Oh man.

I JUST finished a blog post draft about exactly this. Probably gonna publish it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, so keep an eye on my blog [0].

Going back to your question, I'm exactly the same. 14 years of experience, never progressed to leadership. Got the same ghosting as you.

My advice would be: keep looking. Eventually, you will either find a company that will accept your experience, or you will find an a-typical company that doesn't care too much about titles (the latter happened to me).

Feel free to reach out (contacts are in the blog) if you want to discuss it further.

[0] https://www.yieldcode.blog/

Just published it, in case you want to read [0]

[0] https://www.yieldcode.blog/post/the-curse-of-the-senior-engi...

Hey, I just read it.

Very good overview of the situation. My experience matches yours pretty closely. One difference is that I received less feedback, but I think I also applied to fewer jobs (I didn't count, but I think it was fewer than 100).

One issue particular to me is that, even though I've been doing freelancing for all these years, I never specialised and I also haven't mastered a specific deliverable, for several reasons, including fear of choosing something that would become obsolete or fear of boredom. So my profile is light on depth.

I think I now need to do some soul-searching and find a path I can commit to. I think I have good general problem-solving skills, but I lack expertise in one particular thing, which seems to be more in demand. Or maybe I'm bad at selling my strengths (also because I've been bad at seeing them).

I've been rambling a little with this comment. Anyway, I appreciate you commenting and sharing the article.

Without knowing more about you it seems like you are having issues communicating your experience and how valuable that is.

We just closed two positions on my team with that exact requirement (BE + Infra) and it was not super easy as most people with that experience are looking for "higher" positions than individual contributors. A lot of places need good IC's who can execute so I doubt the issue is that you have too much experience.

I would try to re-frame your experience as being one who can guide, mentor and help elevate the whole team you are part of.

Similar position here, except I'm a midlevel and have a disability. I have absolutely seen some bias where they expect there is something wrong with you for not moving up. I also agree that most places want narrow specialty expertise in at least one area - something I also lack. I'm completely fucked at this point. I just need to hold onto my current job until I die or retire. But I absolutely hate it and I get bad reviews.

I hope you find a path that is better for you.

I'm also doing some soul-searching trying to find something that I can sustain long-term. I've been all-over the place, because of indecision. I do enjoy programming, I just found it hard to pick something to get really good at. Or probably I don't yet know how to show what I'm good at. For example, I've used more than 10 programming languages, so I'm good at picking up new tech, but maybe I don't convey that well enough.

If I asked all of your previous coworkers, would they say that you're fun to work with?

Some probably would, some wouldn't.

I've had issues relating to people and that's one reason why I tended to become more of the lone wolf type on projects.

I used to be more rigid and arrogant on certain occasions. I think I've loosened up in that respect.

What have you done to improve your ability to relate to people?

Meditation and complementary practices that helped me relax and become more aware of my thought patterns and habits. Therapy also helped.

Basically, I become aware of unhealthy habits and attitudes. In some cases, just becoming aware of them allowed me to stop doing them. I also learned to set boundaries and communicate them in a non-aggressive but firm way. In the past I found it hard or next to impossible to do this.

Frankly, I still have the feeling there are people who find me intimidating, but I don't know what to do about it.

> Frankly, I still have the feeling there are people who find me intimidating, but I don't know what to do about it.

If you did know what to do about it, what would you do?

Do it?

Or maybe I should just accept that not everyone likes me or is comfortable with me. I'm not saying this as to be an asshole, but you can't jive with everyone and it's futile to try.

I wouldn't spend time dwelling on this. You're right & it's not possible to work well with everyone. The original post indicated difficulty getting to the interview stage. We have basically no information about your social skills or if that's the cause of anything.

Fun to work with is probably more useful to know than anything about your high school experience for a variety of reasons.

Both are data points to measure social status. Both are dependent on the group (I've certainly had the experience of having more fun with some coworkers than others). And neither are actionable.

And I don't think either are all that relevant to this post.

It’s not measuring social status. It’s measuring social skill — something that can be learned.

If everybody (or the majority of people) you work with says you’re not fun to work with, that’s a decent sign that you’re not fun to work with.

Why would I want to work with someone who’s not fun to work with?

Hard to say without seeing your CV.

My LinkedIn is in my profile.

I wouldn't say it's the reason, but wouldn't mention the career breaks and especially the explanations of burnout and anxiety. While these are quite common conditions, I think explicitly mentioning them would still be considered a red flag for many employers. If you do mention the career breaks, I would put them outside of the companies. Having them listed under a company is strange unless it was an leave of absence granted, but even so probably not worth mentioning as you wouldn't have been working during that time anyway.

I added the career breaks, because I've received the feedback that gaps in my CV look bad.

However, I just removed them from being under a specific company or job.

Market