I used to learn web development after work, but homeschooling my kids doesn't leave me time for that anymore.
I'm curious how devs with kids at home manage the current situation. The constant multitasking stresses me a lot, I feel incapable of doing anything tech-related that would involve deep focus.
Does cleaning up the flat count as side project :D?
I have a kindergartener and left my job at the end of March to volunteer on COVID efforts. Now, a month and a half into it, I work from ~6a-12p ET, then take over homeschooling while my wife works from 1-6p. When working, we're in the attic and not to be disturbed, and we keep pretty strict about that.
I've always said that working parents know how to make the most of their 8-hour days in the office, and that's only been amplified. In general, I'm pedal-to-the-metal for my 5-6 hours a day, and then have our family lunch hour to recover before the not-really-relaxing homeschooling begins. We'll get a spot of work in most evenings, half-an-hour of TV, and then it's to bed to start it again the next day.
As for my wife and I, we're both mostly exhausted and guilty – guilty that we're not getting more done at work (even though I'm volunteering!), not doing a better job on homeschooling, etc.
When it's time to get a new job on my end, I'm really nervous about how it's going to go. I'd typically be doing 10-plus-hour days as I ramp up on new teams and material, but that's just impossible these days. In a normal world, I had lots of arguments for why a business should want to hire working parents, but right now it's really tough to justify.
My kid is great, and certainly not a "tough" child by any real measure, but still... Camps and schools can't open up soon enough.
We're fortunate we both still have jobs and can work from home, but doing so full-time while caring for a demanding 3yo, homeschooling an inquisitive 8yo with ADHD and cooking/ cleaning/ washing/ housework; we feel like incompetent plate-spinners. We too take it in shifts, up at 6am, to bed gone midnight.
I've never felt more knackered or guilty. Guilty neither of our kids (nor our employer) get the best of us. Guilty at feeling hard done by when we're not really: we've friends who've lost their livelihood and know health workers are risking their lives. We know it ends, but man... not soon enough.
I feel you. I felt so guilty I had to clear this up with my boss. Thankfully it turned out they are pretty understanding and this won't go in any performance review of anyone in this situation (both parents work standard office hours, kid at home, etc). IF the business survives the pandemic and lockdown, that is.
Well, I'm not a teacher (I lead a USDR team), but they really do. When restrictions started, my wife and I set up twice-daily Zooms for our son's class while the schools figured out what to do. It was exhausting, but eventually our kid's teacher started joining them and now has taken them over. She also conducts a dozen "small group" sessions throughout the week, and juggles the wildness and lack of attention of kindergarteners with the responsibility of raising her own newborn.
It's cray for everyone, just in different shapes and sizes.
USDR is the U.S. Digital Response[0] – a band of volunteers (over 5000 folks have volunteered, maybe a few hundred are active), mostly technologists, who are working pro-bono on behalf of state, city, county, and local governments across the US to help improve COVID response and recovery efforts.
My team is a couple dozen folks who typically dive into issues relating to internal challenges governments have wrangling their data into shape so they can make decisions. We've worked with NYC on their PPE crisis, Pennsylvania on hospital capacity tracking, Oakland on homeless encampments, and several others. Sometimes it's a quick python script to automate data ingestion, other times it's a complete web app.
In our case, most of it is private/internal, so it's not sexy work, but it really feels like we're having an impact.
I have a full time job that has moved to remote and my spouse is on Zoom calls most of the day for work. The only “side project” I have time for is managing my kids’ remote learning. They are 7 and 9 yrs old. There are so many links and logins and forms and downloads and uploads. I’ve learned. Lot about how Google Classrooms could be redesigned to improve independence of younger learners. Candidly, this is very difficult and my mental health is taking a serious hit.
Well, I don't know the policy of your company, but at mine we've been encouraged to take some days if possible.
Not only for mental health, but also to avoid that everyone take time off at the same time. On another hand we have 30+ days per year, I guess it's a different story if you only have 20 days or less.
I can take time off and I did last week. However, I ended up just doing pretty much the same thing as when I was working, so it was a waste. What I really need is some time completely to myself, just sitting outside or something. It's my most precious resource right now and very hard to come by.
