He wants a wife that will be both attractive, loving, AND pulling in a $500k+ salary.
While I personally think it’s a pretty bad way to live life and I more agree with your overall stance (my wife is American but she is second generation immigrant from an Asian country and I can quite appreciate the difference in culture you are hinting at, thankfully she grew up with strong values from her parents more consistent with the ones of a first-generation immigrant like myself), I admit it’s going to be hard for him to fit the last requirement with someone from abroad (it still can be done though).
My speculation is that he comes from certain cultures that tend to be extremely aspirational, and given his looks and general transactional attitude he is going to be extremely disappointed in the long term, and he is robbing himself of precious years of love, affection and meaning chasing silly pursuits like cosmetic surgeries to improve his dating odds.
But I agree that if he wants all those requirements he probably should look for someone who is already a professional in the US.
> He wants a wife that will be both attractive, loving, AND pulling in a $500k+ salary.
And if she has all of that, why would she date “down”? She can pick anyone she wants. I don’t know anything about the parent commenter. He said he was “unattractive” and I assume lacks self confidence. I’m in no way trying to criticize him.
And if he were born “poor” (again his words), he probably still comes across as someone who has “imposters syndrome”. Women can smell someone who lacks self confidence a mile away.
I didn't put any of those specific requirements out there. I've said a professional working woman. If she made $500k+/yr, that'd be very nice but I don't think that's even remotely plausible for someone of my looks. I've known several women who fit that criterion and all have expressed that I'm way below their looks threshold. Women at or above that income tend to get exactly what they want from a partner. I've yet to meet one that is lacking in great options.
Overall, I'm interested in a more balanced relationship. I want to be involved in my children's day-to-day life and be a present partner as well. I can certainly make enough on my own to afford a $3m mortgage, private school for the kids, and so forth. I've already done it but it has a great cost in terms of my time and energy. I'm not interested in a transactional relationship where I'm used for my financial resources. I don't want someone to be with me due to their reliance on me for financial support either. I've been in that situation already and it's not fun to question whether someone actually loves you or just loves your ability to spend money on them.
I'd rather be with someone who genuinely loves me for who I am and can keep up with the demands that living in the bay area requires. I come from an incredibly poor background and don't expect someone to be where I'm at but if they can't even afford to support themselves adequately with their own labor in some place like NYC or SFBA then we're going to be incompatible.
You also said that you would want a wife who could have your back it you lost your job and help pay $20K a month mortgage for a $7 million dollar home.
I hate to tell you. But really attractive women don’t have to work.
While I personally think it’s a pretty bad way to live life and I more agree with your overall stance (my wife is American but she is second generation immigrant from an Asian country and I can quite appreciate the difference in culture you are hinting at, thankfully she grew up with strong values from her parents more consistent with the ones of a first-generation immigrant like myself), I admit it’s going to be hard for him to fit the last requirement with someone from abroad (it still can be done though).
My speculation is that he comes from certain cultures that tend to be extremely aspirational, and given his looks and general transactional attitude he is going to be extremely disappointed in the long term, and he is robbing himself of precious years of love, affection and meaning chasing silly pursuits like cosmetic surgeries to improve his dating odds.
But I agree that if he wants all those requirements he probably should look for someone who is already a professional in the US.