Well, perhaps I was downvoted for "hating" those templates. I really, really dislike them.

As for the JS dependency, when I want to read an item published under such a template, I view the Google cache copy. It loads up just fine without JS -- or I'm forgetting that, foolish me, I have google.com whitelisted.

Not sure about one's satisfaction with this on mobile, but it would be worth a shot.