Respectfully, the last thing I'm going to do is put in work with my ex wife. When the kids are with me I'll do whatever I want. Those types of discussions are one of the reasons why we're no longer together.
I don't understand all this drama. My kids have reached teenage without many horrors or fights between any of us, and I think that we're all pretty normal.
Speaking as someone who's been on the child side of such a relationship: be careful not to berate your children over what they do when with her, and don't put the other parent down in front of your kids. They'll grow up policing their own behaviour to avoid a parent-parent confrontation and that might trigger anxiety issues.
