there certainly are those of us who need far less social, or get it outside the office and thus don't need an office.

Lastly, the older I get and the more full my head is with ideas and who knows what else, the more difficult I find to get into the "flow". Being in an office, _if_ I'm fortunate to get into the flow, there's a much greater chance that someone or something will break me out of that flow. But working from home, I especially find that 10pm-2am is my best time. The world around me is quiet, nobody is calling me or walking up to me, and I can do what I do. Put me in an office with a 9-6 schedule and you'll get about 30% productivity. What a waste of my time and your money.


Pretty much spot on post.


It depends on what you have been doing the past two years, especially around the lockdowns. I've used the time to set up an extremely nice home office in our big now-renovated apartment. It is nice here. Any regular office would be a downgrade from that.

Driving to the office in a car is bad for the environment (particulate matter causes allergies and sometimes cancer), it wastes everyone's time and it makes the cities worse. Detach a little from your individual situation and see how weird it was to commute to a far-away city and building and then usually use ssh to log in to servers that are usually not in that building/state in the first place. (And if you use public transportation, you can get coronavirus again for no reason)

>Have I been under some weird form of Stockholm Syndrom where I actually enjoyed something that was pure torture to most?

It's not about it being torture. It's about priorities. How and where you want to spend your days. We are mortal--that's what the past two years made crystal clear. Very mortal.

>And finally, I feel no one else is realizing that they are happily hacking away at the amazingly well-paid branch they're sitting on. As soon as a company's IT department is practically fully remote, why should they page a German wage for someone who is a face on a screen, when they can pay a fraction for that same face broadcasted from a few hundred kilometers further east or south? German is hardly used in business context here anyway and lower-wage countries within ±3 hours timezones abound.

It goes both ways. You can also work for companies for world-competitive rates. I have zero reason to fear someone from an eastern country catching up to my 20 year career and 10 year university education.

You should change your mindset on this unfounded fear of being replaced by a cheaper worker. You are presumably a software engineer. Capable software engineers are one of the most well-paid and sought-after professions in the world; seniors are earning way more than doctors now.

>I know that "the office" is a bad place for a lot of people. There may be product managers that ignore the noise-cancelling headphone stop-sign

Yep.

Also, open-plan offices/buildings which make you unable to focus on anything.

> I absolutely do get that for some people (fresh parents, people living at home to take care of their parents etc.) remote work is a real blessing.

For most senior engineers, remote work is a real blessing.

Also, if you do remote work, make sure that the company actually knows how to do remote work. Lots of companies are learning resistant and of course remote work sucks if they still want you to work synchronously, their video chat sucks or is non-existant, their VPN doesn't work half the time and they leadership suddenly disappeared at the beginning of 2021.


With all due respect, this is mostly my problem with the "work-from-office" (WFO for ease) crowd. Generally, the stance of the WFH crowd is that each individual should get a choice of what makes that individual happy. Very few, if any, of the WFH crowd want mandatated WFH, it would make no sense. But then the WFO crowd often says no, I don't care what makes you happy, because you being in makes me happy. That doesn't seem right. Of course you could argue that if some people work from home, the WFO people arent happy, but thats not because they lacked choice, whereas with the alternative, thats exactly the reason.

I don't want that to come across as aggressive or anything, that just the way I see it, and I think thats why its sometimes met badly. If what makes you happy is a condition in which someone else is unhappy, that person is unlikely to react well.


I'd also add that comments like this:

> Now, I am fully aware that there's a low of people for whom the horror of commute doesn't make up for the gains of socializing and others that just abhor having to talk to real-life people. Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary.

Are remarkably condescending.

Folks opting for a better work-life balance, who might not like to commute, or who prefer to socialize in other settings, "do not care to invest themselves"?

Maybe it's not the OP's opinions that are controversial, but rather the implicit judgment that comes along with it.


Yeah, that also struck bad here..

> work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary

Dude, I am heavily invested into my work, but that doesn't mean I need to care for your social deficits - it can, but these should be mostly orthogonal things.

Social investment is what I realized I really need to decrease at work, lol I still do it too much even virtually ( what is possible ). Too long I have stuck to bad jobs because of colleagues and bonding.. much better to get this into a more "professional relationship", because you know, while your employer tries to meme the "friendly colleague" he never actually gives a shit.. so turns out better for me to make real friendships outside of work ( yeah, even with colleagues) and use my commute time for other social things - but stop "soft-socializing" with colleagues in office for nothing in the end !)


I read "not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary" as in meaning invest themselves into the job - not a general statement about the person. I have friends who are like that - they work their expected hours, but don't do anything extra - they don't expect to get raises nor promotions and they are perfectly fine with that. They put their energy into other things (which they can't live off), but they are by no means miserable, lazy or mismanaging their lives


but where is the connection between investing yourself into your job and going in to the office? That assumes that you can't work hard from home, which I don't believe to be true.


> That assumes that you can't work hard from home, which I don't believe to be true.

Where's the analysis of the job to see if it can really be performed ideally remotely.

Also, "hard" is a straw man. As a boss I want output not effort and part of being near coworkers is to avoid getting stuck and wasting resources.

> where is the connection between investing yourself into your job and going in to the office

If I was your coworker or boss and I showed you that connection for the job in question would you admit it and come in?


> Where's the analysis of the job to see if it can really be performed ideally remotely.

Where's the analysis that says it can't? If you want my ass in the office, shouldn't the burden of proof be on you?


It's not a burden of proof situation because your boss is paying the bill. But, if it was about who claimed what, the employees are the ones making the claim that "remote work is just as productive".


The work is exchanged for the money. If either party has room to demand more it is because the other is in abundant supply.


If it's about the boss's power, they can always just fire people who won't come into the office. If the boss doesn't want to do that, they've got to do the convincing. You either convince people or order them around and live with the morale consequences.


You're being paid so you can't claim to be outraged at being told to work. If your morale issues aren't handled by your salary then you should simply leave. Investigate contracting.

If you need convincing to return the the office you were hired to work in then you probably aren't the type of employee a boss would want to retain.


> Your morale issues aren't handled by your salary then you should simply leave.

If you're a "manager", morale issues on the team are your issues. This is basic, obvious stuff; if the manager isn't comfortable thinking about these things, maybe they should leave their job?

Again, if you don't like the way an employee works, you can order them to change it. If they don't, you can fire them. But you seem to be under the impression that "I'm the boss" is some kind of rational or moral argument and that employees need to feel a certain way about following your orders and realize that you were right all along. "I'm not threatening, I'm just convincing you with the argument that I'm the boss".


> If you're a "manager", morale issues on the team are your issues.

If being told to do things that the company is paying you to do is triggering your morale issues then you probably aren't going to work out at all. If all you wanted was a few dollars more you'd have already asked that in a far simpler way.

When I get a coffee I don't check which one the barista wants to make, I assume they're willing to make anything on the menu because a job is a package deal.

> that employees need to feel a certain way about following your orders and realize that you were right all along

No, and in fact my point is that as your hypothetical boss I and the managers would have decided if we think WFH is working. Given that we already decided I'm not opening it up to you to debate and honestly I wouldn't believe you were arguing openly because you've got a huge motive to stay home and comfy.

The point of an office is to assemble a critical mass and if I'm trying to get everyone in and you aren't willing, you're basically deprecating yourself. As much as I may like you I'm not going to retain you because now I want a different style of work done than you want to do.

> you seem to be under the impression that "I'm the boss" is some kind of rational or moral argument

You're stuck on this idea like you have a right to have things discussed with you and to make everyone hold until you're happy that the situation centers you and you've been well heard. That's silly. You're like a landscaper and if I sell the house with the yard I'm letting you go.

It's not about disrespecting you because it's not about respecting you because it's not about you.


> Given that we already decided I'm not opening it up to you to debate and honestly I wouldn't believe you were arguing openly because you've got a huge motive to stay home and comfy.

So, this is a basic labour rights question: How much say does the employee have in the way the business functions?

Your attitude seems to be "if you don't like management's decisions, you never should've worked there in the first place". It's clear your view is that management runs the business, the workers work, and they should not, and do not, have any meaningful say in the way the business functions.

And if you want to run your company that way, hey, that's your call.

But that's not the only way to run a business. Hell, this attitude is why labour unions were invented.

And given industry-wide labour shortages, I suspect you'll find that labour is a lot more empowered, and many people will opt to flee for another workplace where they have a greater say.

Again, your choice. But with that choice comes consequences.

As an aside, this comment:

> You're being paid so you can't claim to be outraged at being told to work.

Is a pretty strong indication that I'd never ever want to work for you.

Study after study shows that monetary compensation is not, in and of itself, motivating. There are myriad factors that lead someone to stay or leave a workplace, and "being paid" is just one, and not always a particularly big one.


> Hell, this attitude is why labour unions were invented.

Nope. Unions aren't to force bosses to hire a type of labor they don't need. I've got relatives who worked in dangerous jobs that needed unions and this sort of emotional grievance nonsense is literally insulting.

As I said, if I get rid of the house I'll get rid of the landscapers. You're trying to use a union to force me to pay you for unneeded work. If we decide we need an office then we need an office workers. No hate on you but you're saying you choose not to do that role.

Do I need to enter into collective bargaining with the Starbucks staff to convince them my desire for a latte is reasonable? Do they have "enough say" to make me drink an espresso instead?

> How much say does the employee have in the way the business functions?

As much as they have a financial stake in the business. Zero by default. I'll ask you if I want to know what you think but you have no "say" as in the ability to make demands. I pay for your knowledge and therefore advice, it's not your right to make me follow it.

> Study after study shows that monetary compensation is not, in and of itself, motivating.

Sure, and study after study shows that people who need external motivation are indistinguishable from potatoes. I don't expect money to motivate you directly, I expect you to connect the motivation from your life goals to your paycheck to the Monday mornings.

> And given industry-wide labour shortages, I suspect you'll find that labour is a lot more empowered, and many people will opt to flee for another workplace where they have a greater say.

You see, this is why I wouldn't have asked you in the first place because you think that explaining basic economics to me will suddenly convince me to make your cushy work-at-home time a human right. Trust me from my time as a boss and more recently merely as a hiring reviewer, the desire to "have a greater say" has never left the lips of a single productive employee.

If you want to "have a say" then join a poetry circle. I want you to have as much, and only as much, influence as you have sense. It's not about empowering you, it's about using you to make both of us a living.

> Is a pretty strong indication that I'd never ever want to work for you.

Oh no. Employee who refuses to do what is needed is unwilling to take my money.


sending a slack message saying "hey, i'm stuck" is really not that difficult.


> remarkably condescending

I suspect there are two big difference between OP and many of the readers here.

At least for sure, Berlin vs most major US cities is night and day different in terms of commute and enjoyment opportunity. Berlin is a fun city full of things to do, places to eat, and clubs. Plus it's all accessible without a car.

Meanwhile, in the US, it's usually a very different story. Doing something after work often involves a much greater time cost, thereby reducing the likelihood that someone will partake of the opportunity. So office work is more likely just office work with no after-work fun.

Just like most people in the US have no clue what life is like in the big EU cities, most Europeans have no idea how different US life is. I've lived both, and I can say without question that it's easier to have a fun office+after-office experience in a city like Amsterdam or Berlin (or London probably) than Denver, Dallas, or most other big US cities.

OP likely doesn't factor this in and comes to the naive conclusion that it must mean we don't like talking to people.


You may be right, but as a personal anecdote, I totally agree with the sentiment you're responding to. I don't particularly enjoy working from the office and much prefer doing so from home, but I can tolerate it. I like my colleagues and shooting the breeze with them, but they're not my friends.

But boy do I absolutely hate my commute, to the point that it shadows whatever positives there are when working from the office. I live and work in Paris (proper), a "big EU city with plenty of things to do". My commute is less than one hour each way by public transit (and I'm lucky enough that my line is rarely affected by random incidents or strikes). But boy do I hate it with a passion.

It's time that is basically wasted. Yes, I read a bit, but it's much worse than if I took the time to read sitting in my sofa. I also get a bit of exercise, but again, it's much worse than if I went for a stroll at a more convenient time. It's a block of time that is fairly fixed during the day and which is tiring without getting much of anything in return.


Exactly! Over the last 2 years, I've rekindled my love of making music. I hadn't written any new music in over 20 years, and in the last 2 years, I've written something like 20 songs, and spent time archiving and restoring some older tapes I have. Stuff that would have been lost without the extra time. I now spend about 45-60 minutes every night just making music. It doesn't bother my spouse because they see me far more often since I'm working from home. Once I have to go back into the office, that's 60 minutes of my day spent commuting, and 8-9 hours not seeing my spouse. I'm not sure I'll have any time for music anymore. And having that outlet is helping to keep me sane.


Clearly life is better for you and your spouse with you working remotely. So stick to that plan, even if you have to pass up some lucrative onsite offers in the future. Quality of life beats pay!


Preach, I haven't been to Paris since the Covid restrictions started and I feel so much more rested, I added the 2-3 hours commute to my sleep time and you couldn't get me to leave my dead little suburban town for any salary.

