This isn't a good resume because it's blunt, it's good because he describes himself as basically exactly what you would want in an intern.
"I'm looking to pad out my resume for a few months until my dad can score me a cushy job at his firm" is also an honest, blunt thing to say in a cover letter... but I doubt it works as well.
That's the other thing that's critical: he's being blunt because he knows that he has just enough to make him actually a fit for the job on paper.
I bet plenty of blunt begging letters from people that don't have an internship from Merrill Lynch or a "near perfect GPA" get even less consideration than the majority of candidates that don't realise their internship and captaincy of the lacrosse team actually doesn't make them stand out from the other candidates from better schools.
"My grades suck as much as my school's reputation but I don't mind toadying to be a really well paid barista" would go in the bin too
"I'm looking to pad out my resume for a few months until my dad can score me a cushy job at his firm" is also an honest, blunt thing to say in a cover letter... but I doubt it works as well.