Because your perfect OCaml, ML, Haskell, and any other fancy, magical, fabulous, eternal, fantastical, simplest, elegant ... languages are all atop crumbling foundations implemented in ugly, stupid, out-dated, evil, chaffy ... C, C++, and assembly running on inefficient, silly and fragile digital logical CPUs.

And when Facebook uses this stupid technique to build the world's largest social network for more than one billion users, those elegant and perfect solutions are serving ... how many?