I'm an extreme introvert by nature, and overcoming this is a constant, daily, exhausting struggle. I love interacting with one or two people who I know very well. But I'm driven to the edge of an irrational panic attack when I meet new people.
In high pressure situations, like sales or fund raising, it can be excruciating. The elevated pulse, the sweat, blurred vision -- it's fight or flight response the entire way.
I was talking with a friend of mine about living in cities, and we both mentioned our distaste for living in an environment where we have to deal with lots of people. But while her response was to try and move out to the country, mine was to try and move to bigger and bigger cities. Turns out I love the anonymity of big crowded cities like New York, but just like my friend, can't stand the kind of semi-dense low-rise urbanity like you find in LA. The density just isn't right.
Many years ago I took a job doing tech support and phone sales. It was probably the worst kind of job for me, but I persevered and found that over time I learned how to deal with people. Every month or two I had a difficult interaction and realized that I dealt with it more successfully than I would have a few months before. I still hated it, that kind of interaction, but it trained me. I was never going to be a natural at that kind of interaction, but I would never naturally get up and run a marathon either. I realized that if I could train myself, I could not only tolerate, but be successful in these kinds of interactions.
I also remember being moved by the Gom Jabbar scene in Dune. The purpose of which was to filter out humans who could discipline their mind against instinct, and animals who were slaves to instinct. I realized reacting to fear is reacting to instinct, like an animal, and if I were a human I could overcome this. This is reenforced by the Litany Against Fear used during that scene.
Now, many years later, before I go into a meeting with strangers, I tell myself this, I've trained myself to overcome my instincts, to be fully human. I tell myself "fear is the mind killer" and I enter the room.
> In high pressure situations, like sales or fund raising, it can be excruciating. The elevated pulse, the sweat, blurred vision -- it's fight or flight response the entire way.
This might blow your mind or it might not, but there's a medicine called Propanolol that can basically eliminate the elevated pulse/shaking/sweats. Performers sometimes use it to combat stage fright. It's nonaddictive and doesn't affect your cognitive skills.
We sometimes get into a feedback loop of: fight-or-flight kicks in, brain freaks out which pushes fight-or-flight further, which freaks out our brain even further, etc. Propanolol short circuits the physiological side, so you're only battling your brain (instead of your brain and your body feeding off each other).
I had a bout of anxiety last year sparked by an unpleasant situation, and therapy helped but the fight-or-flight responses were absolutely crippling. My MD and therapist both suggested the medicine, so I gave it a shot and it's wonderful. I liken it to an armor on my body's responses. My mind may get freaked out but when my body doesn't react in kind, it's easy now with practice to settle down.
Anyway, sounds like you may have figured out your own solution, but I'm leaving this here for you or anyone else who might find it useful. Cheers.
In high pressure situations, like sales or fund raising, it can be excruciating. The elevated pulse, the sweat, blurred vision -- it's fight or flight response the entire way.
I was talking with a friend of mine about living in cities, and we both mentioned our distaste for living in an environment where we have to deal with lots of people. But while her response was to try and move out to the country, mine was to try and move to bigger and bigger cities. Turns out I love the anonymity of big crowded cities like New York, but just like my friend, can't stand the kind of semi-dense low-rise urbanity like you find in LA. The density just isn't right.
Many years ago I took a job doing tech support and phone sales. It was probably the worst kind of job for me, but I persevered and found that over time I learned how to deal with people. Every month or two I had a difficult interaction and realized that I dealt with it more successfully than I would have a few months before. I still hated it, that kind of interaction, but it trained me. I was never going to be a natural at that kind of interaction, but I would never naturally get up and run a marathon either. I realized that if I could train myself, I could not only tolerate, but be successful in these kinds of interactions.
I also remember being moved by the Gom Jabbar scene in Dune. The purpose of which was to filter out humans who could discipline their mind against instinct, and animals who were slaves to instinct. I realized reacting to fear is reacting to instinct, like an animal, and if I were a human I could overcome this. This is reenforced by the Litany Against Fear used during that scene.
Now, many years later, before I go into a meeting with strangers, I tell myself this, I've trained myself to overcome my instincts, to be fully human. I tell myself "fear is the mind killer" and I enter the room.