You don't suck at communicating. The people who want to discriminate against you want to do it badly and don't care what you think about it. They don't believe in a colorblind society and equal treatment under the law, they believe in getting what they can get at your expense while crying victim. I'm not saying you shouldn't be nice to people, because some of them might legitimately feel disadvantaged by their minority status. But keep in mind that some of them know exactly what they're doing to abuse our sympathy.