It's perhaps developers fault, but my company recently adapted node.js and usually when you rewrite an app it is much better than the older one, not in our case, the app crashes on average every 30min in production, looks like express comes with a monitor that restarts the app which implies that this happens often enough to warrant such program. We also had situation when the monitor just died and nothing was there to restart it.
It sounds like you guys are not handling errors well. One can write a broken server in any language. Node-restarting tools are purely for the use case usually covered by crashing threads in other languages- that of shit really going wrong.
Express: no
Neo4J: rather not
Node: fuck no
My point: your opinion is exactly that... everyone has their own, and it's as useless as mine, in these comments, until you add some weight behind it.