Somewhat off-topic, but not too much: Are you the Jeff Bush that worked at Be for awhile? If so, you were in on my interview there. (For the sake of other readers, I got the job. But then Be went out of business seven months later and I got laid off, along with almost everybody else.)
This conversation is reminding me of why I washed out of the Bay Area high-tech scene. I was able to do it, but at too high a price. I'd rather work with slightly less smart people on much less shiny products, but living in a place where I can afford to buy a house, and with enough brainpower left over so that I don't have to live for my job.
You know, I really botched that opportunity at Be. I was really in awe of you guys. I had been on the outskirts of the tech biz for my whole career at that point. I didn't know that there were that many amazingly smart people in the whole world, let alone in one company.
It didn't help any that Be's heart was already broken by the time I got there. I don't think anybody really believed that the eVilla was going to be a success. But I could have overcome that problem, if I'd been smart.
Ultimately, I'm just not cut out to work in the rarified air that you work in. I can certainly see the appeal, though.
I think you're being tough on yourself. A lot of life is timing, and unfortunately, in retrospect, you came in at a bad time. The eVilla was a challenging project, hampered by a lot of decisions that were out of our control (it was a shitty hardware design due to ruthless cost cutting). At the time, I believed there was a kernel of a good idea, but it just didn't come together. I feel bad that overall the experience seems to have been negative for you.
Many of the people who worked on that project ended up back together as part of the team that built Android: Dianne Hackborn, Jean Baptiste Queru, and many more (BeIA actually had a early version of Binder in it). Not immediately though: people who weathered the layoffs ended up being acquired by Palm. Mired in politics, I don't think the OS they built there ever shipped on any hardware, but, as I understand, many of the ideas from that project ended up in Android. The other big contingent of Be-ites, which I followed, went to Danger, which Andy Rubin had co-founded. After that flamed out, many people from there ended up at Android as well. I'm pleased to see Android's success, especially given the string of failures that many of the team members experienced over the prior 8+ years. Many people may not realize that.
To your other point: I periodically go running at lunch with a group that I work with. They are much more serious than I am and have been doing it longer. I'm not at all a great runner and fall behind pretty quickly. I don't aspire to be, and have no expectations I ever will. But I like to run with them because it motivates me to work harder and it's more fun with go with other people than by myself, even if it points out my shortcomings. Most people who seem smart just have spent a lot of time doing something. Personally, I think it's important not to be intimidated by people who you think are better at you than something. You're also probably better than you think. In those days I think was the type of interviewer everybody here is complaining about, so you probably did alright. :)
Yes, I am very aware of the post-Be trajectories of all you guys. I've been following you all since then. Almost nobody remembers Be anymore, but I still get mileage in job interviews out of having former coworkers on the Android team. (heh.)
I would say that my time at Be was a failure, but that it was also entirely my fault. I was often so intimidated by you guys that I was afraid to speak up. I would have gotten over it eventually, but not in that environment, what with our impending doom and periodic layoffs hanging over our heads. I didn't enjoy working on the eVilla, and I don't think I was alone in that respect. But I could have put my head down and performed a workmanlike job anyway, while cultivating contacts amongst all you guys who were dribbling out to bigger and better things. But I let my intimidation get in the way and made myself a liability.
I am well aware I could get back into the big leagues if I wanted to. I am a much better programmer now than I was then. I clawed my way in the first time, I could do it again. But I really don't think the Bay Area is for me. I recently bought a house for 180k that would have likely cost a million bucks out there. I am happy with my piddly little jobs in the B leagues where I don't have to try all that hard.
Perhaps you just have more perspective now. I think back to previous jobs where I was so stressed out and the problems seemed so important. Looking back at the craters that are all that remains of those companies, they weren't as much as I thought they were. That's not to say it wasn't worth doing: there were some exciting times and I met some great people that I enjoyed working with. But I probably focused too much on the wrong things.
This conversation is reminding me of why I washed out of the Bay Area high-tech scene. I was able to do it, but at too high a price. I'd rather work with slightly less smart people on much less shiny products, but living in a place where I can afford to buy a house, and with enough brainpower left over so that I don't have to live for my job.