I agree that I disagree with this as a blanket statement, but as a baseline, I would agree. The real issue here is why/how you're relating A lot of people relate poorly. The common mistake is as the author points out: to compare experiences. This comparison is almost never useful. Either your experience was worse, which feels invalidating to a listeners feelings or your experience was not as bad, which feels like an inauthentic relation.

IMO relating does a lot better when it serves a purpose useful to the listener. A few that I have found:

    1. when you're validating how they've already expressed how they feel. sometimes people doubt their own feelings and so you can use your own related experience to show them that you felt a very similar way when you were in a similar situation. caveat: dont ever tell them how they should feel, only validate what they've already expressed. also, if theyre not doubting their emotions, dont do this either...its not useful at best

    2. when you're trying to understand how they're feeling (e.g. one time my dog died and I would just always expect to see her around the corner, but she was never there...is that like what you're feeling?)

    3. when you're helping out with things that need to be done: (e.g. my parents passed away too, do you want help with sending out funeral invitations / finding a cemetery / etc)

    4. if they dont know what to do / what options are and you relate different experiences about how you may have dealt with a similar situation.

Caveats:

    1. Relating without a purpose will come off as a comparison, dont do it.

    2. Not every purpose is valid for every person. A lot of these reasons require that the person trust you to an extent. E.g. offering to help a stranger with their funeral obligations will come off very poorly.

    3. You have to have actual relevant experience with something, trying to shoehorn something tangentially related comes off very poorly.

    4. You have to know how to deliver the related experience

    5. They have to be ready to hear it: if someone is talking, dont interrupt. dont change the topic. only use the solutions above if the person seems like they are looking for it.

    6. tons more.

In sum, there are reasons to relate, but there are lots of potholes here so its very easy to get wrong. So, as a general statement I would agree, but if you can do these above things well, it can really help people when they may need it.