Well keep in mind that this has two effects

1) If you don't want to care for your in-laws, there's little social safety net for them to retire on. Society is structured around this form of retirement.

2) Many women are now choosing not to get married in order to avoid being their mother-in-law's personal servant.

Here's a good writeup on the role http://msleetobe.wordpress.com/2010/06/18/on-obstacles-to-wh...

One of my Korean friends who married a Canadian man told me that one of the greatest perks of having a Canadian husband was that she did not have a demanding mother-in-law. They are legendary in Korea. Whether or not all mother-in-laws are as evil as they are sometimes portrayed, in general it is safe to say that they are somewhat more demanding, and the cultural expectations of a daughter-in-law are greater than in the mainstream Canadian context. My friend loves that during family gatherings she is a guest in her mother-in-law’s house instead of a worker serving men who do nothing but socialize and drink. She loves that she is not responsible for cleaning her mother-in-law’s house and does not have to prepare the enormous amount of food necessary for ancestral memorial rituals (and then be excluded from the ceremony because she is a woman). For her, marriage to her husband is about her relationship with her husband and not duty toward her mother-in-law.

I agree that there's cultural aspects of this. But there are always side effects of some sort. So adopting a model like this might mean that some of the unintentional side effects might come along as well.

I think the overall point is that at least one of you or your wife has to stop working to take care of your extended family.