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One Way to Write A Powerful Cold Email (life-longlearner.com)
107 points by scottbrit on Jan 3, 2013 | hide | past | favorite | 46 comments



Testing has taught me that successful email marketing depends on one thing. The message subject. The message body can be a link, image, wall of text, or even empty.

Writing a good message subject is like writing a good headline. Though there are some differences between mediums. Allow me to share some with you.

Email is personal. Your message subject has to feel (and read) like a one-to-one message. There are various ways to achieve this. One is to use a simple to when writing it. Instead of being overly logical, just break down the message into simple words. Example:

    Logical 
        $product name will help you save $500 a year
        on office supplies.

    (The above is an actual headline I got from a serious   company)

    Personal
        I'm a business costs consultant. My job is to help you reduce operating overhead. I have some pointers to share with you.   

I actually tested both headlines. The personal achieved a response rate of around 3.5% ( slightly above average ). The logical had a response rate of 0%, unless we count the emails calling me names for spamming them. All were cold emails from account randomnly selected from the web.

Two. You should not adhere to any specific message subject length. Some ideas are better conveyed through 2-3 sentences. Others with one word. It all depends. Always test. Don't trash an idea beause of the length. Test it!

Three is simple. Include a phone number, email address, URL on the message subject. Not long ago, I did an email campaign for a client. The message body was empty, but it had a very powerful message subject:

    I sell a system that helps you get more sales leads. 555-555-1234 - John.
All cold emails. Response was very good, and it helped my client sell over 10K worth of products.

But wait. Let me explain how it worked. When people saw the message they had two options. Either call John, or reply. Few ignored it. Why? Because of one simple human trait: We feel obligated to reply when we humanize messages. We would not want to upset John by not calling! He would be disappointed! People called, and/or replied to schedule a call.

Hope you can benefit from this. I'm writing a book that shows how to write good copy. Keep posted, it should launch soon. If you are curious (or want to hire me), just shoot me an email (check profile).


    The logical had a response rate of 0%, unless we count the emails calling me
    names for spamming them. All were cold emails from account randomnly 
    selected from the web.
Yes, that's because you were spamming them.


The guy is giving you an incredibly useful tip and all you care about is the "spammy-ness" of the content. You've completely failed to see the point of his message.


This guy is giving an incredibly useful tip on how to trick people to interact with the spam he's trying to shove down their throats. These kind of things make the world a worse place to live.


The point is, you can apply this knowledge to either good or bad. Like technology, it is simply a tool you can use. Ignore it at your own peril.


Thank you. Someone smart enough to understand the point.


Yes. But do realize that most businesse/sales/marketing people write like that. So, even though they are not looking to spam and offer a real useful product, their message comes across as spam. And spam == sleazy.


I fail to see how the perceived usefuleness of the product prevents it from being spam. Unwanted mail is spam, useful or not.


Randomly selecting emails from the web is what makes spam sleazy. You should build your own mailing list, from actual interested prospects who gave you their address.


Let me address all those people who are saying this is spam. Marketing, believe or not, is what puts your food on your table. Not your precious code. If the code you write every day was not successfully marketed your children would ask for a loaf of bread for Christmas. Marketing is not evil, or sleazy. It is the tool through which we communicate to others that we offer good and meanningful products that will improve their quality of life.

Spam is not an unwanted email. Spam is an email that does not, in any way, provide value to us. Nigerians telling me my rich Uncle left me $5,000,000 is not spam if I, indeed, had a rich Nigerian uncle. But I don't, so their message has no value to me. You do are not spamming people when you cold email then, just like you don't bother people when you stretch out your hand and smile! The number one sales technique of shaking hands and smilling is equal to sending a friendly cold email.

Is cold emailing spam then? Not at all. Again, it depends on the value you are providing. Say I have a product that helps people who have disabled children. The product has been successfully tested in improving the quality of life of the parents and the children. Its downright awesome. Oh, and its an iOS app. I buy a list of the emails of people who have disabled children. Then I proceed to send them a message campaign highlighting how my app will make their lives better. Twenty five people respond and buy the app. Ten of those people who bought the app use it every day and it does, indeed, improve their lives. One email message improved their life. Is it spam? No. Because it provided value to them. But hold on. I'm not finished. Say I sent them a monthly newsletter of things they can do to improve the quality of life for their disabled children. Right on the middle of the newsletter is an advertisement for my app. Am I spamming then? No. I am providing value to them.

