It's Monday.
Rules: it has to sound moderately plausible. And debating "no that won't work b/c of blah blah blah" is no fun. Instead, suggest changes to help. We're all about productivity here.
To get the ball rolling: build another version of the large hadron collider in space, then, when it starts making black holes, throw it into the sun. Nothing says apocalypse like the sun dying.
obesity becomes the new norm. everyone gets so fat they can't walk around, global production grinds to a halt. Nobody can remember how to hunt or farm since its so long since our sedentary society has engaged in such primitive practices.
the irony is that we all die of starvation in the aftermath of our obesity. slow acting doomsday.