Interesting - I run Intellij Ultimate on Macbooks (both Intel and m2) and never have a crash. Infrequently run into bugs when upgrading the ide or 3rd party plugins; that requires some sort of cache invalidation or project reimport (couple times a year), but it's pretty smooth sailing for something I use across many different projects and languages. Java, kotlin, TS, python, groovy, shell scripting, json/xml/yaml/html/tsx are all generally touched 40+ hours on a weekly basis - it just works.
I do agree intellij is memory hungry with multiple projects open and a variety of languages involved, but RAM is cheap enough (and VMs/Docker/K8s hungry enough) that I just don't buy a machine with less than 32GB anyway, so I give intellij up to 6 GB and never give it another thought.
I don't do much android development, but do find Android Studio to feel clunky and slow at times, guessing because of the heavy integration with Android dependencies and emulation, but not really something I know enough about to comment with any sense of authority.
