I took the quiz from that book -- boy that was depressing. It showed that I had a habit of explaining all good things as temporary, specific, and external, while bad things as permanent, pervasive, and personal. I'm well aware that this inconsistency defies logic. But that doesn't stop it from disrupting my life :(
I spent 6 months reading every book I could find on self-esteem, depression, etc. The Amazon Top 50 and then some. It was porn: I liked the idea of self-improvement, but lacked the motivation to do it, and after a while, reading the books just made me feel worse and sustained the depression.
I feel ya. It's almost like the self-help book industry preys on our vulnerability and appetite for this sort of information, though I certainly hope the authors set out with better intentions.
Please do be blunt! I'm more than willing to have my feelings hurt to learn something that may be helpful here.
That said, I did give a very long and audible sigh when reading your post. It feels like a cop out, but perhaps one day I'll have to accept my own mediocrity.
I hazard a guess that it's failing to live up to what you imagine. And then you feel like a failure. Mediocre. And when you give up, you feel like it's a cop-out.
It seems that you interpreted what I wrote through a filter of that sort of thinking. When I suggested that you give up on your current pattern of thinking you tell me it feels like a cop-out. It's the same pattern, as far as I can tell.
What you're dreaming up are intangible, speculative things with no basis in reality. That's fine if you feel good about it. But I don't think you do. You seem to be rejecting it on various levels.
What I am saying is link your thinking to tangibles. Test your ideation against reality. Stop pondering monks on misty mountain tops for a while. If you could imagine those monks with any clarity, you would already have had the experience. Instead - go and talk to monks. Go and visit mountain tops. Fill your mind with new experience.
Don't ponder this any further. Just take the first steps to seeking out new experiences.
I think you did not get what ngom said here correctly. I got the feeling that he suggests travelling around the country, walking in nature, running a sustainable startup is not mediocre at all; they are all rare and outstanding activities not many people really do.
To me it seems like you have a Mastermind personality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTJ), one which is pretty hard to deal with. Execute your plans, not your imagination.
Pick up a new platform... Java tends to drain, come back ready to learn something new.
I've learned several -- it's just by circumstance that Java happens to pay the bills at the moment, though I can't say I was substantially happier when I wasn't writing Java.
And if you aren't, get some more sun, by your comments, your body is probably wanting a shift into earlier hours?
But it's so awfully cold in the morning! (cue the criticism about lack of willpower)
Also, set some lower goals for yourself in smaller tasks and get them done quickly.
Will do. I've tried a bit of this recently but the level of satisfaction felt disproportionately small... but that could just be my mental filter.
Also, play some Red Dead Redemption or your video game of choice. They can really help reduce stress and provide escapes to clear your head after a day of work or when you need to shift to relax.
As a former video game addict, I'm terrified of a relapse.
Maybe I didn't say so explicitly, but it should be clear that I suffer from a lack of motivation and direction, and really have a lack of faith in myself.
Definitely working on that Internet addiction. HN is so much tougher to give up than other sites though!
One side-benefit of the absurd working hours I put in over the years was that it took away all my time and broke my obsessive gaming habit. I suffer withdrawal symptoms from time to time when I see other people having a nice time at their battlestations, but I like to think I've learned some self-control.
Drink the milk, but this is one of these things where you'd have to drink like 2 gallons of milk per day to get an equivalent of one pill. Easier to just take the vitamin
Calcium is more easily and more readily absored with vitamin d, which is why it's added. The converse is also slightly true, though not to the same extent.
not fair - they don't add that here in Germany afaik.
Vitamin D is critical for the mood, but it requires sun for the body to produce it, and sun is rare in all northern areas, especially in the winter.
I'm actually quite aware that I'm distorting things with these "bullshit excuses" but they seem so believable, much more so than their negation! It'll probably take deliberate practice to unlearn this habit.
