How is just ignoring this shit not an option? Am I that far removed from HS culture at 33? My HS was full of asshole bastards that would say anything about anybody just to get a reaction.
We didn't have social media, but if a juicy rumor got started it only took about half a day to spread to the whole school. Hands down the best way to beat them was to not give a fuck. Just don't feed the trolls. Bullies are motivated by a reaction and as long as you're not being physically harmed you shouldn't give them one.
As a brief summary, the story discusses a man who lives in a small town in the US. Like many small towns, residents frequent a website called Topics where gossip is shared anonymously in much the same way that it is on Yik Yak. One man, whose wife was killed by an ex-husband, ended up on the receiving end of a stream of particularly vicious rumors and lies spread through the site. This gossip, posted anonymously by a single person under multiple pseudonyms, ended up tarnishing his reputation and costing him his job. Keep in mind, this is a community of grown adults we're talking about.
A high school is similar in many ways to a small town in that everyone knows everyone else, which facilitates the spread of gossip. Add to that the lower maturity levels of children and teenagers, and it is easy to see how anonymous gossip can do some serious damage to a community.
Anyway, I can't recommend that episode of TAL enough, it's very relevant to this whole topic of anonymous online forums.
I think part of it is the anonymous nature. When a juicy rumor got spread in your high school, you could figure out who was saying it and write them off: "Oh, whatever; that kid's an asshole and is just out to get me, anybody who's my friend knows to ignore them."
But with this, you don't have that. Maybe the bully from your math class is telling everybody you suck dick for money; maybe it's the kid you just started sitting next to at lunch. All of a sudden it's not just the mean kids who might be spreading rumors, it's everybody in the school and that's pretty hard to ignore.
also, it's worth noting that the way you feel about anonymous slander at 33 is going to be heavily coloured by your maturity and perspective: You've been out in the world for a while, and you know that there's a bunch of bullshit that just doesn't matter. That's an admirable attitude, but let's be fair and recognize that 16 year olds are not really well known for their ability to put high school in context. It feels like their entire life for them because at that point, it is.
Even more, you can confront the person doing you wrong. My daughter recently confronted a girl who was spreading rumors about her and that was that.
It takes no courage at all to act out online. It used to be that if you wanted to spread lies, steal money, run a confidence game, you had to at least have the courage to face your victim. Anonymity can be used for noble purposes but the vast majority of the time it isn't. Whatever noble purpose might be available to someone using Secret or Yik Yak, it's going to get lost in the noise.
Yeah, I get that. I think it is a maturity thing. I mean, the fact that it's anonymous allows me to not care about it AT ALL. Who cares what "someone out there" says? I certainly don't. My life experience, and long time exposure to the internet has taught me that right now, someone, somewhere out in the world is saying just about anything you could think of. You can't care about all of it.
Yeah I really don't see that this is anything more than the 21st century version of stuff written on the bathroom wall. Not that it makes it OK, but it's not anything new (perhaps it amplified, though). Teenagers say stupid stuff, tend to be self-centered, insecure, and can be cruel. Nothing new here. If you take it seriously you're letting the aggressor win.
When someone spreads a rumor, they get a reaction from 3 or 4 people. The fun is to see how far it goes. With an app, they get a reaction from many more.
It's nice to say "ignore it" and when it's 3 or 4 people they can actually do that, but with an app you're talking about the will power of many more people. Much harder to self control.
I would actually think that when it flares like in the story, and everyone is saying outrageous things about everyone else, it would become easier to laugh it off. Everyone would know that it was all bullshit because they were all in on writing it themselves.
That's what I was thinking. I can't imagine ever getting upset because some anonymous person insulted me on some app, or taking anything it said about anybody else seriously. How are people killing themselves over this?
We didn't have social media, but if a juicy rumor got started it only took about half a day to spread to the whole school. Hands down the best way to beat them was to not give a fuck. Just don't feed the trolls. Bullies are motivated by a reaction and as long as you're not being physically harmed you shouldn't give them one.