I do feel some nostalgia for the in-office days but mostly for the times I was alone, like driving through an industrial zone at 5 A.M and seeing the bright red lights of a biochemical plant, the smell of car exhaust for some reason, seeing someone sitting at their desk by the single lit window of an office tower, getting to work first and getting to turn on the lights and get the coffee ready in a completely empty and silent building among many completely empty and silent buildings.


> 5 A.M and seeing the bright red lights of a biochemical plant, the smell of car exhaust

This gives me visions of Need For Speed: Porsche Unleashed in the industrial zone.

Looking back at my younger self (who regularly drove 190+ kph to work on the freeway), I relish this idea.

But is there more to it? The night-time high speed driving, the office-before-others situation... is that not some unique sense of freedom or power? \

For me there is definitely magic in being a capable human in isolation with power to live and excel, especially when I know there will be other humans appearing later. Even at home remotely, there is a sense of power being in control of myself, my coffee-making, my news reading, and then optionally my meeting attendance...


In the US, I have about a five minute drive to the nearby train station and then I'm something over an hour by train and subway into the city depending upon where I'm going. Aside from not being able to actually walk to the train station, I'm not sure how you improve on that given the distance no matter what country you're in. And having done that commute about 3 days a week for over a year, it was pretty bad even though I wasn't driving.


Your public transport options are not common for most US dwellers. There are 10s of millions of people in the US who don't have access to any real public transport, especially trains.


Yes, I think it probably is uncommonly good for the US--all the hate the MBTA gets notwithstanding. But that's sort of my point. The city has relatively good public transit that is pretty much as convenient to me as is reasonable. And the commute still sucks. (I'm pretty far out but not unreasonably so.)


I think the way to improve that is to somehow lower the cost of housing, such that workers can afford to live close enough to the office to minimize the time cost of commuting.

When I was commuting in the Bay Area, I'd walk half a mile to the local BART station (a walk I rather enjoyed), then I'd spend the next 90 minutes on a bus or train until I arrived at work. If I got to BART after 6am, I'd stand on the train for the first 60 minutes. Then I'd reverse the whole thing on the way home, although I typically got on the train early enough that I could sit the whole ride home. All of that, because that is what I could afford to do. The funny thing is, if I was paid at my hourly equivalent for all of that time spent commuting, I could afford to live closer to the office.

I don't know that I like working from home per se, but I definitely hated that I spent 1-3 hours a day, every day, traveling, when I could be doing something I wanted to do. My ability to have hobbies, or spend meaningful time with my family, is basically blunted by the fact that I can't afford to house my family close to where I work. Its better now that I'm out of the Bay Area, but it's still a problem, and will be a problem, for the foreseeable future.


I agree with you on principle. However, in practice, I don't know how that would work out. In places like Paris, for example, jobs tend to be very concentrated in a few hotspots. This is a nightmare for infrastructure, like you can imagine because everybody wants to get to the same place at the same time.

There were attempts to "distribute" this, but as far as I can tell, they didn't really work out as expected.

I still think that this distribution is the best approach, though, instead of building 200-story buildings around the office towers. And this distribution can take multiple forms, one of which is remote working.


Speaking as someone living in Berlin:

> Berlin is a fun city full of things to do, places to eat, and clubs.

And I already have my friends outside of work to go do these things, or to go to the bar, or check out the restaurant.

> we don't like talking to people.

No, more likely it's just that I don´t want to hang out with you.

Let me explain. Berlin might be a place of diversity, but it's not really heterogeneous. The majority of people that came here for "the tech scene" are hardly interested in integrating. It's been almost 10 years since I moved here and I'm yet to find a company where there is a strong push to get people to speak German or even be involved in any aspect of the local culture.

Everyone will work together and will have no problem sharing the environment when needed, but very few people will actually feel like they want to hang out with their co-workers if they have other people in their circle. What happens at the end of the day is that most people just end up getting close to those who have some degree of affinity. British people will hang out with most British people. The same for Southern Europeans, Eastern Europeans, etc...


I haven't been to Berlin in about 20 years, but my observation is what you are describing could be any urban area in the US too... lots of career transplants who want to keep to themselves, don't really see themselves as locals, may only be there for a few years until they can make their next career move, etc. It's an interesting phenomenon to observe.


It really depends where you live both in Europe and the US. Many people in Europe have long commutes (and even public transportation can be time-consuming). At least some number of people in the US whose companies have city offices choose to live in the city and walk/cycle/take public transit but many do not.

If I were to commute to our city office it's something like 3 hours round trip daily. Even being able to go 95% of the way by train, that's exhausting. (I did it for 18 months half-time with another company. It was not sustainable.) However, I could also--if I chose--live within walking distance and certainly easy public transit distance of our office. I choose not to do so because I like my semi-rural house.

But if I did live a short walk away from our office I would go in semi-regularly. And can certainly understand someone who lives and works in a city wanting to go into an office--especially given they probably live in a relatively small apartment.

>than Denver, Dallas, or most other big US cities.

Dallas yes. Denver has a pretty nice downtown. Boston, Manhattan, even San Francisco. It's a matter of where the office is and where you choose to live.


> especially given they probably live in a relatively small apartment.

Yeah, I can very much sympathize with people... some of my ex-colleagues in fact... who lived in small apartments (and even shared apartments with others) during the COVID forced work from home times. Oh and people with kids, especially small ones...

A lot of people in nice cities intentionally choose cheaper apartments at the expense of space because they expect they won't be home all the time. Suddenly being trapped in your small space could be like a prison sentence.


And add to that the fact that pretty much all the urban things which were pretty much the justification for choosing a small city apartment weren't even available.


I suspect commute/transport is the larger factor among the two you shared. The extracurricular usually comes down to eating and drinking. I'm sure particularly in the mid-west the options are more limited, but in a large enough city there's somewhere to go - it just might not be worth it. You'll still have to commute home in the end, and if you can't just walk to the fun destination from work then that's more time lost.

This all raises an interesting point. I wonder if attitudes towards WFH can be predicated by zoning / city density. Even before COVID was a thing, Japan's reputation for instance is for the expectation of going out drinking with the boss after work.


> WFH can be predicated by zoning / city density

I would add nature as an opposite factor to city density. A lot of magical places exist, but they don't usually have offices and jobs. Remote work enables one to experience them.

Many years ago I had been remote working for a couple of years and then realized that I didn't have to continue living in Dallas with 100+ degree summers and air quality warnings several days each month. I moved to a ski resort area in the Colorado mountains. Even without the time flexibility that I had (which enabled me to snowski on weekdays when the slopes were empty... fresh powder all mine!), the summers were bliss with dozens of mountainbike trails of all degrees of difficulty. Needless to say my physical fitness became the best of my life, without effort (it was "play"!)

That was probably my favorite place to live (and work) in the world, even counting beaches in Phuket, Thailand. The nature options were beyond what most people can imagine. The only reason I left was lack of available remote work when my job ended in 2011. So I moved to Amsterdam for a job and got to experience the oppsite but also awesome lifestyle.

I would suggest remote workers take advantage of their freedom and spend some time in different places. My ski resort location was planned just as a month, but I stayed three years because it was so great. Such a thing just wouldn't have been possible had I been working in an office. One can always go back to a company with an office after exploring the alternatives.


There are magical places, though they seem a tad less magical when they get overcrowded. I see owning a piece of 'magic' as a level of privilege that I don't think we can expect most middle-or-above class workers to indulge in without decimating away the magic, unless the population finally drops.


> decimating away the magic

Therein lies the problem. I have struggled with this, as I've seen places I "discovered" and loved become unlovable because too many others discovered. I know it's selfish of me to want it for myself, pristine, and not want to be overrun with others like me.

Despite this, the world is really large. For example, there are magical places in northern Thailand (minus the snowskiing) where one could setup shop and have spectacular nature, relative seclusion, but still good access to low cost food, housing, healthcare, etc.

What I dislike intensely is when the youtube-influencer crowd shows up. I feel embarrassed to see other westerners trotting around, talking loudly while holding up a camera, and acting as if they are kings on holiday. I know I exaggerate a bit, but I still worry at the impression it gives to local people. I like to be welcomed and appreciated, not viewed as an exploiter.

All that beside the point, I do think that travel benefits everyone. Some measure of care must be taken to "tread lightly", but it can be done, and on budget. And who knows... whether Ecuador or Mexico or Thailand or even rural France (no jab, just light humor to the amphibians :P... it's very lovely there), there are sights and experiences to be discovered and even new human connections to be made.


I agree with your comment 100% but the closing line is ridiculously beside the point. I also really don't get how anyone reads into my post that I want to force everyone to come back to the office all the time. My whole point was that I sometimes feel like I'm the only one missing certain things about working in a co-located manner and, you're absolutely right there, I forgot to factor in some very import background factors like the country you're working from.


The last line of my comment was "OP likely doesn't factor this in and comes to the naive conclusion that it must mean we don't like talking to people".

Your post did say, "others that just abhor having to talk to real-life people". Not me, but others did take that to suggest that many of us were antisocial or incapable of social interaction. I don't take offense because I will easily admit to not being interested in talking to most people. Granted that doesn't mean I don't care about their wellbeing; it just means I don't want to spend my time on conversation which I think offers little to either party for the time and effort.

I didn't comment on whether you want people to come back to the office or not. Some want it desperately, and some (like me) will pass up every job opportunity that has any measurable in-office requirement.

Don't feel alone though -- you are not the only person wanting to come back into the office. About 1/3 of my colleges at my previous gig this year were asking for this. 1/3 of us were thinking, "wtf, hell no, we don't want to come in". And 1/3 were not publicly commenting :). In my experience during the COVID times, it did seem that the people most interested in returning to the office were younger. The older folks were openly joyous of being able to work from home.


> Don't feel alone though -- you are not the only person wanting to come back into the office. About 1/3 of my colleges at my previous gig this year were asking for this. 1/3 of us were thinking, "wtf, hell no, we don't want to come in". And 1/3 were not publicly commenting :).

Random aside, but it's fascinating to me that, when we ran a survey at our company, we had literally the exact same results.

I'm kinda jealous of sociologists and economists, because there's some fascinating research papers that will come out of all of this.


This is my experience. I’m working from home, but the commute is 2.5h round trip, driving. That’s time, money, energy, and risk for tenuous benefits.


There's also the culture shift of even if it is convenient to do after work fun near the office, you can choose your friends, but you can't quite directly choose your coworkers. Not that it is wrong to have friends who are coworkers, but that you don't need your entire social life "defined" by your job.

Socialization and social life are important to people, but "we need to return to offices for our social lives" rings hollow as a message precisely because some people here that as either the message "you must have a social life with your coworkers [for the good of the company]" or the desperate "I don't have a social life outside of work [please send help!]".


After work I want to go home to spend time with my family. Are these after work experiences things were they are going home and getting their family and then meeting up? Or is this one of those singles be non-singles kind of thing?


In my experience it's either a single thing, or both partners have similar situations and are each doing colleague things frequently.

What absolutely does not work is when one of them is home pregnant and the other one is playing games with his buddies most nights at the gamedev shop they work for :). That is why I left a AAA game company. Had I been single, I would still be there. It was nerd paradise.


Not to hop on the train of criticism, but there are plenty of other ways to invest yourself in your career other than being a social butterfly around the coffee pot. Admittedly I'm a bit socially awkward and fully aware of my flaws, but that's part of the reason I enjoy terminal work in the first place. Commits and Slack are about as social as I was in the office, anyway and when I was social, people wished I would keep it to commits and Slack =P


Maybe I have some sort of Office-PTSD or something, but I make it very clear to my coworkers that we can be friendly, but we aren't friends. You don't need my cellphone number, we don't need to go grab drinks after work, etc..

I've just noticed that if you turn your back for a second, then out come the wolves.

Less coffee pot talk the better as far as I am concerned. I have my friends and life outside of work, and I like to keep them separate. As the saying goes, "you don't shit where you eat."


I have friends who are not in my profession. But I have very few friends in my profession who are not my coworkers. There is definitely social bonding to be done with people who deal with the same work you do 40 hours a week, who understand your work life in a way that others don't.

Less coffee pot talk means work sucks. It means you don't learn about other roles in your organization. It means not breaking down communication barriers between people and departments. It means people know less about each other and each other's work. It means less empathy and sympathy around common struggles.

Nowhere is anyone saying "your only friends must be work friends". But if you are unable or uninterested in establishing any connection with the people around whom you work day in and day out, IMO, that's abnormal.


That doesn't sound healthy.

Im no social butterfly, and understand initial boundaries are important, however stone walling everyone at work makes for a miserable work place for your colleagues, and for yourself (due to all interactions being ultimately pointless beyond strictly business).


Well, for one, once we part ways, I usually befriend them. Just not while we are working together. I am super friendly and outgoing, and will talk to them an all, but I keep a lot of my life private for good reason. I do not like to give people enough rope to hang me with.

I'm not perfect, and it's not like I haven't ever broken my own rule, but I think I have been burned all but one time. I've seen how good of "friends" coworkers are when things like promotions, salary increases, etc. are on the line.

