Yeah I'm skeptical of that one, depending on the context. I think relating is a critical part of normal human relationship building. How could I ever get to know someone who only ever listens to me and never relates back to themselves? They would get to know me, but I would never get to know them.
However, I do think it seems like the right advice for the orthogonal goal of being supportive to someone, either in a professional support setting (therapy, mentoring, coaching, etc.) or just if you can notice in the context of personal relationships when that's what the other person needs or would benefit from in that particular setting.
Like, if I'm just out for a normal drink date with a friend or my spouse, just chatting and shooting the shit, it would be ridiculous to never relate back to them. But if they texted me and said "hey can we meet up? I'm really struggling with my dad's illness and want to talk", then yeah, keeping myself out of it is the way to go. (Which I don't often do a good job of though... so maybe doing that more often in more situations would be good as practice.)
However, I do think it seems like the right advice for the orthogonal goal of being supportive to someone, either in a professional support setting (therapy, mentoring, coaching, etc.) or just if you can notice in the context of personal relationships when that's what the other person needs or would benefit from in that particular setting.
Like, if I'm just out for a normal drink date with a friend or my spouse, just chatting and shooting the shit, it would be ridiculous to never relate back to them. But if they texted me and said "hey can we meet up? I'm really struggling with my dad's illness and want to talk", then yeah, keeping myself out of it is the way to go. (Which I don't often do a good job of though... so maybe doing that more often in more situations would be good as practice.)