I'd argue that North American style suburbs have no legitimate place in the urban landscape at all, regardless of the nature of residents' jobs, as in they're an insufficient, half-hearted, and often ugly solution that people just get used to living in. I find them unsettling places to be most of the time.

The difference between a small town and a neighborhood though that favors my disposition, is that there's generally more variety and specialization available in the local economy and community, as well as less of a dependence on a vehicle for visiting anywhere outside the neighborhood. There's not just 1 gym, there's 4, there's not just one physical therapy office, there's 5, there's not just one dentist or coffee shop, there's 13. Of course, I'm not visiting even 2 of these places at any given time, but others are, and it's nice to know that there are alternatives.

And it's not just meeting people for the sake of socializing, it's also a platform for a broader exposure to diverse cultures and a hypothetically larger dating pool, more education opportunities, access to an international airport, more telecom providers (in theory) that can provide better services if that's important to you.

Small towns however seem great if you've already done all that and just want a quiet place to putter around and maybe have access to the mountains or enjoy farming. There's a certain serenity you might not get near/in a city, and there's absolutely a lack of space that small town wouldn't have. People in that small town might be welcoming and friendly as opposed to cold and hard to pin down in the nearby city, but the reverse could also be true depending on where you've chosen. It's a perfectly valid choice, it just depends what you're into I suppose, and if there's train access that would be even better.

I think you have a somewhat generalizing idea of small towns

In a town w/ a pop. of 6,500 I have:

- 1 gig internet (+ starlink, but I only use when traveling now)

- 2 dentist offices

- 4 local coffee shops + 1 starbucks

- 2 grocery stores + 1 walmart supercenter

- 3 gyms (but one is a curves so essentially 2) but none are crowded ever.

As far as international airports, I can either drive to the nearest city, about 45mins - 1hr but I have flown to a big airport from the town's airfield in a small aircraft.

You can find many small towns with many amenities and most of the times you have at least 2 options.

There's no denying there's more variety in the city, but often it's really not the drastic limitations you're imagining.

I will say, with what we do have there's no crowding, everything is very friendly, there's a lot of local options and people will go out of their way to help you.

But God forbid you live in the town 15 minutes from me, it barely has cell service.

You really can't lump small towns together, there's such a wide range.

Ya that's fair, I'm definitely thinking about them from the Canadian perspective (in terms of connectivity) at the very least, and tend to think of what you're describing as sort of a big town or tiny city rather than a "small" town. Here, we don't really even get fiber in anything but relatively known mid to large cities, and any small cities that grew after the 50s are mostly beleaguered by huge parking lots and bland franchises. Small to midsize towns that have some kind of older area with small streets and small commercial spaces tend to seem pretty livable though.

Having traveled across the U.S a bit by road, there are plenty of great places like Olympia, WA that sort of sound like what you're describing, and seem pretty livable.

The airport thing is just a matter of reducing the overhead and increasing the accessibility of me travelling elsewhere and others visiting me without a car. When my Mom visited last time, she asked me to pick her up somehow so she could avoid an Uber or taxi, to which I just said "Just swipe your credit card and get on the train, then swap to bus". Back in my home city though, each relative lives in some suburban corner that's only served by a rickety bus system, and people are pretty used to just paying for a taxi or long-term parking during the entire time they're away. If I had the car, it would only take 45 min to get to them from the airport, but without one it takes almost as long as the flight did across half the damn country. Clearly, even among cities, things vary quite a bit, but I'm glad that there do exist viable and desirable options for both of us, and hope more open up in the future.

Lots of suburbs - especially the so-called exurbs - are places that used to be a small town and still maintain a main street, but with a lot of living areas close to the main street. These suburbs are also "semi-suburbs" of the town, if that makes sense, and maintain many of the small town amenities.