Also father of 2. Wife breast-fed both kids to about 14 months. I frequently gave a bottle (of breastmilk) to the first. Second wouldn't take the bottle at all. I never felt left out of the process. I changed (and still change) diapers and contribute in other ways. Mommy mostly handled bedtime until breastfeeding was over - now I frequently handle bedtime. With the second child, during the first year I handled most of the first-kid duties while my wife took care of the baby. I don't see a problem with this at all. My kids (5 and 1) are always excited to see me when I get home, so much so that my wife is more likely to feel left out than I am. Insinuating that breastfeeding causes kids to look to the mother as the last line of comfort is ridiculous in my opinion. Women are literally MADE to do this and I don't care what modern "gender equality" proponents might make of that statement.
Edit: I do want to qualify by saying that I do recognize that it's not possibly for every mother to breast feed and I'm not even trying to argue that breastfeeding is superior. I only take issue with the idea that breastfeeding negatively impacts the father's participation.
> Women are literally MADE to do this and I don't care what modern "gender equality" proponents might make of that statement.
That's a fallacious, appeal to nature argument. People should raise their kids how they want, and should feel free to make their parenting choices rationally. What's "natural" or what women are "made to do" shouldn't enter into the equation. "Naturally" something like 1 in 25 women died of childbirth.
There are good reasons to breastfeed. But there are also good reasons not to breastfeed. My wife and I bottle-fed from early on. I did all the night feedings, because I handle interrupted sleep better than she does. At the same time, I have little patience for after-work playtime, and am happy to let my wife handle that. It's an arrangement that takes advantages of our relative strengths that would not be practical without infant formula.
There are considerable benefits to breastfeeding, so while it's totally the mother's choice and we should avoid undue pressure it's wrog to say that there are only small benefits to breastfeeding.
I would put "huge benefits to breastfeeding" right up there with medical myths that have been recently debunked, such as "dietary cholesterol raises blood cholesterol" or "salt causes hypertension."
Edit: I do want to qualify by saying that I do recognize that it's not possibly for every mother to breast feed and I'm not even trying to argue that breastfeeding is superior. I only take issue with the idea that breastfeeding negatively impacts the father's participation.