Such trade-offs are common but they're still trade-offs. You're still effectively dividing yourself into two halves, and only because you're lacking the trust that life will favor those who engage fully to its offerings.
I don't mean to preach here as only you can know what kind of life is good for you at the time. But I think there's a immensely deep question beyond; that's why realising what you want is so damn hard in practise!
The reason I'm insisting on this is that I'm slowly beginning to hit the hard wall myself. I don't fully trust life myself either, yet. Trust also means letting go of lots of things you've believed that are important but which you're only attached to. Still, I'm afraid I can't prolong the current state of affairs for too long.
I don't mean to preach here as only you can know what kind of life is good for you at the time. But I think there's a immensely deep question beyond; that's why realising what you want is so damn hard in practise!
The reason I'm insisting on this is that I'm slowly beginning to hit the hard wall myself. I don't fully trust life myself either, yet. Trust also means letting go of lots of things you've believed that are important but which you're only attached to. Still, I'm afraid I can't prolong the current state of affairs for too long.