Like the group of philosophers, Wu-tang Clan, once said, "protect ya neck, kid"


Yup. So much this. I'm friendly with folks at work. I'm not friends with people at work.

Maybe some people truly are but I suspect most people who think their coworkers are friends are pretending like that friendship wont go away rapidly when one of them no longer works for the company.

So much of OPs post is trying to get from coworkers what many get from friends.


Some of the best friends and mentors I've made in life have been through my career. I still talk to friends from jobs that I left over a decade ago.

That's bizarre to me to have an explicit attitude of not befriending colleagues. It's never been something I've specifically sought out, it's always organically come to be -- but it's not something I would actively work against. I don't understand the benefit to that mindset.


Yeah I don't get it at all. It seems like some people are operating with an axiom that work is fundamentally and unavoidably awful, and therefore you should avoid doing anything that might seem to make it more pleasant, because then you might trick yourself into spending more time than you otherwise would, which by assumption is a mistake.


I don't inherently disagree, but "if you turn your back for a second, then out come the wolves" sounds like a sign of a toxic culture


> but I make it very clear to my coworkers that we can be friendly, but we aren't friends

??????


Tell me about your kids, your weekend, etc. and I will listen. We can grab lunch even. But we aren't hanging out after work, going to bars, coming over to my house, I don't want to go to theirs, etc.


:(


Ok, fine. We can hang out, but no one else.


:)


The most relatable comment I’ve read so far


To give an alternative opinion, as someone who has come to see a commute as a complete waste of my time, and also as someone who has spent a long time contemplating the nature of my relationship to work in general, I did not feel condescended by the that post.

I saw each those descriptors separately, able to appeal to those they resonated with. And honestly, the characterization of "working to get paid and not investing beyond what is necessary" is not a deprecation of me, my attitude, or the balance I've struck.

I can understand if that specific sentiment does not resonate with you, but for me, I've come to feel accepting and happy with the ideas that: my work is purely in exchange for money, it is not my identity, and that once I've put my part in, I want to use my time and energy towards the other things that make me happy.

I'm not saying I don't get great joy and satisfaction out of my hard work and coworker relationships, I really do. For me, that comes with: "This is my task, and when I've satisfied it, that's all I'm interested in doing". However what really brought peace to my mind was incorporating: "And that's OK." into my outlook. "I do not care to invest myself beyond that" is not a characterization I feel the need to be ashamed of. Perhaps it's hubris on my part, but I'm proud of the push back that I feel entitled to give, and I'm proud to say "this is the limit of my investment in work".


I don't think it's fair to chastise the author about this.

His entire question was basically, "Am I looking at this situation differently than most people?".

We couldn't really answer his question without knowing his true feelings.


Thanks! And for what it's worth, I don't feel chastised that much. From personal experience of talking to a lot of friends about this, I knew where this was headed :D


I worked out that for me, even accounting for energy bills and such, working from home full time would be equivalent to a 15% pay rise. And on top of that, I'd have 2 hours of extra free time every day. I can't understand the kind of person who wouldn't want that.


There are always tradeoffs. You could make a lot more money, but in return you'd have added risk and probably have to do things that you think are "evil". If I said, "I can't understand the kind of person who doesn't want to make more money" that completely ignores the tradeoffs.

Likewise, work-from-office people get something out of that experience that is more valuable to them than 2 more hours per day of free time. It varies from person to person.


Totally.. and if you really miss the socializing in the office because of being young and alone, or fresh in a city (only reason why I could understand that): find a nice coworking space nearby and you can have most of the things the author seems to miss?


Socializing with your colleagues has nothing to do with socializing with random people who happen to work in the same space. Work is part of many people's identity, they take pride in their work and enjoy discussing and improving it. It is also not part of many other people's identities. Both are perfectly valid approaches to life.


Is that just from commuting? For me the cost is 50-100€ per month depending on the cost of the public transport ticket, and that I can deduct from taxes anyway. Plus a couple of extra lunches I would buy with WFO. So basically negligible.


Here’s an example of train commuter fares in the Bay Area: https://www.caltrain.com/fares. Travel from San Mateo to San Francisco (3 zones, around 20 miles) is $200/month. That’s the discounted fare for a ticket. It doesn’t cover parking or travel to/from the train. If you need transportation to/from the train it can add another $50-$100 per month for fares, or more for parking fees and gas consumption for drivers.

And BART (a different rail system) is even more expensive.

That’s not negligible: that’s almost three hours of work for me to cover the cost (pre-tax). And I’m fairly well paid. Most engineers aren’t paid half as well. It’s a much bigger hit for them.


I assume that's just a bus/subway pass? At least where I live, parking at the train station, a monthly train pass, plus a monthly transit pass would be something like $500 or $600 dollars. To say nothing of taking almost 90 minutes door to door.


Yes that's the scale for monthly public transport ticket price in large number of continental European cities. I don't own a car so I may be out of touch with those expenses, 15% just sounded to me like a lot.

The time value is of course then on top, but the parent accounted for that separately.


A monthly bus/subway pass in the local large city is in that range as well--about $90. But, as in the Bay Area example, that starts going up quite a bit if you take rail that goes beyond the bus/subway system.

In Boston, if you don't have a car you almost certainly wouldn't be taking commuter rail with fairly few exceptions.


Do you value your time at $0?


The parent wrote "on top of that, [..] 2 hours of extra free time". So they didn't include time valuation to the 15%.


I think you are reading three different reasons and you are mentally adding “do not care to invest” to all three. That is not what the OP said.


Here’s a direct quote:

Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary.

(I added the italics for emphasis.)


I am such a person. He is not wrong. If it's not applicable to you then don't take it personally.


Aren't you just emphasizing one of the three scenarios? It doesn't seem to contradict the statement you are responding to.


The phrase makes it clear that these are different people than the ones who can't stand the commute etc. And yes, there are people who work only to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary. What exactly is wrong with that, or why do you think the OP implies there is something wrong with that?


> And yes, there are people who work only to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary.

And what does that have to do with preferring to work from home?

It's almost comical the implication that those same people, pre-COVID, weren't going to the office and phoning it in.

IMO the two topics--being... I dunno... not ambitious, and working from home--are entirely orthogonal concepts. And the implication that people who advocate for wfh options are more likely to "not care to invest themselves" is, charitably, misguided.

If anything, wfh makes it possible for more people to achieve their professional goals since the labour market has opened up significantly for folks in other geographies, or who might have restrictions in their personal life (e.g. being a caregiver, having disability, etc) that make commuting a significant barrier.

> What exactly is wrong with that, or why do you think the OP implies there is something wrong with that?

Because the OP goes on to say:

I always saw tech as the field where a disproportionally large amount of people truly love what they do. Mostly, because it takes so much grit and persistence to get good at it that most people wouldn't succeed unless they see something in it beyond putting food on the table.

It's clear they view "grit" and "persistence" as virtues, and "not [caring] to invest themselves beyond what is necessary" as a vice.

Frankly, this smells pretty strongly of hustle culture, and I've had more than enough of that.


I work a 4 day work week and am complaining about this BECAUSE I care about the fun and meaning these 32 hours / week have, not because I want to work more or define myself through work achievements.

And again, I wouldn't want to force anyone to come to the office. I am merely asking for other people's opinions.


Hey, the OP! Great, I can just straight up ask you: given that, would you agree with the statement that preferring a WFH arrangement and being ambitious/"invested"/whatever are largely orthogonal to one another?

I ask because, right here, you're tying "[caring] about the fun and meaning [of your work hours]" to working in an office. And I honestly just don't see the connection.

Can you say more about that?


No, I absolutely don't and I feel that's the main point where people take offense in what I said.

My question goes more in the direction of: For me personally, the communal and social aspect of occasionally sitting in the same room with the team I'm building software with has always given me a lot. And I have experienced recently that loads of people will not even take a 20 minute commute once a week to have some few meetings face-to-face because they apparently don't even see the slightest addition in value from that. I can't really wrap my head around it (because I obviously have an orthogonal viewpoint here) and was trying to get more insight into this way of thinking.


Ah, that's probably pretty simple: Other folks don't see the same value in sitting in the same room with the team. It's really no deeper than that.

Look, I'm a pretty extroverted, social guy, and as a senior manager, the vast majority of the problems I need to solve involve high bandwidth, 1:1 communication because the problems I solve are people problems first and foremost.

So obviously, for me, in my role, face-to-face interactions have a ton of value!

But I absolutely recognize that a lot of other roles are not the same.

When I look back at my days as a developer, I spent a lot of time in the same room with people! And 80% of that time, our headphones were on and we were banging away coding while interacting digitally. Sure, we'd often pop those headphones off to have those high-bandwidth problem solving conversations, but the vast majority of time those conversations were 1:1 discussions, and could have easily been had over virtual meeting tools like Zoom or Teams.

That's the reality for a lot of individual contributors.

Just because you can't wrap your head around that, doesn't mean that experience is invalid.


> And what does that have to do with preferring to work from home?

Wasn't it saying that such people likely prefer WFH, (and not the converse) ?

> It's almost comical the implication that

I don't think that implication is in the original text.


Further we're seeing the lowest rate ever of unemployment among the disabled [1] (42.5M Americans). I guess OP views them as

> people for whom the horror of commute doesn't make up for the gains of socializing and others that just abhor having to talk to real-life people. Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary.

[1]: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-10-03/disabled-...


That's a pretty uncharitable take.


> Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary.

And then are people who are fully invested, but also aware that a lot of time in office is spend on ... other people trying to get socialization. Cause they don't build relationships outside of work, but still need to talk to people, so they drag meetings and discussions forever.

And that is not being invested more, but it is awful common. WFH greatly minimizes that. In return you get spend more time with actual friends/family.


The unfortunate fact is that at least in the US, even if you live in a "walkable", "transit oriented" city, there is no way to run a business that's community oriented. Which means that the only actual community available is your work community.

How are you supposed to "build relationships outside of work" in that environment?

I get that your opinion of this is that it's degenerate, and this may be true - but have some sympathy for folks whose regular, non covid experience even when they can walk to all the urban amenities is "I can't make friends because I would have to break into a group, which means an activity that isn't focused on transactional gain, which isn't allowed in the city due to a combination of taxes, rental prices, and most of the city preferring to drink alone and out voting me"


> there is no way to run a business that's community oriented. Which means that the only actual community available is your work community.

Actual community does not requires a business. Building relationships does not require business either.

I did not said it is degenerate. But it is dishonest when what I described is framed as somehow being more performing, because of spending more time in workplace slowing down effectivity of it. Also, It is possible to create relationships in workplace and then keep those as you move to other workplaces - assuming people are willing to socialize outside of workplace. It is possible for communities to form around blocks, parks or hobbies.


Actually it does, or religion. I'm assuming you're not a fan of evangelicals?

That seems like a barb, but the fact is that it's quite difficult to maintain community organizations without a central business or religious organization. However, profit maximization and digital first precludes physical community, where you have the people you have. Everyone can opt out and play WoW instead.


I genuinely think that believe stuff is impossible without being centered over business is odd and possibly one of reasons of loneliness. Businesses are good for economy, but they designed for profit making and effectivity. Community building is opposite.

And also, no I am not much fun of evangelicals nor conservative Catholics for that matter. Too much authoritarian control, too much hate and too much of paranoia. (And yes, I grew up in christian environment).


> How are you supposed to "build relationships outside of work" in that environment?

Do the things you enjoy: run, bike, ski, live music, drinking, church - whatever floats your boat. Other people do them too. Meet them. Be friends.


> How are you supposed to "build relationships outside of work" in that environment?

What have you tried so far?


Agree. It speaks to some bias the OP has towards WFH-preferring people.

I live in a major metro area close to the city center. I worked in a hybrid WFH environment prior to March of 2020 when COVID-19 started freaking people here out. I've now been fully remote 100% for a number of years, and I work with a firm based in another distant US state (with no local office). Do I miss friendly banter with some previous coworkers whom I liked on a personal level? Yes. Do I miss it enough to want to go back to an arrangement where I was expected to be in-office 2-3 days a week. Absolutely not.

For me the benefits in productivity and convenience while working from home outweigh the camaraderie or team lunches or whatever. I still lunch with some of my former coworkers semi-regularly. We pick a place fairly central and those who can show up do. Does this mean that I'm a socially inept miscreant? I think not. It just means that I prefer working in an environment that is maximally comfortable and of my own choosing.

To drive my point home allow me to make a statement: I will never again accept any position that requires me in the office full-time or really any more than a single day per week at most. I just do not have to. I don't tend to target working for <impressive-brand-name-company>, so I have plenty of choices to work with lesser-known companies whom are (very) happy to find someone competent to help them build out their tech stacks. I've found that those lesser-known companies are much less likely to push hardball WFO tactics. If they do...then I simply start answering my unsolicited emails. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Good luck to you, OP. I hope you find happiness out there.


There are also different kinds of jobs at different companies. Some jobs are basically "wait around until something explodes, and then all hands on deck" - the IT equivalent of firemen, for example.

Those jobs certainly have a fun "club" aspect when hanging around the firehouse waiting for disaster to strike; and that aspect is gone when everyone's working from home doing whatever.


