Last night I accidentally ate sunflower seeds (to which I'm allergic.) Normally I just get, well, vomit-y, but this time I got a fun side dish of horrible wheezing and difficulty breathing.

So, to go along with possible lost tendons, another great way to skip the ER line is to show up having audible trouble breathing.

(I'm American and have high deductible insurance, so I'm probably going to pay a grand or two for the privilege of this stupid own goal of a self-poisoning. Sigh.)