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I used to think that people who were sick and stubbornly refused to go to the doctor were silly, but now, after reading enough cancer stories, I fully understand them and would do the same.

If I got a cancer that required chemo, I wouldn't want to know. Even if the survival rate was 90% with treatment, the mental turmoil would not be worth it for me. I'd rather have the 5% survival rate without treatment and without awareness of the problem.

Anyway I'm 35 now and I already feel like I've lived a full life. I feel like I've already seen and done everything I wanted to do 100 times over. Nowadays, every experience I have is derivative of some other past experience. My enjoyment of life is greedy and repetitive almost to the point of vulgarity.

When I hear about billionaires who are approaching 100 and undertaking radical treatments to live forever, I just don't get it. They've probably experienced way more things than I have, 100 times better than I have, yet they want more... Makes me wonder if they're fully feeling their lives. They must have a dull senses or poor emotional memory.



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