This is an excellent analogy. I've been struggling to understand why I feel like I'm one of the minority that (like OP) isn't really in love with WFH. You just described my motivation in one simple sentence.


If a US person made those "Now, I am fully aware" comments you quoted, I think one likely interpretation is that they are generalizing from anecdotes from personal experience (possibly including conflating distinct properties), and resent that.

Another possibility is that, although the English is excellent, there are probably implicit cultural values and ideas that are unfamiliar to me.

(Incidentally, though I don't think it's the case here, I've also sometimes seen tone like that slip in when someone is astroturfing, or writing a persuasive piece around misrepresenting their real position, but is not good at it. It's a bit like Fellow Kids.)


I don't understand why people don't want to do WFH to reduce carbon emissions. It seems like the quickest way an individual can reduce their emissions.


> Then there are people who work mainly to get paid and do not care to invest themselves beyond what is necessary.

This was a stand-alone comment, separated from the comment about those that don't like to commute or socialize. I don't think they were implying that one means the other. That's how I read it anyway.

BTW as someone that works to get paid and does not care about investing myself beyond what is necessary, I wasn't offended by that remark and I don't think OP meant it in an offensive way. To me it comes off as accepting it as a valid reason for not wanting to come in.


Some people really view their coworkers as an opportunity for forced socialization / to make up for their lack of social life.

True story: a new employee moved to sf. In my office, we had a standing weekly drinks night at the local. Everyone was invited (NB: and not required to drink in any way.) I mentioned it to this person. He/she doesn't drink. Cool, do yourself.

And then, dude wanted us to switch to boba. Nope, ain't happening. And actually had a tantrum w/ managers involved over us not wanting to cater to his hangups about alcohol.

I even mentioned it on here and had HN commenters pissy that I -- a grown ass adult -- didn't feel responsible for rearranging my limited outside-of-work social time to suit someone else just because he happened to work with me.


> prefer to socialize in other settings

Can someone shed some light on this? I'm in the office for at least 40 hours a week. Then each day I get home, cook dinner, clean, bathe, workout sometimes. I don't even have kids or a long commute.

If I'm not socializing at work, when am I doing it? Two days a week? That is bleeeeaak.


8 hours at work, 8 sleeping, that's still 8 more left. I would be surprised if you took all of them to cook and clean.

Even with 4 hours of chores a day, that's still 4 hours to do whatever you want. Doesn't mean you spend them all that day, or all of them socializing. Maybe you use mondays to study, tuesdays you spend more time cleaning so wednesdays you can go out do something.

Also consider that if you strictly socialise in a work context, most of those relationships will grow distant relatively quickly when you or they leave for another company, which means it's harder to build long lasting friendships. Those can be really handy at times of transition in your life, which is where work friends usually fail first.


Why do so many people try to do the hard math when it comes to this? The reality is by the time I am able to go out on a weekday it's like 8pm. Very few of my peers, friends or not, want to go out late on a weekday after already having a long day.

If you're able to do better than that, then you are in an uncommon bracket.


Well, not sure how else to approach you with the fact that there is more time than you give credit to. Also, 8pm? How much time do you spend on commute? Do you live in a mansion and don't hire a cleaning person?

To be fair, I personally am on an uncommon bracket where I usually socialise over the internet, people who make games tend to like playing them too, and there is no commute.

That said, you're still framing it as a work thing. Your peers can do whatever they want, but the rest of the world still exists. Unless you're saying everyone within 20min of your commute path also follow this routine pattern, but then I would expect you to be on an uncommon bracket.

There are countless activities you can partake that involve interacting with other people and give you opportunity to create friends.


> Also, 8pm? How much time do you spend on commute

Leave work at 5 (hopefully!). Gym/exercise for an hour, commute for 30min, dinner for an hour. That's already 7:30pm. Add in chores or errands or distractions or whatever and 8pm comes quick.

Like yeah, I could start doing microwave dinners or not exercising or replace all my food with Huel like someone actually suggested in the comments here. Or move right next to the office or leave work early. But my god I'm not going to hyper optimize my life in order to maybe see people late on a weekday.

My whole point in this entire thread is that I socialize during work. At lunch, during breaks, between meetings, etc. Time I would have not been working anyway (because I'm not a robot). This is what people have been doing forever just fine.


40hours a week is 8 hours a day. Let's say you sleep 8 hours. Let's also be conservative and say you have a 1 hour commute each way.

That's still 6 hours left. It's pretty easy to find some socialization time in there unless you're taking 4 hour long showers.

This isn't just theoretical, _clearly_ many people socialize in the evenings.


By the time I work out, get home, cook dinner, eat dinner, clean, shower, it's like 8pm usually. No one around me is staying out past like 10pm on a weekday. Now I have the job of finding anyone who wants to hang out from 8pm to 10pm on a weekday when both/all of us are exhausted from a long day.

Doing the hard math and saying I have 6 hours is just theoretical. _Many_ people may socialize in the evenings, but I'd be surprised _most_ do.


I had a similar realization at a certain point. I was wasting too much time on chores, so I optimized them out of my life.

Replace all food at home with Huel. No more cooking, no more cleaning, no more shopping (no more driving to stores), no more wondering if you can go out for dinner or if food will spoil.

Make sure all your clothes can be washed together (either all tones of grey, or all colours). Make sure all your socks are the same. Do washing once a week on a weekend.

Move closer to your office to eliminate commute. You don't cook anymore, so can get a place without a good kitchen for cheap.

Suddenly you have infinite time. For what it's worth, I would socialize with people from work (and ex-coworkers) after work. 5pm, off to the pub or a restaurant. Then walk home since I'd live near the office which would be near the pub/restaurant (since we are going after work).


> Replace all food at home with Huel.

Oh dear, you've already lost me.


If you meet someone for dinner you don't need to cook/eat/clean. Perhaps you could choose not to workout every evening.

It might not come for free, but you can make it happen if you actually want it to happen.


That's assuming that you don't have to pop all of your spell slots to get through the 8 hour work day. The 8 hour work day was chosen pretty precisely to be exactly exhausting enough in a menial labor factory assembly job that you return home with very little energy for anything else. If you presume your job is more (creatively, socially) taxing than "repeatedly doing the same task in an assembly" line, it's very easy to assume most jobs today are more exhausting in 8 hour shifts than what that work week was first established for.

You may have 6 hours of time left, but that doesn't mean you have 6 hours of energy reserves left to socialize or otherwise. (Clearly many people spend their evenings in low effort activities like watching TV on weeknights, too.)


Implicit judgment? Remarkably condescending? It's a statement of fact that many WFH advocates are paycheck-grabbers who want to extend the least effort for the most pay.

Maybe the worst part about WFH is the increased tendency to cherry pick a line of text and derail the main topic. All because feelings of being judged personally, possibly by a sub-optimal word choice of the sender. It's almost like we are being forced to debate semantics instead of substance with attitudes like that.


> If what makes you happy is a condition in which someone else is unhappy, that person is unlikely to react well.

I really hate zoom meetings. Unfortunately if everyone just does whatever they want, then even the in-person meetings get dragged onto zoom because there’s at least a few people who are remote and need to dial in. Early on as we returned to office we even wound up taking a lot of meetings in the office over zoom from our individual desks because there was so little point getting into a room together with so many others online.

“Everyone do whatever you want” as a WFH/WFO policy is kinda like “everyone do whatever you want” as a “no peeing in the swimming pool” policy.

> Generally, the stance of the WFH crowd is that each individual should get a choice of what makes that individual happy.

It’s pointless weighing my hate of zoom against your hate of commuting or general WFO, but it’s definitely not the case that WFH crowd just wants everyone to be happy while the WFO crowd wants to strong-arm everyone. On the contrary, as my preference is for hybrid flexibility it often seems like the most vocal WFH proponents would like to strong-arm every business to be full-WFH.

I kinda like my company the way it is—and that won’t work for everyone, but maybe it doesn’t have to, right? The full WFH folks can look for companies that do that; the WFO folks can look for that; and the hybrid folks can look for that. And everyone is free to compromise based on the other aspects of the job.


> “Everyone do whatever you want” as a WFH/WFO policy is kinda like “everyone do whatever you want” as a “no peeing in the swimming pool” policy.

Kind of, but I dont really think the analogy works because if you flip it around its just as bad. "Everyone has to swim in the piss pool because I want to piss in the pool, but also want people to swim with". That doesn't sound agreeable either. "Nobodies allowed to piss in the pool" sounds good, but then circling back to it being an analogy, there needs to be a common consensus on which one is the piss-pool and which one is the clean pool, and there clearly isn't one.

> On the contrary, as my preference is for hybrid flexibility it often seems like the most vocal WFH proponents would like to strong-arm every business to be full-WFH

Depends on your definition of hybrid. To some it means you have some days in the office, some days from home, and for a lot of WFH folks (myself included), this is just as bad as WFO. If you mean people are kicking off because your allowed to work from an office but don't have to, I'll admit thats bad but its not something I've ever seen myself. I can't see the logic to it.

> The full WFH folks can look for companies that do that; the WFO folks can look for that; and the hybrid folks can look for that

Seems absolutely fair to me, though obviously for that to work, if people leave/don't take a job because it doesn't match their WHX preference, that shouldn't be an issue.


It seems to me that there isn't a consensus because, in the post-covid era, every company had a large segment of the "prefers WFH" people and they all insisted on their current company accommodating them. I'm not saying they did anything bad, there's nothing wrong with advocating for your own interests at work, but a lot of people who like WFO are justifiably frustrated because they thought they had joined a company that did have a common consensus.


Well there are many aspects to life that probably will not do a full "before times" reset. Some good, some bad, some depends on your perspective. It's understandable that this frustrates people but it's the way it is.

(I actually find that there has probably been more of a reset than many people expected.)


>I really hate zoom meetings. Unfortunately if everyone just does whatever they want, then even the in-person meetings get dragged onto zoom because there’s at least a few people who are remote and need to dial in.

Something often missing from these discussions is that at many large companies, A lot of people are scattered around the country/world so, even if they are in an office, a lot of meetings are going to be by Zoom anyway. And frankly, if some people are going to be remote, it's good policy that people generally dial in individually if it's an interactive meeting.

So this isn't necessarily a WFH/WFO thing. Decades before there was a Zoom, at least half the meetings I was in had lots of people on a conference call.


> if some people are going to be remote, it's good policy that people generally dial in individually if it's an interactive meeting

But that's exactly what the parent posts have issues with. The false claim that the WFH people are letting everyone do what they want while the WFO's are not letting everyone do what they want.

Because the WFH people are forcing the WFO people into zoom meetings. Having to dial in individually because you say that's "good policy" takes away the thing that WFO people want: To not sit in zoom meetings all day.


I don’t think you got the point.

Example: my old team

Half in Boston and half in Barcelona. Standups were joined by people at both offices and were done with Zoom in 2 conference rooms because even though everyone was WFO, we still need to do video conferencing. Unless you want to restrict teams to being in the same office.


> A lot of people are scattered around the country/world so, even if they are in an office

This realization actually caused my last company to full 180 on their WFO policy to "Fuck it work wherever you want in the world, including in one of our offices. Just give us two weeks heads up if you move so we can sort out the taxes."


Exactly! The team has to be aligned, because if a critical mass of people are working remotely, the office ceases to offer any advantage. It's okay to prefer working from home—but you should find a team that also prefers working from home, so people who prefer the office have that option too.


> It's okay to prefer working from home—but you should find a team that also prefers working from home, so people who prefer the office have that option too.

This cuts both ways: It's okay to prefer working from the office—but you should find a team that also prefers working in the office, so people who prefer home have that option too.

Right now we're in the shaking-out stage where each team is deciding what kind of team it will be. Both sides of the debate justifiably want their preference to win out. In the end, we'll see people leaving the teams that won't accommodate their preferred working style, and that's okay! No one should assume a priori that their team will land on their side of the fence, and it's not on your teammates to leave and go find a [WFO/WFH] job if you're the odd one out.


Alternately find a company that supports a mix of in person and remote work and provides the tools to do "in person" things like white-boarding and the culture to provide "coffee chats" and other camaraderie building events.

I think that a lot of people who dislike WFH are missing the sense of community more than are actually missing talking with someone face to face with a cup of coffee in their hand. Not always the case, but I think those are two separate audiences that get clumped together in these conversations.


> Alternately find a company that supports a mix of in person and remote work and provides the tools to do "in person" things like white-boarding.

I just don't really think that works. Maybe I've simply used the wrong tools, but I'm skeptical.

Some day I imagine we'll all have perfect VR headsets (or brain implants) and location and distance will be an illusion. But we're not there yet.


Why do you feel the office needs to offer an advantage? Who does the advantage benefit?


WFO isn't necessarily about personal preference. People who want everyone to WFO believe that WFO produces better outcomes for the company. That is different than someone who desires to work from an office or remotely out of personal preference. For instance, I may prefer to WFH because it makes my life more convenient, but I can also accept that WFO produces better outcomes for the company.

