Hey @scyzoryk_xyz I laughed out loud and could understand the tongue in cheek sediment before the edits. When I was younger dreamed about becoming rich and buying a whole subdivision and moving my family and friends into the compound. Obviously, that was before I actually had a wife and children. Compromise is the only way relationships work with family and friends.
Good thing is you have more than enough HN Karma to burn so don't worry about the down votes, most people will get ‘it’ and gave you an upvote to offset the ones who did not.
Ended up with a karmic boost instead ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯
Yeah I’ve made decisions to go back, but haven’t started a family. I’ve been curiously observing how much for those friends around me with kids friction against „society” is a whole thing.
Your commments are great, and made me lol, which is super rare - great insight, honestly... thanks
But if you've never had kids, you're missing out on so much. This is just my experience, and is how I "grew up" from 20-35. I didn't want kids, but now love them so much, and as 55 year old man, with a 21 and 20 year old that still live with me, I'm doing so well, and have been blessed by them being in my life, and my wife who wanted kids more than I did, lol.
I know you are probably aware of this, and it probably tears at you, in some way. I know it did for me. And your mission, if you choose to accept it is not to live life on your own terms, but on the terms of God (imho), your health, your wife, your kids (if you choose to have them), and ultimately in others, which once you perfect the previous, you will want to help others more than anyone else.
Not everyone has to have children of course, and in many ways it'd be easier if you didn't, but it sounds to me like your seeking new paths, and this is a life changer, imho, and something that every generation before you did, to have you, and bring YOU to life.
Not saying you’re wrong, but when people with kids say this, it means very little to me. Like of course you’re going to say that, otherwise you’d be admitting that having your kids was a mistake.
Yeah, I’m somewhere in that window, and those thoughts are definitely emerging (I’m at 35 and SO is 33). This is blowing my mind, because I’ve been standing fast by the idea to not rush, to not force, to not push reality. But something is softening, not just in me but also in the SO.
I do appreciate you sharing the idea. It takes maturity to stop thinking only about your own terms, your own wants, your own needs. To take responsibility in one sense but to also accept your limitations. That bigger thing can be God.
Thank you for your kind words. The big question that is turning in my mind is if this is the only one path. Obviously, folks without kids don’t feel the urge to go around pushing others not to have them. And folks with kids love their children, so it’s not like they’re not going to want to share how profound it is for them. I used to perceive growing your family as this tedious chore, but I’m also starting to see how it can also be a wonderful gift.
It’s a big dilemma regardless. I just would not be sure whether to make the choice for my brood to live in a bunker commune surrounded by weapons, or whether to insert them into a world of skyscraper elite back-stabbing palace intrigue. On one hand I could ensure my blood mixes with that of our other apex predator families. But on another I could throw them into a doctrine of pain and suffering that grinds them into strength and perseverance. Decisions!
Good thing is you have more than enough HN Karma to burn so don't worry about the down votes, most people will get ‘it’ and gave you an upvote to offset the ones who did not.