i've got possible good news for you then, there's a project that adds a translation layer between the two server protocols[0]. it has some limitations dealing with the different quirks and features that differ between both games[1], but it looks like everything else works fine. you could try that out if you find it to be a better option than wrangling with windows updates

as for VR, there's a third party mod for java[2], i tried it a couple years back and it felt pretty smooth, had no issues with it, but i don't have a point of reference to compare it to bedrock VR because i never tried it

[0] https://github.com/GeyserMC/Geyser

[1] https://geysermc.org/wiki/geyser/current-limitations/

[2] https://www.vivecraft.org/