Personally, I haven't seen many good arguments that WFH produces superior work outcomes. Companies are collaborative human endeavors. Most WFH arguments I hear are related to personal fulfillment: more time with kids, less time commuting, more time for hobbies, etc. Those are all great things, but have little to do with productivity. The closest work-related argument I've heard is that some people work better when they're free of distractions at the office. That takes us back to companies being collaborative human endeavors. One may feel they work better in isolation, but part of ones job is to interact with others, even if that's not fun.

I don't want this to sound judgemental. There is no requirement that people organize their life around what's best for the company they work for. It's totally fine to enjoy working from home. But I don't see the argument that WFH is better than WFO for most companies, even if it's often better for the individual employees at those companies.

I think we'll get more conclusive data when WFH is and is not appropriate.


> The closest work-related argument I've heard is that some people work better when they're free of distractions at the office. That takes us back to companies being collaborative human endeavors. One may feel they work better in isolation, but part of ones job is to interact with others, even if that's not fun.

Have you worked in an open office or cubical farm? My hearing the sales guys isn't 'collaboration', it's distraction. Hearing my coworkers at the much-lauded ping pong table having a great time while I'm trying to get work done isn't collaboration either. Collaboration is often code for 'meetings'. As evidenced by my outlook calendar, those haven't stopped. I find that people who make this argument are those who either spend the majority of their day 'collaborating' or those who have offices they can escape to when they need to think.

> One data point is the BLS released quarterly productivity numbers last month. Productivity is down 4.1% [0]. That's pretty massive.

Mass WFH started in 2020 - I don't think you can link a Q2 2022 productivity decrease to WFH, considering the previous quarter will have had even more WFH. In fact, it's easier to link it to the return to the office.

Edit: Hell, we can even see that non-farm business sector productivity INCREASED in both 2020 and 2021.

https://www.bls.gov/news.release/prod2.t02.htm


> Have you worked in an open office or cubical farm? My hearing the sales guys isn't 'collaboration', it's distraction. Hearing my coworkers at the much-lauded ping pong table having a great time while I'm trying to get work done isn't collaboration either. Collaboration is often code for 'meetings'. As evidenced by my outlook calendar, those haven't stopped. I find that people who make this argument are those who either spend the majority of their day 'collaborating' or those who have offices they can escape to when they need to think.

That. The one medium-sized (several hundred employees) open-floor office I've worked in, I left in a matter of months in part because it was intensely stressful and difficult to actually do work. Loud, motion everywhere, people walking behind me constantly. Even the goddamn floor (so, also my monitor) shook when people walked on it, which was never not happening because there were so many people.

Go fucking figure, the managers had offices. And, HR got their own walled-off room just for them. Gee, I wonder why. Maybe because the experience for everyone else was basically hell and they knew it.

I could see good offices experiencing a decline in productivity with WFH, but I'm not sure that's the kind of office most people work in, and the bad kind would almost have to be more productive with WFH.


In my company, we have observed that work from home has increased productivity in short term. But true collaborations have actually decreased. Often, in office, you would have coffee breaks/lunch with people from different departments, or talk with someone from other departments for may be 5 minutes. And we have noticed that these kind of low-cost interactions are greatly decreased during Work From Home as much because of discoverability as anything else. The effect this has on the company as a whole is that, we get less cross-pollination of ideas between different departments and therefore reduced potential for future growth.

Having said that, if you are in an environment where interactions not related to your personal responsibility is mostly negative interaction, then it is understandable that work from home is better. So, in short, I would like to say that, if a company has a healthy interaction between different departments, then work from office is better for the company without much loss of time to the employees. However, in other cases, employees might prefer work from home.

This of course can change from employee to employee. Some employees might prefer work from office because they have positive interactions with rest of office colleagues and other will prefer work from home.

*EDIT*: I should have led with this. In my office, we have 2 people per office room. So, we have enough privacy if needed.


> Often, in office, you would have coffee breaks/lunch with people from different departments

That wasn't my experience working in the office. Unless you were a manager or PM (someone whose job it was to facilitate cross-team communications), most people tended to just have lunch and coffee with either their own team or their personal friends. All of my experience has been at companies with over 1k employees though, I imagine at a smaller shop there's a bit more closeness.


As a big supporter of a WFH choice (and have myself for ~10 years):

> Mass WFH started in 2020 - I don't think you can link a Q2 2022 productivity decrease to WFH, considering the previous quarter will have had even more WFH. In fact, it's easier to link it to the return to the office.

I would honestly be impressed if a initial WFH productivity decline wasn't found. A lot of people were not prepared for WFH. They didn't have the home to accommodate it. I expect some decline for anyone who was not prepared.

I purposefully bought a home with 2 extra bedrooms just for offices because i've always enjoyed a dedicated office setup. So it's quite natural for me to WFH. However this is clearly a luxury and not what many people have. Closing the door to distractions is huge, to me at least.


You'd think that productivity declined in 2020, but based upon those charts it only did a little bit in Q1 and then bounced back hard in Q2 and Q3. I think people overcompensated, but the fact that it has stayed high for the rest of the lockdown tells me that it's not in fact the productivity killer that it's claimed to be.


It's funny, for me my biggest thing is that in WFO if i was overwhelmed on a problem or off feeling (tired/sick/etc) i would often just try and get through the day, horribly unproductive.

At home i can usually address the issue more quickly (quick nap, a walk, an extended break, etc - often fully detatching from work) and end up back to actually working far more quickly. For me these blockers would often just stall the whole day in office.

Tbh i wish office work was more similar in that regard. They expect everyone to work like robots, but in doing so they ignore the human element of overcoming all our quirks. We have no roads to get back to productivity in most offices, and in doing so my belief is that it ends up a net negative. People learn how to appear to work, while not working.

Though i mostly say this in the context of creative work (development).


> People learn how to appear to work, while not working.

This right here - when I didn't want to work I still didn't work, but I hid it in ways that ended up meaning it too me longer to get to a place I COULD be productive. I couldn't just disappear and recharge for a half hour.


Have you worked in an open office or cubical farm?

This is a key point. I know I'm less productive working from home than I was in person, but my office was sane. I can easily believe that WFH is as or more productive than open plan abominations.


So without hopefully coming off too flippant, noise canceling headphones can solve all of that, they did for me in an open office space at least.


It's how I survived as well, but that just means I'm cancelling out all the 'collaboration'.


They don't necessarily, many prefer music through speakers and not headphones, or silence


I can take closed cans only for a short period of time.


I rarely wish pain on others, but for you, I wish migraines caused by pressure on the sides of your head, like some people have. Maybe a lesson will be learned.


To wish pain on someone for such an innocent comment on my end comes off rather bad for you. Just saying. Plus I don't wear over ear headphones, because I do get tension headaches, the newest Airpods however, are in ear and imo have the best active noise cancelling ever produced in a consumer product, so no need for ear cups.


I can’t have music on while I work, especially not in headphones, or I just start listening to it, so this is not a universal solution.


At my last work from office gig, I was sitting next to a sales support person who was on the phone all day long on topics that were irrelevant to my work. And the other software people would start shooting each other with f-ing nerf guns later on in the day. It was nearly impossible for me to concentrate.

My personal preferences be damned, I add way more value to the company from my quiet, comfortable home office.

I would be 100% fine with work from office if I got a private room with a door. I'm even OK with sharing it with 1-2 other people. But I have not been able to find anyone who will offer me that, only open office chaos -- bad for me, bad for the company.


> shooting each other with f-ing nerf guns

Well before COVID and the WFH swing, I left a job that I loved because of f-ing nerf guns. Because it just went crazy. People started with the 1 shot at a time guns. But then someone else bought one that would shoot 10 in a second. Someone figured out how to make a magazine that held 30. And so on and so forth. So when I got hit with 1 or 2 darts a day, sure. But when I was caught in a crossfire of 100s of darts, I just got sick of it.


A class of response I don't really see in responses here so far is that if the supposed benefits of WFO were supposed to be that high-bandwidth collaboration requires face-to-face interaction ... for a lot of companies that ship sailed a long time ago, prior to the pandemic.

Mid-sized and large companies _frequently_ have projects that involve people that would previously have been in different offices. In my last in-office job, it was already the norm that most meetings of importance were a Zoom call between at least two conference rooms anyways. We _already_ had to be able to form working relationships with people we didn't see in person regularly or almost ever, brainstorm and whiteboard over zoom, slack to ask someone a question, etc etc. There were long periods when I would go to my office and the immediate team I worked with would be entirely in other cities, and so all my collaboration was remote. In that context, insisting that people zoom from the office in their metro area isn't about actual productivity -- it's theater. It's putting on the performance of showing up, not because it helps you work better, but because being seen daily in passing by the SVP you report up to might be marginally better for your career.

With WFH (or more pointedly, work from a room I have sole control over), collaboration has one less hurdle. Before, I needed Zoom + a conference room at each participating office. Now I just need Zoom. Ad-hoc huddles no longer need to start with searching for empty rooms. Scheduled meetings don't start late because the prior meeting in that room ran slightly long, and conversations which go longer than scheduled are no longer interrupted by needing to vacate one room and find a different one.


This point gets ignored.

Even if everyone were to get pulled into their nearest local office tomorrow. And the majority probably do have a relatively nearby local office; I know relatively few people who moved remote during the pandemic. I would basically never be in a meeting where everyone (or even most people) were sitting together in one room.

And to add to your point, if half the people are more are going to be on Zoom anyway, I'd rather the people who could be in a conference room together just called in individually. A number of teams I work with have that as a rule.


One of the reasons I'm a big proponent of WFH (at least for tech careers) is precisely because WFO involves such a staggering amount of wasted time for everyone, but it's so baked into the business culture that few people seem to notice the full extent of it.

I think I understand where you're coming from, but I strongly disagree with the implication that WFO means collaboration/interaction and WFH doesn't. WFO makes the cost of interaction so low that it tends to get abused. YMMV, but I've been WFH almost entirely for the past decade and one of the key benefits is that gets things closer to the sweet spot in the right amount of interaction, and the collaboration is of higher quality. *

WFH vs WFO has so many facets and tradeoffs, but for software companies at least, I'd be extremely skeptical that WFO produces better outcomes for the company on average.

--

* I don't fully know all the reasons for this, but I suspect it's because remote interaction encourages proficiency in a richer set of collaboration tools, and so we learn to naturally flow from tool to tool based on what is the best fit - chat for spitballing, email for thoughtful protracted debate, a Google doc for hammering out proposals and requirements, etc. In nearly every case there's automatically a searchable history created. In WFO, it's typical to lean way too heavily on face-to-face, which is extremely costly in the moment, it doesn't encourage putting much thought/preparation into the communication, and it also lacks any sort of history keeping (unless done manually), so information is lost or, worse, the face-to-face collaboration is then followed up with using the same tools to attempt to recreate what was discussed/decided (so redundant effort).


> I haven't seen many good arguments that WFH produces superior work outcomes.

Why should you want _arguments_ about a question for which there has been actual research? "Superior work outcomes" is a fuzzy thing to measure, but when units of work are clearly countable and it's agreed what constitutes "done", there are multiple studies that have found that WFH employees were more productive (i.e. did more in the same period of time), and since the pandemic there have been multiple findings that WFH employees were putting in more work hours (i.e. previously dead commute time became productive). Admittedly, the kinds of work that support this kind of clear measurement are generally not product design and development, but more like handling inbound customer calls, and for employees with some experience. The gold standard I'm thinking of here is Bloom et al from I think 2013 which did an actual random controlled trial. In that call center case, literally handling more calls per hour was attributed mostly to having a quieter environment, but workers did also work longer.

I think the main challenges aren't around "superior work outcomes" at the individual level, but stuff like training junior team members through interactions with their more senior colleagues. This is harder to measure, often isn't someone's "main" responsibility, and so individuals who appear to be succeeding at their own work can be less impactful on these secondary and indirect benefits.

All of which is to say, I think the personal fulfillment vs company benefit framing can be a misleading one. _which_ company benefits are most important? Does everyone in the company agree on that prioritization? Have you tried actually _measuring_ those, rather than just seeking "arguments"?


Yep. I also wanted to respond to this. My team had actual data that showed our productivity increased when we went fully remote. We also cut a full hour out of our work day (went from 8 to 7 hours per day).

Also:

> WFO produces better outcomes for the company.

What's backing that up?


I am curious how you measured your productivity. I do think that a weakness in the published data is that methodologically it's tough to measure productivity if work isn't done in clear, countable units, so only some kinds of work gets studied. And clearly teams struggle with picking the right metrics for themselves, carving tasks into the right sizes, etc.


Just Jira burndowns. We tracked ALL our work as tickets. Obviously story points aren't rock solid indicators, but we were basing it off a couple of years of data. For months before the pandemic there was a pretty solid line, then after months of working from home that line visibly raised. The org, who didn't look at our Jira data, also commented that stuff was coming out quicker. Of course there could have been other factors too, but that's what we saw.


A call center is not really a collaborative job at all, so it's unsurprising that there would be some gain from WFH. I don't think you can generalize what works in a call center to what works for knowledge workers, though.


