I don't like it.
I think it's very important to make people comfortable with the idea that they often make mistakes and their thinking is not up to par. You need to make them comfortable thinking about their thinking and being open about it. To do that you need to point a lot of mistakes and encourage them to think about the process leading to them. That's difficult for many people (because of ego mainly).
However the woman from the article doesn't achieve it in my view.
Her way is to inflict guilt:
>>Spiegel’s face tensed. “We did not bring you here so that you could spend two seconds on a move,” she said with an edge in her voice
>>“This is pathetic. If you continue to play like this, I’m going to withdraw you from the tournament,
>> I’m very, very, very upset to be seeing such a careless and thoughtless game.
I call it bullying. Why not just focus on the thought process and try to detach emotions from it, that's what the kid needs to learn in the first place:
-"How much time did you spend here?"
-"Two seconds"
-"You see, spending two seconds here led to a blunder which you suffered from for rest of the game, we need to work on your thinking habits. There is not much time for that now and as I screw up as your teacher not teaching it to you before for now I only suggest that once you decide on a move, look away from the board, try to reset your mind, sit on your hands and look at the board as freshly as possible for 15 seconds to see if you are not blundering anything".
Then you add: "Thinking habits in chess are everything, a lot of brilliant players never make progress because occasional slips and a lot of not-so-brilliant ones enjoy success because they avoid simple mistake thanks to good habits". "We are going to work on this after the tournament, there are many ways. Rest assured it's main problem chess players have, you are not alone. How well people improve in that area is going to be a difference between winning and losing so it's exciting area to focus on".
Then you discuss ego, how not willing to admit your own mistakes is major road block and how it's perfectly ok to discuss mistakes but it's not ok to be happy about them or comfortable with them! You need healthy dose of ambition you need to be disappointed... but optimistic and believing you can get better.
Feeling guilty won't lead there. Feeling like you are disappointing other people won't lead there (even if it won't be long term, it's dependence on external motivator - disappointing someone. At one time this someone won't be there). If you act like the woman from the article people will avoid you - nobody wants to feel guilty after all. They want to improve, work on their thinking, compete and have fun.
Her way shows characteristics of bad teachers and bad parent. I've encountered both and I think it's the best way to kill natural joy and passion quickly even if you get some quick results - it won't be long term and it won't be to maximum potential.
I think it's very important to make people comfortable with the idea that they often make mistakes and their thinking is not up to par.
I don't think "comfortable" is the right word here. People who feel comfortable with failure will continue to fail. It's important for people to understand that they will make mistakes, yes, and that they should not be stopped by it--they should try to do better next time. But to me that's the exact opposite of feeling "comfortable" with making mistakes; making mistakes should make you feel uncomfortable until you've figured out how to not make those mistakes again.
Her way is to inflict guilt
I don't think "guilt" is the right word here either. She is expressing disappointment, but it's disappointment with what the person did, not with who the person is. "Guilt" implies that she is saying they're a bad person, and she's not; she's saying they could have done better.
Why not just focus on the thought process and try to detach emotions from it
Because the emotions are what motivate a person to do better.
At one time this someone won't be there
True; and what happens then will depend on how well the person has internalized the emotional drive to do better. That won't happen if the only coaching they've gotten is dispassionate commentary on their thought processes. If nobody expresses disappointment when they make mistakes, they won't learn to be disappointed with themselves when they make mistakes, so they won't care about doing better.
If you act like the woman from the article people will avoid you
But that doesn't seem to be happening; the woman's students don't seem to be avoiding her, they seem to be taking her criticisms seriously and improving their game.
I don't think "guilt" is the right word here either. She is expressing disappointment, but it's disappointment with what the person did, not with who the person is.
And while she's doing that, she's implicitly expressing the expectation that her students can do better. That's actually a far cry from the way lots of parents use guilt in traditional societies, where the implicit message is, "You did bad, again, just like I expected you to!" and the aim is to elicit effort through neurotic self-hatred.
Interesting question raised and an interesting answer from you. Both made me think and have made my day better by making me smarter than before.
If I may add _one_ suggestion to both, it is to say "Elizabeth" or "Spiegel" instead of "the woman from the article" or something like that. It makes the reference more human.
If I may add _one_ suggestion to both, it is to say "Elizabeth" or "Spiegel" instead of "the woman from the article" or something like that. It makes the reference more human.
I assume she's been giving that talk to the students over and over again in her classroom. That's where she is the "teacher". But this the tournament where she, in a sense, assumes the role of coach[1]. So, while I too am not comfortable with that kind of talking to a kid, I suppose a little harshness was justified. Because the kid KNOWS that two seconds isn't enough. Because they HAVE been working on his thinking habits. So if he is forgetting the basic rules they have been discussing for this long, then a little harshness is perhaps needed.
[1]Correct me if am wrong but sport coaches usually are stern with their athletes, no?
Sometimes people need to feel badly in order to make a significant change in their motivation or habits. "Self-motivated" people are just better than most at making themselves feel bad.
There's also an aspect of knowing the high end of expectations. It's easy for smart kids to advance just beyond their peers and then start to coast. A skilled and strict coach can help them understand how much farther they can really go.
If a natural joy or passion cannot withstand some critical coaching then it's not very strong joy or passion. If a kid needs constant support and praise just to stick with something, it might not be the best activity for them.
>>Spiegel’s face tensed. “We did not bring you here so that you could spend two seconds on a move,” she said with an edge in her voice
>>“This is pathetic. If you continue to play like this, I’m going to withdraw you from the tournament,
>> I’m very, very, very upset to be seeing such a careless and thoughtless game.
I call it bullying. Why not just focus on the thought process and try to detach emotions from it, that's what the kid needs to learn in the first place:
-"How much time did you spend here?"
-"Two seconds"
-"You see, spending two seconds here led to a blunder which you suffered from for rest of the game, we need to work on your thinking habits. There is not much time for that now and as I screw up as your teacher not teaching it to you before for now I only suggest that once you decide on a move, look away from the board, try to reset your mind, sit on your hands and look at the board as freshly as possible for 15 seconds to see if you are not blundering anything".
Then you add: "Thinking habits in chess are everything, a lot of brilliant players never make progress because occasional slips and a lot of not-so-brilliant ones enjoy success because they avoid simple mistake thanks to good habits". "We are going to work on this after the tournament, there are many ways. Rest assured it's main problem chess players have, you are not alone. How well people improve in that area is going to be a difference between winning and losing so it's exciting area to focus on". Then you discuss ego, how not willing to admit your own mistakes is major road block and how it's perfectly ok to discuss mistakes but it's not ok to be happy about them or comfortable with them! You need healthy dose of ambition you need to be disappointed... but optimistic and believing you can get better. Feeling guilty won't lead there. Feeling like you are disappointing other people won't lead there (even if it won't be long term, it's dependence on external motivator - disappointing someone. At one time this someone won't be there). If you act like the woman from the article people will avoid you - nobody wants to feel guilty after all. They want to improve, work on their thinking, compete and have fun.
Her way shows characteristics of bad teachers and bad parent. I've encountered both and I think it's the best way to kill natural joy and passion quickly even if you get some quick results - it won't be long term and it won't be to maximum potential.