Tipping actually started as a way to establish priority in a queue--being served first at a bar, being able to make a song request to the guy performing, etc. It happened before you were served, as a way to signal that you care enough about your service to pay more, so you should be prioritized. (The clatter of coins in a tip jar was the original "bell" one would ring for service.) The modern concept that's most similar is "business class" on an airline--simple, good

The concept diverged from its original purpose as queues became fixed by company policies (could you imagine anything other than FIFO-order at a McDonalds?), companies grew until the people you'd tip got separated from the people who decide who gets served and how well (the maitre d' is not the waiter), etc.

For some people, tipping isn't patronizing but part of their minimum wage.

For others, it's an indication that their service was appreciated.

For yet others (NYC I'm looking at you!) it's considered a right: "Would you like change?"

Personally, I tip 10% as a rule. But if the service I receive is appalling, I'll withold it. And if the service is excellent, I'll tip more. And I'll only ever tip by card if I can't make it in cash - I trust leaving cash on the table for my server to be a lot more likely to go specifically to them than any house "pool" system...

Just FYI, if you tip 10% in restaurants in a major American city you will probably be perceived as under tipping.

In my short career of patronizing eating establishments, the accepted baseline tip has moved from 15% to 18% and now I believe it's at 20%.

It's your prerogative to tip as you see fit, but as it is a social norm, it's useful to be aware of what the "norm" is.

Maybe I've lived in exceedingly generous cities, so I'd be happy to hear back if 20% is not the "norm" for tipping a waiter at dinner.

10% is customary here in the UK, but then we do have minimum wage; AFAIK tips are tips.

When I was last in NYC the minimum was 12.5%, and that wasn't all that long ago - I was impressed that the bill included tip calculations, but what really annoyed me was the "would you like the change" thing.

I live in the US, and as far as I know the standard is still 18%. 20% is generous.

But 10% is definitely undertipping.

Tipping isn't patronizing; it's a cost-sharing mechanism. You don't have to like it, but you shouldn't mistake what it is.

I think he meant "patronising" as in "being a dick" not "being a patron".

Yes, that's what I thought he meant.