A slight modification for my own philosophy: I always go to the wake/memorial.
The funeral (burial/internment) is usually for close family only. I will go, if it is appropriate, but usually, not. Sometimes, the funeral mass is more open than the actual burial.
I had a friend propose that we hire a woman and a child to stand a hundred yards away from the burial of a [male] friend, and leave before anyone can approach them, to add some mystery to the event.
The funeral (burial/internment) is usually for close family only. I will go, if it is appropriate, but usually, not. Sometimes, the funeral mass is more open than the actual burial.
I had a friend propose that we hire a woman and a child to stand a hundred yards away from the burial of a [male] friend, and leave before anyone can approach them, to add some mystery to the event.