So, all those of you who put down marketing people because its sleazy to sell, read the following:

You would not even be a programmer if some marketing guy had not managed to successfully market computers. And that took a lot of mail campaigns (real mail). Some of it was junk, yes. But a lot of it provided value. So much in fact, that you probably learned how to code from some book or manual sold on one of the catalogs mailed, or handed out in computer stores. I personally benefited from this, because some salesman in some electronics shop convinced my parents to buy me a C64 instead of a Nintendo! Nowdays, I can provide my family with a good quality of life because one salesman decided to sell my folks on a computer. Not spam. Not sleazy. But very valuable.


Spam is not an unwanted email.

As a professional in this field, I assume you are aware that "spam" is also known as "UCE", which stands for "unsolicited commercial email," and "UBE", which stands for "unsolicited bulk email." Note how "unsolicited" is right there in both of them.

The number one sales technique of shaking hands and smilling is equal to sending a friendly cold email.

The difference between "shaking hands and smiling" and what you are describing is that shaking hands and smiling is something you do one-to-one. Buying a list and blasting email to it is not. It's not personal, it's not individual. It's more like using a dialer to blast faxes to fax machines than any one-on-one salesmanship.

And more importantly, you're not allowing people to opt out. There are a range of body language indicators and other social cues that people can use to tell you your smile and handshake are not wanted. Someone who happens to end up on a list you bought has no such recourse.

hold on. I'm not finished. Say I sent them a monthly newsletter of things they can do to improve the quality of life for their disabled children. Right on the middle of the newsletter is an advertisement for my app. Am I spamming then?

Yes. Yes you are. Ethical marketers build their list via opt-in mechanisms. Your mechanism is the opposite: you assume everyone on your purchased list wants your messages, and force them to opt out if they do not. In other words, you are creating work for the people on your list who don't want your messages. Which means that for those folks, not only are you not adding value to their lives, you are subtracting value by creating a new problem they have to deal with where none existed before.

Marketing, believe or not, is what puts your food on your table. Not your precious code... You would not even be a programmer if some marketing guy had not managed to successfully market computers...

In my experience, the people who shout most loudly about their sterling ethics and critical importance are usually the least ethical and least important. YMMV, of course.


As a professional in this field, I assume you are aware that "spam" is also known as "UCE", which stands for "unsolicited commercial email," and "UBE", which stands for "unsolicited bulk email." Note how "unsolicited" is right there in both of them.

Good point. Unsolicited communication is not positive on certain situations. Though by your tone, every form of unsolicited commercial communication is unwanted. If this were the case, Google would be dirt poor due to their ads system being a failure.

The difference between "shaking hands and smiling" and what you are describing is that shaking hands and smiling is something you do one-to-one. Buying a list and blasting email to it is not. It's not personal, it's not individual. It's more like using a dialer to blast faxes to fax machines than any one-on-one salesmanship.

Sending a personalized email to each person in a group of people is the same as shaking their hand as smiling. It is personal, and it is individual. You may be confusing it with other techniques you may use. But my experience and focus shows that personalized and individual communication is not to be confused with spam. And not, its not like sending out faxes like a madman.

And more importantly, you're not allowing people to opt out. There are a range of body language indicators and other social cues that people can use to tell you your smile and handshake are not wanted. Someone who happens to end up on a list you bought has no such recourse.

Where does it say that people cannot opt out? Again, you seem to be approaching this from an uninformed angle. And you are right. People do end up in malining lists. Is it bad? No. Should they be able to opt out? Definitely. I receive a lot of catalogs by email and regular mail. My child has personally benefited from me buying from such catalogs (she has asthma). Is it of no value then? Is it unlike a friendly salesman coming by my home and showing me a product that will benefit my child? No.

