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I can't speak generally, but in my case it's not primarily a cultural issue. I also spend a decent amount of time in urban Malaysia, and the cultural gap to that (from the east coast US, where I grew up) is a much further jump than I get coming here to France; but I'm interacting in English there, and I'm more comfortable if confrontation arises than when speaking French.

I've also traveled elsewhere (fairly widely in India), and the need for confrontation does arise (being a tourist in any hugely-trafficked area makes you a nice fat target if you can't stand up for yourself), but I got the hang of it -- again, speaking English. France is ridiculously tame, by comparison... but it's been here where I've had to relearn how not to get scammed.

I think the real problems were mentioned in other comments: added latency, and lack of gut emotional connection to the words. (Interestingly, the cultural-gap-doubt I mentioned -- "is this normal behavior?" -- applies to travel in places where I don't speak the language at all, like eastern Europe, but the latency doesn't, since I'm just sticking with English in my head).

Side note #1. I really bristle at the arguments (and terminology) about "feminization" of men; there uglier terms for this idea, but in any form it's offensive. The idea that any trend of men being less aggressive, dominating, and verbally or physically violent is NEGATIVE just blows my mind. There's a huge difference between calmly standing up for yourself (an admirable action in a man or woman) and strutting around with your fists always at the ready and a sneer on your mouth.

Societies in general are better places with fewer of the latter wandering around and breaking each others' noses. And most folks who are succeeding in life according to my definitions have far more social sophistication.

Side note #2: It's not that hard to cross a road in any country. If you've never been there before, just spend a few minutes observing people and cars, and do what works locally. Dunno how this has anything to do with gender or culture, though I do see Americans overseas who seem to think they haven't left America -- that may apply as a cultural failure.




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