>Huh. I've tried quite a few different meds in the search for a chemical cure for social phobia, and always, somebody eventually suggests opiates as the only thing that will truly act as an "off" switch. (Accompanied by the usual dire warnings.)
I've gone from mild social anxiety to serene confidence in social settings. No drugs.
What helped was treating it as a skill like any other. I was anxious because frankly, I sucked at social interactions. I didn't know how to make small talk, eye contact, and the very fact that I worried about how I was doing made people enjoy talking with me less.
So one by one I identified skills I lacked, and worked to acquire them in small, incremental steps.
For instance, talking to strangers. Start by asking a stranger the time. Then do it a few times. Notice that everything goes well. Once you've done that a few times, you've now got that as a skill.
Interacting with strangers. When you're at a store, make a comment to the cashier about something in the environment. They'll respond. Then you respond with something. Note how they react. Do this a bunch of times and it'll become natural.
Etc, etc. Look at people who are good at social interactions. What are they doing differently? What skills can be isolated and learned?
Anxiety itself can be approached laterally, with meditation. I don't recommend this route, but what worked for me was a major health crisis that forced me to confront death and loss. After that, social difficulties paled in comparison, and I'm not afraid of any social interactions anymore. Mindfulness was what let me get through that time of trouble by growing, rather than shrinking into misery.
What's good about social difficulties is that they are very easy to practice. All around you every day are thousands of opportunities to interact with others. If a skill can be practice, and you can get feedback, then that skill can be learned.
Yep. While Im sure there are a lot of people with medical issues that make them become socially inept, I think that social skills in general are just that: skills. You can't start programming like a pro from day one, it takes years of effort. And so does this skill.
I've gone from mild social anxiety to serene confidence in social settings. No drugs.
What helped was treating it as a skill like any other. I was anxious because frankly, I sucked at social interactions. I didn't know how to make small talk, eye contact, and the very fact that I worried about how I was doing made people enjoy talking with me less.
So one by one I identified skills I lacked, and worked to acquire them in small, incremental steps.
For instance, talking to strangers. Start by asking a stranger the time. Then do it a few times. Notice that everything goes well. Once you've done that a few times, you've now got that as a skill.
Interacting with strangers. When you're at a store, make a comment to the cashier about something in the environment. They'll respond. Then you respond with something. Note how they react. Do this a bunch of times and it'll become natural.
Etc, etc. Look at people who are good at social interactions. What are they doing differently? What skills can be isolated and learned?
Anxiety itself can be approached laterally, with meditation. I don't recommend this route, but what worked for me was a major health crisis that forced me to confront death and loss. After that, social difficulties paled in comparison, and I'm not afraid of any social interactions anymore. Mindfulness was what let me get through that time of trouble by growing, rather than shrinking into misery.
What's good about social difficulties is that they are very easy to practice. All around you every day are thousands of opportunities to interact with others. If a skill can be practice, and you can get feedback, then that skill can be learned.