Yes. Yes you are. Ethical marketers build their list via opt-in mechanisms. Your mechanism is the opposite: you assume everyone on your purchased list wants your messages, and force them to opt out if they do not. In other words, you are creating work for the people on your list who don't want your messages. Which means that for those folks, not only are you not adding value to their lives, you are subtracting value by creating a new problem they have to deal with where none existed before.

Do not even dare to insult me publicly my calling me unethical. If you cannot provide a coherent arguement then do not post. Such attitude only shows that you are unequipped to handle a mature discussion.

Now, to refute your point:

Ethics vary from people to people, culture to culture, markets to markets. You cannot tie yourself down to ethics because you will never succeed at being 100% ethical. I'm not saying you should not make it a priority to be ethical, but that you should be pragmmatic about it. I do not take lightly when someone stands up and screams about being an "Ethical Marketer." It shows that they have no clue about different cultures and society. Of course, you should never do anything illegal and/or immoral. But ethics are too wide to comply with all. What one should aim for is to judge their marketing in the following manner: Am I providing value to people? Am I violating their privacy? Am I abusing their trust?

Opt-in marketing, otherwise known as permission based marketing is one of the many techniques you can use to generate a mailing list of pre-qualified customers. But in your "Ethical Marketer" world, how would a business create such list if they cannot, by your definition, even do a cold mailing on a given demographic?

Opt-in marketing works when you already have a marketing campaign running. But you will always, always end up communicating unsolicitied commercial messages because, and pay attention, everything you say, do, or write about your business is a commercial message. So if I submit a blog post about how I wrote a book that benefits startups, and provide a link for them to buy it, then, by your definition, I'm being unethical because they did not opt-in. So we can go ahead and call patio11 an unethical marketer because he posts about his business from time to time. We should also call every startup out there who is trying to gain some traction by writing good informative posts about the problems they are aiming to fix a spammer. Because its unethical due to me not being able to opt in!

In my experience, the people who shout most loudly about their sterling ethics and critical importance are usually the least ethical and least important. YMMV, of course.

I've been told worse insults by better people.

Edit

I visited your website. http://jasonlefkowitz.net/ Its full of unsolicited commercial messages.

You have:

On the bottom right corner an advertisement for a fonts website. I did not solicit that advertisement. How do I opt out, even though I have Ad-block?

On your about page, you have about 16 different unsolicited marketing messages. You coul dhave just written a nice about page about who you are. But you chose to spam (by your definition) people with every link to your business.

And I know you will say that I decided to visit the page, thus I solicited it. Not quite. I visited your page to learn more about you. Not about what your business does. I sincerely took my time to see who you were and where you are coming from. Hey, maybe this guy has been dealing with asshole marketers all his life. Maybe I can help him out in any way. But no. All you did was talk about your business, so I would subscribe to your mailing list, Facebook page, twitter account, AOL IM, Flickr, LinkedIn, and blog.

Still, I wish you good luck. And do send me unsolicited email from time to time. Address in profile.


Your comments demonstrate serious lack of understanding of business ethics, email marketing, marketing in general.

Your example is very clearly spam. It's unsolicited commercial email, which is THE definition of spam. Your idea that the spam is not a spam if it "provides value" is totally ridiculous. It's very arrogant of you to think that you can decide what will create value to your recipients. If viagra pushers believe that you need those pills, it's not a spam?

There is a big difference between bottom right corner ad on a website and your spam. To equate those things is extremely ignorant. With spam you are creating work for your recipient. He/she has to open your email, evaluate it and delete it or mark it as spam. You are forcing your recipients to spend time and effort to deal with your message. It's not possible to ignore them like they can ignore a bottom right corner ad on a website.

I'm pretty sure that the world and the IT would still reach current levels of civilization without intrusive and unethical marketing such as your spam, unethical phone and fax marketing, etc. There are ethical ways to market.

If you've "been told worse insults by better people" maybe you should seriously reconsider whether all those better people had a point.


Your comments demonstrate serious lack of understanding of business ethics, email marketing, marketing in general.

