The idea that men are on the top and the bottom and women somewhere in the middle is something I also experienced when learning about China. There are so many men who are completely unable to find a decent job and nor any wife at all, and on the other end of the spectrum men so rich that one of them has more money/power than a small country. The point that women completely ignore the men on the bottom and fight each other about the men on the top, who in turn have so much choice and so little punishment for bad behaviour that they don't regard women as breathing human beings, seems to add up to a picture that looks quite realistic.
It's probably a little too simplified, though. While the percentages vary between top and bottom men and women, you have both on each level. Beside the amount of people one would also need to look at the impact on each gender's life. And the result might still be that a woman on the bottom might have a much harder life than a man, and a woman at the top might not gain as many rewards as a man.
It's rather hard to get a complete picture, right?
I've never seen those two ideas combined before: the skewness of the male population towards failure, and the resulting misogyny of the "spoilt for choice" men at the other end of the distribution. Very interesting.
Notably, the men at the bottom are considered failures for failing to acquire a wife. That's also one of those things that feminism takes issue with. Poor males are not saints; they just aren't in a position to actually change the overall status quo.
If wife acquisition stopped being an indicator of success in China, you'd have a lot fewer men being considered at the bottom.
>No wife means not only a lonely existence, but also no children to care for you in your old age. If that isn't failure, I don't know what is.
This line of thinking just seems juvenile to me. Do you really believe the pinnacle of human achievement (and the only one that matters) is being in a long term relationship and having children?
> Do you really believe the pinnacle of human achievement (and the only one that matters) is being in a long term relationship and having children?
Can anyone with any sense of Darwinian evolution not believe that having children is the goal of life? Can anyone with any emotional sense at all not believe that a lasting relationship with another is not the highest of pursuits?
I'm personally far more interested in passing down a cultural legacy than squirting my genes into an egg, and I'm more inclined towards raising the average happiness of the world than just a single relationship.
The funny thing about belief is that it doesn't necessarily extend from basic facts like having read the same book.
Darwinian evolution is useless when applied to modern humanity. There is no "survival of the fittest". Consider also that individual genetics are irrelevant to breeding success when put against external factors like security and wealth. Our knowledge and ideas are much more valuable to humanities survival than our individual genetics at this point.
I would also personally argue that once you gain the ability to modify the human genome any desire for classical evolution is deeply flawed. Relationships are largely a holdover from the evolutionary need to reproduce, although obviously it's good for our happiness and emotional state to satisfy those desires in our current form.
You're actually giving him too much credit. Speaking as someone whose family has the same values, "having children" isn't enough. They have to be obedient and willing to care for you in your old age. Success, in these terms, is breeding future slaves for your twilight years. The academic term for this is "filial piety". It also includes things like guilting your children for all the things you forced them into doing, such as learning the violin or piano.
To state the obvious, I am kinda disagreeable to this presumption.
Similarly, he's not just talking about a "long term relationship", but a much more economic arrangement where one's wife fulfills your needs for companionship and breeding in return for the bread you win. Unsurprisingly, this is something that many modern Chinese women have started balking at.
That's an interesting view. My English is not so good. What I meant was that getting a wife is the result of being successful for the Chinese guys I know. If you have a stable job, an apartment and a car you are quite likely to get a wife. But there are many people applying for the jobs, and cars/apartments are more expensive than in the west.
From what I've seen and heard, getting a wife was the goal, and since women had actual choices, they'd be choosing someone with a stable job, apartment, etc., so the men feel compelled to get those things. They're not accidentally tripping over wives; they're actively seeking them out.
That's interesting. From what I've seen I would guess that Chinese women seek marriage partners above else, but Chinese men choose financial success above else. Losing a wife to get rich is okay for them. But failing to get a car and house can not be compensated by having a wife.
I would agree that marriage is more important to Chinese men than to western men. The idea of marriage is also different, though.
The root of this is that having a daughter was less culturally valued, people chose sex-selective abortions (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex-selective_abortion#China), which led to a skewed gender ratio for the population. Many rural men struggle to find wives because of the shortage. If women/daughters were more valued, there would be more women, and poor men would have an easier time finding a wife. So even though there are more men on the bottom, it was caused by valuing men over women.
It's probably a little too simplified, though. While the percentages vary between top and bottom men and women, you have both on each level. Beside the amount of people one would also need to look at the impact on each gender's life. And the result might still be that a woman on the bottom might have a much harder life than a man, and a woman at the top might not gain as many rewards as a man.
It's rather hard to get a complete picture, right?