WFO is shit and delivers measurably lower work. That is what I have seen. It is not useful to say these things because everyone works in a different environment. You are essentially saying "what you say works best for you doesn't work for me, so it must be what I want because I believe my way is better". It is attitudes like this that make offices the absolute hellscape that they are, with everyone constantly interrupting you because of what they want or need. There is no space for what the victim in that situation wants, any attitude that thinks that is in any way okay is fundamentally toxic.


> WFO is shit and delivers measurably lower work.

Where are your measurements? Most of the replies here are level-headed discussions, with statistics or points.

This reply is mainly about your disdain for WFO, nothing more.


anecdotally, i am willing to put in far more hours if i don't have to worry about falling asleep on the commute home.


Yeah, but again, not really a statistic, that's kind just how you feel.

Personally, I enjoy working in an office, as there is a very, very clear separation between my work and private lives. Yes, having a commute can suck most of the time, but hitting the store on my way home or going to the PO Box to get the mail makes it so that when I get home, I'm home, and done for the day.


As an employee I don't care one bit about "productivity" or "better outcomes for the company" or "superior work outcomes", I'm here to get paid.

Also: WFO is more expensive than WFH. WFO could be 10% better but it doesn't matter because it takes 20% more effort. Personally as someone with a chronic illness I'm not even going to entertain WFO unless it pays at least 100% better, and probably not even then.


Honestly as I operated a fully remote small business for a long long time, I think you're missing the real remote work lever.

Access to talent. Dramatically increased access to talent. Exponentially increased. You can get anybody across the whole world if you like, or at the very least anybody within a reasonable time difference.

This cannot possibly be overstated as an impact on your business. Talent is actually fairly evenly distributed across the world, but you only had access to a tiny slice of it before.

The issue here is that most management I've run into has a seriously hard time managing, recruiting, retaining, or honestly even identifying talent. Most of the time people just punt and say "Well they got hired at a FAANG, or somebody else promoted them, or they went to a school with a basketball team I've heard of, so how bad could they be" or something on those lines. So they're missing out on all these great people that were previously outside their narrow slice of who could reasonably drive in.

And managing a remote team is a big pain in the ass, no question about it.

So it's harder with a meaningful upside. Managers that can turn the corner will win, the rest are gonna get left behind. It's even more stark in tech, because organizations that can make that adjustment are going to poach a ton of talent from managers that can't get it together. WFH is very very very popular in tech. (I'm not really a WFH fan aside from family concerns, but family concerns are probably the biggest driver in my working decisions, so that's that. WFH is a big deal if you've got kids, and the best, most skilled workers you can get often are dealing with kids and a family. Folks with decent emotional intelligence, work experience, good energy, these people are textbook quality workers, but are usually married with a family.)


> Personally, I haven't seen many good arguments that WFH produces superior work outcomes.

https://www.apollotechnical.com/working-from-home-productivi...

https://resources.owllabs.com/hubfs/SORW/SORW_2021/owl-labs_...

> Several studies over the past few months show productivity while working remotely from home is better than working in an office setting. On average, those who work from home spend 10 minutes less a day being unproductive, work one more day a week, and are 47% more productive.


I'm not going to comment on the entire Apollo Technical source, but I think some of their claims are misleading. For instance, they say this:

> A study by Standford of 16,000 workers over 9 months found that working from home increase productivity by 13%.

They link to the study, but it 404s. I believe this is the study [0] and it focuses on a single call-center. It's not a broad survey of 16,000 workers.

[0]: https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/faculty-research/working-papers...


Your own cite is to a productivity report from a single quarter, when the WFH wave is in its 11th quarter now.

This feels like Wikipedia-lawyer disingenuous citation dueling. Nothing in this thread (or wider discussion writ large) is truly data driven in any scientific sense. Everyone is arguing their subjective view here, the only question is your self-awareness about it.


I've removed that link to the BLS data as I agree it is erroneous to try to correlate that data to any broad trends in WFH / WFO. However, the Apollo Technical link is filled with misleading summaries and questionable sources.


Okay, so what numbers would you believe? Collectively, there are hundreds of billions of dollars in market cap and value generated by remote first tech or very remote friendly companies of various sizes. The argument can't be made these orgs would be more productive if everyone was dragged into the office on feels alone.

https://builtin.com/remote-work/best-places-remote-work


I would believe any numbers that were objectively presented with sound methodology. Using a single call center study as evidence that worker productivity increases just doesn't make sense. Most work isn't anything like working in a call center.

Here is another misleading claim from that link:

> Working Remotely Can Increase Productivity up to 77%

But they then clarify that "77% of those who work remotely at least a few times per month show increased productivity." Productivity increasing by 77% is not the same as 77% of people experiencing any productivity gain. Also, they link to a source for this claim, but the link takes you to a blog spam page titled "43 Productivity Tools That Will Make Your Life Much Easier." There is no mention of the claim on this page.


I said this in a sibling comment, but according to our Jira metrics, my old team's productivity increased after both going fully remote and working one less hour each day. We didn't write anything about it, just giving you one personal anecdote where actual metrics were involved.


Just an anecdote, but my company saw about a 30% increase in completed stories and we've all been happier and less stressed. Now we're all on the same page when it comes to WFH & have been working together for a while so that is a big factor.


Trying to map BLS productivity data to WFH performance in the current economy and environment is absolutely crazy


I agree. I regret mentioning that as it doesn't really add anything to the main point I was making.


> WFO isn't necessarily about personal preference. People who want everyone to WFO believe that WFO produces better outcomes for the company.

...

> Personally, I haven't seen many good arguments that WFH produces superior work outcomes.

And personally I haven't seen many good arguments that WFO produces superior work outcomes, and yet you seem to state it as fact.

I suspect WFH and WFO produce roughly equivalent work outcomes. That said, I hope we can both agree we're both to some extent guessing based on our own personal experiences (in my case I'm a VP at a dev shop and we've done more in the past year than we've done in the last five after landing a major deal; productivity is clearly not a problem for us).

But offering WFH as part of a flexible work policy:

1. Enables access to a larger labour market, meaning more high-quality candidates,

2. Creates a fairer labour market by removing barriers to entry (e.g. childcare),

3. Provides an additional benefit that helps attract and retain top talent, and

4. Ultimately improves the lives of individual workers since it provides more options to achieve work/life balance.

Honestly, in the end, I personally don't care if WFH actually maximizes "productivity" because I think chasing productivity has led to an extraordinarily toxic work culture.


>I think chasing productivity has led to an extraordinarily toxic work culture.

i will say that crunch from home is a lot easier to optimize and ultimately sustain than crunch-in-office.


Absolutely.

IME, far from being a barrier to productivity, WFH can make it harder to maintain a good work-life balance if you're not careful.

For example, it's a lot easier for my colleagues in other timezones to justify pulling me into a 6am meeting if they know I can just roll out of bed to take the call. And I personally know people who've put in a lot more overtime because it's just so easy to keep on coding when you don't have a commute to bookend your day.

Stir in this latent perception that people who work from home are lazy, and I could see WFH being more toxic for people who aren't careful or work for a company with a broken culture.


It's easier to be creative when you can bounce-off an idea with a coworker immediately, rather than wait for the Zoom meeting or wait for them to answer your Slack message.

We're actually building a virtual office to make having these quick chats easier (gloo.chat). If you would want to try it out, or even just provide some feedback, that would be amazing given we just got started. Totally shameless plug.


For me, it's easiest to be creative when I can enter a flow state, and that's best achieved by muting Slack notifications and blocking out all external stimulus. Coworkers bouncing ideas off me "immediately" whenever they see fit is a recipe for decreasing my productivity.


Yep we encourage people to turn off our app (Gloo) a few days a week similarly to having "no meeting days". In the end, people can always decide how often they want to be reachable for.


> Personally, I haven't seen many good arguments that WFH produces superior work outcomes. Companies are collaborative human endeavors. Most WFH arguments I hear are related to personal fulfillment: more time with kids, less time commuting, more time for hobbies, etc. Those are all great things, but have little to do with productivity.

> Personally, I haven't seen many good arguments that WFH produces superior work outcomes. Companies are collaborative human endeavors. Most WFH arguments I hear are related to personal fulfillment: more time with kids, less time commuting, more time for hobbies, etc. Those are all great things, but have little to do with productivity.

I don't see any rigorous argument that WFO is more productive in your analysis either though, just that you suspect it's the case. It seems a bit of a stretch to me to assume that WFO is more likely to be productive merely because it's claimed on that side of the debate; if anything, making that claim without hard data makes it more dubious to me compared to the side not making any claims that require data without providing it. We don't even know for sure if either WFO or WFH even is more productive in a significant way, let alone which one it is!

Tangentially, there's also an implicit sentiment here that the needs of the company trump the needs of the employee when they're at odds, and I don't think that's universally the case. The reason minimum wage and workplace safety regulations are a good idea is orthogonal to productivity; they're good ideas because they are important enough for workers that we're willing to deal with the consequences they might have on productivity. Even if I accepted the premise that WFH is a net negative for companies (which I don't accept as a premise, although I don't have my mind 100% made up one way or another), I still think the question of whether it's important enough for workers despite this is unsettled.


First off, let's get this quote out of the way:

> The closest work-related argument I've heard is that some people work better when they're free of distractions at the office. That takes us back to companies being collaborative human endeavors. One may feel they work better in isolation, but part of ones job is to interact with others, even if that's not fun.

This just feels like motivated reasoning to me. Here's how I read it "I've NEVER SEEN an argument for why WFH is better... Well, some people did say they're more focused and productive when working from home, but they're probably just doing a poor job of communication so that outweighs any of their perceived productivity gains." How can we falsify this rebuttal? I certainly have enough data to show that I've had much greater and more consistent engagement with my work since transitioning to work from home, and I have plenty of 1:1s and meetings with the rest of my team to stay connected and work through problems. Our team has shipped successful products entirely working from home. But that argument runs up against a brick wall if you're predisposed to assume that whatever job I'm doing at home, I'd be more effective in the office.

Personally I haven't seen much evidence for the proposition that WFO produces better outcomes. Most of the arguments seem to be from first principles, like the communication argument you're making or the argument that companies would have already gone WFH if it were better for the bottom line.

The problem with the work outcomes conversation is that our industry has 1) no reliable way of measuring work output and thus 2) no reliable way of measuring productivity. This is why despite decades of research we have no good way to estimate when projects will be done, for example. Each organization is unique. Each project is unique. Comparing across them is questionable. That means conversations that are ostensibly about what makes a business productive are really just a dressed up proxy for our own values.


If you want WFH to value-add to your position then it’s on you to make it happen.

Where I am, the WFHers have ruined a lot of morale and contributed to around half the team leaving.


How do WFHers ruin morale?

And was it really them, or managements treatment of the issues?

We've got a "flexible" tues-thurs in the office, but pretty much on any given day there's maybe 50% in the office, max, unless there's a particular event or reason.

And it's fine. Every meeting is 50% of people on zoom, but who those people are varies day to to, there's no lines drawn... and lots of the managers are just as likely to be wfh as the rest of us so...?

We did invest in some fairly decent zoom set-ups in our meeting rooms, and even some stuff in my open ad hoc areas, and we've all got good enough equipment and headphones, we do very very little of the "can you hear me" song and dance.

We work. We laugh and joke around. We do it on zoom and we do it in the office.

So..I'm seeing it work, not perfectly but not noticeably worse either.. what broke in your environment?


And yet, I bet those WFHers are far happier now than they were before.


I think there are many “subcultures” (for lack of better description) within WFH and WFO. You’re describing two of them, but there’s also a group of WFH’ers that believes the whole organization should be remote as to standardize the processes to be asynchronous, and there are WFO’ers that still like to work from home one or two days a week.

There’s also WFH but within the same country, WFH globally across all timezones, etc etc etc.

As such, I personally consider it more of a company culture thing rather than WFO vs WFH. Where does the company fit in these philosophies.

There’s definitely no such thing as the WFO’er that wants to force their preferences upon others any more than there are WFH’ers doing the same thing.


This is the best way to think about it imo, there are all kinds. I'm lucky enough to be able to comfortably bike to work. Unsurprisingly; I like to go in a few times a week for a change of scenary (and to still keep a big screen. A number of my teamates aggressively defend their right to 'never come in ever again' up to and including shaming those who like the option of WFO.

I think we're at an odd almost feverish inflection point right now. I say this typing on my (giant) home monitor.


> There’s definitely no such thing as the WFO’er that wants to force their preferences upon others any more than there are WFH’ers doing the same thing.

Given that the WFH crowd has no expectation of collaborating in person with anyone and 90% of the WFO argument is predicated on other people being there with you, I don't see how this statement could be possible. WFO absolutely want other folks in the office, whereas I don't see WFH feeling the same outside of some kind of safety in numbers (e.g. they won't force me to come into the office if a lot of my coworkers are also at home)


Absolutely, there are always going to be subcultures within this kind of thing, but I highly doubt the majority of those want to force their preference to others, certainly for the WFH crowd and to be fair I'd assume from the WFO crowd either, at least not consciously.

> There’s definitely no such thing as the WFO’er that wants to force their preferences upon others any more than there are WFH’ers doing the same thing.

