If you’re dead set on spending your discretionary time working and coding then dating will be impossible. I don’t think the opportunity to co-work together with others is the solution but I’m willing to be proven wrong. If this sounded snarky I don’t mean it to be, the programmer hobbyist is becoming rarer and rarer these days. Cheers
I don't know about co-working specifically, but meetups for startup founders, educational meetups for software engineering, and hackathons attract plenty of people of both genders.