I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid. I received many different types of drugs and treatments that, IMO, didn't work. I barely passed the 3rd grade, failed the 6th grade and dropped out of school when I was a junior.
I was also a gifted artist, like my father, I could draw anything. I wasn't fantastic but it came easily to me. At 16 I picked up the guitar and quickly learned how to play and was proficient after a month.
These experiences made me question why I was good in some areas but failed in others. By the time I was 19 I gave up ALL drugs I was taking for ADHD and started my own treatment of "taking responsibility for my life."
This was the hardest thing I ever had done. At that time I was reading at a 6th grade level and has no prospects for jobs. I went to live with my grandparents and received the best education of my life. Discipline. They were farmers.
After 2 months I knew I had to leave and make a life for myself. I was scared and afraid but I had started reading self-help books and when tested again at the department of vocational rehabilitation I was reading 4-5 years ahead of my current age. My spatial skills were off the charts (their words).
I knew I had something special about myself that I could work with. I knew that if I worked hard I could do anything even if it took me longer to accomplish it I could do it.
I started by working my way up a janitorial company. I learned spanish in 6 months using Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques. I met my future wife and got married. I started putting computers together for the purpose of playing video games. I loved it. I was good at it. I eventually worked as a tech for a big box store and then worked in IT at a large insurance company when I found out I was going to be a father.
I learned everything I could about Active Directory. I then learned Perl as my first programming language and automated most of my job. I then started making games at home and learning as many languages as possible. I felt unstoppable.
Then my wife and I were having problems. Not huge problems but enough to get help. We sought counseling and happened to meet with a woman who studied ADHD as a specialty during her phD. Within 1 hour she said to me, "You know you have ADHD right?"
My heart sank. All those years of failure came rushing back to me. I thought it was crap. A ruse. A mis-diagnosis. How could I have accomplished so much. How could I have gone back to college and graduated with a 4.0 for my associates in comp sci and 3.8 for my bachelors. How could I learn all those languages and read over 500 books.
I had to come to grips with the fact that I still had it. But I made it work for me and it was unfortunately affecting my relationship with my wife. We were able to come to an understanding about who I am and accepting the way I think.
Now, I make games for iOS fulltime. From home. ADHD isn't a death sentence. It's only a disorder if it's making your life harder.
IMHO you probably dont have ADHD. Though we have alot in common, (Im also a musician and dropped out my jr. year of high school), reading your story gives me a feeling you may have been unfortunately misdiagnosed.
The easiest way to know is if Adderall or Ritalin made you feel normal and calm. (sometimes even sleepy. Ive taken naps while medicated on my adderall.) ADHD stimulant meds should have a very profound effect if you have ADHD. How do you feel when the medication wears off at night after having taken it for weeks? Crashed? Not that different? Wanting to take more?
And how did you feel when you stopped medicating after 3-5 days?
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid. I received many different types of drugs and treatments that, IMO, didn't work. I barely passed the 3rd grade, failed the 6th grade and dropped out of school when I was a junior.
I was also a gifted artist, like my father, I could draw anything. I wasn't fantastic but it came easily to me. At 16 I picked up the guitar and quickly learned how to play and was proficient after a month.
These experiences made me question why I was good in some areas but failed in others. By the time I was 19 I gave up ALL drugs I was taking for ADHD and started my own treatment of "taking responsibility for my life."
This was the hardest thing I ever had done. At that time I was reading at a 6th grade level and has no prospects for jobs. I went to live with my grandparents and received the best education of my life. Discipline. They were farmers.
After 2 months I knew I had to leave and make a life for myself. I was scared and afraid but I had started reading self-help books and when tested again at the department of vocational rehabilitation I was reading 4-5 years ahead of my current age. My spatial skills were off the charts (their words).
I knew I had something special about myself that I could work with. I knew that if I worked hard I could do anything even if it took me longer to accomplish it I could do it.
I started by working my way up a janitorial company. I learned spanish in 6 months using Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques. I met my future wife and got married. I started putting computers together for the purpose of playing video games. I loved it. I was good at it. I eventually worked as a tech for a big box store and then worked in IT at a large insurance company when I found out I was going to be a father.
I learned everything I could about Active Directory. I then learned Perl as my first programming language and automated most of my job. I then started making games at home and learning as many languages as possible. I felt unstoppable.
Then my wife and I were having problems. Not huge problems but enough to get help. We sought counseling and happened to meet with a woman who studied ADHD as a specialty during her phD. Within 1 hour she said to me, "You know you have ADHD right?"
My heart sank. All those years of failure came rushing back to me. I thought it was crap. A ruse. A mis-diagnosis. How could I have accomplished so much. How could I have gone back to college and graduated with a 4.0 for my associates in comp sci and 3.8 for my bachelors. How could I learn all those languages and read over 500 books.
I had to come to grips with the fact that I still had it. But I made it work for me and it was unfortunately affecting my relationship with my wife. We were able to come to an understanding about who I am and accepting the way I think.
Now, I make games for iOS fulltime. From home. ADHD isn't a death sentence. It's only a disorder if it's making your life harder.