Any tips for coping/changing your lifestyle/having fewer totally hopeless existential crises? I spend a lot of time at the edge, feeling one second away from throwing everything away and starting over on a completely different path.
2. I guess it's just me. My girlfriend humors me occasionally but can't really relate and just thinks I have some combination of ADD/wrong career causing unhappiness/too many thoughts.
3. I'm not sure, it's always just something totally different. Live in my car, bum out of a backpack internationally working from a laptop, take design classes, work on a farm, work for a non-profit, build various startup ideas, go for a PhD and write/teach, figure out a way to help alleviate global suffering; real lack of healthcare, lack of clean water, lack of food, lack of education, suffering instead of being surrounded by first-world problems.
The suffering path is a big draw because the crises frequently lead to the conclusion that life is meaningless, the only sure thing in life is suffering, so the only meaning must be to try and minimize the total amount of suffering endured by humanity. That sounds kind of hokey but I don't mean it to be. I'm very empathetic but not very sentimental or religious or "ohhh change the world" optimistic. It's more of a get out in the field and do the dirty work because otherwise you're just wasting time kind of feeling.
I went on a sabbatical thinking I may not be able to do dev again, but I was wrong.
It's good you mentioned lifestyle changes; you'll want to get in the habit of constantly experimenting with these before you pull the plug completely. Consider:
* therapy
* being in a community (in real life)
* lifting
* the arts
* doing more/less work-type stuff on the side (open source, speaking, mentoring, etc)
* service projects (lots of different clubs do them)
I think a lot of the existential pain in my late twenties was due to feeling alone plus stuck at my job. I tried several things to deal with it (all safe) but couldn't get a handle on it, resulting in burnout.
All of those things you want to do are good; you could try doing some of them part time. When life tells you to pack up, you'll know it, so I'm not going to prescribe anything particular, other than letting you know to trust your instincts here. I had to find out the problem was mostly me (but other people also had to go). But one thing you need to know: all the good you do cannot patch you up on the inside. Whatever you're feeling will be there later.
The importance of someone who honestly balances you out cannot be understated. I did not understand balance until I had to see myself through my wife's eyes over and over again. It's humbling and hard, but it will change you to something healthier much quicker. I don't know what your relationship looks like, but I hope your girlfriend builds you up and supports you whatever your mood is.
Personally, I have to always be learning. I found a guitar teacher who does a great job teaching technique, and I'm constantly challenged. I also work in R&D at a lifestyle company.