I don't think they are, in most cases. I worked from home in the before time, so in theory not much has changed. In practice I have three kids, and it's a struggle just to maintain my baseline productivity.
In a way this is a relief to hear. I keep reading up on the excess productivity of others, while I'm pulling my hair out trying to manage normal work and my kids when on paper nothing much has changed given that I was WFH before this. It sucks, but I'm glad I'm not alone.
One of the best things I heard from my company's CEO when they moved everyone over to WFH was 'your productivity is going to go down. It just is. It doesn't matter if you were fully WFH before, it's going to go down. And that's ok. And I've told your managers to expect it, and to not let you stress over it.'
Then leadership modified the metrics that bonuses are calculated on, so that the slowdown wouldn't affect our ability to get them.
Same here. I had to clear this situation up with my boss, my stress levels are going through the roof and I just can't get things done (and every time I get "in the zone", I hear a thud and my baby has hurt herself again).
Thankfully it turns out the bosses understand this situation and expect a massive productivity decline. I feel I've taken a load off my chest by bringing it up.
Still feeling stressed, and of course, my company may tank, making the whole issue moot. I'm not sure I'm up for interviewing with the current situation, either...
My last real side project halted when my second kid was born almost two years ago. I likely won’t have time or energy to do another one for another two years, regardless of quarantine status.
Young kids are an 80 hour per week job. The only way anyone has time for paying work normally is school, daycare/relatives, or one partner dedicated to child-raising. Even for the non-child-caring parent the kids fill in the remaining 30-40 hours after the "real" job and commute. I don't think most people have much left after being switched "on" 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, week after week.
How does anyone get stuff done beyond the requisite 40, with kids? Two proven strategies: 1) ignore the kids a lot, 2) hire help. That's what all those famous old guys who discovered all kinds of cool stuff or wrote amazing literature or philosophized or whatever, while also having kids, did. Probably there are super-humans out there who manage without doing those things, but I'm not convinced they're common enough to count on or to give much consideration. Nb some people will hire help but not really want to tell people they have—don't assume someone blogging about raising kids while doing 100 other things, or crushing it at work, hasn't hired help just because they don't mention it. Decent odds they have.
This is likely not the right answer. A lot of those "famous people" are horrible parents. Makes you wonder why they chose to have kids to begin with...
I feel I have the grasp of the material but I cannot teach them about it. So things like long division are done with minimal explanation. I think I did okay with multidigit multiplication (ab * xy). In general, I feel the time I have spent explaining stuff to her is insufficient.
Today she said she does not know how to write an essay. I kinda fudged it for the case in front of her (Intro, your points, an opposing point or two, conclusion). I think there is a better structure in teaching writing 'essays' - I just dont know how to teach that.
The "5 paragraph essay" (intro, 3 points, conclusion) is basically what you outlined but without the opposing points section, which sound valuable to include.
I've had to put my side gig (building guitars) on hold. My wife and I both have day jobs, and we have a two year old. We take turns working and parenting, and it's not unusual for one or both of us to be up till 2 AM finishing work.
I'm genuinely happy for everyone who has planted a new garden, taken up a new hobby, started a new software project, etc. For those of us who can't take our kids to daycare or school right now, though, quarantine has meant less time to do the things we already had to do.
You're not alone. And yes, cleaning up counts as a side project.
Deep focus is really difficult. Without a checklist it's hard to get anything done, and there are a number of interruptions.
As for learning / focus - typically that happens after they're in bed, and the time gets eaten from sleep, but I haven't been able to dig into anything deeper than a Raspberry Pi tinkering project.
My hobby used to be painting collectible miniatures (you know, Warhammer and the like) but since the lockdown I'm barely able to work, let alone spend time on hobbies. My baby takes all my spare time.
> I'm curious how devs with kids at home manage the current situation
I manage the situation by stressing a lot and panicking. Hope that helps!
Timebox your side project learning when the kids are asleep. (Even 30 mins a day adds up). Be sure to communicate with your significant other / spouse what desires are for this time and be clear about your time boundaries. Make sure you end when you say you're going to and reconnect with your spouse.
I'm curious how devs with kids at home manage the current situation. The constant multitasking stresses me a lot, I feel incapable of doing anything tech-related that would involve deep focus.
Does cleaning up the flat count as side project :D?