On the concept of control, one thing that has been effective for me in helping me get over my fear of heights it trying not to control my fear. It's sounds strange, but the more I try to control the fear the worse it gets but if I just let it come and don't get caught up in the tug of war of my anxious thoughts and feelings but force myself to carry on regardless of my thoughts or feelings (which I know to be irrational anyway) I find that the fear tends to fade on its own.