Interestingly, I feel the same way about my ADHD. I distinctly remember a Calculus test in which I learned what I was supposed to have learned through study and in class (neither of which I cared for or participated in) by looking at the context of several questions and answers and reverse engineering the process without having been taught it (or without having paid attention to the teaching). My grades weren't great, but my test scores kept me afloat.
And now that I program, I do so very differently than most people, but there are times when I'm in my stride (for example, pitching to investors or juggling the pieces of managing a team) where I feel at home. Like no one can touch me.
>And now that I program, I do so very differently than most people, but there are times when I'm in my stride (for example, pitching to investors or juggling the pieces of managing a team) where I feel at home. Like no one can touch me.
Be careful with that -- Adult ADHD is often accompanied with delusions of grandeur. I say this from personal experience: I'll have a great idea and think it's the most awesome thing in the world, and my friends are kind of "meh". A few days later, I look back on it and say "What was I thinking?" ADHD can give you a false sense of security / accomplishment in the moment, so always be sure to get someone else to check your work. You may come up with some elegant, awesome hack to fix something... only to find there was an API in a library you already use that does the exact same thing and you just missed it in the documentation because you were so "hyperfocused" (another hallmark of adult ADHD) on fixing the problem.
That said, it can also be a great asset: an ADHD person who is in one of these "zones" can be incredibly inspirational to a team. Irrational confidence isn't always a bad thing if you're staring down a tough deadline and need to motivate your team. Just be careful you're not making an idiot out of yourself too often :)
The grandeur is very real; I'm not sure what of that comes with ADHD and what just comes with the territory of running a startup.
One day you're taking over the world, one day you're totally fucked. I've actually been tracking my mood at the beginning, middle, and end of each day along with our metrics and any other thing that could sway my moods.
My conclusion is that my mood swings are completely, 100% irrational. I try to temper them on both sides. When I feel like we're taking over the world, it's a good time to talk to investors/do sales stuff. When I'm completely depressed, it's a good time to focus on all of the things that are broken with the product.
I don't know if that's ideal, but I think it's working? Who knows.
You are thinking like a mathematician. When we are kids we are taught that math involves memorizing algorithms and formulas but when you get up to big-boy math you realize that no one can memorize all that shit, but if you are familiar with the territory of math you can figure out the parts you're missing; and only familiarity with the territory lets you generate new proofs, conjectures, and applications. Unfortunately educators confuse "memorizing facts and formulas" with "becoming familiar with the territory" because it seemed to work so well teaching grade schoolers how to use the four basic arithmetic operators.
Thats a feeling I'm familiar with, I could never remember the formulas, but I could remember the steps to derive the formulas from what was on the page and the basic equations-It's not too different from stream of consciousness vs planned writing.
And now that I program, I do so very differently than most people, but there are times when I'm in my stride (for example, pitching to investors or juggling the pieces of managing a team) where I feel at home. Like no one can touch me.