tptacek, I'm sure you have a compelling viewpoint both as someone who has to manage an entire company and as someone who is older and wiser than I am (I'm not sure if you have kids of your own). Would you care to expand on why you don't think spanking is an acceptable form of discipline?
To clarify, I only recommend open palm spanking. Not switches/lashes/paddles/belts. It doesn't bruise, only stings for a few seconds, and in my opinion is actually more humane than sticking your kid in solitary confinement. I don't see it as a problem as long as it is administered in moderation (like most things).
We don’t allow adults to strike one another in anger or as punishment for a mistake or wrongdoing. We don’t allow children to hit each other — indeed, we actively discourage it. Then why is it okay for an adult to hit a child?
Yours is perhaps the best argument I've ever heard against corporal punishment. I've never accepted the "spanking causes trauma" argument since any form of discipline will do that if administered inappropriately. I do have a vendetta against double standards though, and I appreciate you changing my perspective.
To answer your question, in some training/reinforcement circles, the answer to the question of what to do when what behavior you are seeking doesn't occur is nothing at all.
It covers the types of operant conditioning with definitions. From this article, you can blast off into tons of reading. Read carefully - these are holy topics to some writers and they will carefully shape their message to support their viewpoints.
(Also: Dave and Jeremy do more managing than I do, although I have more impact on hiring than they do; We have two kids, 13 and 11 about to be 14 and 12.)
Apart from the fact that it is illegal: your kid will resent you. Sure, they might grow up all fine, but do not think that resentment will ever go away.
Apologies, let me clarify. I'm not trying to justify spanking. I'm arguing that the occasional spanking from loving parents doesn't cause the horricific long term psychological damage everyone seems to think it does. A couple of spankings over an entire childhood, while an arguably poor parental decision, does not equate to child abuse.
To clarify, I only recommend open palm spanking. Not switches/lashes/paddles/belts. It doesn't bruise, only stings for a few seconds, and in my opinion is actually more humane than sticking your kid in solitary confinement. I don't see it as a problem as long as it is administered in moderation (like most things).