That's got to be the worst excuse/reason given for forcing crummy openplan offices I've ever heard. Kudos on coming up with something so creative and ridiculous.

There is a decent chance that the retired old guy who is complaining about kidz these days not wanting to work spent from 9am till 5pm in their private office sleeping, drinking and trying to bang Doris from they typing pool.

This is why we cant have nice things.

Well according to that logic, having everyone go to an office also facilitates sexual harassment and other undesirable behaviors. No one can grab my ass when I'm WFH except my spouse.

That's why we should remove the restroom doors, too. The external walls of the office building, the fog, the night and the shadows.