If it is mere contribution to the discussion, it is quite badly handled. If they did not intend to rebut me, they could have posted it as a top level comment instead of as a reply. If they wished to engage me without coming across as dismissive, the framing of it needs a lot of work.
Your comment also comes across as subtly dismissive and accusatory due to what you choose to comment on here. If you only wish to engage in discussion, why feel the need to criticize my reply? Why not say something constructive in response to my top level comment above?
Women, people of color, the poor and other disenfranchised groups face this sort of thing a great deal. It is rather maddening as it puts people in a no win situation. Such groups get no respect. When they complain of it, it is yet another thing to criticise them for.
It would be nice if the world stopped such insidious patterns.
No offense, but I think you're misinterpreting a normal pattern of discussion on this site. jpatokal's comment was pretty clearly not trying to dismiss your experience as invalid but simply contributed a similar story.
You seem to be reading a lot into some very innocuous responses.
I read jpatokal's response as simple addressing your point that the original author didn't make his point. There was no explicit criticism in the post. Several of us now have tried to point out that we didn't detect any implicit criticism either, but you've take all of these very friendly responses as further attacks.
As far as I can tell, nobody is being hostile or making assumptions here except for you.
And yet the pile on of criticism continues while I get downvoted for calmly replying.
I was asked a question. I answered. That has been downvoted and more and more people pile on to explain to me the error of my ways for answering the question in good faith, yet no one seems to see how that pattern is inherently dismissive of me.
Your comment also comes across as subtly dismissive and accusatory due to what you choose to comment on here. If you only wish to engage in discussion, why feel the need to criticize my reply? Why not say something constructive in response to my top level comment above?
Women, people of color, the poor and other disenfranchised groups face this sort of thing a great deal. It is rather maddening as it puts people in a no win situation. Such groups get no respect. When they complain of it, it is yet another thing to criticise them for.
It would be nice if the world stopped such insidious patterns.