>"its banter, get over it. Men deal with it all the time".
Just shows how deep the problem goes I guess.
Why, isn't it true? I mean, if one's going to argue one is much worse than the other, then some citation is needed.
Empirically, men don't (usually) get rape threats. But they do get death threats. And they don't usually get sexual comments on their looks. But they do get comments that they're "fat", "dorky", "idiots" etc. And the classic "gay" comments.
>That's banter? That's equivalent to being "fat" or "dorky"?
First, I find this "words in my mouth" thing infuriating. Have I written anywhere that this specifically is "equivalent to being fat or dorky?" Why not respond to what I DID say?
As for banter, yes it is. 99.99999% of such talk is BS bravado from kids that would never do anything to act on that, and in fact would go to bed crying if someone told their parents what they said.
Second, is that kind of talk like the one you quote constrained against women? In the gaming forums males say things like "I'll kill you and piss down your neck" all the time. And lots of males (and maybe females) uses such threats over the internet anonymously to other men too. Including the words "rape", "nigger", "kill", "faggot" and tons of variations on maming, killing, hurting, etc.
I used to get a few of those per month as a simple general topic blogger, not even related to games.
What you did say, and are saying, is that it's banter. You then go on to give qualified examples of banter that apply to the other gender ("don't (usually) get rape threats"; "do get death threats"; "do get comments that they're 'fat', 'dorky'"). Whether you intended to draw the equivalency or not, that's what your phrasing achieved.
Secondly, I agree. I don't believe it's constrained to women, but at the same time I don't think the volume or impact is the same when it's thrown at men. A few per month is, apparently a very low volume ("Feminine usernames incurred an average of 100 sexually explicit or threatening messages a day. Masculine names received 3.7"[1] -- although I need to find the actual study).
This isn't a topic I particularly enjoy discussing. I'm not in a position to speak for those who are threatened, and there are myriad reasons and subtleties why I'll never truly understand their plight. I'm sorry you feel like you were misunderstood.
Depending on the recipient's emotional state, being called "fat" or "dorky" can be worse. There's simply no valid objective way to decide the equivalency or lack thereof.
Or, more likely, believe that any circumstance where being called fat or dorky is a serious threat to your well being will also be a circumstance where people musing about your rape and death will be a serious threat to your well being.
Especially as, for women, body shaming and rape threats often come hand in hand.
No, I didn't introduce an insult/threat having a relationship. Insulting someone who is in the wrong frame of mind is still not a threat.
I understand that we are simply going to disagree on this, so I won't bother rebutting anything else, but I'd appreciate you not adding context to my own thoughts.
I'm sorry, what do threats have to do with insults? Conflating the two is a classic technique in this strange attempt to create some sort of right to never be offended, but they have no relationship to each other at all.
"I'm sorry, what do threats have to do with insults? Conflating the two is a classic technique in this strange attempt to create some sort of right to never be offended, but they have no relationship to each other at all."
They do have a relationship - indeed, there's two of them embedded in this conversation, one of which you introduced:
1. Insults as a form of threat to one's health, in the form of pushing someone toward suicide. As noted, this relationship between an insult and a threat was of your own creation.
2. Rape threats are insults. They are suggestions that a woman (or man) is a lesser being. A thing. Something to be commented on, their violation a subject of idle speculation. Their autonomy denied because of who they are. All those are insults, as well as threats.
Why, isn't it true? I mean, if one's going to argue one is much worse than the other, then some citation is needed.
Empirically, men don't (usually) get rape threats. But they do get death threats. And they don't usually get sexual comments on their looks. But they do get comments that they're "fat", "dorky", "idiots" etc. And the classic "gay" comments.