I can only go anecdotally on this but that certainly hasn't been my experience. I assume there are some WFH'ers who want to force their preference, but I've never seen any of them. However, I've encounter it many times from the reverse. I am pro-WFH, which might explain why, but again all I can go off is personal experience here.


I've had a job where I was the only remote developer, and the experience was terrible. I was excluded from or forgotten for lots of important meetings and social events.

I personally wouldn't want to force everyone to WFH, but I'll never willingly repeat that experience either.


It's best viewed as a continuum between nearly no control over your working environment and nearly total control over your working environment. On that continuum, WFO is clearly closer to the latter pole and WFH is clearly closer to the former pole. It's not a binary though. The best WFO experience I had was where I had, shocker, an actual office, just like I do when I WFH. I could shut the door, shut out noise and visual distraction, and get stuff done. On the other hand so-called offices today aim to replicate the experience of a high school lunchroom and are about as good a place for me to get work done. They are very close to the nearly no control pole and I and many others frankly despise them with good reason.


This is the crux for me. It's not that I find the opinions of the office fans offensive, it's that their ideal situation changes mine. They don't just want to be in the office, they want ME there too. They drag us into their problem. Where I work the office people pushed to get back into the office, now they're there and nobody else is and their new quest is "how to get more people in the office." You don't. We don't work in the office. You do.


Not sure I agree - the hybrid model where some are in office and some on video is unfair to the remote folks. Watching coworkers whiteboard from a zoom call makes it much harder to collaborate as the remote employee. It’s also harder to get a turn to speak when you are a face on the camera vs in the room. For these reasons I’ve insisted that in hybrid meetings, everyone dials in individually and whiteboards on a virtual whiteboard even if they are in the room. This is effectively demanding “all remote” from the in-office crowd and taking away their face to face interaction.


> This is effectively demanding “all remote” from the in-office crowd and taking away their face to face interaction.

How is this at all a good thing?

It's basically saying: "I've got a limitation because of my choice of working environment, therefore to make life "fair" — which it isn't at all ironically — I'm going to impose my limitation artificially on the rest of the group."

Because I can't play with that toy, no one else can.


It is my opinion that the extra inconvenience that in-person folks have to do it dial into a meeting and use a virtual whiteboard is worth it to allow remote folks to fully participate. But ultimately it comes down to how strongly a company supports a remote culture. I’ve worked for 100% distributed companies, and I’ve also worked for places where remote was an afterthought. I imagine at some companies it’s harder to get promoted if someone doesn’t physically see you in all 3 dimensions every day.

As a remote employee I will always try to gravitate towards companies that accommodate me best, but I’m not opposed to the idea that some companies want to be in-person and don’t want to deal with remote. I just chose not to work for those companies.


To be fair, audio quality and the ability to communicate with remote people goes up much more when everyone dials in. You can still look at each other in the room and whiteboard just fine.


That isn't really the point of OP's comment.


Work is a third of our life, and it seems reasonable that many people would want social interaction during that time. Further, at least in the workplace I had before Covid, people could work from home as needed, or even part time, depending on their management. Granted this was for IT, not for the whole company though.

You think WFH is every individuals choice in this new world. It isn’t.

The last place I worked had 25,000 people on its main campus. Three gyms, three coffee shops, four cafeterias and more square footage than the pentagon.

When every person chooses, in a fit of glee, to WFH all the time, that community dies. Maybe in a generation, the world will adapt, but I look back on the mid 2010s as what will possibly have been the best part of my lifelong career due to the energy, the learning, the comraderie, and the amenities of my tech job.

WFH is a group decision. Don’t think it’s morally superior to choose WFH.

I’m like OP, I see many benefits in terms of living flexibility and people caring for dependents. But it will have profound negative consequences on professional development and social development for workers going forward.


> The last place I worked had 25,000 people on its main campus. Three gyms, three coffee shops, four cafeterias and more square footage than the pentagon.

I interviewed at a place like this, with all the in-site amenities. They were particularly proud of offering breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day to the staff. As I finished my last round of interviews, it became obvious that they offered this because they expected everyone to be there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.

I did not accept the offer, and I have no regrets.


work trying to compensate life is insane. I don't want to spend all my time there and have dinner with you guys, no offense.

In the end, they will fire you if their numbers don't align in your favor, but hey, they fed you.


Work is literally 1/3 of your life. Trying to pretend otherwise is insane.


That’s not what my job was like in IT. It was a really great place to work.


That’s an interesting observation about the effect of social norms and the inability of granular individual choice to make everyone happy. The WFH people say the same thing—the WFO folks have advantages in hybrid meetings, etc. Allowing individual choice doesn’t necessarily lead to everyone being happy, because you give up synergies that arise from everyone doing the same thing.

The same is true for parenting as well. In 1970, almost 35% of the population was kids. Today, it’s closer to 20%, and in many states and cities less than that. There has been a resulting collapse in the infrastructure supporting parents. Parenting is just a lot better and easier if everyone around you, especially in your cohort, also has kids. I think the only way around this is pluralism. If you want to have a lot of kids and be around people who have a lot of kids, go to Utah and let Utahans maintain the social norms that encourage everyone to have kids. If you don’t want that, move to New York.

Same thing applies to WFH. I don’t think letting people choose at a granular level is optimal. Instead, organizations should probably decide whether they want to be an office-first or remote-first organization. And then people can self select into the organization that fits their needs.


I love love love wfh. Makes a world of difference when you have a family. I walk my kids to school. I can take care of tasks that require small amounts of active work- load dishwasher, etc.

But I wouldn’t be where I am today without wfo early in my career.

It would be nice to come up with some new ways of handling this. Maybe the more senior folks who want to be in the office lead a team of juniors, who can then choose to wfh over time, as they decide how much benefit it gives them.


> Work is a third of our life, and it seems reasonable that many people would want social interaction during that time

Yeh thats reasonable enough. I do miss the social aspects of working in an office, I just don't miss the logistics of it like the commute, or the cost, the social pressures or the lack of freedom. As you say work is a third of our life, it seems reasonable that people wouldn't want it to be any more consuming.

> You think WFH is every individuals choice in this new world. It isn’t.

You say this and then don't really expand on it further. Do you mean its not a choice for those not in IT? Of course we all know this, thats the point, if you can do your job from home it should be a choice thats open to you. Its not for everyone, thats the problem.

> WFH is a group decision. Don’t think it’s morally superior to choose WFH.

1. No its not. Its an individual decision. It affects a wider group, as does any individual decision, as is the decision to force working in an office.

2. Nobody said its morally superior, other than that it seems to me morally superior not to force decisions on people because it makes you personally happy.

As for the arguments on community, that community mainly seems to be involved with shops and land mass. I'm not sure I'd call that a community, at least one thats not corporate controlled or impossible to replicate remotely.


What I mean by "WFH is not an individual choice" is that in the post-COVID jargon, WFH is a company policy. And when people advocate for WFH in this environment, they are implicitly advocating for no one to be in the office - because me being alone in an office park because everyone else is at home does nothing for my ability to collaborate or have a positive work experience. As someone else stated, I think the end result will be different companies choosing how they want to have their workforce operate, and workers deciding whether to work for a WFH or WFO company.

And I do think some are saying WFH is morally superior in that they think WFO is something "forced" on introverts. My point is that WFH is something "forced" on extroverts. Introverts' decision to WFH affects an office advocate as much as an extrovert's decision to have everyone work from office affects a WFH advocate.


> What I mean by "WFH is not an individual choice" is that in the post-COVID jargon, WFH is a company policy.

Ah, apologies, that makes much more sense, though it is of course an individuals choice as to whether you will work somewhere that allows WFH or not (all factors considered, of course).

> As someone else stated, I think the end result will be different companies choosing how they want to have their workforce operate, and workers deciding whether to work for a WFH or WFO company.

This seems to be a fair solution, though I don't think we're there yet. If a big tech company decided to declare itself as entirely WHX, you'd get a wave of people resigning (because it doesn't match their preference, so they're going somewhere that does), which would restart the whole fight over it, which is why a lot of companies are still in this middle ground of not doing anything yet. But after that initial wave you'd hope it'd get a lot more smooth, and it'd just be treated as any other job preference thing.

> I do think some are saying WFH is morally superior

I haven't seen this myself, but as another commenter pointed out there are of course bound to be a load of subcultures on both sides. I'm sure there are some that say WFO is morally superior. But I don't think the majority of either group are saying that.


The issue is the moral weight of action vs inaction. WFO advocate for action from people who don’t want to do this. WFH do not advocate for an action. WFO do suffer from inaction of WFH, but in almost every moral system suffering caused by inaction is preferable to suffering caused by forcing someone to act.


I see a lot of micro aggressions in my day to day as a remote worker from some of my WFO colleagues. Part of management has become more bold in making remote workers feel terrible for not coming into the office for seemingly constant “meet your coworkers!” org meetings and “we highly recommend you come into the office to meet folks!” over and over again. It’s a constant stream of anxiety from these people and it’s all one way. I’m blown away by some of them being so excited to commute and return to a terrible open office plan, but hey to each their own I guess.


Came exactly here to say this. Because of WFH im able to have a awesome job and see my family living in other countries and also my parents at home much more frequently now.

If you want to work in an office you can do that it’s your choice. Many people also have young kids and two working parents making the WFH flexibility ideal. Lots of reasons for WFH exist but they don’t matter. If you do your job and the company is happy why do we even need to have this discussion?


The issue is that I don't just want to work from the office, I want to work from the office along with my coworkers. Sitting there alone is only marginally better than work from home. In the end we just need to self select into companies that follow our desired "work from" policies, it's just tough now since the pandemic made every company temporarily WFH so some workers need to swap as companies change back.


Thats great then find one of the companies that forces people to work from the office.

Don’t be upset when you have trouble finding talent unless you are paying out amazing salaries though.

This to me just gets into people trying to control other people. You have your preferences and thats fine but forcing it on others always causes problems.

If you start your job search with this requirement in mind though i don’t think people should have issues. I look for my jobs based on being listed as fully remote and the rest of the company being largely remote as well. As long as you aren’t at a company trying to force everyone back in the office I think its all good.

I do know my last company of size 1000+ has been trying to force people back slowly. 50% of my team left and now that they are pushing harder i am having people reach out to me every week about openings.


So that's fine and all, but the problem is that large corporations impose top-down one-size-fits-all policies -- a lot of us work for large corporations. If the Dems lose the next election, corporations will probably continue to consolidate down to an ever-smaller set with more employees each. A large corporation mandating only one policy for the entire bazillion-employee set doesn't make sense. We need per-team flexibility, and most of the billionaire CEO's don't seem to want to allow that.


It’s crazy that they pay managers so much and don’t give them this autonomy at most companies


> Generally, the stance of the WFH crowd is that each individual should get a choice of what makes that individual happy.

I partially disagree. Such hybrid situations often end up being office-first, meaning that WFH folks have a harder time i.e. participating in meetings.

That said, if the company is remote-first but also has offices, then that is optimal, should make everybody comfortable, and allows everybody to pick their choice.


I agree with your first point about remote workers in an office-first org, but I disagree with this:

> That said, if the company is remote-first but also has offices, then that is optimal, should make everybody comfortable, and allows everybody to pick their choice.

Those who want WFO are really asking for consistent in person work and collaboration. If you're going to an office, and there's few people there, and every meeting is a video call, and your team's work style is async then you are not getting an office experience- you are doing remote work from somewhere that isn't your house.

I just see the only satisfying outcome here being one in which there are some remote orgs and some office based orgs, and they largely don't mix. Structured hybrid models also make sense, but only if they are quite formalized (eg: in office M-W).


As part of the WFO crowd (I mean I live 10 min away from the office, it wasn't a hard choice to make), I'm happy to have colleagues around in the office, that's the whole point of the place. But I've never said that those part of the WFH group have to come too! Especially those who've moved 300 km away during the Covid.

And yes, you're coming as agressive, sorry.


I'm on a team that has a mandatory "in-person" day twice a month. This seems to be the best balance for everyone as it's just infrequent enough to not feel like a grind but frequent enough to keep everyone moving in the same direction.


Given the choice, I'd never take a hybrid role. It means I still need to keep the "infrastructure" needed to get to the office (eg a car, public transport around me is terrible), but it sits unused 90% of the time. I can't get properly comfortable working at home or in the office because I'm constantly in between the two. Its just not for me.


I'd have to imagine that the universe of people who have terrible public transit around them yet don't own a car for day to day life has to be very small. I recognize your situation, but surely you are an edge case here.


For twice a month you could probably Uber / rent a car and expense it, no?


Every time I’ve traveled for work, they do not expense the portion where you leave from your home. It’s up to you to get to work.

So if you drive, you “leave from the office” (i.e. calc the distance from there), or drive to the airport, and getting from home to the airport is on you.

Curious to hear if this is different for others.


If your principal “work location” is home, then the travel is a business expense and your employer should pay.

Many articles on this when you Google, but here’s one from a CPA https://www.bpbcpa.com/the-rules-employers-must-know-for-rei...


Ah ok, thanks. I didn’t think of “home” being a possible principle work location, but of course it is.


