Our son was diagnosed with a mild form of Autism right before his 3rd birthday. He had little-to-no pragmatic language, although he was verbal. Thanks to Baby Einstein videos, he could name all of his shapes/colors/animals/etc. He could name every instrument in an orchestra. At the same time, however, he couldn't tell us his name, when he was thirsty, when he didn't feel well. There were tantrums... LOTS of tantrums. It was exhausting and painful because you knew that he was upset about SOMETHING, you just didn't know what.
We were very fortunate to be here in Baltimore, home of the Kennedy-Krieger Institute. Our pediatric neurologist there was very thorough -- and painfully blunt -- in describing what we needed to do, and what would happen if we did or didn't. We located a clinic nearby that works with children on the Autism spectrum. They specialized in Applied Verbal Behavior therapy. Walking into the clinic, you would think you entered a Chuck E. Cheese's. There are toys everywhere. Kids are running around screaming. And the adult therapists are doing the exact same thing! When I visited there for the first time only one thing came to mind: "These people are nuts. They're nuts, and we're going to give them $$$$ and our child and nothing is going to change."
I could not have been more wrong. Within HOURS of starting there he could tell us his name and his age whenever we asked. At first, it was obviously just memorized repetition - he said it the same way every single time. That's how it was with everything he learned at first. When he asked for water, he asked for it the same way every time. But, as time went on and he developed better pragmatic language skills, he began to "speak", not just regurgitate. As far as I'm concerned, the people there are miracle workers. He worked with 2 specific therapists during the 2 years he was there, and they showed him an immeasurable amount of love and concern.
At times, reading articles about Autism therapy -- and the comments that inevitably follow -- can be very upsetting. Often, I read about how ABA therapy ends up being traumatic for the child. While I am certainly no behavioral or Autism expert, I don't think that should be the case. My son's therapists certainly pushed him. There were certainly days that were very hard on him. However, days like this were not the norm. And he truly loved going there, because the way they instructed him was through play. They didn't sit him down at a table in an empty room and force him to do things. They simply met him where he was and connected to him there.
It's also quite upsetting to read the comments by parents -- and those with Autism/Asperger's themselves. Often I'll read things like, "There's nothing wrong with my child! They don't need to be 'fixed'!" I'll read comments from individuals with Autism along the same lines, and it's obvious that they have been judged and discriminated against their entire lives. It's wrong. As a father who loves my son more than anything in this world, I will simply say this: Was there "something wrong" with my son? Unfortunately, yes. From a neurological standpoint, absolutely. However, did I look at him like a broken DVD player and say, "There's something wrong with this. Let's get rid of it and get another."? Not a chance. Without the therapy that my son received, the odds are overwhelming that he would not be able to function on his own in society. He wouldn't have been able to go to school. He wouldn't have been able to relate to others or have friends. When my wife and I died, there's no way he would have been able to function on his own. We didn't get him therapy to help US. We got him therapy to help HIM.
Today, he's entering 3rd grade. He's got friends. He's HIGHLY verbal. In fact, he never stops talking. He's insanely intelligent, with math and reading skills approaching high school levels. It's wonderful to see. The only thing that hasn't changed is how loved he is. Does he still have problems? Definitely. He has anxiety issues, as well as ADHD. Rigidity is a major problem. Those are issues we're tackling now. But, I shudder to think about what he would have missed out on had we not gotten him the help he needed early on.
We were very fortunate to be here in Baltimore, home of the Kennedy-Krieger Institute. Our pediatric neurologist there was very thorough -- and painfully blunt -- in describing what we needed to do, and what would happen if we did or didn't. We located a clinic nearby that works with children on the Autism spectrum. They specialized in Applied Verbal Behavior therapy. Walking into the clinic, you would think you entered a Chuck E. Cheese's. There are toys everywhere. Kids are running around screaming. And the adult therapists are doing the exact same thing! When I visited there for the first time only one thing came to mind: "These people are nuts. They're nuts, and we're going to give them $$$$ and our child and nothing is going to change."
I could not have been more wrong. Within HOURS of starting there he could tell us his name and his age whenever we asked. At first, it was obviously just memorized repetition - he said it the same way every single time. That's how it was with everything he learned at first. When he asked for water, he asked for it the same way every time. But, as time went on and he developed better pragmatic language skills, he began to "speak", not just regurgitate. As far as I'm concerned, the people there are miracle workers. He worked with 2 specific therapists during the 2 years he was there, and they showed him an immeasurable amount of love and concern.
At times, reading articles about Autism therapy -- and the comments that inevitably follow -- can be very upsetting. Often, I read about how ABA therapy ends up being traumatic for the child. While I am certainly no behavioral or Autism expert, I don't think that should be the case. My son's therapists certainly pushed him. There were certainly days that were very hard on him. However, days like this were not the norm. And he truly loved going there, because the way they instructed him was through play. They didn't sit him down at a table in an empty room and force him to do things. They simply met him where he was and connected to him there.
It's also quite upsetting to read the comments by parents -- and those with Autism/Asperger's themselves. Often I'll read things like, "There's nothing wrong with my child! They don't need to be 'fixed'!" I'll read comments from individuals with Autism along the same lines, and it's obvious that they have been judged and discriminated against their entire lives. It's wrong. As a father who loves my son more than anything in this world, I will simply say this: Was there "something wrong" with my son? Unfortunately, yes. From a neurological standpoint, absolutely. However, did I look at him like a broken DVD player and say, "There's something wrong with this. Let's get rid of it and get another."? Not a chance. Without the therapy that my son received, the odds are overwhelming that he would not be able to function on his own in society. He wouldn't have been able to go to school. He wouldn't have been able to relate to others or have friends. When my wife and I died, there's no way he would have been able to function on his own. We didn't get him therapy to help US. We got him therapy to help HIM.
Today, he's entering 3rd grade. He's got friends. He's HIGHLY verbal. In fact, he never stops talking. He's insanely intelligent, with math and reading skills approaching high school levels. It's wonderful to see. The only thing that hasn't changed is how loved he is. Does he still have problems? Definitely. He has anxiety issues, as well as ADHD. Rigidity is a major problem. Those are issues we're tackling now. But, I shudder to think about what he would have missed out on had we not gotten him the help he needed early on.