Your comment shows a serious lack of understanding in general. Its not smart to judge a person by one comment and dare insult them publicly. You don't know me, or anything I do. But I will tell you one thing. Don't even think you can come in a try to put me down like that. I do not deal with bullies. Also, read the site rules. People here value mature discussions, not insult fests.

If you've "been told worse insults by better people" maybe you should seriously reconsider whether all those better people had a point.

Some of them did. That is why, rather than randomly attacking people and insulting them, I've changed into someone who is able to see from their POV. I'm not perfect (by far), but I do try and help everybody be happy. I don't go around insulting anyone over discussions. Much less, when from my post, I have already receieved emails of people getting positive results from applying my advice.

Have a good life.


On your about page, you have about 16 different unsolicited marketing messages. You coul dhave just written a nice about page about who you are. But you chose to spam (by your definition) people with every link to your business.

I wouldn't go as far as calling those unsolicited marketing messages -- This is his personal 'about' page, and most web publishers with their own site include such information.

And the 60x20px Typekit image is hardly as intrusive as receiving daily unsolicited emails about irrelevant products and services.


I agree with the opening but you went off the deep end afterwards.

Bulk cold emailing is spamming. There's no way to dress that up. The linked article is talking about taking the time to create a personalised message sent to just one person, not optimising the CTR on your spam.

Secondly, buying a list of emails like that is not only unethical, but in many countries is illegal. Even if it is permissible there's normally a lot of hoops to jump through.

If that's not enough to convince you, if enough users flag your email as spam then you get heavily penalised. I recently did business with a company and only noticed today that my spam folder is full of emails from them - that's definitely gonna hurt the CTR.


Good points. In the USA (where I reside) buying mailing lists is legal, and common industry practice. I still say that bulk cold emailing is not neccesarily spam. It all depends on the value you are providing people.


What you do is spam, by definition. If you're not a mind reader, you have no way of knowing what people want or will value by looking at their email addresses. If you are a mind reader OTOH, then please drop me a call at +36 20 ... oh, wait you already know it. :)


> In the USA (where I reside) buying mailing lists is legal, and common industry practice.

I just want to add for anyone in the US reading this that it isn't quite this clear cut, and you have to abide by various regulations when sending unsolicited bulk mail. If you aren't careful you could still end up in trouble. IANAL.


> It all depends on the value you are providing people.

Since value is subjective based on the perceiver, you're basically saying that it's spam if the recipient decides it's spam.


Sorry good sir. While your original message presents very useful tips that can be used for good or bad, unsolicited/unwanted commercial email IS spam.

Just like the bunch of crap that one receives in a regular mailbox and goes straight to the trash bin without reading.

Marketing being sleazy or not has nothing to do with it.


The logical subject is spammy, and most users will ignore it because of that.


That's the point. A good message subject is not spammy.


TL;DR: Spam is most effective when it doesn't look like spam.


> Re your enquiry about our awesome product!

I get a lot of spam with this type of shady subject line, seems like a well known fact.


A good anecdote has non-obvious value.


There was a lot of non-obvious information in his comment. No need to be a douche.


The reason this works is simply because it stands out. Not a lot of people email other people mini presentations, which makes it stand out. This raises the chance something will be done with it. Just like regular marketing.

I suspect that if everyone started doing this, success rates would drop quickly.

Congrats to the OP for finding a way to stand out, but this isn't something ground-breaking.

I have some comments on the actual email. It bugged me.

> WPTouch is a plugin that actually mobile optimizes wordpress blogs to enhance the viewing experience for your readers on phones and tablets. When you have a few minutes would love to connect to get this taken care of for you. Alternatively, you can just download the plugin here.

These are not proper sentences. For me that would be reason enough to dismiss your product entirely.

I have some very shallow reasoning for that: it shows that you didn't proofread the email. That could mean you don't think this email is very important. If that's the case, why should I find it important? It could also mean you don't generally pay much attention to "details" like that. If that's the case I'd be concerned if this show trough in your actual product.