This sort of reveals the problem I have with this calculus.

"Working from the office is more productive."

"Great do you offer higher rates to offset the costs and share some of that additional productivity?"

"Not really. We offer the market average of all jobs, wfh and wfo. We can't really afford more, renting office space is expensive."

"Would you lease a car for me, count commute time towards the workday and refund my gas and toll costs?"

"No! That wouldn't be cost effective!"

It may be that WFO does make the business a bit more, but it's actually less than the employees cost to get into the office each day. In my experience most employers would happily load their employees with thousands in costs to make a couple extra hundred bucks themselves.


I've worked for a government entity in Germany where this was regulated as follows. I think most of the private companies do it similarly as a baseline and are more generous as an optional perk:

When you are doing "real" work from home (in bureaucrat-German: "Telearbeit"), your regular workplace is at your home. You need a separate, lockable room, the room needs to be inspected by the employer's safety advisor and data protection officer, equipment such as chair and desk as well the room and electricity are paid by the employer. Safety and health regulations apply in your home same as for the company office, e.g. lighting has to have appropriate brightness, no storing dangerous chemicals like toilet cleaner in the bathroom, etc. Since your office is at home, public holidays (which are location-dependent in Germany), taxes and regulations of your home apply to you. If you travel to the office, it is reimbursed as regular business travel ("Dienstgang"). Any other business travel is reimbursed as having started from your actual starting location (e.g. your girlfriend's) or your home, whichever is cheaper for the employer. But since all this is incredibly onerous and expensive, nobody does "Telearbeit".

The alternative, which everyone uses, is "mobile work" (bureaucrat-German: "mobiles Arbeiten"). That was actually intended as a regulation for e.g. salesmen traveling from customer to customer, only sometimes working from the office. Here, your regular workplace is in the office, meaning that traveling between your home and the office is never reimbursed. Rules, holidays, etc. apply as if you were in the office, even if you are working from somewhere else, e.g. a customer's or your home. Since things are thought to be "mobile" and "random", workplace safety regulations do apply but do not need to be inspected. The employee is responsible for observing them at their current work location (i.e. usually not at all caring about all that crap). If you do "mobile work" from your home, you pay for your own chair, desk and power.

When HR writes emails about WFH and you do pay attention, you will notice that they are carefully avoiding the term "Telearbeit" and maybe even "home office" and phrase everything in terms of "mobile work" (which is optionally 100% from your home) ;)


I wouldn't consider 2x/month hybrid. It's close, but IMO is more like typical remote work where the team gets together periodically.


Your co-workers know you and the position better than your managers. They might have insight into productivity that are uncomfortable...

When I talk to people about going back to the office so many are unreasonably strident that they never will, to the point it seems like a social anxiety instead of a time/productivity choice. They often say things which are obviously wrong such as "there's no difference in productivity" when that is clearly dependent on person, task, and team. Or maybe it's that they've retreated into depression during Covid and this is unconscious coping.

Anyways, teams are teams and if someone doesn't want to be part of one there are other classes of work where you produce alone and those are more appropriate to people who cannot or will not go to the office. The extreme WFH people should evaluate their positions and see if they're in their optimal role or if they're now blocking others and change their career to give them their preferences. (The rabid WHO people are also an issue from their side of course.)


I spent the entire decade of the 2010's WFH, 1500 miles away from my company's HQ. I rose through the ranks (albeit more slowly than some of my peers), and left the company on good terms.

Thusly anecdotally armed, I can tell you that for cases towards the center of the bell curve, employees working in the office is better for the company and arguably better for the employee long-term. More shared vision, more opportunities for cross-pollination, more quick problem solving. All the usual arguments. It worked in my case, but productivity plummeted for the next guy who tried it, and we had to let him go.

It worked in my case because this was before the time when every kid expected to be able to work from home, and so I was terrified on a daily basis that out of sight would become out of mind. In the early days I made a point of traveling to HQ one week of every four, to meet the new folks and maintain relationships. I strove to overachieve so I didn't become redundant. Even so, by the end of the decade, with the growth of the company I was noticeably detached from the centers of power and the office culture, serving a role not much different from a contractor.

Not this specific post, which is reasonable and well-thought-out, but many rants I've heard by WFH proponents come across as myopic and naive. Yes, it can succeed sometimes, for some combinations of office culture and individual. Just based on my own experience, more often it doesn't.

> Generally, the stance of the WFH crowd is that each individual should get a choice of what makes that individual happy.

Salaried employment in this business (at least in the US) is a contract between you and somebody who wants to give you a lot of money, with some expectations in return. The person offering the money has the right to set the terms of that contract, and you have the right to reject that contract and work somewhere else. I view this as the actual "choice of what makes that individual happy."

Finally, let's not forget that people working in group settings is what got us here. It gave us the airplane, modern medical care, and the internet. New is sometimes better, but sometimes it's not.


I want to communicate with people in person. If I'm going to pair with someone, I want that to be at their desk. If I'm going to brainstorm with somebody or go over some complex math, I want to do that at a real physical whiteboard. I have yet to meet anybody who communicates better over slack or zoom than they do in person. So either I want you to be in the office for the greater communication bandwidth, or you want me to waste time trying to exchange ideas over sub-optimal channels. Either way, we're at an impasse.


Are you talking about management? I prefer to work in office and have no opinions on whether my teammates WFH or not. I do find remote meetings extremely unproductive though.

What I find annoying is all the reluctance to return to office, especially where companies are trying to compromise and only require a few days a week. If there was no COVID, people would be working in office as they've always done.

You were hired with the expectation of coming in the office. Either re-negotiate or quit.


We did re-negotiate, en masse. This is why the office is no longer an expectation.

I don't know about your org, but I had a conversation with my manager, and all my reports had a conversation with me about it. This worked it's way up the org chart until the CEO understood what the new reality was.


> If there was no COVID, people would be working in office as they've always done.

If my aunt had a dick, she'd be my uncle. This is a useless counterfactual because what happened has changed the dynamic. We can't base anything on a counterfactual.


Unless everyone on a single team chooses to work either from home or the office, communication will suffer for the people working from home, since it's just far easier to talk to people in the same room than it is to type stuff.

Personally, I find working in an office to be borderline unbearable unless I'm participating in making all the noise that's being generated around me.


Optional remote work _is_ mandatory remote work even if you have the option to work remotely from the office. This is especially true if WFH is conflated with the loss of core hours and the enforcement of async comms.


If everyone else works remote then what is the point of going to the office?


Both sides have their points, but fundamentally, to me, it makes no sense to join a company with an office, and then fight to not go to that office.


He's asking why you prefer WFH and you didn't answer him.


You can literally flip the O and H and change the “what makes me happy” part to get the opposite side’s point of view.


But as I said, its about choice.

The WFH crowd are unhappy if they don't get a choice in where they work. The WFO crowd are unhappy if others DO get a choice of where they work.

Or to put it another way, one side are unhappy if they're forced to do something they don't want to, the other is unhappy if the first are not forced to do something they don't want to do.


That's not the be-all, end-all. A previously WFO-only team must make various adjustments to become a successful hybrid team, so even just one WFH team-member will be unhappy if the entire rest of the team doesn't change their behavior in pertain ways (e.g. renouncing ad-hoc team meetings over coffee, or in-person whiteboarding).


> You can literally flip the O and H and change the “what makes me happy” part to get the opposite side’s point of view.

No. The points of view are not equal and opposite.

Some people who advocate WFO do so because they just want to work in an office (for various reaons) and they don't care how many co-workers do the same. But others want other people to also be present in the office to create the environment that they desire. People who advocate WFH have similarly varied motivations, but none of their motivations require other people to change their behaviour.


> People who advocate WFH have similarly varied motivations, but none of their motivations require other people to change their behaviour.

Of course it does. Some people who WFH will want things like no mixed meetings - either everyone is in the same room, or everyone is entering the meeting from their own computer - there's an example in this very thread. And even if you don't go that far, there are various smaller ways everyone must adapt their behavior to properly support hybrid work modes, just like WFO-only or WFH-only.


It just seems like those people should work at different companies. Having a mix of people who prefer WFO and WFH seems like the worst of both worlds. (WFO people don't get the atmosphere that they desire, WFH people are second-class citizens for collaborative activites, WFH seniors have reduced ability to mentor their juniors, WFH people still need to live a commutable distance from the office).


> WFH seniors have reduced ability to mentor their juniors

Why is that?

I find screen-share mentoring on dev stuff that more fruitful I stuck to that even when forced back into office. Less covid, less other awkward closeness, better for ears and eyes :) (Admitted, only non-computer-work mentoring is different).


> Why is that?

I believe it's because coworkers rarely talk about non work stuff when they are WFH. Maybe it's just my company, but when we were in office I felt everyone on the team had some sort of relationship with each other because we'd eat lunch or talk about sports, or even the weather. Now we pretty much only talk about work stuff, which ends up meaning we silo more and collaborate less.


That's a cultural (your?) problem (as well as the other responses) and not excluded per se by remote. Some people seem to be more shy virtually, for others it is the other way round?


Perhaps it is because the mentoring activity has a barrier now. Scheduling a time, putting aside other activities,and even having to say hey guy, can I bother you for a "session".... Well, sometimes all Jr needed was a two minute leg-up, even a 30 second orientation, development of an in-joke, whatever. So he never bothered, and had to spend 45 minutes figuring it out as though he was alone.


One big category that's missing is the quick, informal after meeting sync. When we were in the office, after big meetings, I would usually chat with my juniors about what happened. What went well and what went poorly, the general theory of how those kinds of meetings work, that kind of thing. That's much harder to do now, so I mostly don't, and as a result our post-Covid newbies are generally worse at running meetings.


But in liberalism my wish to not be in another individual's company strongly trumps their desire to be in my company


It is our unfortunate shared lot in life that we chose a profession most suited to introverted people. For some reason when I say the word introvert people get offended. I find these are these types of people are my favorite people to be around. In particular I found that they have a superpower: they can just sit there in front of a screen for absolutely hours if not days without talking to anybody and just get things done and not have to take a break to talk to somebody. When they do want to talk to you, they seem very pleasant.

My father is such a person. I wanted to be just like him so I chose his career more or less (I'm DevOps; he's a DBA). It wasn't until later that I realized I was at a disadvantage because of my extroversion relative to my peers until I landed at my previous company. The culture there was very heads-down. I had to build in other social interactions in my day in order to survive.

If you thought your friends were bad, Hacker News is 10 times worse. Another great superpower of introverts is that they tend to be excellent writers. They love writing because it turns communication, a pleasant but otherwise taxing activity, into concentration work in isolation, which is something that lends them energy. All the while being able to feel like they are connected to their peers. Meanwhile, extroverts feel more disconnected when writing by comparison. Rather than write a long email, we generally would much rather just walk over and talk to someone. For these reasons, text based communication comment boards like Hacker News are disproportionately representative of my more introverted colleagues.

I lucked out because I'm a devops engineer, which requires the ability to code and do IT but it's also really central to several teams and so requires lots of communication. So that aspect helps me get through the long hours of coding. Coding is something I enjoy, but it's a bit like scuba diving for me. I'm having fun down on the coral reef floor but every once in awhile I just have to surface and fill my tank up.

I am squarely in the crowd that wants everyone back at the office. Yes, this is not fair to those who want to stay at home, but for me it's not worth going into the office if it's just me and two other people when everyone else is still home. Fortunately at my new company there's more social interaction and there's nine people instead of two. But again, it's not useful to me who needs social interaction to go so far to an office with nobody in it. I don't care about the actual office space, I care about talking to people. Maybe that's not fair to you dear reader. I understand that. But it is what it is.

I'm hoping that the recession will kick in harder than it is now and allow the managers to start requiring people to come back in. Those who threaten to quit will make the manager's lives easier so that they don't have to lay people off. This is sort of happening at Facebook right now.

Whether a manager is an introvert or extrovert, their job is communication. It's been shown by Microsoft studies that their workloads of doubled in the pandemic even though most people's have stayed the same. This incentive to get their employees back in the office together with a recession will probably put things back to where they were eventually.

That said, I realize the cat is out of the bag. Remote work works and people know it now. Some companies have gone the opposite direction, getting rid of their office entirely. As long as there are other companies that get people back together I'll be okay.


>I'm hoping that the recession will kick in harder than it is now and allow the managers to start requiring people to come back in. Those who threaten to quit will make the manager's lives easier so that they don't have to lay people off. This is sort of happening at Facebook right now.

Hoping for a worse economic situation for everyone just so we go back to the office with you? Really?


Hoping is too strong a word I guess. I don't wish ill on anyone. I have several coworkers that are remote out of state. I'm glad to work with them.

I just can see what's going to happen with the economy and I guess I'm looking forward to a sort of silver lining. Kind of like how the pandemic was awful but let people work from home en masse in the first place.


Part of me can’t wait until you all are outsourced to a team in Lima for 25% of the cost. Everyone here seems to think they are so special. I am warning you, someone who is 75% as talented as you that will work for 50% the salary is a fucking miracle. Stop pretending you are special.. you aren’t!




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