The problem with that explanation from a pedagogical point of view is that you have left the word "energy" deliberately undefined. Because it's undefined, your explanation is isomorphic to this one:
"Suppose all objects have a 'snorble' (whatever that is) give by a vector sum of two components..."
You also haven't defined M and P. I know you mean mass and momentum, but only because I already understand this stuff. If your target audience is someone who doesn't already understand it, you need to define your terms or your explanation won't be effective.
"Suppose all objects have a 'snorble' (whatever that is) give by a vector sum of two components..."
You also haven't defined M and P. I know you mean mass and momentum, but only because I already understand this stuff. If your target audience is someone who doesn't already understand it, you need to define your terms or your explanation won't be effective.