Not everyone enjoys their work. It's a sad reality. Most of us are just lucky enough to keep a monthly paycheck in our chosen fields at a rate that is almost a living wage.
Having said that, and I don't mean this as a slight to you or your particular lifestyle, do you have a significant other or children? This is probably a key question when talking about work/life balance. Because, as with all things, it's very important to strike a balance.
Generally when you're young and have nobody else but you to feed, your work life balance probably looks like WORK/life. Then, when you get married but before kids show up it looks more like WORK/LIFE. Then when kids show up it's work/LIFE. Then, hopefully it remains work/life for a long time and as you age it becomes work/LIFE.
I'm middle-aged and I've discovered that for me, I no longer identify with my job. I'm not what I do as far as work goes. It's gotten to the point that when I meet new people, I feel kind of awkward asking them what they do, knowing full well, the social norm means, "what do you do for a living?" I generally answer that questions with, "I'm a husband and a father...that's what I do.".
No offense taken. I do not have children and currently no SO, and I do realize that this makes a big difference. As I mentioned, I do understand that not everyone has the luxury of finding 'nice' work. What I said applies mainly to those that DO have this luxury. I just think a lot of people, especially in Western Europe, have this luxury and don't use it.
Shouldn't the knowledge that your freedom is likely to diminish as you get older actually motivate one to not lock into a particular job directly post-college, but instead do everything to ensure that you're on a right 'track'? It just seems so important to make sure that the thing you do with most of your productive time is actually something you enjoy...
As for work/life balance: I'm by no means a workaholic most of the time. I work to save a bit, and I keep a low financial profile, and as a result I could potentially get by (currently) on even just two days of work a week. The reasons why I've worked hard were generally 1) saving/pension, 2) passionate about a project, or 3) saving to take significant time off to explore (which in turn often offered me new avenues of revenue or fulfllment)
But to provide some context. My main inspiration has come from a somewhat unusual childhood and the unusual lives of the adults that I grew up around, especially my parents. They went 'off the beaten path' early in life: young parents with three young children off to work in a developing nation (and before that basically volunteering). I believe this choice has been crucial in their path. It resulted in years of poverty and uncertainty, but they were young and happy, and found they didn't really need that much. And here in western europe, we have a pretty good welfare system for the real emergencies.
As a result, they developed something of an entrepreneurial/adventurous spirit and never quite got back to normal, even though they've been 'home' for the past decade.
Their entire approach to life just seems... different, and not primarily because of personality, but because they never went for the 'default'. They never lived above their means. They learned to be happy with very little.
My father has a 'regular' job nowadays, but it's something he's passionate about, and there has always been a certain fluidity in how he treats work and the rest of life. My mother started a business a few years ago (shop) and suddenly had to learn everything that comes with that.
What I always remember most is that despite growing up relatively poor, and despite a relative lack of security, despite serious illness and hardship, and despite a background that isn't all that great, they're among the most happy people I know. And I think it's primarily because their whole life has been an adventure that they faced together, with us, the kids, in tow. And I've met too many people like them to think they're just a lucky exception.
That said, I do not mean to imply that it is the only valid approach, or that this is an option for everyone. It's just that I'm baffled by how many people don't even try.
(also, as I'm getting older I'm becoming more and more convinced that having a family is one of the most gratifying things you can have in life, and at least something I deeply respect. I'll probably get me one of those eventually even if it does mean losing some 'freedom' :) )
I have to clarify one thing for you though. Having a family IS extremely gratifying but it doesn't come at the expense of freedom. Simply put, your priorities change. What may seem like a loss of freedom to you now, will probably become less and less important to you as you take on a family.
There is something immensely gratifying in doing work that you're also passionate about..don't get me wrong. I'm just saying that for a lot of people I know, a job is simply a means to an end. That end being, putting food on the table to feed your family and if you're lucky, your SO can stay home with the kids for a while (which I was fortunate to be able to provide for). I wouldn't say that I'm passionate about my work. I enjoy it but it's not who I am. I don't identify with it anymore. I identify with how my children are as people and I identify with my relationships with others. The old adage is true, I will never say to myself (on my deathbed) that I'd wish I'd spent more time in the office...
> I have to clarify one thing for you though. Having a
> family IS extremely gratifying but it doesn't come at the
> expense of freedom. Simply put, your priorities change.
> What may seem like a loss of freedom to you now, will
> probably become less and less important to you as you take
> on a family.
Hmm. I'm glad this is true for you. It's certainly not true for me (or most parents I'm close friends with).
Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and daughter and wouldn't trade them in. But I have mourned my adventures lost and I expect I will continue to do so.
It's certainly also true that emotionally well-balanced people don't dwell too much on the impossible, and I strive to find joy in the very different opportunities parenthood presents. I also have found my priorities adjust with partnership and parenthood, so some adventures no longer have the same allure.
But I would never counsel unattached people that parenthood doesn't entail dramatic loss of freedom. That just sounds like crazy talk to this parent.
Rather, I'd say: parenthood can be wonderful! But I sure recommend getting your fill of adventure before embarking on reproductively oriented sexual activity.
Interesting. Maybe it's all about changes in priority throughout life. I feel frustrated to see so many of those around my age settle for and into something that perhaps at a later time would be fine, but just seems like a waste currently.
I'm still pretty young, but I already notice how priorities change. I feel less of a need to be part of a 'clique' than a few years ago, for example. But I'm happy that in my college years I joined a student organisation and had all the 'clique' I needed, because I'm pretty sure it would've felt like something I'd missed out on otherwise.
My frustrations don't primarily stem from a belief that there is one 'path' that makes everyone happy, but primarily from the belief that, living in the richest part of the world at a time where we're still doing quite well (Holland/Germany/etc.), it's such a waste to settle for less than something that makes you happy. And yet many of my peers do just that. I often try to think of ways to change that, while being mindful that my path to happiness does not apply to everyone (or I try to, anyways. Plenty of youthful arrogance left in me!).
Anyways, thanks for the advice/perspective. I'm sure that my priorities will change significantly as I age, and I try to be mindful of that fact.
Having said that, and I don't mean this as a slight to you or your particular lifestyle, do you have a significant other or children? This is probably a key question when talking about work/life balance. Because, as with all things, it's very important to strike a balance.
Generally when you're young and have nobody else but you to feed, your work life balance probably looks like WORK/life. Then, when you get married but before kids show up it looks more like WORK/LIFE. Then when kids show up it's work/LIFE. Then, hopefully it remains work/life for a long time and as you age it becomes work/LIFE.
I'm middle-aged and I've discovered that for me, I no longer identify with my job. I'm not what I do as far as work goes. It's gotten to the point that when I meet new people, I feel kind of awkward asking them what they do, knowing full well, the social norm means, "what do you do for a living?" I generally answer that questions with, "I'm a husband and a father...that's what I do.".