Great point about that quote. To me it sounds like an SEO salesman with the use of buzzwords instead of actually defining what it does and why it's important (mobile users accounting for x% of the web and growing). I know we're being short and sweet, but give me a relevant example where enhancing the user experience in this way greatly improved a site's viewership or sales numbers.

Then when I get to the "When you have a few minutes.." part, I'm completely gone. If it's so complicated that I need your help and I don't know the value, I'm not going to do it. The following sentence about "Or you can just get it here," just emphasizes this is a sales pitch, less you actually caring about my audience and the UX of my site.

I think it would have been smarter to say "It's easy to grab and install the plugin on your own, but we'd love to help get you connected if you have any problems or questions!"

Like someone in another thread said today, A/B testing is great and all, but just because you have an overall winner doesn't mean it's actually the most effective. It's just the most effective method you tested.


Mini-presentations have been used for years.


Sending cold emails shouldn't be the black art that is supposedly is. If you need to improve your emailing skills (cold or otherwise), you really need to be answering one question. Why? Why are you sending the email and why should the recipient read it?

It doesn't really matter what your goal is. It normally falls in to the following buckets:

- start relationship (cold opener)

- maintain relationship (information/email series)

- click on a link (signup/purchase)

All these are about persuasion. Many of Caldini's principles still apply: Reciprocity, Commitment and Consistency, Social Proof, Authority, Liking and Scarcity. (I would add Empathy to that list). However, more importantly, you should be providing something of true value otherwise, you're just spamming.


I totally agree.

I have an article about how to try to pack that in a brief email: http://www.ashmaurya.com/2012/08/cold-emailing/

Sometimes, though, you are better off making a call. http://blog.asmartbear.com/cold-calling.html


I fail to see what exactly is different from the other emails filling up my junk mail folder? They are also few lines long, sent from a person unknown to me, refer to my site(s) and contain links to external sites that have suggestions for optimizations. Many of them refer to me with my name, either taken from whois info or from the site.


Yes, I agree...it's just spam. I certainly would never respond to this spammy crap. In fact I now never respond to any company spamming me, because in general they tend to be evil in other ways and provide a crappy service. If I want something, I'll do my own research.


This just seems like an ad for the bContext app. There's a link to an article about cold-emailing prospects that had a lot more meat, imo. http://life-longlearner.com/how-to-cold-email-prospects/


Looks like a good technique, people are curious when something has their name on it.

Now, to Dan: please don't install WPTouch. Your site looks fine on mobile, just increasing padding a little and using a 16px font by default would make it perfect.

It's not as offensive as OnSwipe, but it would make your website look like a settings page out of iPhoneOS 1.0, with lots of wasted space and glossy huge topbar. That's not how you "optimize" a website for mobile.


Are ppt + audio more efficient than a 4 lines email ? The author seems to suggest that. I'd like more proof however than a single trial on 28 leads.


I don't think so. I don't want to listen to a person saying "uh" every other word.


Its an interesting idea, but I'd suggest picking up the phone where possible.

My thought is people respond better when you stand out, and you stand out when you break out of the 'default' method for doing something. For example:

- Phone somebody who most people fire an email to.

- Applying for a job? Send the responsible person a paper copy of your CV/Resume on good quality paper; hand deliver it if you can.

Of course, I'm sure it will work differently for different 'target' people.


Unless the position is a paper graphic designer, I'd advice strongly against sending your CV on mail. This will not make you stand out, it'll take your CV straight to the trash.


Also: Bill Shakespeare didn't write novels. Just sayin'.


The cheap shots here notwithstanding (it's spam! link's down!) I think this is an awesome example of how to do bizdev cold emailing better.

It's personalized and targeted and it shows what's wrong and how to fix it. The sender put time and thought into it, and if I had a blog, I would absolutely be interested in making sure it shows up correctly for readers on any device.

Thanks for sharing Scott.


"502 Bad Gateway"

Good enough reason as any to give this idea a miss, the email is a bit too cold if it's dead


I agree. bcontext.com is a no-go for me if a little HN attention brings them down.


Ironically, your presentation about his mobile-unfriendliness gets cut in half when I try to watch it on my iPhone.


Is this an ad for bcontext?




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