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Maybe manager says "So it's not just me thinking that", or "I've noticed guys can be pretty hard on you at times. Since you haven't brought it up, I thought you're ok with it"...

I can think of million other things that might or might not happen.

And I know only one way to really find out - try and see. Are there other ways?




Suppose the manager has those reactions. What then? They'll sit down with the team and have the "don't be mean" talk? I'm just not sure I see that working well. That seems more likely to breed resentment even if it resolves the superficial "combative" behavior.

I'd probably try talking to the individual team members 1:1. As uncomfortable as that would be, I think it is a better bet than having it come from the manager.


Good point. If I am as mature an adult as I believe myself to be, I ought to be able to have a peaceful conversation about this with a couple of coworkers individually. Definitely would be better than putting them on the defensive by sending a manager after them.




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