If you need to communicate a small amount of data in a fairly urgent manner, then texting makes perfect sense.
But I just don't understand the constant texting and vibrating. How is it socially acceptable to prefer the company of those not there over those who are? If you'd rather be with someone else, go be with them. Otherwise, enjoy the company of those you're with. You'll see the others soon enough.
That's a pretty common misconception that older folk have. And you're simplifying the social connection framework to something it's not. It's not that cut and dry. I don't rank my friends on a gradient based on company preference. Every relationship is unique. And beyond that, we grew up with cellphones as the mobile information carriers in our pockets. To us, cellphones are a constant in all social situations, so we're accustomed to it.
I guess I have to plead guilty to being an "older folk" then. I feel it is rude of me to constantly ignore the person/people I am with.
Please note that I said Constantly. A quick look at the clock, or, as the case may be for me, the caller id of the incoming call, is a little rude, but most people will overlook it. They do not miss the event, however.
The best conversations, or even time spent, with anyone always have my full attention. To me, it's like the movie theater. I go there to suspend belief. If someone wants to talk the whole time, they are in the wrong place.
It can probably be linked back to Dale Carnegie's book. :)
You're out at a bar with a couple of friends. A few minutes after you've gotten there, another friend of yours comes in. He comes over, you say him, exchange a few quick words, and he nods to your friends and heads back to his group.
Now, by acknowledging him, you're not giving your other friends your full attention. It might have been a little insensitive of you not to introduce him, but he was clearly in a rush. I don't consider this particularly rude, and I fail to see how texting is much different. There is context - at a nice restaurant, you probably would want to introduce him to the rest of your friends. In most contexts, though, a quick acknowledgment of other people is entirely acceptable, and texting isn't much different.
If you're materially distracted by texting or phone conversation, that's different. But I see no reason to say that I have to ignore everybody else I know when I'm with you.
This is known as a "party", and lots of people prefer it to other forms of socializing, and those people can now have their party at the same time as the rest of us are having a quiet evening with a couple of friends. I don't text much, but this seems like a win/win to me.
Unrelatedly, I find it very difficult to resist using "link" in the same way I used to use "reply", since "reply" is no longer reliably there (intentionally on a delay, I know). Maybe it's just me.
It's a party if everybody is doing it. But if you're the only one doing it, it's rude.
Haven't you ever been called into a manager's office, only to have them be constantly interrupted every few minutes by a phone call, pager beep, email, or somebody coming by while you tried to explain something detailed to them? Was this a practical use of time for either of you? Is this something you would want to use as an example of a normal conversation?
Sure, I'd have that happen all the time if I tried to explain things orally very much. In fact, I'd suggest that for a lot of people, that is normal conversation now, especially in the workplace, but increasingly outside of it, too. If you want to explain something detailed or complex, you use an email, wiki page, or bug tracking system comment.
I admit to being annoyed when I'm trying to have a deep conversation with someone and their devices keep interrupting, though, and it can seem rude if there's anything more than small talk involved. I've been chalking this up to being over 30, though, and suppressing my irritation. :)
Oh sure, it can get rude. There is a limit. I was speaking more to the occasional text reply. I do agree with you that conversations in front of others is quite rude.
I tend to use texting/"checking my website" as a social cue to the person I'm with that I want to leave.
It is my way of going "I'm bored with you. I'm going to make the situation so awkward that you want to leave".
Here is a tip, friends, if I like you, either my phone and its battery are in physically separate locations, like one in the glove box and one in the trunk, or my phone is shut OFF...not on vibrate, not on silent, not on sleep; powered. off.
If it ISN'T, it means that I'm just using you to occupy my time...my phone is on because I'm hoping somebody more interesting calls me.
How it's acceptable is by finding friends who are okay with it.
Then again, I agree very much that if all you have is those friends then how can you find depth in any relationship if everything and everyone is allowed to interrupt your time together?
If you need to communicate a small amount of data in a fairly urgent manner, then texting makes perfect sense.
But I just don't understand the constant texting and vibrating. How is it socially acceptable to prefer the company of those not there over those who are? If you'd rather be with someone else, go be with them. Otherwise, enjoy the company of those you're with. You'll see the others soon enough.