And in practice "use relative or absolute addressing" is resolved via random number generation. Any later problems resulting from confusing the two can just be fixed by filing tickets with IT.

Also used as the corporate standard database management system and as what boils down to a mail merge client, and although this appears to outsiders as bad standup comedy, it is unfortunately merely factual.

Possibly one of the quickest ways to measure the dilbertian level of rot of an organization is to propose a small database and ask what tool they'd use to hold that information. Mysql, OK. Postgresql, eh, OK. Oracle, ummm. Excel, find the exit door and start running. Microsoft Word, Cthulhu take us to end the agony. I've seen all of the above. And survived. Barely. Perhaps not with my sanity intact.

edited: spreadsheets fit into the design pattern of jokes where you got a problem to fix, so you try to implement a spreadsheet to fix it, now you got two problems to fix. This is probably funnier in its original regex and perl and web framework variants.