I acknowledged several times that there a number of special circumstances that allowed us to do this, and that it probably wouldn't work for the majority of folks, but I think it would work for more people than you're seeming to imply.
I also made it clear that my comment wasn't intended to cover every single detail (like my wife's parents... and thousands of other details). I would have exceeded the max HN comment length several times over if I tried to cover everything. That's why I said I was happy to talk if anyone had any questions.
Regarding my wife's parents, they also live close by, and I suspect we will be involved in their care as well, but they also have other (adult) kids in the area, so it makes sense for us to divide and conquer a bit. Our relationship with my wife's parents would not have worked in this setting though (which isn't to say we aren't close... we see them at least a couple times per month, but living in close proximity wouldn't have worked). This was absolutely a conversation we had with everyone involved though (including my in-laws) before we moved forward with the plan.
Hey - can you please not post like this? I realize that the topic is an emotional one and am sure you have good reasons for it, but it's against the site guidelines because of the effect it tends to have on discussion. Note especially this guideline:
"Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith."
Usually when people react like that to a comment, it's because they have some important experience of their own that doesn't match with what the comment is describing. In that case a good way to respond is to share the relevant parts of your own experience, so the rest of us can have access to both. This is the best way for us to learn (which is why we're here) - and it also helps us learn at a meta level, that life is big and we need enough space to hear about all experiences.
