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> Replace all of the shocking, mean, hateful, incorrect, ignorant, offensive, cruel things coming out of this person’s mouth with “I’m hurt! I’m hurt! I’m hurt! I’m hurt. I’m hurrrrt.”

You're replacing what the person is saying with what you think the person means. Surely if you could just go with what you think they mean, listening would be easy. In fact this sounds like the opposite of listening.




It's rather the opposite: if you could just go with what the person says to understand what they mean, then listening would be reallyyyyy easy.


> It's rather the opposite: if you could just go with what the person says to understand what they mean, then listening would be reallyyyyy easy.

Then I must be really good as listening, because I always believe I know what people are going to say.


That's orthogonal though - wha they are going to say is not the same as what they mean.

Good at listening means "understanding what they meant" (not necessarily, or even usually, what they said) and also "make them feel heard".


a knee jerk reaction when being attacked is to fight back. This is a replacement for that




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